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Nov
4
Man, that last post was kind of a drag, huh? You know what, I’ve been in a foul mood lately. I’m pissed off that JB probably can’t come to New Orleans with me. I’m sick of a no-longer-interesting work project that should have been finished months ago but continues to drag on and on and on with no end in sight. I’m irritated with my house for being a Sisyphean pit of clutter and laundry, and I’m practically apoplectic that we have fruit flies again after a weekend of guests who cannot finish a banana, preferring instead to leave the peel and uneaten half rotting in the fruit bowl. My hair sucks and I can’t afford my stupid stylist and her ass prices. I’m already tired of hearing rude jokes about the entire state of Maine.
My coping skills have all but disappeared, and the slightest problem makes me want to throw myself on the floor and scream. (And eat dog hair, maybe.) I’m tired, headachy, and puffy. I would cut a bitch for a bag of chocolate-covered potato chips.
It’s probably a brain tumor, right? There’s really no other logical explanation.
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102 Responses to “After some 23 years of this, you’d think I’d recognize the symptoms”
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Loving, Lately
JR Watkins Vanilla is my new favorite body lotion. Love the smell, love the way it feels, love the awesome label design.
I may have mentioned it once or twice, but Breaking Bad is the best thing that has ever happened to television EVER. You should watch it right now.
Bob Book Series
Riley has honestly learned to read as a result of these little box sets. Cannot recommend enough.
This applesauce bread from Allrecipes is superfast, supereasy, and the kids love it (I leave out the spices).
Man, I have those brain tumors ALL THE TIME. Like, nearly every month.
Might want to skip the dog hair snack though; I doubt that will help.
I understand the total-and-utter-frickin-foul-mood-I-hate-everything.
Two things help me. A really good run, or a really funny movie. neither one gets my house clean, but i feel better with exercise or laughter endorphins streaming through my system…hang in there !!!
The only thing, and I mean ONLY thing, that helps me is my Wednesday night ladies night (is it Wednesday? Yay!).
A couple of years ago, I started a group of just moms. We get together once a week, baby-free, and de-stress.
It’s not a permanent fix, but it’s at least a way to vent and bitch and complain without anyone asking if we’re PMSing again. Because NO, ASSHOLE, I’M NOT.
…dick…
Ahem…TGIW.
If it helps, I was just looking at those cute Halloween pictures and thought ‘her hair looks so cute long like that!’
These things ebb and flow, life just has to suck sometimes, right?
But still, sorry it’s been so tough lately. Go do some alone time thrift shopping ASAP!
Sister, I am right there with you. Hang in there.
And you know you want to drop kick the first assface who says ‘gee, is it that time of the month again?’
Ok, I’ve probably missed the entire point of this point, but I have to say something about the houseguests. I *think* you’re referring to your in-laws, and I think it’s incredibly admiring for you to have a rule re: not shit-talking about them on your blog. I sometimes see little comments sneak out here and there, and I have to tell you: houseguests in general suck balls. In-laws ESPECIALLY. I have a set that are a major pain in the ass and I sometimes find myself thinking back to old posts of yours as I try to keep my trap shut while dealing with mine.
Case in point:
1-A while back you mentioned that they put forks in the dishwasher prongs UP. Well, mine wouldn’t even go near my dishwasher, but everytime my M-I-L walks into my kitchen and says something snarky, I think of the forks. (Being thrust into her eyes.)
2-The therapy comment about Dylan was appalling. I’ve been told that a meal I made tasted disgusting, my organizational skills are bad, I don’t know how to throw a garage sale, making guests wash their hands before holding my 7 day old daughter was rude, and would I mind going to bed early so that she could have some friends of hers visit for a girls night in MY living room. Sans me.
Now, granted, those comments might not be too bad, but it was a 3 day visit. That’s a lot of lip for a little bit of time.
They arrive in Jersey for their next visit on November 19th. I just can’t fucking wait! I told her that the 19th is a tough day for me because it’s the 2nd anniversary of my mom’s death, to which I was told, “It’s our wedding anniversay and after a long day of traveling, we wouldn’t mind if you could make dinner for us.”
Here we fuckin go!
