January 24, 2007

I am trying to eat better.

I can’t type the words I am dieting because I feel like that will instantly jinx me and I’ll find myself eating fistfuls of Krispy-Kreme-and-bacon sandwiches while power-chugging melted lard. Or something.

God, that was gross. The melted lard part, I mean. Because Krispy Kreme and bacon? Together? Clearly I have just invented some sort of culinary holy matrimony! In fact, let us all just take a moment to let the angelic chorus reverberate through this web page. Boowaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

It’s been nearly 17 months since Riley was born and it’s taken me this long to feel anything more than a fleeting sense of unhappiness about my body. Nothing much has changed, I haven’t gained or lost any weight to speak of, but I think it’s finally time to be serious about getting in shape.

JB and I have created some really unhealthy eating habits — mostly stemming around nightly “treats” that involve baking cookies or having ice cream or whatever. It’s like…this thing we do together, that is fun and indulgent, after the boy is asleep and we both feel, however briefly, like our responsibilities are lifted.

We don’t drink, after all. We don’t smoke. What do we do? Eat cookies, that’s what.

Well, the food-as-reward thing might work long term if I had the metabolism of a toddler, but sadly I do not. Plus, it gets kind of pathological, feeling destitute if you can’t access the magical combination of sugar and bad television, you know?

So I’m cutting that shit out and substituting healthy snacks and I’m trying to make sure our dinners do not include an actual square foot of melted cheese and etc, etc, etc. I’d like to fit back into a size 8, or at the very least be a leaner, healthier size 10.

I want to feel more attractive, basically. Right now, I feel completely invisible: out of shape, sort of frumpy, nothing particularly pleasing to the eye. It’s spectacularly unsexy.

I just weighed myself (am I really about to type this oh my god I am) — after dinner, but also after peeing, and on a questionable scale that had an embarrassing amount of dust on it, I weigh 148 pounds. I’m going to check back in with you on my progress or lack thereof, not because I have any misconceptions over your level of interest (I know, blogging about dieting is about as thrilling as blogging about children, which is to say I should really starting writing about Cat more often because hoo boy, TRIFECTA OF SUCK HERE I COME) but because I am going to hold myself accountable, by thunder.

:::

My friend Jen came over today with her 10-month-old son Theo, and while Riley was pretty interested in Theo’s presence (“BA BA!”), he was awfully possessive about his stuff. God forbid another baby drool on one of his eight thousand plastic blocks, you know. It was sort of funny to watch him manufacture a deep and emotional attachment to some toy he’d been ignoring for the past month, but at the same time I was a little dismayed by his bogarting ‘tude.

Luckily, we discovered the perfect activity for the two kidlets:

Rileyandtheo.jpg

Of course, it would be nicer if that were Riley pushing Theo around, being as how Theo was the guest and all, but maybe next time.

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angela
16 years ago

OMG, the cheeks on Theo!

kara marie
16 years ago

I LURVE when you blog about Cat.

Just so you know.

CA
CA
16 years ago

I just wanted to say that I have always admired your body. Taking positive nutritional steps is always a good thing, but you shouldn’t feel unattractive right now. You’re hot. I have no reason to kiss your ass, so you know it’s true. At least try to believe this a *little* bit the next time the voice in your head says you’re frumpy.

Kathryn
Kathryn
16 years ago

I just have to say, when I read Krispy Kreme and bacon sandwiches, my first reaction was, “Oh my god, where do I find those?” Seriously, Krispy Kreme should start a new line of breakfast sandwiches…because that’s JUST what I need.

Leah
16 years ago

The secret: Big-Ass Salad. Contrary, to its name, it makes the ass not big. The way I figure, if I eat enough of anything, I’ll eventually get full.

CBO
CBO
16 years ago

I know where you are coming from. Ranie’s put me on a diet since New Year. We whipped out the old body-for-life book and are going back to that basic system. Easy. Well, not for me, but it is for her. She makes everything look easy. Having an over-achiever as a wife has it’s downside I guess. As for me, if I even look at a donut it not only attacks me it breeds in my stomach until thousands of mini-donuts congregate on my lovehandles and make new homes. I cannot even begin to discuss what happens when Brie is involved. Or cheesecake. Yuuummm… cheesecake.

