Since Ruby the dog has arrived, I’ve:

• Been snouted in the back of the leg at least 57391 times. She has a habit of excitedly coming up behind you and pressing her nose against your skin, and if I’m wearing shorts it feels a tiny bit like being goosed by a slug. If I’m wearing a skirt, she’ll go right ahead and lift the fabric in order to deliver a proper snouting, and we had one incident in a park when she skirt-snouted a lady whose facial expression I can only describe as “Initially horrified, then (thankfully) amused.”

• Seen this face every time I eat something:

*sad music plays*

I know Labs are notoriously food-driven but wow, this dog really wants you to believe she has never eaten ever. On the training front, we need to work on begging, along with most of the other basics, which she soooort of has down but really more as the result of being good-natured than actually following any directions, if that makes sense. “Drop it” needs to be a priority, since she practically gulped down a hair scrunchie yesterday thinking it was some sort of snack.

• Been completely surprised by how the cat’s behaving around the dog. I was so worried about the cat’s safety ahead of time and whether she’d be traumatized, and instead she has the dog scuttling around looking worried. The cat is doing all these dickish things like lurking around a corner in order to hump up and do a bunch of swatting whenever the dog comes derping her way into the room and it’s just MEAN. I mean, I’m glad she’s holding her ground and all, but at this point the dog wants nothing whatsoever to do with her, so, like, can’t we all just get along? Also considering the cat’s past history of being scared of bathmats (seriously) and other inanimate objects the entire act is faintly ridiculous, like:

I mean give me a break, cat

Cat still sleeps next to my pillow at night and I can almost feel the waves of superiority coming off of her body as she bores little stare-holes into the dog’s place down on the floor. Neener.

• Slipped in dog-slop water like fifty times. We have her food and water bowl in the kitchen where there are wood floors, which means every time she drinks (BLORT SLORP BLOP MLORP) water gets everywhere and yikes, someone’s eventually going to break a hip.

• Given this dog EIGHT MILLION SNOOGLES. And smoothed her ears back in order to say, idiotically, “Who looks like a seal? YOU do! YOU look like a seal!” And repeatedly chanted with the boys to the tune of the Spider-Man theme, “Ruby dog, Ruby dog, doin’ everything a Ruby dog can. Can she snout? On your leg? Yes she can, she’s a dog. LOOK OUT, here comes Ruuuuby dooooooog.” (Dog’s tail reaction: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM.)

• Been followed everywhere I go in the house, all day long. NOW what are you doing, her face says, and I’m like, uh sorry just going to the bathroom, and she’s like I WILL WAIT OUTSIDE THE DOOR. I WILL WAIT FOREVER IF I HAVE TO. Jeez I love this dog so much already.

family slurp


53 Responses to “Felled by a snout”

  1. Andrea on August 1st, 2014 9:55 am

    That’s so awesome. We have a 12 year old yellow lab / newfie mix, and everything you described is exactly what our dog does. They would wait outside a door for forever, just to make sure you’re safe, and to ensure they will see you again.

    How are the boys liking her? Are they excited to have another dog?

  2. Elaine on August 1st, 2014 10:13 am

    If you have not read it before, you must read “I has a sweet potato.” When we would talk about our corgi Fred, we would often say “clearly, he has not been fed. Ever.” What sweet pics of Ruby and your family.

  3. Ginger on August 1st, 2014 11:10 am

    Oh man, what a sweet face she has. Also, the begging face (we have a lab/border collie mix. I see this face…a lot).

  4. Michelle R. on August 1st, 2014 11:10 am

    I think you found the perfect dog for your family! Long awaited and well worth it!

  5. Jess on August 1st, 2014 12:04 pm

    We also have our dog’s water dish on wood floors and it was a huge pain until we finally found a mat (I can’t find a link, I think we got it at PetSmart?), like a hard plastic/rubber one with raised edges that goes under it. That contains all of the spills other than when the baby crawls over the bowl when my back is turned and pounds her hands exuberantly in the water. But that’s a different issue, and overall we’re all slipping and nearly breaking our hips much less often since we got the mat.

  6. Caleal on August 1st, 2014 12:18 pm

    I have one dog who’s a super messy drinker. The mats help but don’t expect them to kill the problem entirely. But mine might be a special case. He sort of trails water behind him.

    I also have a cat with my two dogs (lab mix and Australian shepherd mix, so pretty big). It was rocky in the beginning and made me super nervous. They evened out though. Cat mad at dog is better than dog at cat- I definitely thought my lab was going to eat her in the beginning. Much better to just laugh at the cat that thinks it’s a killer.

    Ruby is so frickin cute. I’m glad she’s working out so well!!

  7. Maggie on August 1st, 2014 12:51 pm

    Ah man this post makes me want to run out of work, rush home, and snuggle our Lab. Best dogs.

  8. Jan Ross on August 1st, 2014 2:14 pm

    OMG “skirt snouted”! I’m still laughing. You invented a word!

  9. Jen on August 1st, 2014 2:48 pm

    This makes me happy! All of it.

  10. Brenda on August 1st, 2014 3:00 pm

    Well, by the look of that photo clearly everyone else in your family is underwhelmed with Ruby :) She is gorgeous. One of my cats is a dick to the dog as well, even though the dog was here first. It is the way of the cat, I guess.

  11. bj on August 1st, 2014 3:13 pm

    Aaaaw. I don’t even like dogs, but this post made me smile and tear up. So glad you are enjoying your new family member and that she’s enjoying you.