Dana, I am not laughing at your situation by any means, but the way you described it sent Diet Coke shooting out of my nose.
Dana. Forks thrust in her eyes, OMG I spat coffee all over my desk from the visual..LOL….
As for the dinner for their anniversary, when you have already explained the 19th is tough for you, I’d tell them to shove it.
I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I can’t even imagine. my thoughts and pryaers are with you ((hugs)).
“I would cut a bitch for a bag of chocolate-covered potato chips.”
Let’s figure out how to make these, produce them and sell them when we’re in NOLA in February.
I’m noticing my days like this are much more intense since the introdution of the Mirena. Like pre-Mirena, I was bitchy, but not homicidal.
Ugh- I so feel you. Why can’t JB go with you to New Orleans?
Sometimes I wish us adults had permission to express our emotions the way our irrational toddlers do- crying, ranting, screaming, etc. Instead, we carry our frustrations, disappointments and stress around, letting it all fester and bubble beneath the surface. It gets old fast, dude.
“I would cut a bitch for a bag of chocolate covered potato chips.”
Rocky Mountain chocolate Factory sells these, and they’re pretty good! Though, I am sorry to report, they do nothing to satisfy that unrelenting craving for something sweet and salty, being shoved in your mouth by both fists.
My FMIL visited us last month–among my too two favorite comments were: “Who the hell puts zucchini in spaghetti sauce? Who the hell is she trying to impress?” (I just really like zucchini! It goes in my chili too!) And “I’d rather my son was with [his first wife] but I suppose you’re fine enough.” Um, thanks?
I usually succumb to a day of sitting on the couch in sweats, feeling lousy and half doubled over, but after that, I go down to my gym and shoot a basketball. I have no talent, but the energy of having a quantifiable physical goal really helps. (Get the ball in the damn hoop!) Plus, the echo of the ball on the floor does wonders for my wildly careening irritability.
I am so relieved that I’m not the only one! My exact words to my husband last night were “I no longer have the coping skills to deal with our life.” Right before I sat on the floor & cried. Please stop bogarting the chocolate covered chips woman… :)
Heather (onedayonefoot)–please tell me that SOMEONE said something to her when she made that dicky comment about your husband’s ex??
I swear, if my M-I-L even so much as mentioned my husband’s ex-girlfriends names with a SMILE on her face in my house, my foot would be so far up her ass. AND, if my husband didn’t say something to her, as well, you can guess where my other foot would be.
That’s bad!
Wendy-thanks for the kind words about my mom. V. sweet!
I honestly went through the exact same thought process last night. I was exhausted and pissy and starving and achey all over and it wasn’t until I actually awknowledged the cramps I’d been ignoring all day, that I put it together.
When I finally figured it out, I put myself to bed at 8:30. Fun, fun, fun.
Heather @ 12:10, have you read this blog? http://devilsdaughterinlaw.blogspot.com/ Your MIL sounds as bad as hers.
And thanks a lot, Linda for making me realize that I’ve been having my period for 21 years. Now I feel old.
Ha! Right before reading this, I was wondering why on EARTH I am sooooo tired today when I got plenty of sleep and why I am sooo CRANKY at nothing whatsoever. Then I looked at my calendar. DURRRR. Gets me every time!
I too, was pissed about having crap hair and not being able to afford $60 a pop for my stylist. So I chucked it in and visited Floyd’s Barbershop. For less than half of what I was paying, I got the best haircut I’ve had in a while.
When chocolate covered potato chips can’t be found, the next best thing is saltine crackers and a can of frosting (preferably rainbow chip). After that I MIGHT settle for Ritz crackers and marshmallow fluff.
Yesterday morning I was in a mood and B was very kind about it – “I know something’s bothering you, please talk to me” – “I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT’S BOTHERING ME BUT RIGHT NOW IT’S YOU” – That? should have been my clue.
You know? I think it’s criminal that women should suffer through PMS/menstruation AND toddlers at the same time. Because that’s grounds for divorce from the universe right there. Your last post brought up all kinds of bad memories of THOSE DAYS and all I can say is: it won’t always be like that. They still suck when they’re older but you can actually have a shouting match in English and be happy when they stomp off to their own room in a pout because – SCORE! – the house is quiet. Do I care about their feelings? No, I care that you’ve shut the hell up and left me alone for 20 minutes. And if I hear one more word about how every child on the planet has a DS and you don’t…..