God knows I gotta drop the extra pounds I put on traveling too much last year.

Anyway, don’t let the idea of a diet get you down. You don’t need one anyway. Ranie says to tell you that you look great.

angela
16 years ago

I saw an episode of No Reservations and Anthony Bourdain was traveling the PNW and he stopped at a donut shop in Portland called voodoo doughnuts and they had a maple bar topped with bacon. I was licking my TV screen. Also, in the first segment he was shooting the shit with Chuck Palaniuk, so that was awesome too.

Daily Tragedies
16 years ago

Damn, girl! Now I want some cookies! But I’m on the same it’s-not-a-diet-it’s-me-eating-healthier plan.

Sigh.

But, way to go! Woot! to being healthy.

Meg
Meg
16 years ago

One actual panelist comment at one of the JournalCons I attended (one of the… I’m such a nerd!) was, “If you really want a popular blog, have a baby! Or, go on a diet, and talk about it a lot.” So, there ya go, for whatever that’s worth, heh.

Also, good luck! I am trying to eat healthier too, and damn, it is hard.

Pagne
16 years ago

I’ve found that if I educate myself on how food affects my health, it gets me motivated and staying honest to eating healthier. Two books that I’ve really enjoyed are “The China Study” and “The Omnivore’s Dilemma”.

Zoot
16 years ago

I have had the same nightly indulgence thing, but by myself. My husband, Mr. Fitness, gives me that LOOK every time. I’m doing much better with excercising since I set the goal to run a marathon this year (last year I couldnt even run around the block – no lie) but my nightly indulgences have gotten much worse. My favorite – several bowls of cocoa puffs.

But we’re eating better too. I bought a steamer. It has been a big help because it makes cooking vegetables easy – and I dont know how to cook, so I need all of the help I can get.

Em
Em
16 years ago

The KrispyKreme and bacon? …. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luther_Burger –this is close already. Blech.

Good luck with the eating healthy. I find that I can avoid using a lot of cheese, butter, etc. on things I cook when I choose lots of interesting seasonings.

Karla
16 years ago

With three pregnancies (two term) in only two years, I completely understand about the body thing. Pregnancy has kicked my hips and ass a permanant few inches wider and added sagginess in unmentionable places for good measure. We are treat monsters here too, but usually in the form of doritos.

mzmtg
mzmtg
16 years ago

Two words: Weight Watchers

My wife and I are on it as of the new year and we are both losing about 1.5 pounds per week. My sister lost 50 pounds with that system last year.

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t has success with it.

It’s really nothing more than a simple way of tracking what you eat, which is the key to getting in shape no matter what your goals may be.

We don’t go to the meetings or use the online program either. All of the pertinent info can be found for free online if you dig for it.

Laura H
16 years ago

I read somewhere about how, after marriage and kids, we often times find ourselves slogging around in sweats… eating really bad stuff after 8 PM and how that can take the *zing* out of a marriage. I closed the magazine, got up and brushed the dorito’s crumbs off my Packer jammie pants and went off to pick up my son from school…vowing to eat the bad stuff before 7 at the latest. Seriously, I think of the first two years after having a child as such a whirlwind of craziness that anyone who can hang on to a size 10 is ahead of the game. I mean, think of how much time you really don’t have to eat right.

Swistle
16 years ago

Wait….nightly treats are NOT healthy?

Also, I had really good luck with the Weight Watchers Core program, which lets you eat as much as you want of certain foods (including popcorn, fruits and vegetables, eggs, fat-free sugar-free pudding which is not half bad, potatoes, meat, milk, etc.), as long as you limit certain other foods (including anything you will want the minute you can’t have it, including bread, fats, and sweets). Here’s the basic list, although I had a friend of a friend who went to meetings (i.e., paid for the program) and she said they said she could also have fat-free Cool Whip and a few other things not listed:

http://www.geocities.com/core_food/index.htm

I liked that I could eat and eat and eat and eat on those days I felt like I really wanted to.

