Feb
15
Lately, JB has been fucking with his coworkers using the ingenious Annoy-a-tron. I think he’s gone through four at this point, stealthily sneaking into his friends’ offices and planting the device, then sitting back and chortling evilly as they go crazy tearing apart their stuff trying to figure out what in the hell that noise is.
On Wednesday, he received word that one of his coworkers had freaked out a little over the mysterious noise and called security. The next thing JB knew, he had an appointment with HR to “discuss the matter”.
He talked with his boss, incredulous that anyone would take a joke so seriously. His boss sighed, looked him in the eye, and said, “Well, would you have put one of these on an airplane?” While JB spluttered, she shook her head and told him that security at such a large corporation was a very serious matter indeed.
JB stewed all day long over this impending HR appointment, which he tried to reschedule (since it conflicted with another meeting), and got this in response: “Sorry. It’s very important that we keep this meeting, so we can discuss next steps.”
Next steps?
He finally showed up for the 3 PM meeting, only to find a note on her door: “I’m running late. Please wait.” A manager with an office nearby walked by to tell JB that she really needed him to wait, because it was very important that she talk with him. “I GET IT,” said JB, who I can only imagine was ready to gnaw through sheet rock at this point.
Then, a few minutes later . . . a bunch of his Annoy-a-tron’d coworkers came running up to slap their knees, bray with hysterical laughter, and tell him it was all a setup. “Dude, your face!” they howled, and JB sat there, dumbstruck by the power of What Goes Around Comes Around.
Karma’s a bitch, ain’t she?
:::
In other news, we are going to be doing some mad packing tonight in order to leave town tomorrow for Bend, where we’re staying for the weekend. It’s kind of a birthday-related getaway, since yours truly will be a whopping 33 on Monday (side note: JB was going to wrap some presents for me last night, and came to me to ask where the gift wrap was. “‘The’ gift wrap?” I said. “Um, at the store? In the gift wrap aisle?” We eventually found some old Christmas wrapping, but COME ON), although let’s be real, since we’re bring the boy it’s not so much of a “getaway” as it is “traveling with a very active toddler”. We’ll all be slugging the Children’s Benadryl by hour five, I’m sure.
And what about you? What do you have planned for the weekend ahead?
Comments
-
My product review site:
[
Oh my god, I’m a day late I know (for the whole what to get your guy for Valentine’s Day) and I should be posting this on SundryBuzz but have you seen this: http://www.shaveeverywhere.com/
Even if you don’t buy it for him, I think it’s a good way to make him laugh.
Could I possibly be the first commenter?!
I’m off to Whitefish, Montana to visit the brother with my one year old in tow. Husband is off to India on work so decided I needed to go find someone to babysit other than me!!
Oh, I’m new to your site, emjoy it loads.
I am in awe of the trips you take with Riley. We travel 3.5 to 4 hours to Pittsburgh sometimes, and the sheer will power it takes not to drive, accelerating, into a tree to STOP THE WHINING! Best of luck. And JB’s co-workers? Geniuses. Especially the “Please wait” part. HA!
As you know, I love the dear boy, but JB so deserved this. Who knew any HR person had a sense of humor? Promote the lady, I say!
Well, now that the nor’easter has passed and we’ve dug out (I live in Central New York – you can see pictures of the snow on my blog if you’re interested – not fun!), my boyfriend and I will be going to an SU basketball game on Saturday, followed by dinner with his parents. I’m actually looking forward to getting to know the future in-laws a little better, so I think it’ll be a good time. And on Sunday? Relaxing and playing the Sims 2 seems to be the plan. I hope. :)
Hilarious.
Have fun in Bend! Watch out, though—Bend seems to have issues with its drainage system, and we’re supposed to get a lot of rain over the next few days. I was there last winter and I swear every other road was closed because of standing water!
Just remember, you seat cushion can act as a floatation device.
I hope you have a great birthday!
I’m going to spend this weekend taking shots of cough syrup to get rid of this oh-so-attractive hacking thing.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!…..I mean, poor JB.
We’re getting a new freezer delivered Friday, so I’m spending the weekend buying ice cream and bringing it home and eating it and going out to buy more ice cream. Also, baking cookies “to freeze” and then eating them all and baking more, and then going down and getting them out of the freezer and eating them.
I hope you have a great birthday!
Happy birthday! And, JB had it coming.. What a great revenge!
We’re currently house-bound. We got insta-winter yesterday with 2-1/2 feet of snow. The good news: no work until next Tuesday due to the holiday. The bad news: we’re f-ing stuck, man!! Our plow guy has finally showed up, but he keeps getting stuck too. And the neighbor with the tractor has a flat tire. This is when I say, hmmm, maybe living in suburbia with a 10′ long driveway isn’t a bad idea…
I just tried to go out and check on the progress (plus G has been out there for a couple of hours and I wanted to make sure that he hadn’t given himself a heart attack and was lying dead on the side of our driveway) and I got about 25′ up the driveway with my snowshoes on, fell over forward, went back, fell backward, fell to the side, and got stuck. I’m sure if anyone had seen that they would have laughed their ass off.
