November 6, 2006

Riley seems to have entered a new and charming stage of toddlerdom that involves lots and lots of whining. Whining, crabbing, and spiraling rapidly downward into complete and utter meltdowns when he can’t get his way.

Example: he has this toy car thing he walks behind and pushes. Lately, as he’s pushing it around the living room, if he comes up against an immovable object he stands there turning bright red and making this horrible noise that sounds as though a woodchuck – or, I don’t know, a beaver? – is being violently crammed into a sausage machine, producing some kind of…beaver…sausage…anyway, it’s a fucking obnoxious sound is my point, and then he usually bursts into frustrated sobs, staggers around blindly in his unending sorrow, and likely as not he then hits his head on something because tantrums = clumsy and hoo boy, that’s when he REALLY gets going.

Other things that seem to really, really piss him off: diaper changes, clothing changes, changes in number of oxygen molecules per square inch (some things we have to guess at), food that displeases him (don’t go thinking that just because waffles worked in the morning, they’re going to work later in the day because NEIN!), being put down, being picked up, having one of us walk out of the room, having the remote pried out of his grip, naps, bedtime, and the election process.

I thought dealing with a small baby was trying, patience-wise. Oh, those were the salad days compared to the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Very Bad Toddler he can be now. I never thought I’d tell my 14 month old to shut the hell up, but uhh….I’ve said it more than once lately, usually hissed (lovingly) over my shoulder while my fingers grip the steering wheel hard enough for my metacarpals to burst out of my skin and I stare at a sea of red lights that won’t get OUT OF MY WAY don’t they know I have a CRANKY-ASS TODDLER who is jacking his whine up to ELEVEN for the love of CHRIST my head is going to explode just like in SCANNERS.

I read an article recently about a mother whose 18-month-old ended up using a braid of hair from a wig as his “lovey” (the thing they drag around everywhere, like Linus and his blanket) after a long, stressful car trip where she laid her head in his lap to comfort him and he got all attached to her hair.

Okay, if I put my head in Riley’s lap while he was in one of his Moods, I might not get it back. I’d definitely have to sacrifice any eyeball or something. When he’s tantruming neither JB nor I can comfort him with affection, that is absolutely not what he wants. If you give him a toy he’ll throw it. If you offer him food he’ll smack it away. If you pick him up you better use your go-go-Gadget arms because he’ll squirm and shove and go all boneless-chicken-limp to get down where he can more properly collapse in a heap and scream.

That article made me kind of sad, because I wish he could take comfort from me like that when he’s upset. I wish he felt like Mama makes it all better, instead of viewing me as yet another tortuous annoyance that must be shoved aside because OMG GET OUT OF MY FACE MOM.

Isn’t he a little young to be rejecting me? I expected this in his teen years but come ON. And if this is what we’re dealing with at 14 months, just what do those Terrible Twos have in store? Jesus.

I don’t want to make it sound like it’s all just one neverending parenting nightmare right now, so let me also say that he is getting more and more fun, more delightful. He reads books with us and says “duck” and laughs with joy when we roll his truck back and forth with him. Last night I gave him a Quaker Oats container and he was over the moon, walking around banging on it and putting plastic keys inside it and shaking it and just basically going batshit with happiness. He is insanely curious and makes these soft whispering “teh teh teh” noises when he finds something new to explore. He still calls shoes “ba ba” but will bring them to me when I ask him to, a mini butler jolting his way towards me on stiff zombie legs.

But oh, I can’t lie, it’s also hard, hard, hard. I’ve never known someone who can infuriate me so and yet who holds my heart in their tiny starfish hand.

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angela
angela
15 years ago

i’m sorry, i have nothing to offer in the parenting department (except that my BF, a father of 3, once told me that “the terrible two’s” is just a phase kids go through when the come to realize that not everything is in their control and they are just starting to comprehend rules and such; who knows if that’s even true though), but BEAVER SAUSAGE made me laugh and laugh.

Mama Ritchie
15 years ago

Ugh – he’s advanced – reaching the terrible twos early. My kid did that too. Luckily, it lasted for short spurts, and usually coincided with a big ugly molar comin in. Best thing I did during one of his meltdowns – left him alone. I walked out of the room. He was so confused he shut up and went to find me. When he did, he started wailing again, smacking the shit out of his head against the wall. So I left again. It turned into a game and he ended up hysterically laughing. Try it. It’s fun!