Emily
16 years ago

I weighed about the same four years ago as you do right now, and although I would shed a couple pounds every few months at first, it was spending a year in Iraq that really help me shed the last, oh, 12 or so pounds, because 1) the dining facilities were only open at certain hours of the day, and 2) in the summer, it was just too fucking hot to eat. Since I’ve been back from there, I just try not to eat TOO much junk food and get a moderate amount of exercise, and I’m generally able to keep the weight off. My point being, sometimes it helps if you restrict yourself to eating only at certain times of the day. For us, we had access to food of the non-junk variety only from 7:00-8:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m., 5-7:30 p.m., and 11:30 p.m. – 1 a.m. If we missed a meal, we had to wait till the next one, or else eat an MRE, which I think you know is just about as appealing as a cardboard pie. It’s hard to do that back here in the States where food is available from somewhere 24/7, but if you can discipline yourself like that, it could totally work, and you still can snack on healthy stuff whenever you want. (I actually survived on an apple, a Dr Pepper, a couple bags of popcorn, three fried eggs and a banana per day for about five months when I was on night shift, and I rarely felt very hungry.) That, and try to sit in a steam room or a sauna every once and a while.

I sound like a goddamn lunatic, don’t I? Ah, well. Take it for what it’s worth — I’ve been to the land of Fuck These Size 10s, and I totally feel your pain. Stay strong, yo.

Niki P.
Niki P.
16 years ago

Well, I applaud you your honesty. I am 5-9 and I weigh in at a whopping 179. I am tall, I have boobs, I have a butt and I have hips but I am NOT big boned… I need to exercise bottom line. I am lazy and I love food.
Good luck to you.

Betsy
16 years ago

I’ll echo the Weight Watchers thing. I too had my little indulgences, and I was thinking, “Hey, this isn’t so bad. I could eat healthier, but there’s not much more I could do without becoming one of those totally boring no dessert people.” Turns out I was wrong. WW opened my eyes to how badly I really was eating.

warcrygirl
16 years ago

Dude, 148 is one of my weight loss goals. Once I hit 148 I’m going to shoot for 125 (HAHAHA). KK and bacon? Is that like Cake-n-Bacon? And if you don’t get that reference you need to watch more Nick.

Sara
16 years ago

I did the same thing 12 weeks ago and threatened to post before and after pics, OH THE HORROR! Anyway, I went all nutty and even posted my daily FOOD on my blog, but more people than you’d think actually enjoy reading about that kind of stuff. If you move more and modify some of your eating habits you’re bound to see positive changes in your body. Maybe switch to Light ice cream (I hear Edy’s/Breyer’s has a new light flavor called Birthday Cake, complete with a frosting swirl and SPRINKLES! I repeat: SPRINKLES!) and bulk up your meals with veggies. I find that when I take care to eat right and workout 5-6 days a week I’m better in all the other areas of my life as well. Also, I want to toss my son out the window much less often.

Jen
Jen
16 years ago

I love when you blog about Cat too. I also love when you blog about Riley, and apparently dieting, because I liked this post. I that makes me boring? I can relate to the “eating better”, that’s what I have been trying to do for the past… two years or so, with little success. I fall back into my old pizza for dinner three times a week habits pretty fast. But, 148? On a full stomach? Not so bad.

I have also been craving bacon lately, in a bad bad way. What is it with bacon? Thankfully donuts are not my thing. No, I prefer a bagel with a mountain of cream cheese and a large coffee instead. i was going to go get one right now, but you’ve inspired me: I should really eat the banana and yogurt i brought from home instead.

Joanne
16 years ago

I like to read about diets on blogs – or at least how people eat, exercise, etc. My husband and I just had a conversation last week about how we have to cut out sugar, because we do the exact same thing that you described. Anthony goes to bed at like 7:00 and we’re like kids, running to the freezer to see what we have in there to pig out on! So I’m interested. Good luck – and although only you know how you feel, I really do think you look great.

omu
omu
16 years ago

I’ll second the WeightWatchers comment, though I’ve been doing it online. I too don’t know anyone who hasn’t had success with it. I’ve been doing it since March of last year and I just reached my original goal weight this week – I was 225, now I’m 175. The great part? Now that I know I can do it, I’m aiming for 155. And the other best part? I’ve done it even though I still eat pizza, Whopper Juniors, and other “treats” when I want. So I don’t feel like I’m missing out!

It’s so nice looking at photos of my and my kidlet and thinking, “Damn, I look hot!” instead of thinking, “Damn! I look huge!”

