I blew the inch-thick coating of dust off my trusty Turbo Jam DVD today and spent about half an hour flailing around in my living room, feeling like a giant clumsy tool. Afterwards, I had that virtuous après-workout feeling that comes with a false sense of optimism and I was sure I’d be able to slip into my pre-pregnancy clothes, but NO. My body has the audacity to continue to be puffy and post-partumy, despite a full 30 minutes of Chalene Johnston’s supportive cries of “You are going to be able to wear whatever you want this summer!” (Really, my motivational needs aren’t so lofty; “Your stomach will look 56% less like a fleshy accordion this summer!” would work just fine.)

The really sucky thing is that the only way I was able to pursue my Return to Sender: Baby Fat goal was that JB was home and able to watch (ie, hold, carry, jiggle, feed, etc) Dylan. The presence of a newborn in the household has officially killed the few hours of free time I had at my disposal each day, especially as he starts to come out of that all-coma-all-the-time stage. I know it’s a big old no-shitter that a toddler + baby = less time to stare off into space dreaming about Torchwood’s Captain Jack Harkness, but damn. It’s kind of a bitter pill to have the intent to do something not particularly fun — like exercising — but being unable to do so because somebody wants to be lifted out of this boppy pillow right the hell NOW, woman, and warm me a bottle while you’re up.

Dylan may be 20 inches of ass-pain (oh god that sounds wrong), but I suppose he has his good points too. I mean, it’s pretty cute how he snorts like a congested pug when he’s upset. The top of his head does smell fairly awesome. And there is the whole incredible business of being a perfectly tiny, perfectly perfect human being who’s part of our little family and all. I’ll keep him, I guess.

PUNKS:

mniac_08.jpg
He’s a maniac, maniac, oh no!

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Dylan, throwing his very first goat.

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samantha jo campen
13 years ago

I know you said you’d keep him, but if you ever change your mind. . . .

Mnerva
Mnerva
13 years ago

Well I’m amazed that you have time to write an entry, let alone do 30 minutes of exercise. Way to go, keep up the good work!

amykatrina
13 years ago

Jeez, Dylan’s appendages are all looking oversized for his tinyness. Not just his feet, but look at his fingers!

Also, you made me want to try to remember the dance routine I made up when I was 12 to the Flashdance song (“what a feeling!”).

Anonymous
Anonymous
13 years ago

dimpled baby!

honeybecke
honeybecke
13 years ago

And that dear Linda, is why I stay up half the bloody night just to do ME ME ME ME ME things!
I also had all my time zapped up when no. 2 arrived (and yes, he is one that NEEDS to be held else the world unravels as does my sanity).
The whole problem with staying up into the wee hours of the night is, duh, I’m kinda tired the next morning at 6AM when the boys wake up.
It’s a vicious cycle, really. If I don’t stay up just to chill damnitt, then I tend to turn into a real bitch. But then I pay for it the next day. So, it’s just a balance that I am still fine-tuning I suppose.
If you come up with any ideas, let us know mmkay?

andrea
13 years ago

My goodness, Dylan sure looks a lot like Riley in that photo. You’ve got a gorgeous family!

Will be singing ‘she’s a maniac’ for the rest of the night…

andi
13 years ago

I do hate to be a buzzkill, but my child #2 is already 8 months old and my stomach is still in fleshy accordion mode. I suppose I could give up things like wine and chocolate, but then would would be the point of living?

Your boys are crazy adorable, by the way.

Melissa
13 years ago

Re: Chalene’s well-intended yet misdirected support-

My workout video features a slender, sinewy woman named Ana Caban who exclaims “don’t forget to smile!” while simultaneously inviting me to balance the weight of my body on my left ankle and my left wrist. I hate it so much that I actually hum a little tune to myself when I know it’s coming so I don’t have to hear it.

Dylan is ridiculous. LOOK AT THOSE JACK SKELLINGTON LIMBS. He’s going to be so tall.