Elisette
15 years ago

Er, yeah. Am there now. Except I get clutching of my shirt/pants/hair and smacking at me when I do not do as he wishes. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Rumblelizard
Rumblelizard
15 years ago

Beaver fixation! Quick, someone send in the deprogramming team! :D

justmouse
justmouse
15 years ago

oh yesssss…i remember those days. admittedly my son wasn’t quite as…passionate, shall we say, as your RIley sounds to be when he has an “issue”, but he had his days! i found that turning the volume on the radio up REALLY REALLY loud worked. actually, i don’t know if it shut him up at all, because i just couldn’t hear him anymore, but i think that after a while he just stopped trying to compete wiht the radio and just shut. the. hell. up. and at home..if he did that and the usual ‘tricks’ didn’t work and he was just really really SURE he wanted to be a giant whining ASS, then i just left the room. he can be a whining ass all on his own. have patients. this won’t last. and before you know it you’ll forget all about it until you read about it in someone elses blog. ;)

fifi
fifi
15 years ago

It gets better. On occasions. Until he can talk, having inchoate rages is the only way to get adults to understand how pissed he is. Once he is in his teens, you will have new reasons to be sad and puzzled by his reaction to the world, you just won’t have half the energy you do now. So, take comfort, in the bits that are better. Life is a collection of moments, and I think you know how to savour the good ones.

Scott
15 years ago

[sigh] Yes, I know that feeling well. Sofia is all up on the tantrum tip these days. Her favorite tantrum routine lately is where she does the splits while making a horribly sour face and then sinks to her knees and puts her head on the floor while crying. Really? You’re that upset because we’re out of crackers? Imagine how you’re going to feel when I forbid you to go to the Justin Timberlake, Jr. concert. (SEXYBACK CLASSICS TOUR 2015)

The part of it that (ruefully) cracks me up is that usually she has absolutely no idea what it is she wants, only that she can’t have it. Most of the time she doesn’t really even want it. We could have a giant flaming porcupine in our living room, and the porcupine has rabies and is waving two switchblades, and we would say, “No, no, Sofia, the porcupine will burn you, and also give you rabies and cut you up real good,” and she would throw a fit. She would do the splits, and then sink to the floor, and then roll around, all the while emitting those choking, silent sobs that bespeak a hideous injustice.

Half the time I want to reason with her and explain why we are forbidding her this new plaything, but she clearly just doesn’t understand. The other half of the time I want to just let her go do it so she can figure out that it’s a bad idea, but my parental instincts stop me short. Somehow I don’t like the thought of showing up at day care with a slightly singed toddler bearing puncture wounds *and* lacerations, and also rabies. That kind of thing doesn’t play well in the monthly newsletter.

Jane
15 years ago

The wig-braid thing is just weird. I don’t think you really want that.

Vicki
Vicki
15 years ago

At least he’s not slamming his little head back onto the floor (or cement path from the house to the garage) because he’s unhappy about something, anything.

Meg
Meg
15 years ago

I have been there. Not with my own kid, but the kid I nannied for was a lot like that. I don’t know if Riley does this, but this kid would also, upon getting upset, throw himself backwards full force, slamming his head onto the wooden floor and then scream louder than any kid I’ve ever heard before (or since) in my life. It was really hard. I tried offering comfort to him, too, which he didn’t want – he’d just smack things away, screaming louder. Finally I realized that walking away from him was what was best for me and for him. He’d follow me, sobbing, though. It was just terribly difficult to deal with, so I sympathize!

I think once Riley learns more words and communication is easier for him, the tantrums will lessen. Hang in there, find what coping mechanism works for you, and go with it. Don’t worry – he’s not rejecting you, per se. I think Riley just doesn’t know WHAT he wants, so gets frustrated with life in general. Which, is always hard, because you’re like, “It’s a bookcase, just go around, it’s not that big of a — okaaayyy, apparently it IS.” Don’t worry; Riley will be affectionate, and giving hugs and kisses and loving on his parents again before too long.

Alissa
15 years ago

You said starfish hand! I thought I was the only one that thought my babies’ hands looked like little starfish–even my DH said I was crazy.

Delurking just to let you know you made my day.

