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Archives from 2002-2006

July 26, 2007

After taking into consideration your helpful comments yesterday, I think I’ll be asking for a somewhat stacked, A-line-ish cut with a few more layers tonight. Not Posh, exactly, because that’s a haircut that has to be followed night and day by an on-staff stylist wielding a pair of scissors—believe me, I’ve had cuts similar to that in the past and the maintenance was insane—plus I have crazy pregnancy hair right now (it sort of freaks me out, actually, how my hair and fingernails are in this fast-forward growth mode; it somehow reminds me of those time lapse nature videos where the flower barrels out of the ground and explodes in a tawdry display of dripping pistil and stamen and ovule) and so a very stylish style isn’t going to work for very long, but in the Posh neighborhood, if you will. Ghetto Posh, without the money or the sour expression or the terrifying rock-hard boobs.

Speaking of celebrities, I saw Mean Girls last night (why? Because Tina Fey, that’s why) and I found it sort of excruciating to watch Lindsay Lohan, and not just because the movie included 5827 close-up shots of the freckle on her upper lip. There’s something so trainwrecky about watching footage of a celebrity before All the Really Bad Stuff started to happen, you want to shout through the screen and warn them to use a LIMO for the love of god—and to maybe rethink the boozy idea that playing with kitchen knives = sexy (christ, at least haul out some legitimate S&M accouterments, you know? Ball gag that Minillo chick)—and yet there’s nothing you can do.

(JB deserves props for watching that with me [although the plethora of miniskirts surely eased his burden], especially since I picked out our last movie: Jet Li’s The One. What can I say, I was really hoping for an ass-kicking 90 minutes of crazy special effects and nonstop action-fu, but it is in fact a terrible, terrible turdfest with the cheesiest wire work ever—they may as well have dangled Li from a fishing pool and swooped him clumsily around for an hour. Bah.)

This week has been kind of dragging for me, and every time I need what basically amounts to a hit of mental nitrous oxide, I watch this video. Oh man, I just watched it again. So, so funny. Bookmark that puppy, and hit me back: what’s the best thing you’ve seen on the internet lately?

July 25, 2007

I have a couple questions for those of you who are good at envisioning things, a talent that sadly passed me by along with the ability to fold a shirt without making it look like a crumpled snotrag (see also: multiplying fractions, correctly identifying the location of any of our nation’s states, and remembering which things are and are not okay to microwave).

First: here are some colors we’re considering for the new living area. I’m planning on using the extremely dark brown (Benjamin Moore’s “Marsh Brown”) for one wall, with the rest the neutral color down in the bottom left (“Powell Buff”—the other color on the top right looks too pinkish to me). Is this going to achieve my goal of a dramatic background to the room (wall and window trim will be white), or is it going to look like eighty-five monkeys came in and threw their wet feces at the wall?

And speaking of wet feces, I’m sick to death of my hair and I have a haircut scheduled for tomorrow. Here’s a semi-crappy photo of what it currently looks like (taken with new iPhone camera, SQUEE!)—without going too drastically short, have you got any suggestions for what I can do with this boring mop? For all the nonstop craziness being dished out by Britney Spears in the last several months, I’m starting to think she was on to something with that head-shaving business.

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