:) It’s still better than toddlers. Any. Day. Of. The. Week.
Annnd so I feel your pain or whatever… I am in the same mood. Suckage.
Also, it is like the realization of what is causing this, er, behavior is NEW every freaking month and yet every month it is the same thing – rather rinse repeat.
This may be what is feels like to get old.
Right. There. With. Ya’. Change a few personal details, and this could have come out of my mouth today.
Excuse me while I go treat my brain tumor with a Chinese buffet followed closely by a raid on my son’s Halloween candy.
You’re pregnant, right?
Haaaa.
have you tried these? i’m just sayin.
http://www.foodshouldtastegood.com/#/chocolate/
Watch Modern family tonight! It’ll do you good.
Aw, man, you’re singing my tune. EVERY. TIME. It happens to me every. time. One day, I’m sitting there angrily adding up all the things in the world that are just fucking BULLSHIT, just BULLSHIT and then I add up some dates on my fingers and … oh, right. Huh.
Yes, to all of that.
Brain tumor
OR
TWO 6-8 pound parasites were removed from your body forcibly and with SCALPELS in the last four years and you’re still recovering from the trauma.
Yeah. PTSD.
Go with that.
If only I could be so articulate in explaining to my hubby why I get in my ‘moods’. The answer – D. All of the above.
I can help with the fruit flies. A couple tablespoons of apple cider vinegar and a dollup of dish soap in a little bowl. You’ll be shocked at how many fruit flies meet their death :) That satisfaction (and amazement) should bring about a smile.
Um, it seems small, but I can help with the fruit flies. Put 1/2 c. water in a bowl, add a splash of apple cider vinegar and a bit of dishsoap. Stir with finger and wait for those suckers to fall to their death.
yeah, I was always caught by the rage/cry surprise as well until this past year when I finally set “this” up on my calendar so every month I receive an email reminder to buy a bag of salt-n-vinegar chips and some brownie bites.
God, amazing how it sneaks up on me every damn month – every month, I wonder if I’m losing my mind, if my life is the hardest little life, if my husband really IS the most aggravating person in the entire world. And then, the truth becomes apparent: it *is* PMS, and if you keep looking at me like that you will be in a world of hurt.
…what? That’s a normal response, I swear.
Add in “bursts into tears at random over small minor inconveniences or commercials” and you’ve got me pegged.
Yeah…definitely a brain tumor. Luckily, I had my brain removed 3 years ago. Not one regret over it, either. No more tumors…no more hats…Ah, relief.
Of course, I had a medical reason for it – but I also WANTED it.
Anyway. You can have all my chocolate…I still love it, but don’t NEED it. I’ll send it your way ;)
HOLY CRAP! I THINK I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR TOO!
Mmmm, chocolate-covered potato chips.
Ahem: I know what you people need.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/pretzel-turtles/detail.aspx
DO IT
Every single month I do this.
Are you getting enough rest? Not to be an ass but other than the brain tumor, period, or alien taking over your body ideas…Girl – maybe you’re just plain exhausted. Vistors, children, work and husbands can be super-time consuming…plus zombie walks and trying to train for marathons. If you can swing it, take a day off (while kids are at daycare) just to give yourself a break. Do something for you or just sleep in. :)
Honestly, it sounds like you need a nap and a relaxing weekend. You just sound stressed out and like you haven’t had a break. Hm, could be Halloween + house guests?
Shit, if yours is a brain tumor, than mine is the MOTHER OF ALL BRAIN TUMORS.
I’ve ALWAYS had bad hair, I never could style it worth a damn. So…I’m letting it grow out (it’s about mid-back now) and I cut my own bangs so there you go. Uber-cheap! Dana, I’m sorry you had such a shitty comment about the anniversary of your mom’s death. If they want to celebrate their anniversary they can get a hotel room and the FIL can buy them dinner, proper-like.
Dana:
She convienently waited until my fiance and his father had stepped out to run to the store. I think my mouth was still hanging open when they got back.
