July 8, 2006

Here are some things I learned over the last week:

• It’s probably not necessary to pack every single article of clothing the boy owns for a weeklong trip. I mean, the snow parka? The novelty letterman jacket? The “I (Heart) Daddy” onesie that hasn’t fit in three months? WTF, self.
• However, next time: Bring. More. Diapers. “Bob’s Market” does NOT carry Stage 3 Cruisers.
• A suitcase full of hot-weather clothing is a sorrowful thing on a cool, rainy day. Especially when there are several cool, rainy days in a row.
• If you can’t count worth a damn, it’s kind of embarrassing to have someone try and teach you how to play cribbage.
• Cherry juice will stain the everlasting shit out of your favorite Unionbay capri pants.

Hi! I missed you. Are you doing something different with your ass? Because it looks fabulous. I’m just saying.

We’re back from Oregon, and man am I glad to be home, because home is where the 1) heart, 2) king-sized bed, and 3) 2-ply toilet paper is. We did have a great time, though – so onward! To the photos!

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JB and Riley, hanging out in JB’s brother’s backyard in Eugene. That there would be the fence, from the Manly Weekend of Fence Building. Do you smell the testosterone? Mmmm, bacony.

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This is JB’s brother’s bunny rabbit. (Well now, that took the manliness down a notch.) When Joe rubs its head, it freezes on its back, legs all stiff and unmoving. I never thought a rabbit would be a interesting pet until I saw this. I’m sure it’s in some terror-provoked state, probably caused by some primal urge to escape detection from predators, but hey – frozen rabbit. Cool.

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When did my baby all of a sudden turn into some kind of little boy?

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I bought this floatie deal for Riley not having any idea how he could react to being in water. Turns out he loooooves it.

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I think he could have spent the whole day in the river, really.

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JB was extremely proud. “He’s a waterdog like his dad,” he kept saying. I was just glad Riley didn’t seem to have inherited my deep fear of both algae and fish.

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Speaking of waterdogs, Dog had a wonderful time. Dog heaven!

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JB and his brother put on their annual display of illegally obtained fireworks, which to my great amazement did not wake up Riley, although later the sound of us quietly opening a door did.

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Now, this? Is a bear. A fucking HUGE ASS bear that was, like, INCHES from me.

Seriously. Inches.

OKAY FINE, it was kind of more like feet. Or, well, yards.

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But if that thing had been several hundred feet closer, and we had not been driving JB’s truck, and…uh, it was pissed? Or something? Things could have gotten OUT OF HAND.

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A neighbor let us visit his enormous Sunset-magazine-worthy garden and pick the most outstandingly good cherries I’ve ever had the privilege of eating. My god, they were good.

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So. Good.

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This is a view of the Umpqua and surrounding hills. Pretty part of the world, don’t you think?

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The family, walking a country road near the cabin.

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Foxgloves and fog.

:::

Thanks for all those comments on the last entry, by the way. You guys are awesome and interesting and very cool, even if some of you are a teeny, tiny bit weird, what with your inexplicable hatred of melons (…oh, you just haven’t had a good honeydew) and all.

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Jem
Jem
15 years ago

Riley is HUGE! Are you sure you didn’t just photoshop his head onto a bigger body? He has such long legs!

That bunny rabbit is ADORABLE.

Chloe
15 years ago

Everything looks beautiful, the scenery is amazing, and Riley is growing up to be such a big boy! Yes he iiis!

But, okay. Do you want to know the absolute worse thing about melon?

Are you ready for this? Cause I’m not sure you are.
.
.
.
This may blow your mind.

IT TASTES LIKE MELON.

Melon is gross. Especially honeydew. I do like watermelon *flavored* things, but not watermelon. Don’t even get me started on cantaloupe– no redeeming characteristics whatsoever.

Still… I guess someone has to eat all that melon. Can’t just let it rot, it’d be a waste. Better you than me!

Hot Mommy
15 years ago

Glad to see your back, I miss the witty interludes.

Mona
15 years ago

Those cherries are making me drool! I would deal with some stains to get a piece of that deliciousness. And where did you get that aqua-floatie-doo-hickey?

Robin
Robin
15 years ago

Welcome back! We missed you. The photos are gorgeous, makes me miss the mountains! I’m jealous. I was just looking at my son over the weekend and thought the same thing, about him being a little boy now. It’s so sad, but exciting. It’s so cliche, but it does goes so fast.

