I have to tell you, sometimes when Sunday evening rolls around, I realize just how incredibly ready I am for the weekend to be over, and how much I’m looking forward to heading into work the next day, where I will get an 8-hour break from the midgety little person I love most in this entire world. Ahhhhh.

Riley was sort of brutally exhausting all weekend, and the extra hour Daylight Saving gifted us with this evening nearly killed me dead. I know there’s all kinds of uproar over cold medications for children and so I’m guessing that animal tranquilizers aren’t condoned either, but a teeny, tiny well-aimed dart . . . would that really be so bad? My god, I can picture it so clearly: the jolly sssst! of the needle flying through the air, the confused batting as the boy realizes something has embedded itself in his flesh, the blissful, blissful silence that would follow . . .

When we weren’t chasing our go-go-gadget kid around, JB and I managed to get a lot of boring domestic crap done over the last couple days. We cleaned out closets, built bookshelves (that involved a family trip to IKEA, which is something I plan to do again approximately never) (although I will say IKEA meatballs with IKEA lingonberry goo is a fine way to recover from such a traumatic event), hauled stuff to Goodwill, and JB manfully took on the dogshit-shoveling task, which was both Significant and Truly Awful.

We also got rid of our old refrigerator via Craigslist, thank you jebus. That thing had been sitting in our living room so long it nearly had squatter’s rights, and I was thrilled to finally see it go. For the sake of truthfulness, I did have to amend JB’s original posting, which read something like: “FREE FRIDGE, WORKS GREAT, COULD USE A BIT OF CLEANING ON THE INSIDE.” Saying it needed “a bit” of cleaning was sort of like saying the Titanic had a bit of a leak, you know? I did clean the terrifying crisper drawer, because my soul is not completely black (unlike the crisper drawer), but I left the rest of it, because in my opinion when a person lives through eighty jillion months of a home remodel, they get a bye on scrubbing out their ooky old fridge.

Instead, I wrote “COULD USE SOME CLEANING ON THE INSIDE.” See the difference? JB sounds like a shit salesman with a mouthful of samples, while I stand for virtue and journalistic integrity.

In picture-related news:

sfinder_07.jpg

We finally have shelves in our new office, hooray! Also, JB seems to have located something with his stud finder, heh heh heh heh.

dogbed1_07.jpg

JB felt that Dog shouldn’t miss out on the home improvement efforts, so we got her a new dog bed (with extra-cushy insert, because she’s a senior citizen). I actually tried to color-coordinate it with our new living room, which I think means I have officially gone batshit crazy.

seatech_07.jpg

Here is a touching moment: a father and son reading together. Awww. Although Riley seems to be wondering where the hell Brown Bear Brown Bear is, and what’s with this Sea Technology crap?

Also, note JB’s bald-ass head. He didn’t keep the hawk, but not only did he personally raise $2500 for his charity (with his company matching dollar for dollar), but his workplace as a whole has raised—through employee donations/fundraising/volunteering and company matches—over $72 million in 2007 as of November 2. $72 MILLION, is that not insane? I mean, in a good way? It’s the company everyone loves to hate (in my industry, anyway) but holy shit, color me impressed and then some.

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Danell
14 years ago

I don’t know Dog, but I love her. Loooove her.

andrea
14 years ago

Wait a second, I coordinated our dog bed to match or living room, am I crazy too?

IKEA will drive even the sanest of people crazy; to do it with the entire family on a weekend makes you the bravest person I know.

Makaila
14 years ago

Riley always looks so disgrunted. As if perhaps Sea Technology is not only uninteresting, but also contains terrible government conspiracies.

Sadie
Sadie
14 years ago

Awwwww, Dog. My dog got a new bed this weekend too! But since it doesn’t reek like his old one, he has been eyeing it with a suspicion akin to Riley at storytime.

The fact that you and JB are still speaking after a trip to IKEA means your marriage is virtually bulletproof. Like, innoculated.

thejunebug
14 years ago

My comments, they are not posting. :( Is it because I keep trying to send you a link to my flickr account? It’s photos/raeanneandjay anyway- basically we’re trying to replace all our bookcases (10 of them) with the billy bookcases from Ikea. Is that what you bought? How are they working?