Melanie
16 years ago

The trifecta of suck works for me – cats, kids, and food are some of my favorite things. This is because I’m lame and sort of becoming my mom. Scary stuff.
I feel the same way about eating – I need to change my habits without adding the dreaded “diet” word. My big thing is needing to start actually exercising, though – I used to have these great baby-lifting arm muscles that could beat my husband’s arm muscles no problem, and now I have floppy arms. We won’t even mention the enormity of my butt here. Ahem. Either way, I want Krispy Kremes and bacon now. Someone mentioned bacon yesterday, too, and now I keep thinking Mmmmm… Bacon…. in a kind of Homer Simpson way.

Julie
Julie
16 years ago

My husband and I decided this year to try “counting calories” (I know, how original and novel…) to lose 10 pounds slowly from the first week of January to mid-March and to our huge delight, it’s working! We downloaded a free 15 day trial of a program called Dietpower which makes the calorie counting easy (and dare I say fun?!) and keeps us forever mindful of our intake, what we’re doing right and what we need to work on, which has motivated both of us to not only exercise more, but expand our dietary repetoire (to the absolute disgust of our children – bean medley tortillas anyone?). Anyway, we’re certainly learning a lot and we seem to be losing steadily, if slowly, which to me is the way to go. Whatever you do, good luck! If you partner up with JB, you’ll have a built in support system. Also I would recommend weighing in at the same time every day – the morning is usually best, before breakfast… lets you start your day on a positive note!! Good luck.

zu
zu
16 years ago

awesome. bring more vegetables in your life, don’t buy (or make) large amounts of cookies (small amounts OK) and go for walks (or skiing).

Small steps…

JennB
JennB
16 years ago

I’m undergoing the same issues you are, weight-wise, but you can add a LITTLE more to your lbs to come up with mine… I’m not going to say how many, because then you will all think I am some lard-ass couch potato. And I’m not, I’m just spectacularly large-framed, with large amounts of other things. What I would give to be 148 lbs!!!

Ahem. Anyway. I am not “dieting” either, I’m just writing down what I eat – every day – figure out the caloric values of those things, try to keep them around 2,000 calories a day, and exercise for about 20-30 minutes a day. It’s helped: since the beginning of the month – when I started this – I have lost about 6 lbs, and I am pleased as punch. My clothes are fitting better. And, while I’ll never be 148 lbs, I would like to get to 175. I haven’t weighed that since high school, or maybe junior high.

Good luck! I would love to help support you on this! Maybe I’ll start posting every day on how I feel about food, how ambitious I’m being, etc….. Diet Mommy Blog! The other new Holy Matrimony.

jennb
http://www.opaqueprintproduction.com/jbblog

P.S. Krispy Kreme + bacon. Oh my god.

stan
stan
16 years ago

I used to love that time after the kids went to bed when they were young – not so much for snacking, but just to flop down in the chair and switch off. So much so that even though my two boys are now 19 and 16 I still tend to hang around after everyone else goes to bed, whatever time they go up. Also, since the older one started University he is always hungry at night, so there is usually a pizza or something on the go around bed time. Not good for keeping the weight down!!

Chataine
16 years ago

I am so right there with you, down to the current weight and the desire to just eat healthier overall. I’ve been having some *gasp* actual motivation to work out lately, so I’m jumping all over that, but I still eat just as poorly as ever. And I eat a LOT. I’m trying to fill up on things like bananas and apples (sometimes with a few slices of cheddar) instead of on processed, packaged things or pastries or ice cream…and so far I haven’t lost much but I DO have more energy. I might check out that online WeightWatchers list Swistle posted, just to kick myself into gear about cutting out more bad foods and replacing them with stuff that’s more nourishing.

Thanks for inspiring me! It helps to see other people working on getting healthy – then I won’t feel so alone when I’m craving donuts.

Ang
Ang
16 years ago

Good luck with the eating healthy. I think that’s the best approach to take — don’t diet, just make lifestyle changes, that way, they stick with you after you’ve dropped the pounds.