Emily
15 years ago

Fucking awesome pictures! I tried to take some artsy-fartsy scenic pictures over the Fourth, but they came out all drunk-y. Apparently I need a tripod after a few hours of rum.

ElizabethZ
ElizabethZ
15 years ago

What a comeback post – welcome back – missed reading you. Beautiful pics as always – looks like a great trip. Riley is getting so big and you’re right – that pic makes him look much older all of a sudden. My boys just turned 6 months and they are getting so so fun. I just did a cool birth story for their 6 month tribute – I know – very late – but I am quite proud of it. Anyway – you are my writing inspiration. Thanks for bringing a bit of your world and a some much needed smiles to all who read you.

ElizabethZ
ElizabethZ
15 years ago

oops -a

Jo
Jo
15 years ago

i have tasted honeydew melon, and lots of other kinds (never let it be said i don’t have informed opinions, heaven forfend) – bleuch! to all of them, especially watermelon, oh Lordy that stuff just isn’t right.

wonderful pictures, as always!

thejunebug
15 years ago

Now that’s just odd. I have a sister and a brother in Eugene. I’m taking my hubs out there next year so he can meet them, and I’m showing him your vacation pics to get him excited about the trip. :) Except I’m skipping the one with the bear.

meegan
15 years ago

i picked cherries too for the first time last weekend. so fun and soo delish.
gorgeous part of the country. makes me long for a week away.

Keri
15 years ago

Beautiful pics, even the bear one! ;) Here’s a tip to get rid of the cherry juice stain: mix one part hydrogen peroxide with one part laundry soap (any kind, although I use 7th Generation) and soak stain with this mixture. Poof! It will disappear! Works great for wine stains, too. =D

Lesley
Lesley
15 years ago

I was surprised not to see a photo of Dog holding on to Riley’s floaty thing…they’re a match made in heaven. Some day soon, I expect, we’ll see photos of Dog and Riley swimming together. Later on, Riley may be scuba diving with Dad.

JennB
15 years ago

Welcome home!
Love the bear shot.
Haven’t posted to my blog in about forever. Had to pry the child away from Lake Champlain this weekend. It was fun and hot and now I have to go to work tomorrow. Boo.

gdstone04
15 years ago

I have absolutely NEVER posted in anything like this, so you are my *first*, teeheehee. Anyway, I have been spending WAYYYY too much time ignoring my kids catching up on your old entries (man, I just realized how pathetic that sounds) and a theme that I have noticed is your complaining about the toilet paper–dude, just take your own. It’s what I have to do for my OH SO SENSITIVE rear end.

Amy
Amy
15 years ago

Great photos. I bet Cat would LOVE a pet bunny rabbit. Hee. I am jealous of your beautiful vacation with all it’s cherry goodness.

jouette
15 years ago

I.Love.Your.Blog.
Glad you had a great vacation, that top pic of your man and your boy…
priceless.

jonniker
15 years ago

Missed you! Loved re-reading the pregnancy diaries, of course :-D

Oh man, the toilet paper. The topic is a subject of a future rant of mine. I actually had my sister tell me during a visit to our house, home of the Charmin fluffy toilet paper that actually CUSHIONS your naughty bits, that we “spend way too much on toilet paper.”

Honestly, you can never spend too much on toilet paper. Ever.

justmouse
justmouse
15 years ago

just a tidbit of useless info….that thing with the bunny is called “trancing”. you can do that with just about any rabbit. that’s the only way i could ever cut my rabbit’s nails – by trancing her. it doesn’t hurt them, and they seem totally unaware when they are like that. i have no idea why they do it though.

Kari
Kari
15 years ago

My Starla LOVED the fireworks. I was more scared than she was. She just sat and stared and smiled. So sweet. :D

Leah
15 years ago

Welcome back! So many things to comment on, but I’ll stick to:

1. Our pet rabbit went into a hypnotic trance when we rubbed her forehead too. We learned this trick from another friend with a rabbit. If only the Knights knew about that…

2. Cherries = To die for. Gah.

3. When I learned to play cribbage, I contemplated using an abacus for assistance, but when I realized that would be just another thing to learn, I decided I should just learn to count to fifteen already. Le sigh. Life is hard.

Aimee
15 years ago

Gorgeous photos! So glad you’re back! We have a pet rabbit and she is an awesome pet – glad to know JB’s brother feels the same. Where did you get Riley’s floaty thingy? I need one!