Zoot
Zoot
13 years ago

I rarely comment over here and I can’t believe with all of the insightful things I always want to contribute that this is the one thing I’m going to actually take the time to write:

Captain Jack Harkness is the Hottest Thing On This (and Any Other) Planet. AMEN.

Beth
13 years ago

Aw…looka that dimple!

Swistle
13 years ago

He is SO CUTE.

I HATE that feeling of JUST NEEDING TEN MINUTES TO CLEAN THE TOILET. It’s bad enough when it’s JUST NEEDING TEN MINUTES TO EAT A BOWL OF ICE CREAM, but not being able to fit in a CHORE is a special torment.

Erin
13 years ago

Oh, they are BOTH perfect!

I am perplexed though, at how Dylan can bend his pinkie toe exactly 180 degrees opposite all this other toes. Your boy has MAD SKILLS.

Dawn
Dawn
13 years ago

Just nosily wondering– is it safe to start working out so soon after a C-Section? Not trying to be rude, I am honestly curious. I know Turbo Jam is pretty vigorous (thanks to you and your rave reviews making me a TJ addict who now owns every TJ workout!) and wonder if that would cause damage to the incision area?

Lora
Lora
13 years ago

Lol…. I sing that song from Flashdance from your photo caption ALL of the time… but ’round here….”He’s a babyac,babyac…” I’m amazed you are working out again….”maniac” to you also…. I’m so glad you feel good!!! You are almost making me less nervous about TTC #2 this summer.. :)

Zannah
13 years ago

Hey, gotta keep him, can’t put him back!!!

Workout videos so soon?! Relax! You’re body will get there, it’s only been two weeks! What’s the old adage? It took you 40weeks to get into that condition, it’ll take you that long to get your body back. Should I tell you it took me 2-3 yrs before I was back in a bikini after both boys?

I remember (barely) that son#1 and I read a lot of books and played a lot of simple board games when son#2 was born. Good luck figuring out your new world.

JennyM
13 years ago

Go Bear Patrol!

Jean
Jean
13 years ago

You should NOT BE EXERCISING. Lay the eff down.

Janssen
13 years ago

I’m dang impressed that you convinced yourself to do Turbo Jam when you clearly had the world’s best excuse not to.

Christina
13 years ago

First Im amazed you are feeling well enough to try and workout already. My god I would have bleed to death.
Second, I joked with my husband that if I had a damn dollar for everytime I put that efing bink back in the baby’s mouth I would be recovering my salary!
He is so-so cute.

Dawn
Dawn
13 years ago

For the life of me, I can’t remember if it was your blog that I found “The List of The Day” website or not (if so, thanks!!), but I saw this there today, and it made me think of you. :-) I was cracking up!

http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/02/guide-to-baby-care.html

mandy
13 years ago

Yeah, it get’s better. Once they settle into a good routine, you will find your free time.

Nancy
Nancy
13 years ago

Dylan is just adorable…. love those crazy toes and fingers! The kid is going to grow into those, right? What a cutiepie. Worth the lack of free time, I say. For now at least.

Becky
Becky
13 years ago

I love the BEAR PATROL shirt!!!!

SemiDesperate Housewife

First of all- aren’t you like a WEEK postpartum or some such? Dude, I had a VAG birth and didn’t even want to think about doing more than walking for six weeks after. I mean, I know with C-section you don’t have your nether regions all torn up, of course, but you also have a healing incision from major surgery, yes? You’re making me feel very lazy now…
Also: Look at those long monkey arms and legs! He is going to be TALL! And devastatingly handsome, naturally.

Canadian Coco
Canadian Coco
13 years ago

I really remember those days… when #2 arrived and I felt so overwhelmed and frustrated that I couldn’t even go to the bathroom when I wanted. My youngest of 4 is 3 now, and Linda? It does get better. Hang in there and way to go for trying to hang with Chalene for a bit, do keep it up as excercise is such a stress buster! I’ve suffered from depression on and off for a long time (postpartum and beyond) and have just now realized what a saviour my 30 minutes at the gym is turning out to be. Hang in there!