Have a great weekend!
Happy Birthday Linda!
My son will be playing in his END OF THE YEAR BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT this weekend! So I will be busy watching 3rd-4th grade boys hoop it up all day on Saturday. He doesn’t like me to say that the boys are “adorable” to watch, but they are.
This is an extreeemely BFD, as you can imagine, with trophies and everything. GO HEAT!
THAT was the best joke comeback ever. HR! Bastion of fun!
So you and I are fellow Aquarians (my b-day is Feb. 10th)! Enjoy your birthday weekend! We will be enjoying the two feet of snow that was dumped on us yesterday by snowshoeing, sledding and then jumping into the hot tub afterwards. =)
My 16 year old is in a school play, my 14 year old is having a sleep-over, my 9 year old is going to complain about BOTH of these activities, and my 17 yr old step son is going to go hide in his room over all the estrogen in the house.
My goal is to survive the weekend and Monday. Kids have been home since early Tuesday afternoon and I’m feeling squirrly already. Luckily, I am at work to escape (and harrassment free internet) the chaos.
Have a great trip and Happy Birthday! You. Look. Mahvahlous.
Just as I was mentally preparing a rant about HR, I find there is at least one HR person on the planet who has a sense of humor. I wonder if she’d like to move to Portland. Was considering getting the anoy-a-tron for here, but after reading this, realized I probably would be called to the carpet by HR only they wouldn’t be kidding. Sigh.
Week-end plans include getting my son’s haircut and a date night with my husband. Woo hoo!
Holy crap, that was funny. I hope JB can laugh about it someday.
I’m going to be 33 in a month. It’s not so bad as “whopping” is it?
This weekend…I’m having blood work done on Saturday morning, so I have to hold breakfast until after that. My daughter is out of town, so no soccer to watch. Ummm…we need a desk for the boy, and maybe some toy-organization materials. We are having friends over for a Thai potluck on Saturday, which means we will be cleaning pretty much all night Friday and all day Saturday.
All in all, pretty pedestrian.
Ahh, Friday night I will watch The Departed on DVD since I couldn’t get to the theater when it was there. Saturday I will hopefully run 10 miles or so then I’m heading to Providence for a much needed haircut and then dinner with our friends we met on our honeymoon (they were on their honeymoon too) in Aruba a few years ago. Sunday, this is big, I’m trying to cook my first turkey dinner ever, for no other reason than I’ve never done it before. Monday – President’s day holiday means long run in the morning, and then hopefully a blissful afternoon of perusing the shelves at the local bookstore, one can never have enough unread books in her library for cold winter nights and lazy summer days.
I had that happen to me at Texas Instruments once, only they used Security instead of HR for payback. It was still worth it. ;-)
Since the weather should be good I plan to bike most of the weekend since I only have a couple more until Solvang. Happy B’day and have fun.
P.S I order some of those Annoy-a-tron devices. Too cool not to.
That’s HILARIOUS! JB’s coworkers are briliant!
Friday night I’m going camping with my husband and our dog. We are planning a 5 day camping trip in mid-March with in-laws and some friends, so we’ll be using this overnight trip as a test-run to see how the pup behaves in the wilderness & tent setting. To me, 5 straight days seems like a helluva long time to drag around an unruly dog on a leash. Sunday will be a day of studying for law midterms. Monday I’ll probably go get my eyes tested, as my left eye seems to be going to shit from reading so much. I get freaked out by someone else touching their eyeballs, so it looks like I’ll be wearing glasses from now on. Let the nerd-calling commence.
Heeeheee, it would have been great if they secretly taped JB’s whole HR experience and put it up for all to see.
Tomorrow I am going out to the High Dive in Fremont to see the Bad Things and some other bands. Being the mom of 3, this is a somewhat rare occasion, so am excited about that. But before that I have to go meet my new doctor and get my girlie check-up, ugghhh.
Then, on Saturday I am taking the train down to Portland to meet up with the group of women I will be travelling with to Ireland next month. I haven’t done the train before, 3 1/2 hours of peace and quiet to do whatever I want sounds nice though. I come back home Sunday and hopefully the house will not look like a hurricane swept through.
Have a great b-day and a nice relaxing trip!
after a “we must not spend another weekend in our pajamas” ultimatum to my husband, we’ve decided that we will take the young one to the new england aquarium on saturday to see penguins. holy crap it will be cold and the smell of chum will permeate, but fun times WILL be had by all godamnit!
enjoy your “getaway” and your birthday on monday. I’m sure both will be wicked sweet!