Melanie
Melanie
16 years ago

I am in the same boat, although I would be happy to get back into a 14. Sniff. I’d love to get back to a 10 but I haven’t seen that since I was 20. I know I can do it but that can’t be my goal right now. What will happen is that it will overwhelm myself and give up. We have cut fast food out completely. I am embarassed to say that I used to eat McDonalds or Burger King EVERY DAY for lunch. Washed down with 5-6 cans of Coke. Instead of calling it a “diet” I am calling it a “lifestyle change.” And it has been. I am not weighing in because that will make it feel too much like a diet, but I am already noticing my pants are a little looser and my skin looks better. (Less grease and more water: who knew? Oh EVERYBODY.) So anyway, my goal is to get down to a size 14 for bathing suit season, and then establish a new goal then. (I only wear a 16 (well a snug 16) so it is not that tough). Baby steps for me. Good luck to you.

Amy
Amy
16 years ago

I’m trying to lose five to seven measly pounds, just so my size 8’s feel a bit better. Some of my pants have become a bit… tight. So yeah, not a huge amount of weight to lose, but it’s hard. I’m very attached to my sweet treats in the evenings, too. And I love bread and pasta. And sometimes, once I eat one cookie, I go on to eat five. Probably not the best tactic.

I just discovered sparkpeople.com through Erin Shea’s blog and am starting to track my meals there. It’s very eye-opening to see exactly how many calories I’m eating in a day. The site also has recipes and some great fitness and exercise tips. You should check it out. Good luck! :)

robin
16 years ago

I’m not touching the weight issue other than to say good luck. My goal is to be where you are now. So meh!

The sharing of the toys, yeah, I had the same experience and it kind of embarassed me. Here is my adorable child ripping his toys (that he could care less about most of the time) out of some poor kids hands who is there to play. Geez. But, I guess it’s an age thing and not much you can do about it, really. I’m hoping he’ll grow out of it.

The pic of Theo pushing Riley cracked me up. He is the king of his lair, isn’t he. That’s awesome.

kate
16 years ago

I’m pregnant, so I’m obviously not dieting – and I’m not really watching what I eat carefully either – but I was a similar weight/height to you, and the vaugue “eating healthier” thing is the only thing that’s ever worked for me. If I officially go on a diet I just start obsessing about food and become a miserable person. Weight Watchers was a complete disaster for me, the one time I tried it. It seems a lot more manageable to just try to make healthier decisions on a case by case basis.

Anyway, good luck – I just wanted to say I can relate!

Caitlin
Caitlin
16 years ago

I fully support your healthy eating goals (fruits and vegetable and whole grains make you feel SO good once you eat them regularly) but I have to say, 148 lbs on someone with 8 ft gams is none too shabby :)

Also, if you like dark chocolate, I’ve found that buying a really decadent bar of the stuff (Ghiradelli, the Rainforest brand, Lindor, etc.) and having a square or two when you’re craving sugar-cheese-donut-ice cream-cookie dough is actually VERY satisfying. It’s rich, but doesn’t have as much sugar so it doesn’t make your brain go into crazy pig-out mode. Plus antioxidants, aphrodisiac, etc., etc.

Kristin
16 years ago

I know ypu’re not looking for compliments, but when I met you I thought:
1) Your pictures don’t do you justice, you are really pretty and
2) You don’t look like you’re a size ten, even though I’d seen you mention that before. You have a petite thing going on.

Anyway. I need to eat better too, I’ll hold myself accountable via your blog. Heh.

katie
16 years ago

i have a kickass recipe for a frappucino-like tasty treat that is ridiculously low in calories and sugar. i will send it to you — i’m not at home right now. i hate diet tasting things, but this is good and could be a “reward”. lots of veggies is key to a good diet i think. makes you feel full, lots of good nutrients. but i do’nt think a 10 is so bad at all. but you want to feel good about yourself, too. just don’t give up ice cream. life’s too short!

Karen
16 years ago

Posting your weight? That is the bravest thing a blogger can do, in my opinion. And I think you look great, but I know what you mean about having to do it for yourself. You need to feel good about how you look in order to feel sexy.

I’m with you with the eating better. For me, I already eat very healthy foods (I’m a vegetable and whole grain fanatic), but I do eat for comfort. So I need to do some serious portion control. It also doesn’t help that I get the hormonal hungry horrors twice a month. I cannot believe how many carbs I can consume on those particular days. Dear God is it scary.