At that moment, I dumped all of dinner in the sink and went to a movie. The ex is a sore spot, I won’t lie. She, a few hours earlier had said family wasn’t important to me because I refused to go with her to the ex’s house for a family visit.
wtfever.
“I would cut a bitch for a bag of chocolate-covered potato chips” – OMG – I love you and the witty, hit the nail on the head imagery you rode in on.
There, there. Here, take a bag of Cheetos and some of these Ghiradelli dark chocolate caramel squares. Mind if I join you? Brain tumors are haaaard, man.
Sounds like you need girls night out *hint*
Finding comfort in this post and knowing that I’m not the only one who can’t afford a damn haircut right now. I suppose I’ll have to look like a pyramid for a little while longer. Dammit.
Re, fruit flies: pour some apple cider vinegar in a ramekin or small bowl, cover with saran/cling wrap & secure taut with a rubber band. poke 4-5 holes in the plastic, and voila, instant fruit fly trap!
Twenty bucks says the fruit flies are from Maine.
This will not be comforting to you, but I just have to say it: wait until you hit your 40s. That damn brain tumor sets in for months at a time. And just when you think you have it’s new look and feel figured out, it goes and changes on you and looks entirely different for a week, or two, or months at a time. And you loose all ability to remember anything. And you start to grow hair in places you never knew you had. And, and, and. The only good thing about it, which others will debate, is that you don’t give a gotdamned flyin’ fuck what other people think about it.
Bonus? Being single and trying to date during this fabulous time. One day it’s “ugh, men? whatever” and the next day you could devour any of them as long as they have the right appendage.
It’s like going through puberty all over again.
You know how sometimes people say “Don’t be THAT GUY?”
I am pretty sure people who take half of what is obviously a single-serving food and leave the rest are one of the many, many possible definitions of THAT GUY.
Dana,
I would LOVE for you to have said, “Well why the HELL aren’t you at HER house then?”
It’s sad that I live my life making up my own responses to other people’s dramas.
Sundry,
I am possibly with the other commenters who mentioned Mirena because (if you still have it) it puts that kee-raaa-zy time on an unpredictable time line and you can’t tell if you’re going batshit crazy or if you’re just going through the normal hormonal cycle.
Thank YOU! This post and ALL of the comments are just 7 kinds of awesome. thank you all for validating my insanity from last night.
Oh, and can we also blame it on the full moon? I think when our ‘time’ strikes during a full moon it’s even worse!
And for all of you with horrid MILs, I am sorry. Sending you virtual forks for the necessary eye stabbings!
Oh for reals Linda. I hate freaking brain tumors. (As a side note, my friend had a brain tumor that made her lactate when she had never had children!! No lie! )
My in laws are actually great, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t drive me batshit insane at times.
I second the fruit fly trap with saran wrap, vinagar and soap. It is wonderful! It has saved my sanity the past several weeks. And my kitchen has no fruit flies.
Dana- I would be serving the MIL delivery pizza when she arrives for “her anniversary” and maybe let my husband do it, while I went out with a friend for a glass of wine.
You made me laugh.
I don’t even want to get started on the fruit flies.
And hey, about the last post, don’t guilt yourself too much about not enjoying every minute of this time. Some minutes suck. Some years suck. But, we are mommies; we must think long-term. There will be plenty of good memories; if they weren’t made today, they’ll be made tomorrow (or next year).
You see? In my peri-menopausal rant I totally forgot to offer the one helpful piece of advice I have: if your health insurance covers accupunture, it works WONDERS for pms and regulating hormones (not to mention just giving you at least 45 minutes of calm relaxation).
Off to forget something else now…
PS: Yes, I totally stopped at the grocery store for a can of frosting and a box of crackers on my way home. I’m blaming my next dentist appointment on YOU.
What’s even more pathetic: being on THE PILL, hell, the THREE MONTH CYCLE PILL, with the DIFFERENT COLORED PILLS that indicate PLACEBOS….
….and STILL not getting the hint.
Linda, I feel like I bogarted your comments, but I have to say, they’ve made me feel so good and validated my ill feelings towards my mother in law. Thank you all for your kind words towards me and shitty words towards my mother in law, because she deserves them so much!