1. I turned 33 last week, er, the week before that! It’s a little surreal, 33. But happy birthday!
2. Ha! Too bad JB’s face wasn’t videotaped. Priceless, I’m sure…
3. Weekend….grocery shopping and getting a car tune-up. Maybe I’ll leave the hubby with the boy and sneak off to a movie. I know how to live it up!
I shouldn’t admit this, but I bought 3 of those things at Christmas. I just left one at my father’s house as a joke. It’ll take him weeks to figure it out. What is worse is that I just taped one under the table trim of my mother-in-law’s house.
Still trying to figure out what to do with the third. Oh well.
You should warn people when they are going to burst out laughing…especially when they are at work…LOL!
I’m going out to dinner and to a REO Speedwagon concert Friday night. No other set plans for the rest of the weekend.
Have a great birthday get away!
Ha, ha, JB really got it, didn’t he? Too funny.
As for this weekend, it’s Mardi Gras! We’ll be going to parades all day Saturday here in Mobile. I can’t wait. They really are so much fun!!!! Throw me some beads, Mister.
Ah, Bend. One of my most favorite places on the planet. I can’t believe you are driving all the way there just for a weekend trip. That is a LONG drive. I hope you have a good time.
As for this household, my brother in law is getting married on Saturday and he had the great idea to have Hannah my 2 year old be the flower girl. The wedding starts right when nap time usually does. Fun for all I am sure. She will finally show the world her screaming banshee routine. Especially when her cousin (the ring bearer) is trying to hold her hand and make her walk down the aisle.
I am making dinner tomorrow night for 12 of us, well, nine adults. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I am a SAHM and desperate for adult conversation so I am singing for my supper! I hope it all goes okay. Saturday night I am working, which is rare so I don’t mind. My husband has off on Monday so we’re going to go out to lunch while my MIL watches the babe. I think Saturday night we’re watching March of the Penguins, which we have from Netflix. This is lame, I know.
Nate and I sooo almost bought the Annoyatron just before Christmas. That was brilliant payback by the way.
This weekend I’m…I dunno. Nate is lending gear to a metal band tomorrow and I’m going to that, and oh yeah! On Sunday we’re going to a barbeque for one of his workmates who has cancer and is going overseas on a course with his wife for a few months. He’s possibly even going to the USA, in fact I think he might be.
Brilliant turnaround by the Gotcha-ed co-workers. Even better making him stew about it overnight. Hee!
Enjoy your birthday getaway. I’ll be making a trip to Best Buy and in general trying to stay warm in Chicago. I expect there will be hot cocoa involved.
Friday, we are going to see that movie about the East Germans, The Lives of Others. Saturday, make art, then go look at art with friends. Sunday, clean up the yard, and then make more art.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. JB’s co-workers totally win.
Happy birthday, and have a great trip. Me, I plan on getting in touch with my Inner Slug this weekend, and perhaps purchasing some new games for my shiny new Nintendo DS to assist in this process. Assuming, of course, that the boyfriend doesn’t commandeer said DS to play Final Fantasy all weekend. :)
That? Is awesome. I agree that JB’s coworkers win, although, don’t they know that kind of stress is not good for people? He better one up them next time. There has to be some way to beat that.
This weekend I’m crocheting. I have a blanket I need to have done by a baby shower on Tuesday, so my butt is attached to my couch until it’s done.
My husband gets in tonight from his business trip to NY. Then tomorrow, which is my 30th birthday, we will be flying to Spokane and driving to Great Falls, Montana to see my brand-new nephew. He is currently 5 days old. My parents will be there from Indiana, and it’s the first time the whole family will be together since 2004.
Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday, Linda! My 40th is today – and I’m stuck at home with a sick five-year-old. Kinda wishing *I* was turning 33 instead. :)
I’m flying 2500 miles from Seattle to Hartford, CT to introduce my 2 month old to his half brothers and sister for the first time. This will be the first time I’ve been “mommy” to 4 kids… y’all say a prayer, okay? Flying with newborn + stepkids + New England weather = potentially disastrous weekend.
That was so funny. Poor JB.
I turned 33 last month. It’s not so bad. I even managed to make it out of the state of denial which had me claiming to be 29a, 29b and 29c for my three previous birthdays…
This weekend? Cleaning. With my husband at home sick all week I’ve basically been struggling to keep on top of the essentials and the house is chaos from one end to the other. Fun. But I will definitely be claiming my Mum’s Time Off after this week. Maybe for all of Sunday *g*
This weekend promises to be pretty cool, if the baby and the Fates cooperate. Saturday I plan on being a lazy lay-about, just hanging around with my husband and playing with the baby, maybe having some friends come over in the evening to watch movies or something. Sunday is going to be a whirlwind of crazy hijinks as I go with my Mom to the Northwest Flower and Garden Show. It’s a pretty low-key event. (Except for having to keep an eye out for crazed gardeners running around with huge pieces of spiky garden-related metal work.) We’ve gone every year for ages. I am only a so-so gardener, but the entire entry fee is worth it when you walk in the doors and get a whiff of pure spring time from all the flowers and greenery and moist earth. Just what you need after a long winter when spring seems just too damn far away. And then Sunday night – Oh Glorious Sunday Night! – we are getting a baby sitter and going out! Out I say! And not just anywhere – we’ve got tickets to see The Shins! Whoo-hoo! That, combined with the fact that it’s a three day weekend for my husband , is the makings of a fine couple of days!