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
13 years ago

Riley looks just like you!

Melissa
Melissa
13 years ago

Our #2 is a few weeks older than Dylan and yes, there is not anytime to do anything. Our oldest is 11 and I forgot how much free time was a gift before baboo #2 arrived. I’m having a good day when I get a hot shower and my hair dried. Haven’t worked up to working out yet, but God knows I need it.

Sarah
13 years ago

Dude, I am IMPRESSED that you feel up to exercise so soon! Even at 4.5 months post-partum my relationship with exercise is touch and go depending on the state of my incision.

Also, Dylan’s feet are out. of. control!

Alyson
Alyson
13 years ago

I KNEW I liked you!……..sweet, sweet baby boys…..no fluffy illusions about motherhood…..and Captain Jack!(sigh!) ‘Course, I’m startin’ to Jones for Ianto, too.

Amy M.
Amy M.
13 years ago

I’m impressed with the exercise regimen! I wouldn’t even walk the dog for a few weeks after Vic was born, much less subject myself to Turbo Jam! Then my peppy, skinny neighbor has to run a marathon 2 months postpartum & make us all look bad. Hate her. :)

Adorable photos!

H
H
13 years ago

Craaaazy toe!

I had one C-section and one VBAC so maybe you get more confident after the second C-section, but when I went for my 6 week check up after the C-section, I was still afraid my uterus was somehow going to plop out of me. I’m impressed you dare jiggle yourself with such vigor!

Val
Val
13 years ago

OK – I’ll just say it. Did you not just have a baby some 14 days ago? Are you crazy – exercising?!! I assume you weren’t able to do anything radical. Oh my, I’m hurting just thinking about it.

Dylan is cute – just like his daddy and big brother!

Gentry
13 years ago

The “baby’s first goat throw” caption made *me* snort (like a pug).

Eclecta
13 years ago

Dear Lord, that baby has the feet of a six-year-old!!! I thought only Dutch babies had feet that big!!! :)

Caitlin
Caitlin
13 years ago

I just want to stick my finger right in his lil dimple and see if it leads all the way to China.
Then I want to nom nom nom his feet.
And then I want to take him to a rock concert so he can show ’em how it’s done.

Melanie
Melanie
13 years ago

Dylan could absolutely not be more precious. I’d like to eat his toes. What’s with wanting to eat babies? Is it weird?

trackback

[…] I’m Very Insecure About Commenting I only comment on a handful of sites a day. Like, 2-5 total. I read over 100, but I comment rarely. This is mainly because I am very insecure about commenting. I don’t like to comment unless I really feel like I can add something. And usually then, afterward, I realize it’s a really lame addition and wish I hadn’t commented. Evidence: Linda wrote a good entry about beginning the post-baby weight loss challenge with non-existent free time. Yet, what did I comment about? Her one-sentence reference to the hotness of Captain Jack Harkness. WHAT THE HELL? I wish I could delete my comment because several others commiserated or gave their own stories. I’m all like, “OMG. DROOL. JACK IS SEXY.” That is the WORST comment EVER and exactly why I don’t like to comment other places. It took me about 45 minutes to write a comment at Julie’s and it was just a simple question. So – this is obviously something I need to get over. But – I don’t want to be a one-word commenter. I want to actually contribute somehow. I think it’s because I assume that bloggers would rather have an actual comment or none at all. It looks like that may be wrong. […]

ang
ang
13 years ago

I’m very, very impressed you are working out already. Seriously. Impressed.

walking cane and walking stick

Trudy
8 years ago

It’s difficult to find experienced people in this particular topic,
however, you sound like you know what you’re talking about!
Thanks

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