Oh and I am currently eating those turtles things that someone suggested making up there. They are so fucking delish. Although the temptation to eat them immediately after taking them out of the oven is strong, please resist! They get BETTER as they cool! Go figure. Oh, and I used Rollos. Caused that’s the only “chocolate covered caramel” I know about.
Man, you make me laugh. Sorry it has to be so freakin’ annoying right now. But you do it all with hilarious grace. (Just don’t eat the dog hair!!)
Iiiiits not a tumor.
(please tell me you read that in the right accent)
I am also going two give big, bat-shit anxiety crazed thumbs down to the Mirena. I had it for 14 months and I became increasingly crazier each month (and not just during PMS). Two weeks after I had it removed I started to feel like myself again. It was such a relief to know that I’m not that much of a crazy bitch. I know a lot of women love it. It just didn’t work for me. At all.
Anyway, this was hilarious. Your mother-in-law’s comment would have infuriated me regardless of what time of the month it was.
Ack, sorry for typos. Angry toddler hanging on leg while I type. “I am also going to give two big…” And I’m not saying the Mirena is causing you problems, by the way. Just sharing my experience.
Katherine hit the peri-menopausal nail right on the head. I’m STILL laughing out loud!
Yes. It’s even worse when your brain tumor has you convinced all these symptoms are actually being caused by a baby-shaped tumor. But they never ever are. The jerk.
Wow, great post followed by awesome comments. I NEVER post, (seriously, this is only my second post in almost two years of reading)but I had to come out of lurkdom for this one.
Linda: I have that same brain tumor. I hate that bitch. Luckily for all involved, (except my ginormous ass)my house still has a shit-ton of halloween candy, snickers and milky ways and butterfingers, oh my, and shoving those into my piehole is distracting me from murder and mayhem. Hugs to you, my dear…I wish I had something useful to say.
Heather: No effing way would mentioning the ex fly in my house. Not unless it was mentioned in a “Guess who just died in debtor’s prison” kind of way. You are to be commended for not planting a boot in a sensitive spot.
Dana: OMFG, blog, now! While I felt your pain in that reply, and wanted to sympathize, I was too busy laughing. That was really well written.
It’s a brain tumor. The same one I have. And I found out…. that I’m in the group who now is more likely to die from the H1N1 because I’m over 50…..but, I’m still refusing to get the shot.
I give you the Fruit Fly Apocalypse:
Take a banana, peel it, and place it on a baking sheet in a cold oven. Open the oven door just a crack overnight. The fruit flies will swarm to that sucker.
In the morning, slam oven door shut, bake fruit flies for 20 minutes at 400 degrees, laughing maniacally all the while.
This week has been a total downer for me. I’m tired and cranky and not coping.
I’m blaming the time change, which seems silly because it’s only an hour. But ew, dark at 5 now? And the day just draaaaags.
There are so many reasons that I love you, Sundry – and this is just one more to add to the list. I’m totally with you!!! And I still never figure it out until the tell tale sign. Oh!!! So THAT’S why I hate everyone and everything!!?!?!?!? :)
Eat the chocolate potato chips and cross that one off your list. It’s the easiest to accomplish.
SWEET JESUS! GET TO THE DOCTOR! STAT! Because all of those things have obviously given you a brain tumor.
But your desire for chocolate covered potato chips shows that you still have your sanity. Do you have any queso to dip those in? Because if so? I AM SO THERE!
A Brain Tumor!! I KNEW it was something serious!! Forget Dr. Google! I’ll just consult Dr. Sundry from now on!! :)
Sundry, GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Arrgh! And the same goes for Heather – I had one of those meltdowns last night but didn’t articulate it anywhere near as well.
So, about those pretzel things, given the limited supply here in NZ I need to ask – are they salty? Cause if not that just leaves me with the choc covered pretzels. hmmm….there’s a thought :o)
I am right there with you. Deep breaths. Treat yourself to your favorite meal, by yourself. That’s what I do. And I enjoy every blasted second of it.
You know what I do when I’m in a funk? I come here and read your blog. When I haven’t worked out and eat shit all day long, I go to Bodies in Motivation. Go back and read your old stuff and you will see how far you’ve come. And nice hair, so overrated.