We’ll probably all come down with the flu.
Happy Birthday!
JB….ha! Karma is a bitch. At least it ended well.
We will be spending the weekend looking at houses, yet again. Lots of fun with a 12-month old.
Have a great trip and good luck with the Riley-wrangling!
Ah, best prank ever! Is JB manfully planning the next round of prank one-ups or what?
Happy happy birthday to ya! I’ll be performing in a burlesque show this weekend–for the FIRST TIME EVER and I am equally parts excited and holyshit scared that my homeade pasties are gonna pop off without my noticing and I’ll show the world my spirit-gummed nipple and really ohmygod maybe this was a bad idea can I quit now and still keep the hooker shoes and pink boa?–AHHHH!
“So’s your face!”
“What? That doesn’t make sense!”
“‘So’s your face’ always makes sense.”
“Dammit, she’s right.”
I love Scrubs.
That’s priceless! I totally fell for it, too. I was all “oooohhh, JB’s in so much trouble!”
This weekend, I’ll be preparing for motherhood. My husband is going back to work after being home with me and the baby for the first four weeks. I have no idea how I’m going to manage everything all by myself.
Ooooh- one of my coworkers put that same device under my chair as a ‘birthday joke’. That lasted for three days. It didn’t really bother me, but the people around me in the cube farm went insane looking for ‘that watch with the alarm’. So evil.
Heeeee!!! If only MB’s workplace was as understanding, I’d tell him to get one of those… or a dozen. I can think off the top of my head at least 4 people he’d use those on.
As for the weekend, I’m opening the shoe store on Saturday. No idea a/b plans for after. Daytona 500 is on Sunday, so unless my sr. asst. mgr. has me on that day, I’ll be parked in front of the tv rooting for Jr. and the rest of the DEI crew. And stewing that Mikey W. has already been docked points. Just ignore the last little bit, I’m a NASCAR addict with a capital nerd.
Happy weekend! And happy early birthday :)
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! My plans for the weekend? I plan on getting whatever virus is going around not because I WANT to get it but because it is my turn. You see, it’s been Barfapalooza here all week; first Captain Destructo had it, then Jr, then Hubby. I’m hoping if I get it over the weekend that 1) I can get it out of my system and not miss any work and 2) Hubby will be home this weekend to listen to me whine.
I like your plans better. Happy Birthday!!
This weekend marks the beginning of my February break and I will celebrate by doing nothing at all. It will be glorious!
Happy Birthday! We’re heading to Bend tomorrow morning ourselves- don’t be freaked out if a lurker says hello in the middle of the street. Well, more likely at Bend Brewery or Cascade Lakes Brewery. Enjoy your weekend! Here’s to hoping the drive from Seattle isn’t too awful with holiday traffic.
Oh my! I seriously thought you were leading into JB getting canned or something. I let out the biggest snort when I found out it was a joke.
I will be taking tourists paddling out on the Kohala coast of Hawaii (Big Island) and they will “oooohhhhhhh” and “aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh” at the Humpback whales that are wintering here………and so will I. I love my job, although no real way to use the Annoy-a-tron thingie here. I just tell my partner that I see a fin in the water behind him…..that usually works.
Happy Birthday! If you ever make it over to here I will take all of you out a’paddlin’….. no really I mean it.
Oh man, I love the annoy-a-tron. I had to share the website with my husband when I saw it on Sundry Buzz a while ago. Little noises drive him absolutely bonkers. He’s an IT guy, so he hates hearing noises. I thought this would be fun for him. But I love that JB’s co-workers got him back in a BIG way! That’s awesome.
Happy Birthday. I hope that you have a really great trip. My hubby and I are taking a night away in 3 weeks. We can’t wait to do something by ourselves. This never happens. We don’t have any family around and don’t know any good babysitters yet. We will be driving him to stay with our parents on our way to our “secret” location. My husband has planned the whole thing, so I have no idea where we are going. (He even arranged the babysitting with my parents.) Anway, it’s great to get away no matter what. Enjoy yourselves.
Again, more homework, but it’s my birthday too (sunday I’ll be 32). I’ll be having some horrible get-together with my family so we can all sit around and stare at each other while munching on german chocolate cake. Should be a blast :)