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

What worked for me (four kids) is to ignore them. Granted this seems to be much harder for a mother to do than a father. Probably because we already have a pretty well tuned ‘wife’ filter already in place. ;-) I am a firm believer of you get the behavior you reward. When my kids they were younger if they decided to act like an ass I would put them in the play pen. When they were a little older I would ‘send’ them to their room. They found out pretty quick I didn’t reinforce there ‘bad’ behavior but I would reward the ‘good’ behavior. Now their mother on the other hand…. That’s the hard part of presenting a ‘unified’ front when you differ on how to deal with kids who are doing nothing more than being kids (searching for boundaries).

warcrygirl
15 years ago

When the Terrible Twos hit it’s the same thing only with words! Look, if Riley thinks he doesn’t want Mama then fine; when he has his tantrum just walk away from him until he calms down. He’ll either realize “hey, wait…I DO want Mama!” or he’ll continue on and you don’t have to get caught in the meltdown. Once he realizes a tantrum won’t get him whatever reaction he’s looking for he’ll calm down.

At least I hope he will, it worked with The Captain but not with Jr. Good luck!

Sara
15 years ago

Oh, I am so with you. Well said…and good luck! (How the hell do they do that limp body thing? It’s an amazing defense mechanism.)

Marie
Marie
15 years ago

My sister has 15-month-old twins, and they are now BOTH having tantrums (at first only one of them was doing this). I agree that your best bet is to ignore it. It seems like at that age they are just trying to figure out what they can do to get what they want. If they learn that THAT is what they can do to get what they want, then they will just keep doing it more and more. Hopefully if you wait it out it will eventually stop. Good luck!

jen
jen
15 years ago

kids= super hard work. get used to it. if you lucky he’ll be out of the house in 17 years, then again he’ll probably be back again four years after college. ;p

ps. what did you do with your pomegranate? i always want to buy one but i dont have a clue as to how one would eat one, nor do i feel like googling it. ;p

Tammy
Tammy
15 years ago

Don’t hate me for this suggestion, but this item was a lifesaver for us! My son (now 8.5) HATED riding in the car. We kept this toy (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=230039470807&ssPageName=MERCOSI_VI_ROSI_PR4_PCN_BIX&refitem=260046976541&itemcount=4&refwidgetloc=closed_view_item&refwidgettype=osi_widget) in the car for him and he loved it. He was only allowed to play with it in the car so it became a special treat for him. And, because of the lights, he could play with it at night. There are no instructions but the kids learn the patterns. We could ask James to find the chicken and he would. It was so cool. About the tantrums, I don’t have any advice except for this mantra: “This too, shall pass”. Good luck!

Liz
Liz
15 years ago

We’re handling Lilia’s tantrums (13 months old) by gently laughing at her. She’s usually throwing a fit because we’ve taken the remote from her or prevented her from drinking old, stale Pepsi One from the can. If we’re holding her then she flings her hands in the air and throws her head back, screaming. It’s very pitiful and also hilarious. She has fallen asleep in this position. Her other tantrum is similar to Sofia’s above. She is in the pit of despair and has lost the strength to hold her head up. She folds herself in half, puts her face on the floor and cries. This fit is more woeful than angry.

Anyway, our tricks to get her out of it are: laughing (as mentioned above) because sometimes she starts laughing with us; giving her an empty water bottle or a cell phone (favorite toys); or putting her on her push toy, which she loves. She doesn’t seem as spirited as Riley, though, so YMMV. :)

Melanie
15 years ago

I know how you feel – mine’s 4 and he’s going through an awful tantrumy period. Luckily, though, he can talk so it makes it easier. The best advice I can offer is to get away if you can – just leave the room while he screams and he’ll calm himself down. Get a sitter (well, I think you said you don’t have one, but daycare works, too) and take the afternoon off to be childless. As they say, this too shall pass – they really aren’t monsters permanently, it’s all a phase. I hope his ends soon (mine, too)!

Mary
15 years ago

With all three of mine, I found that 18 months was far, far worse than two. I have specific, horrible memories that occurred when they were each 18 months old, and really two wasn’t that bad. Hang in there, you’re closer to a better spot than you think.

Kimberly
Kimberly
15 years ago

I’ve been having baby fever lately, since my girl is almost five. I just read your post and now want to hide my female parts. My kid went through some horrific fits that still make me want to run to Mexico where nobody can find me. She went through them for a long time and then just quit. I have lived to tell the story and so will you.

Kristin
Kristin
15 years ago

Nolan is there too. He had time out for pulling hair today. He bawled like a purple faced centarian the entire hour drive home from daycare. It IS hard. So hard.

