• Previous posts

  • Aging is for the weak, and everyone else
  • More short cuts
  • Smol Ketchups
  • What’s the opposite of green juice and deep breathing
  • Living through it all online
  • The Change
  • 18
  • Ok but ALSO:
  • Midlife POV
  • Influence and Dooce
  • Horse therapy
  • You can’t go home again
  • Obsolescence
  • Before and after
  • A cringe confession on friendship

Archives from 2002-2006

August 21, 2006

When I wrote about the powdery mineral miracle makeup, I received an email that asked if I would consider posting before and after photos of myself. Ha ha HAAAA, I thought. Yeah, right.

Then I changed my mind, because what the hell. It’s not like you haven’t seen my naked belly (Built by Mint Milanos®), and that’s a scarier sight than my unmade face.

OR IS IT?

Okay, we’ve got eye circles, blotchy redness, and a retarded expression. Let’s see what the makeup can do.

Well! I still look like a dork (I am not lying when I tell you I took 482506 photos and those two are the “best” of the bunch), and my hair is painfully in need of highlighting and, my god, maybe a hot oil treatment or ten? – but the overall face-tone has improved, has it not? I tried to get two photos that used the same angle and lighting, although the “before” shot was taken early this morning and the “after” was taken yesterday evening, so there are some differences. The only things I changed digitally were to crop the images and sharpen a bit.

So there you go, a real-life comparison of the makeup (which I swear I am not being paid to shill). Obviously I am not magically transformed into a dewy-skinned Natalie Portman by wearing it, but it does a nice job of providing even coverage while feeling practically invisible. I don’t care if this crap does have an infomercial, I still love it.

P.S. As you can see, I’m a chronic eyebrow-over-plucker. How does one break this habit? I’d love to be one of those people with perfectly groomed, waxed eyebrows, but doesn’t that require you to let them grow out for like, weeks on end? I honestly don’t think I could do it. Just the thought makes me grab for the Tweezerman.

August 20, 2006

Photos from the weekend (ie, the CheaterPants Journal Entry):

Driving to Alki Beach on Saturday. Not shown: the boy ripping apart and partially devouring the “One Step Ahead” baby catalogue I gave him as a distraction.

Clapping! He claps when we do, and imitates us if we make “Indian war cries” at him (you know, when you bounce your hand over your mouth so it makes a boo-boo-boo-boo sound? Does that noise have a name? Or how about when you run one finger up and down over your lips so it sounds like puh-buh-buh-buh-puh-buh-buh? He does that too).

The boys at Alki.

And again.

I buzz-cut Riley this weekend, mostly to correct the mistakes I made last time.

It’s a little, um, short. He looks like a Q-tip (a cute-tip! HA HA HA), but hopefully it will grow out evenly now.

Also, he’s developed a rather stylish bottle-consumption maneuver.

I don’t know what I fear more, him standing there like some kind of boy who is very, very close to running all over the house like a spider monkey, or the fact that I actually provided him with the spoon-and-pot drum combo on purpose. I am foolish and my days are numbered.

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