  12. #6 on August 1st, 2014 3:53 pm

    A dog without a theme song is just an ordinary animal…

  13. Erin on August 1st, 2014 4:29 pm

    We have a one-year-old lab, and we LOOOOOVE him so much. Even my kiddo who was a dog hater before. For labs, the “bring it” command is pretty essential to avoid obstruction surgery. Basically, I’ll exchange whatever’s in your mouth for a treat at any time. Sock, hair scrunchie, Lego guy, flip-flop. Bring it to me and TREAT! It works like a charm with our lab. This video was helpful as I started training (and no, I’m not related to this video in any way!): Enjoy your beautiful Ruby!!

  14. Jo on August 1st, 2014 6:04 pm

    We have these water bowls & they have CONSIDERABLY cut down on the water mess. Seriously. I recommend them. Amazon says they’re out, but you could prob find them somewhere else. The dogs had no trouble figuring out how to use them too.

  15. Courtney on August 1st, 2014 7:41 pm

    I love the phrase “skirt snouted.” Lol- it’s totally my experience at 5:30pm every day when I walk in the door. A sort of “how was your day!?”

    Our golden retriever also has a theme song. I find it to be a crucial component of dog ownership.

  16. JoAnna on August 1st, 2014 8:02 pm

    Awwww, she is the perfect dog for your family!

  17. Kimberlie Clairmont on August 1st, 2014 8:16 pm

    Well now not only do I want a dog like Ruby LIKE RIGHT NOW, I am also wiping my eyes from laughing so hard, I started crying.The kind of crying where you are laughing and touched and all kinds of emotions all at once. With real tears streaming down your face while your nose is running. Uggghh… embarrassing, so glad no one is home to see. I am happy to hear you found an awesome addition to your family! The cat will get over it but in the meantime, it sounds like some good entertainment watching the two interact.

  18. Liz on August 2nd, 2014 5:41 am

    My boyfriend’s dog usually makes a big mess so he keeps the food and water bowls on one of those winter boot trays- works pretty well!

  19. Carrie (in MN) on August 2nd, 2014 6:09 am

    Ruby is a beauty and sounds perfect for you guys. I’ve been skirt snouted before (of course, I didn’t know that’s what it’s called) but I’ve stupidly allowed one of my golden retrievers to develop the habit of going between your legs to get even more whole-body attention. This has resulted in my dog squirming between the legs of innocent skirt-wearing women who just thought they were going to give my dog a quick pat. Not good!

  20. Angella on August 2nd, 2014 10:52 am

    Oh, she sounds so awesome. Diesel is half Retriever and what is it with the food? And the TAIL. :)

    Happy for you guys!

  21. KeraLinnea on August 2nd, 2014 12:59 pm

    Ha, this could have been written about my golden! You would think she was starved of both food and affection to see her on our walks. If it has the remotest food aspect, she snatches it up and tries desperately to swallow it before I notice and yell “Drop it!!” If we encounter a neighbor, she is all up in their grill, whole body wagging as they pet her. One of my elderly neighbors looked up from this display at me, his eyes twinkling and said dryly “Aww, does no one at home ever pet this poor dog?” I had to laugh and agree, yeah, it sure seems like she’s ignored at home. (SHE’S NOT, OMG, MOST PAMPERED AND ADORED DOG EVER!)

    It sounds like you guys hit the doggie jackpot in Ruby. I’m so happy for you, and how great that she comes from the same breeder as Dog. That’s a nice little nod from the universe, isn’t it?

  22. Erin on August 2nd, 2014 3:03 pm

    Love these pictures! Our sweet 9 yr old chocolate lab Tango died last summer, and this post brought back so many memories. Enjoy your darling girl. I hope she brings many years of happiness to your sweet family.

  23. Mary on August 2nd, 2014 5:26 pm

    My lab mix won’t even wait outside the bathroom. He has to be in there because he might miss something. Most often, he backs in so I can give him a nice back scratch while I am doing my business.

    Also, my cat is definitely the boss of the animal kingdom in my home. I think the dog just does not care enough to try to wrest control away.

    Love the pictures!

  24. Maureen on August 2nd, 2014 6:01 pm

    I thought for sure her theme song would be “Oh, RUBBBYYY-don’t take your love to town!”. Or some dog specific version of that :)

    She is a real sweetie! So glad you all found each other!

  25. Christine on August 2nd, 2014 7:17 pm

    She may be one of the cutest dogs I’ve ever seen. Ever.

    Also, we sing Ninja-cat to our cat, Ninja (never saw that one coming, did ya?) Ninja cat, Ninja cat. Does whatever a ninja cat does. Can he swing in a web? No he can’t, he’s a cat. Watch out! Here comes a ninja cat. (My sisters version is, “he’s so cute and a little fat.” So obviously the derp is genetic.)

  26. Cheryl S. on August 4th, 2014 8:06 am

    1. Regular elastic hair ties will come out of the dog in the same shape they went in. Trust me.

    2. We had to put the dog’s water bowl outside. He drinks from the bottom up, so we’d kill ourselves otherwise. You can get a water thing that hangs on their crate. It looks like an oversized hamster water thing. Works well and stops the crazy mess.

  27. dorrie on August 4th, 2014 11:03 am

    Neener. LOL
    LOL=Love our lab

  28. Mandy on August 4th, 2014 12:05 pm

    AAAAH, the happiness in that last photo! I died.

  29. H on August 5th, 2014 3:21 pm

    Our lab/pointer mix is the same. She reminds me so much of our beloved Buster. I’m glad you have her and love her so much!

  30. Janet on August 6th, 2014 3:24 pm

    Ahhh she’s lovely! Such a great photo!

  31. Anonymous on August 17th, 2014 5:51 am

    One word: BEAUTIFUL

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