Danielle
15 years ago

I’m in the same boat with you – my 23 month old really gives me a run for my money lately. AND I am expecting boy #2 in Feb. I pretty much ignore the tantrums, hoping that he realizes it does not get my attention and therefore will stop (this has yet to happen, but I still ignore it) I also started putting him in “time-out” prob around 18 months – it took awhile for him to figure it out, but he now knows he doesn’t want to be there. Everyday is a new day, that is my mantra…it is SO hard sometimes, a lot of times, but we do it cause we love them so damn much! Hang in there, it will get better, right? :)

robin
15 years ago

Yep, right there with you. Mine kneels and puts his forehead to the ground ala woe is me. It seems to be when he is super frustrated. I hope it doesn’t last long.

Philos
15 years ago

this horrible noise that sounds as though a woodchuck – or, I don’t know, a beaver? – is being violently crammed into a sausage machine, producing some kind of…beaver…sausage…anyway,

This is awesome, as are you.

Riley’s probably still a bit too young to try startling him with a sudden loud “HEY!!” to snap him out of tantrum mode. That worked at least once with my friend’s three-year-old.

Donna
Donna
15 years ago

None of you people are cut out to be parents, and it’s obvious.
To be a good parent, you must be, deaf, dumb, blind, heartless, cold and cruel.
You say ignoring your child? I say what child?
You say they are being brats? I say la la la la la, I can’t hear you!
You say throwing themselves on the floor? I say, rugs are our friends and may keep you out of jail.
You say this too will pass? I say better get ready for the teenage years.
And porcupines with rabies? Classic.
Seriously, hang in there, and also seriously, do the la la la thing, you will feel better.

JB (a different one)
JB (a different one)
15 years ago

My 19-month-old daughter has taken to screaming when she’s frustrated. Ear-splitting shrieks from hell. And when you’re not quite three feet tall and have no hand-eye coordination and can’t reach the Goldfish and no one will let you put a banana in the DVD player, everything frustrates you. So we get a lot of screaming. However, her vocabulary has also exploded, and it’s already getting better; ignoring the shrieking helps, and so does acknowledging the frustration.

In the car is the worst, though. At that point I just sing Old McDonald Had a Rabid Porcupine through gritted teeth and pray for green lights.

jonniker
15 years ago

Ack, I don’t know what to say. Even with your hilarious commentary, it still sounds delightful. Baby fever, it’s set in.

samantha jo campen
15 years ago

Yeah, you guys have a beaver fetish going on or something. Huh.

Well, I have no advice to give or tales from the front lines. But I can tell you that you’re damn funny, and I love reading whatever it is you have to say.

kimblahg
15 years ago

1- i let lily use my hair as her lovey sometimes. i lay next to her on the floor (because my hair ain’t all that long) and let her play with it while she sucks her thumb. she literally has me wrapped around her finger.
2- the only thing that helped with my son at that stage was “use your words” since the frustration seemed to revolve around his inability to communicate. but really, that’s jut what they do at that age and it is our parents way of getting back at us.

Katie
15 years ago

I had the worst parenting day today and yet….somehow…I know it can get worse. I’m scared. Tantrums are this scary dark cloud on my horizon and I feel for you!!!!

mandy
15 years ago

I feel for you. My 10 month old is already showing the promising signs of fussy, tantrum-OMG behavior. You know, kicking, screaching and throwing her body backwards. It’s FUN. What happend to my sweet, passive, blobby baby?

Zoot
Zoot
15 years ago

My best friend’s daughter is 3 months younger than my son. When they were small, her daughter would throw tantrums and NOTHING would please her. Especially not Mamma. Whereas my son would calm at my presence every time. It really bothered her.

Now? My son is blazing saddles to grow up and get away from me, where her daughter follows her around constantly and they have these long in depth conversations and a really cool bond.

So – my point? It stresses you out now, but don’t look at is as a sign of things to come…and don’t worry – if I had a dollar for everytime I thought, “I NEED A GOD DAMN BREAK.” – I’d be rich.