Lorelei
Lorelei
14 years ago

Which shelves are those? They are so yummy… all connected together like that. I got an office recently, as well, and have nowhere to sit and nothing on which put my shit. Must go to IKEA.
L

Philos
14 years ago

Unfortunately for you, the best time to do an IKEA trip is on a weeknight. There aren’t crowds, you can have the yummy meatballs and lingonberries for dinner first, and then do some leisurely shopping. The reason this is unfortunate is that it’s not feasible as a family trip with a toddler, unless Riley happens to already be keeping late hours that I imagine you would not want him to be keeping.

Also, I got an IKEA gift certificate last Christmas and I have not been to IKEA all year! Sadness! I should at least go and activate the card.

Cali911Gal
Cali911Gal
14 years ago

Somehow I previously missed the bit about JB’s workplace. All I can say is, between his and yours, that must make for some interesting dinner conversation at times :)

As to the remodel/redecorating, your house is STUNNING!

Jem
Jem
14 years ago

Thats fantastic about how much JB and his company have raised! Very impressed :)

Josh
14 years ago

Tell JB I think he’s gay. The stud finder will not go beep at JB station. Cutting off a bad ass hawk is considered crimes against the male gender. But I suppoooose he is doing alright with the “pasty white scalp through the really short buzz cut” thing he’s got going on. My head is sporting the same doo after my Halloween hijinks. And btw, am I the only person who hates charity? I guess that makes me evil or something, but I refused to donate when my employers requested five bucks for breast cancer awareness. I told them I was already aware it existed, and whenever breast cancer cure day rolled around they could have a five spot. Wow, after typing that I am positive it makes me evil. Hmm.

Eric's Mommy
14 years ago

“JB sounds like a shit salesman with a mouthful of samples”
I love it! You kill me!
I like Riley’s eyes peeking over the magazine, very suspicious.

thejunebug
14 years ago

I’ll go smack Jay with the Ikea catalog then- we’ve been hemming and hawing over the Billy bookshelves for awhile. I have to admit my favorite feature is the ability to add cabinet doors! Lesse… $80/pop x 10 bookshelves + $45/pop x 20 = …. good god, I think I just had a heart attack. $1700! Someone bring me my salts.

Swistle
14 years ago

Riley’s eyebrows!

PattM
PattM
14 years ago

I hear you on the 8 hour break that work provides (don’t have toddlers anymore-teens & tweens-argh!). Long hard weekend=looking forward to work. Karma being what it is=sick child today. Love the bookshelves! My husband also does that with the studfinder…..

Kristie
14 years ago

$72 MILLION?! That’s crazy awesome. And, I love the wall colors. Gorgeous.

Alyson
14 years ago

IKEA rocks! I have the opportunity to CHOOSE to go there rather often, as we have an office in Kent – right across the street from IKEA – that I have to go to from time to time. Lunch there is great! Ya know, the meatballs, gravey and lingonberry preserves are all available for purchase to take home. Makes the meatball-eating men in my house very, very happy! Also the Sveppa glasses. Way cheap and if hubby breaks a dozen of them, six bucks and you have another dozen. The mommy frustration over a broken glass goes way down when they are so cheap.

And in December, you can go to the cafe and eat Lutefisk (think whitefish jello – sorry if you just threw up a little in your mouth). I think it’s the grossest thing on the planet (I’m not Scandinavian, can you tell?) but hubby and #1 son, live for the stuff (ICK!).

Of course, I DID mention I NEVER go there on Saturdays, right?

BethanyWD
14 years ago

Ha, ha. The studfinder picture is hilarious!

I have a fear and love for IKEA. I am not brave to go in there on the weekends. It’s just all those people wandering around with no purpose. Ack.

dorrie
dorrie
14 years ago

Okay, so this morning I woke up and thought…thank god it’s monday and I get to go to work and away from this goddamn house and all these people that need me to run their lives…I guess some weekends are like that. Sometimes.