Craig
Craig
16 years ago

A bacon Krispy Kreme sandwich? That sounds ALMOST as good as what a ballpark in St. Louis has started offering…the Krispe Kreme burger (which does include bacon). See this link for the grisly details (and a picture of the amazing concoction): http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2362369

I love your writing. Keep up the good work.

krislinatin
16 years ago

ARGH, dont EVER say the word DIEt. It will psychologically ruin any attempt at gaining your health.
try http://www.bodyforlife.com. the key is healthy food and gaining muscle, not big huge veiny muscle, just muscle tone. Ya know what stops the carb cravings? Protein.
Good luck, we are all rooting for ya!

Erica
16 years ago

I have just started using sparkpeople.com for help in tracking my food, knowing how good/bad it is for me and staying motivated. It is very interesting, a lot of fun and the best thing about it is that it is completely free.

jen
jen
16 years ago

For your sweet cravings, try No-Pudge Brownie Mix. You just dump the mix in a bowl, mix in some fat-free vanilla yogurt and they come out so fudgey and chocolately. It’s really hard to believe that they’re no-fat. (They also come in Cappacino and Mint Chocolate!)

In less than 3 months I lost 13 lbs on the WW Core Plan last summer! (I’m 5’4 and started at 148 too). It really truly works and I’ve kept off the weight that I lost with little effort, even through all of the food-o-rama holidays! I heart the Core Plan!

jen
jen
16 years ago

ok ok, so you’ve now officially made me feel guilty about wanting to “eat better.” righto. i’m kicking out the crap- no more junk food. i will not share my weight though, but i have done a good job this year shedding weight simply by moving to nyc and walking everywhere, not purposefully though! here to those extra 20-or-so pounds.

ps another one of my resolutions was to do this (http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml), which i am starting this weekend for sure.

and ive rambled enough. ;p

Jennifer
16 years ago

It’s kind of ironic but when I first glanced at the headline I thought it said “I am trying to eat butter.”
Do any of you watch A. Bourdain’s “No Reservations”? Recently he went to a donut shop that had a maple donut with a big, crispy piece of bacon on top. Before I saw that I would have been like “oh, gross” but it looked soooooo good.

HollowSquirrel
16 years ago

OH stop the cuteness. Please.
Good luck with the healthier eating. I need to get on that bandwagon, too, but I’m a Dunkin Donuts whore.

jonniker
16 years ago

Oh dude. That picture is awesome. Riley has a look of quiet triumph on his face, however, not unlike he’s thinking, “That’s right bitch. YOU push ME. Glad we figured that out.”

(Also, I dig the Cat, Kids and Diet posts. Trifecta of suck, come to me.)

Gentry
16 years ago

a) your cute new hair makes you cuter than you were pre-Riley/babyweight
b) home-baked cookies? Don’t stop that action.
c) is for Cat. I *do* want to read about her latest shenanigans.

April
April
16 years ago

man, eating good really sucks. is it me or is it a huge subject on the blososphere right now?

for new year’s, i decided to cut out two things from my diet cold turkey: fast food and fried food. Not eating fried food makes me feel really great… don’t know if it’s had all that much affect on my weight though b.c I didn’t eat a whole lot of it to begin with (just mostly on the weekends). My brother dropped 15 lbs just quitting the fast food though, he was my inspiration.

Now if I could just drop the GD starbucks (aka “fourbucks”) from my diet, I would be set.

Jennifer
16 years ago

My downfall is cheese. Apples and cheese, wine and cheese, nachos with cheese, cheese & crackers… Anyway my method for avoiding my main comfort food is bean/rice dishes. That stuff sure fills you up and supposedly those beans are healthy too. Even though “beans and rice” sounds pretty uninteresting, there are some fantastic recipes out there. I can email you some if you’d like. There are easy ones that use canned beans so you don’t have to deal with the whole overnight pre-soaking thing. (And once you get used to having them in your diet, I found that the legendary flatulence thing goes away – but YMMV on that.)

Oh also I believe the early-morning post-pee weigh-in is the more accurate one (if you’re comparing one day to the next) and you also weigh less then so you feel a little more positive about the whole ordeal. Good luck! Figuring out the healthy eats really does make you feel better in the long run – it will be worth it.