Bridget
15 years ago

That is my little man to a T. I have not been able to resist trying to calm him when he gets upset and he has a habit of going for the hairline at my scalp during these episodes. I will take his little fists and pry them open to rescue my hair, but I now have frazzled bangs up front – a tuft of frayed short hairs that frame my face and make me look like – no matter how much time I took to put myself together that morning – I didn’t take enough time… Still, there is no one he looks for more when he DOES want comfort and that alone lets me look past the new hairdo. I know one of these days I’ll turn around and he won’t need me anymore – wanting me not to hug him because one of his friends might see or not to say anything or to drop him off blocks away from his destination so no one knows we are connected! :) He’s just pissed because he still needs you even when he doesn’t want to admit it. But – that’s the bottom line. He needs you! :)

Christine
Christine
15 years ago

It’s as if you were reading my mind when my daughter was that age.

That 14 month age to 2 years old was the worst. My husband and I used to joke that the “Terrible Two’s” started at 14 months for us. We literally could not take her out in public because she screamed like a banshee at the slightest change in wind direction. Throwing herself on the floor so hard she would bang her face which added a whole new level to the screaming and then refusing to let us touch her. I just had to come to grips with the fact that *I* was now THAT WOMAN in the supermarket with the toddler SCREAMING at the top of her lungs for the entire hour that it took to food shop. I just ignored the screaming and the dirty looks from other shoppers because if I didn’t just face the fact that there was nothing that I could do anyway, I would have driven my car into the first 18 Wheeler I encountered on the road. Seriously. All that to say, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Oh, and also, my husband and I made a pact to NOT discuss the possibility of other children until she was over two years old because we were not in a good place on that topic for almost a year.

ang
ang
15 years ago

Just laughing at this one. Not AT you, of course. I’m laughing with you. (of course, you’re not really laughing so…) My daughter is almost 9, but I can still remember the ‘early’ terrible twos. My recommendation?? Go buy some ear plugs and Forget about a peaceful trip to the grocery store for the next 12 to 18 months. Good Luck!!

Karen
Karen
15 years ago

My mother had a clever way of dealing with me and my siblings during tantrums…she use to set us in front of a mirror…Simple, but it worked.

Joanne
15 years ago

Do you read Dr. Spock? I know it’s Old School, but I love it. He has a (and it’s not just him that writes the book that’s out now, it’s another Doctor and there is “Classic Spock” advice throughout) great attitude about the “Terrific Twos” that I find really helps me. One of the things that he recommends is looking your child right in the eye and calmly telling him what you’re doing. Supernanny recommends this too and I swear it works a little. My son, I have no shame in admitting, is INSANE and no one has EVER seen such a crazy lunatic baby. I am kind of a lunatic too and dogs don’t have cats, as my mother is fond of telling me, so I figure you take what you take. But like my son used to freak out when I changed his diaper, squirming away, yelling and screaming. I started looking at him right in the eye (“Lookah eye”, we say doing our best Mr. Miagi, “always lookah eye”), and say look, Mommy is changing your diaper, it’s just going to take a second. I talk in a firm, confident voice (which is NOT how I’m feeling, it jangles the hell out of me, that screaming and squirming and, let’s face it, HATE) and he seems to react well to it. I don’t know that Riley would but my LONG WINDED point is if you haven’t read Spock, give it a whirl. And good luck. And don’t take it personally, what does he know? :)

JennB
JennB
15 years ago

Oh, man. You are so not alone. P has started doing the same thing, but amping it up. It’s usually about something stupid, like she wants her bear *here* not over *there* a whole 3 inches away. Or we’ve asked her to please stop playing in the pantry and bringing me shallots and knocking the empty beer bottles over. There’s a multitude of things that just set her baby-alarm off, and phew it’s exhausting. I’ve done a little shouting, myself.

One other thing that works – I like your mirror idea, Karen; I’ll be trying that tonight – is to distract the child and ask them to help you. I’ve read that toddlers are frustrated because they’re no longer a child not yet a woman (whoops, I mean they’re feeling left out of whatever activity is going on and they want to participate). Sometimes the crying stops with a suggestion as simple as “Hey, P, can you please come and help me close the dishwasher door” and she just trots right over and helps, then we praise her, then she’s happy again. It’s a lot like training a puppy, actually.

Leigha
Leigha
15 years ago

Bryan is 22 months, and yeah, he’s been doing the same sort of tantrums for a while. Our pediatrician said that it’s the “life’s unfair” stage, and it progresses until they can clearly communicate with their parents. Not that this explanation helps or anything.

There are days when I seriously consider boxing him up and shipping him somewhere far, far away for a while. The attitude has grown to proportions that I thought were impossible for a toddler; his favorite word is “NO”, he delights in running from us regardless of what we’re trying to do, and the diaper/clothing changes are my personal 7th circle of hell.