You are deep in the throws of an official funk otherwise known by it’s scientific name Funktification. It happens to the best of us. Sometimes that little bastard just sneaks up on us and sometimes it hits us in the face with a frying pan.
Question. Why 23 years?
Hope your bad mood passes soon. Sometimes shit just happens! I don’t have any kids, but my husband’s and my cars both decided to die this week. His is so old that we decided that we’re going to buy something to replace it. Mine is in the shop right now. Last night I made a pan of fresh brownies to numb the pain. This is my grandmother’s recipe- super easy and quick:
Faye’s Brownies
Preheat oven to 350.
Ingredients:
1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
2 eggs, well beaten
2/3 cup vegetable oil
2 squares baking chocolate, melted
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped nuts
Sift flour, baking powder & salt. Set aside. Beat sugar into eggs, mix in vegetable oil, chocolate and vanilla. Add flour, all at once. Add nuts. Turn into oiled 8×8 pan. Bake for 30-35 minutes.
Mmmmm.
Need chocolate covered potato chips? Not a problem. I live in a small Ohio town, and we have a local candy shop that makes those (and they are YUMMY!) They ship all over the country too:
http://mariescandies.stores.yahoo.net/
Enjoy! Oh, BTW, if you cannot find them on the web site, give them a call. They are AWESOME to work with :)
Dana: email your MIL the phone number of a pizza place, and tell her the phone call is on you. You are so funny, I was really laughing. When your MIL criticizes the taste of your food, you can say “how kind of you to point that out!” If she has any sensitivity at all, she will then feel like an ass. Also, I’m so sorry about your mom. last: start a blog now please. :)
Sundry: the therapy comment was all kinds of whack. the brain tumor thing made me laugh! I also have a project (a book chapter) that is dragging on and on. I’m worried they are going to kick my chapter out of the book! I am determined to finish it today. Maybe the time change is part of the general suckage? I hate that it’s dark so early.
Heather: I agree with someone above, you should definitely suggest that your MIL go to the ex’s house.
Fay: AWESOME
THANK GOD it’s not just me! I think I’ve been eating a shit sandwich for three weeks now. And no doubt I’ve been serving them up to everyone in my path too! Aaaarrrrggghhh!
Linda, I’m the bitch you’re gonna have to cut up. Get OFF my fuckin’ potato chips. Oooh, are those pretzel turtles? Here, have the chips. *scurries over to the turtles*
Dana, I second the demand that you start a blog, STAT. It’s a good thing they don’t live in the same town as you or you’d have that all the time. While my in-laws aren’t quite as, erm… colorful (read: underhanded and passive aggressive) they, mainly my FIL, still suck, and only live about 10 minutes away. I’m pissed at them right now because for the 5th year in a row (incidentally the exact age of my first born) they’ve flaked out on babysitting for us on our wedding anniversary after they promised they’d do it. And this is really only one of two times all year long that we ask them.
Pass the fuckin’ chocolate salty stuff.
Oh! And Dana, I would make that “disgusting” meal for your MIL on the 19th and as you serve it add a lil’ spit for flavor! :)
[...] I read this incredibly insightful and eye-opening post over at All & Sundry. [...]
Either that or PMS!
So funny that Mirena has been mentioned so much here, because when I read your post, I was like Hey – she should try Mirena. I got it six months ago and besides a day or two here and there, I’ve had NO monthly visitor, and I don’t think I’m any bitchier than I used to be – I feel much more in control as far as sending out APB for chocolaty/salty/whatever I can find foods. I do get an extra facial blemish every now and then, but it’s great to be worry free from the monthly.
My FMIL also drives me batty. Literally (and I take that word seriously) every single decision we have made for our wedding has been met with some sort of criticism. That includes the date we chose. We called her after we booked the venue (we chose a day in late March) – I shit you not, the very first thing she said was “That’s really inconsiderate and selfish of you to make your guests travel [from CT to MA, woooooo a two hour drive, how fucking terrible] in that AWFUL weather!” Not “congratulations,” not “where are you getting married?” In fact, she didn’t know where we were actually getting married for a full 2 weeks after we booked the place because she forgot to ask where it was happening, she was so mad that we chose such a “terrible” date. That was a year ago, and it has not stopped. It’s everything – the venue, the BM dresses, the groomsman outfits, the menu, flowers, favors, wedding party….even the registry. One item I registered for was too expensive, another too cheap. She even told me (about 5 times) how much she hates red, after I told her that’s one of my wedding colors.
