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Archives from 2002-2006

It was beautiful yesterday and JB mowed the grass and rid the yard of dogshit in preparation for egg-hunting today, and of course it’s been raining like the dickens since early this morning.

I managed to wrangle one child into a vaguely Easterish outfit, if “Easterish” can be loosely defined as “free of recent spitup”.

Riley’s egg hunt was relocated indoors, where we hid plastic eggs in various places around the house including the Bring Out Your Dead; I’m Not Dead, I’m Getting Better! plant.

Not pictured in this photo: the unreal moment seconds before when Riley slipped and nearly brained himself on the brick hearth, which certainly would have resulted in a different sort of holiday celebration, one including a panicked trip to the ER and a lively discussion over whose stupid fucking idea it was to put an egg above the fireplace.

His basket included a monster truck but in consideration for Cat I omitted the Easter grass in favor of a shallow bowl full of antifreeze.

JB and I were asked to pose for photos, and we practiced holding the baby in a variety of awkward positions.

I call this one “One Child Frozen By Headlights, One Husband Mostly Hidden by Frozen Child, One Wife Who Appears Disproportionately Larger Than Slumped-Over Husband, One Baby Wondering Why It Seems As Though He Has Been Dressed In Some Sort of Godawful Mommy-Son Matching Outfit, And One Is That a Duck Or a Bunny Or Something Purchased At the Very Last Moment in the Grocery Store Checkout Line?”

Hope you had a fun holiday.

I randomly saw this show up in my tracking software today, and I don’t know what makes me laugh more—the fact that someone typed that entire thing into a search engine and waited for the Internet Magic Eight Ball to cough back an answer, or the fact that this is the entry it linked to.

Also, dear mystery googler with gas that is both weird and loud: OH MY GOD JUST BUY YOURSELF A PREGNANCY TEST ALREADY.

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