Kaire
Kaire
15 years ago

Your pictures make me long to go back out there. *sigh* As my dad’s family keeps getting smaller and the relatives I know are fewer, I don’t know that I ever will make it back :(

wealhtheow
wealhtheow
15 years ago

Oh my god you are making me homesick! Good thing I’m going back to the PN in a month. Awesome photos–and why yes, I do think my ass is looking fabulous! Thanks for noticing! :)

Ang
Ang
15 years ago

Fabulous pictures. Glad to hear you had a great time!

Jenine
Jenine
15 years ago

Mmm cherries…

Two burning questions are in my mind:

How do you pronounce Umqua?

How is the trying not to swear thing going? My vocabulary has been pure as the driven snow (I have a 2 y.o. and a 4 y.o.) until this past weekend during which I cussed vividly. I blame my cat.

victoria
victoria
15 years ago

Hilarious, lovely, charming entry, thank you!

angela
angela
15 years ago

Squeeeee! What a cute bunny! I have a pet bunny too, and I’m here to attest that they are awesome pets – they’re just more subtle than most, but they totally have personalities and attitudes and everything. My personal pet bunny is usually set to “cranky.” She’s so awesome. Everyone who meets her says “I want a pet bunny” at some point. Bunny Love 4eva! Oh, and we can never get her to do the trance thing, but it is cute as hell and I’m jealous of other rabbit owners that can do it.

Adorable Riley, as well! I can’t believe how big he’s getting. Awww.

Oh, and wanted to voice my agreement on the vileness of melons. Fuckin gross. The worst is when you get a fruit salad and it’s like 900 pieces of melon and one sad little grape. Hate you, melon salad.

telegirl
telegirl
15 years ago

Hey! Welcome back! I don’t have a little one yet and I still want to know where you got the floaty thing. :o)

Regarding Kerri’s comment about how to get the stain out? It totally works. Even with red wine on white carpet. I first heard that trick on “Queer Eye” only they suggest using dish soap, but both should work!

To Jenine: Umpqua is pronounced UMP-kwah, with the “a” sounding like the a in the word “quality”. PNW is full of fun-to-pronounce words like Issaquah, Umatilla and Puyallup. For more pronunciations, click here.

telegirl
telegirl
15 years ago

OK. Just read Sundry’s blog at ClubMom. Apparently, Amazon is the best place to buy almost anything including the Baby & Me Boat.

Orelinde
Orelinde
15 years ago

Beautiful pictures!

Katie
Katie
15 years ago

You are a wonderful photographer! What kind of camera are you using? I’m in the market, as it were.

Bears? Shit. I thought Iwas planning to escape them by moving out of Alaska, but apparently not.

Dana
Dana
15 years ago

Hey, look at that–other people who hate melon!! I thought I was the only one. In fact, people who don’t hate melon try to make you feel like you’re the only one who does. They hate you for hating the melon! Haters!

To whoever said that canteloupe has no redeeming qualities–I hear ya! I can’t even be in the same room as a cut, room-temperature canteloupe. The smell will kill me!!!!!! I had a co-worker who used to eat half her melon in the morning and leave other half in the company kitchen on the counter for lunch. I asked her twice to not do that, suggesting that she keep it in the fridge or in a small container on the counter, and she refused, so I threw the fucker away everday for a week and she finally stopped bringing them in. Idiot.

Lesley
Lesley
15 years ago

You should submit the photo of the rabbit to cuteoverload.com.

Beth
Beth
15 years ago

I can’t beleive none of the other new moms out there posted this: YOU WORE A FUCKING SWIMSUIT!?! YOU ROCK! *ahem* Pardon the vulgarity, but I am just so moved by your bravery in the post baby, what-the-hell-happened-to my-body/willpower world. I have to hit the lake when my baby brother bring his kids out East next week to meet my 12 month old. Where should I look for a sexy yet illusionary suit, oh brave one?

Mel
Mel
15 years ago

Thank you very much for describing the pictures. It sounds like you had a great time!

mrsgryphon
mrsgryphon
15 years ago

What a lovely vacation! I, too, just returned from a week away where I packed far too many ‘summer’ clothes and only one pair of pants for Jellybean. Oops. Never trust the Weather Channel.

This may seem an odd question… but what brand is your Riley backpack? I need to get one soon for the Bean, and yours looks comfy and a heck of a lot smaller than the metal frame ones that seem to be all I can find!

Allan Templeton
15 years ago

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