If you couldn’t tell, I have a lot of rage.
Yep, I have the Mirena. I do like the fact that I never buy tampons any more, that’s for sure.
I never really used to notice PMS, now I do. Maybe it’s that I’m getting older. Maybe it’s a post-kids thing. Maybe it’s Maybelline . . I mean, the Mirena. Who knows? Thank god it’s only a few days now and then, because it’s seriously like having someone else’s brain. Their ANGRY, CRABBY, SNACKY brain.
Ohhh, a place to vent about my MIL. *claps hands excitedly*
Here are my top five moments:
1) No card or gift for my son’s birthday.
2) Her telling me I needed to “wait on” her husband, my husband, and brother in law, since that’s what “women do”. I later got chastized for not offering my FIL a drink, at my brother in law’s HOUSE.
3) Her coming over the night we got back from the hospital w/ my son. She brought nothing, and we had to order dinner. And then they WOULD’T leave. I was engorged beyond belief and in tears.
4) Telling me I was putting my son in danger, b/c I had too many problems breastfeeding, and that I was starving him.
5) Her giving my husband an earful b/c I hadn’t sent her pictures of my son. After we recieved no b-day card of gift from her. My husband wasn’t working, but I was to send these things. His ex fiance STILL DOES, after all.
Or you’re pregnant.
word.
Kelly, is your name really Cheryl, because you’re describing my shitty monster in law to a tee and, since you’re not me, I thought that maybe you might be my husband’s brother’s wife? No? Just a thought.
When she’s not busy bashing my cooking and cleaning skills, she’s bashing my parenting skills. And complaining about the lack of pictures sent to her. And alas, I know it may sound petty, but she never gives gifts to my daughter. Her only grandchild!! Why not?? I don’t get it.
Ok, I didn’t want to get into it anymore, but I just have to share this with you all:
My mother died when I was 5 months pregnant with my first child. Rather than my MIL take over with baby shower plans, she left it up to my father! Who’s 1) mourning a dead wife, and 2) a man. And when HER friends were not invited to my SURPRISE BABY SHOWER, she called me to complain and told me to tell my dad that he should have invited them! This woman must be stopped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAHHH, now I have to go and make more turtle preztels!
Last night when I got home my husband actually said “wow, the house was cleaned and you got your hair highlighted, I don’t remember the last time you were this happy.” So then I had to explain to him those two things are like sex with a blow job. I think he gets it.
Seasonal Affected Depression Syndrome -SADS
Affects up to 20% of the population in States bordering Canada (that explains Maine!!)
Worst week is the first week of Standard Time
Cure – Light Box – Available at Costco
Oy… so sad to be from Maine. And the brain tumors are normal, I hope. I have them a lot. I usually call them “life” and drive into a carton of ice cream…
Let’s not forget that this week also started with a full moon and a whole new time schedule. Everyone is feeling a bit off. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you rule!
Right there with you. The eating dog hair comment made me laugh out loud, though…so thanks for that! I needed it.
Sundry, I feel your pain, woman. And pass the chocolate-covered potato chips!
Dana: I am so sorry that you have such a shitty MIL. And that you had to deal with her during losing your mom AND being pregnant. You’re right, she must be stopped!
OK, enough with the hate on Maine. We’re not that bad…
Linda, I’m with ya. I’ve been sooooooo cranky lately with life. Here’s the thing, I also recently got the Mirena. I love it and don’t want to get rid of it, but I am starting to get concerned that that may be the cause to my craziness. Maybe if I were rich, beautiful, had the perfect husband, kids and job then I wouldn’t be so crazy.
This was me two weeks ago. I even had notes for my therapist. COPING SKILLS NOT WORKING. WANT TO MURDER HUSBAND WANT TO *MURDER* HIM PAINFULLY POSSIBLY *WITH* THE DIRTY DISHES. And I cried and wangsted on my blog and then got my fucking period for the first time in almost two years.
You are awesome.