I hear what you’re saying about it not being bad all the time; Bryan’s cute and sweet and cuddly most of the time. There’s just something about the tantrums that can drag you down from any baby high in an instant.

sunShine
15 years ago

Amen!

Claudia
15 years ago

Yep, I have one of those living in my house, too. And she’s nearly 2 1/2 years old. Feisty, independent, intelligent, and an enormous pain in the ass. The throwing of objects really drives me up the wall because I’d like to advance her to a regular open cup but until she stops lobbing her sippy cups across the floor and denting the stove….nuh uh. At this rate, she might end up going to college with her sippy cup and toddler spoon collection. The spoons get thrown on the floor as she prefers to eat with her hands, which thankfully she can’t remove and throw. Which, would only work with the first one. What would she remove the second hand with? I’m sure she’d throw a gigantic fit over that and just gnaw it off with her teeth. She’s a joy.

Sundry
Sundry
15 years ago

God, I am SO glad to hear from you guys about this. It makes such a huge difference to be reminded we’re not alone with our Toddler from Hell, and be able to laugh about it.

HollowSquirrel
15 years ago

Yes, I’m sorry to say we’re there, too. Charming, isn’t it? And apparently it doesn’t end any time soon.

I must go find my corkscrew.

SJ
SJ
15 years ago

I so feel your pain in regards to your toddler from hell, because I have one of my own at home, right now. He’s 14 months also. It is hard, very hard. SO.DAMN.HARD. But as much as we joke about sending him back, you hit it on the head. For such a small person they can infuriate you in speeds faster then sound, but then melt your heart in the blink of an eye. It’s all worth it in the end. Without a doubt.

Melis
Melis
15 years ago

Evidently it’s in the air, because it’s spanning all months of the toddlerhood spectrum here in the comments! Little Man is 2 and while we got through the first two years with very little whining (thank the powers that be!) due to baby sign and just not a too whiney kid, we are entering the dangerous field of molars. Naughtiness, in my kid anyway, usually means pain or frustration and no way to verbalize it. After almost a solid 2 years of going to her home, he got his first crappy “report card” from daycare today, informing me that he tried to tell the provider off (lots of pointing and screaming NO!NO!NO! at her). Even when she gave him the opportunity to apologize he pointed again and said NOOOOOOOOOO he hadn’t learned. His time out wasn’t effective-totally didn’t work. He stood up (all 2’9″ of him) and stomped over to a boy almost the same size but 6 months younger, snatched the toy from him and pushed him down all because Z had the toy Little Man had before he earned the time out. Needless to say, he got a second helping of time out. I was amazed he had “lovin’s” for the provider when it came time to leave, since he was pretty pissed off at her.

I can’t wait until he’s a teenager!!

penny
penny
15 years ago

I just wanted to confirm my theory that the reason they (babies) come into the world so small and cute is so we take them home. See it is a trick! They grow… and become monsters BUT not until we fall hopelessly in love with them and BAM! tanturms… oh it will get better. Soon enough the talking back and the “No’s” will begin.
Trust me, I have 5 of them, I wasn’t sure what caused em or something. I kept trying to get right? Whatever it was, been there done that… could write a horror book on what the life of toddlers and small children do, and yet, they steal your hearts. You can’t possibly wrap your mind around this right now, but there will come a day when you actually miss it. Hence, if they make it to adolesence for example.
At least Riley is as adorable as they come.

Annie
Annie
15 years ago

My 14 mo. old son has chosen not breathing as his tantrum of choice. Yep, when I commit the abusive acts of putting him in his high chair or telling him “No, no.” when he pushes the TV buttons, he cries so hard he doesn’t breathe… for a while, I mean, the boy has turned blue and passed out. Twice I have called 911. His Dr. says it’s behavioral. He said usually the breathing reflex is strong enough to override the behavior, but not in my boy, no sirree. Supposedly he’ll out grow it. Of course I’ll be insane by then.

Anyway, what worked with my breathing daughter was to offer a hug when the tantrum started and if she refused that I figured nothing was gonna make her happy so I walked away or turned up the TV or whatever I needed to do to ignore it. It seemed to work.

Lesley
Lesley
15 years ago

Sundry, this youtube video was made for days like this.

Babies are amazingly sophisticated.