Mar

25

Things just got a lot easier

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Excuse me but I would like to make an announcement. Ahem.

THE BABY IS SMILING. REPEAT, WE HAVE ACTUAL NO-SHIT ON PURPOSE SMILING.

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Also, pouting.

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But the SMILING, good god. All of a sudden with the goony SMILING and the cooing sounds and the EYE CONTACT.

Am mushy. Cannot type. Too busy talking in a ridiculously high-pitched voice, doling out belly zerberts, nibbling baby toes, acting like a love-drunk fool, etc.

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Mar

24

5 pointless things

Filed Under Uncategorized | 59 Comments

1. I had a pelvic exam this morning and the doctor who Took Care of Business was my age or younger. Is it too much to ask that the person who ends up cranking my parts open with the duck-billed instrument of evil and peering where the sun literally does not shine NOT be someone I could have gone to high school with? Of course, this problem is only going to get worse. Soon enough it will be someone I could have baby-sat, then someone I could have birthed.

2. JB has to travel to Asia on business for at least 9 days in April and the current plan is that the children and I will stay with my in-laws in Oregon for this period of time. Hold me.

3. I feel like I should appreciate both anise and Radiohead, and yet I do not.

4. Am I ever going to get a full night’s sleep again? Tell me the truth, now.

5. ALSO, the scale at my doctor’s office clearly has some grievous inaccuracies with regards to my current weight, considering that my home scale displays a number at least 4 pounds lighter. What’s that you say? No, I’m sorry, my $10 bathroom scale CANNOT BE WRONG.

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