Leslie
Leslie
14 years ago

The golden retriever I was sitting for this weekend ate a newspaper clipping, royalty statement, and bank envelope of CASH I left on the coffee table. The only thing that saved her was that she has the same graying muzzle as Dog. Seriously, they cannot be denied when they get old(er). I feel guilty that she gobbled down my abilty to supply her with extra-cushy inserts.

Jenny J.
14 years ago

Oh ho ho!

Somehow in all my careful reading of your blog all this time I missed who is JB’s employer.

Someday, at that company who must not be named, he may be acosted by a crazy stranger who will know too much about his life and compliment his wife’s humor and hotness until he is forced to call security.

Gertie
14 years ago

Coordinating dog beds is perfectly acceptable, if not encouraged. Now if you start coordinating the DOG, that’s when you’ve officially crossed over into batshit land. [my aunt got a white cat because he “matched”]

Jennifer
14 years ago

I just love Dog. yay for new beds! I bought our dog a matchy new bed several months ago that she has yet to show any interest in (but it’s so pretty!) My guess is that she preferred the fetid piece of foam the Walrus found on the side of the road one day and threw on the floor for her. Sigh.

IKEA drove me monkey-shit crazy until I discovered the secret escape hatch that allows you to bypass the showroom/country come to town and go directly to the warehouse/cheap wine glasses part of the store. That said, I still love it. Viva IKEA!

Sundry
14 years ago

Jennifer: we did that too, went directly to the exit/warehouse area. Sadly, it didn’t help us much. Although that’s where you can buy the frozen MEATBALLS.

Mychal
14 years ago

Seeing as how I have a Mac and I am aware of people’s hatred of one particular company, I think I have a pretty good guess where JB works. But for some odd reason, I always thought he worked in construction or something grunt-worthy like that.

stephanie brown
stephanie brown
14 years ago

i havent read the previous comments, but i have to ask…where has cat been?

Sundry
14 years ago

Oh, Cat’s around. She’s actually been a lot more affectionate lately, if affection can be defined as “slutting our brand-new couch like it’s made from Purina and chickadees”.

Amber
14 years ago

Awww, sad to see ‘the hawk’ go. It was awesome.

biscuit
biscuit
14 years ago

JB + stud finder + Nikon = GLORIOUS

Don’t feel like a freak, I too must have my dog’s bed match the living room. I got her bed from Ikea. It has a golden giant furry cover complete with paws + a tail. When she lays in it, you can’t tell where she ends + where the bed begins.

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j3/kellywmars/1018.jpg

I want to share this with you too just in case you haven’t seen your funny/vulgar internet animal video for the week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_IRwhEqJxw

It seems to be a YouTube favorite + I couldn’t be more proud.

Mom101
14 years ago

An 8 hour break from the person I love most in this world – thank you so much for putting into words exactly what I was feeling all day when I stayed home today.

Also the “aahhhhhhh” part.

Very succinct.

Ashley B
Ashley B
14 years ago

I don’t think coordinating dog’s bed makes you crazy. As a matter of fact, after all you’ve been through with your remodel, I’m very suprised that you all don’t coordinate your clothes to those rooms!

mia
mia
14 years ago

Linda, I’m not much of a commenter, though I read your blog regularly. I read it from my home. Today I tried to login and read it at work, but our net filter had blocked it because….wait for it… your blog has been listed under the banned category of PORN. Somehow, I thought you would like to know this. Perhaps you would even like to include it on your resume?

Lesley
Lesley
14 years ago

Please post more photos of your remodel. I love that stuff!

Also DOG is totally awesome.

superblondgirl
14 years ago

Dude. 72 million?? That is freaking awesome.

Jennie
14 years ago

I love Dog’s new bed. And that she got a piece of the remodel.

And Riley’s face in the reading picture is fantastic, as is your caption.

manda
14 years ago

My daughter Allie loves Brown Bear, Brown Bear. It was also one of my favorites. Child tranquilizers would be so nice sometimes.