If I were prone to panic attacks I would currently be having one over the fact that in less than a week we’ll be traveling seven hours to Oregon with both kids: one whose nutritional, entertainment, and hygienic needs require intervention on an unpredictable and often-frequent basis, and one who’s taken to moaning “I want to go hooooooooome” five seconds into a drive.

I am also finding myself greatly entertained by some recent commentary over at ParentDish about how people just can’t understand why Kids These Days are allowed to watch DVDs during road trips because back in their day they didn’t even have radio, by gum, they sang songs and played with rocks in the car and they were JUST FINE, except for the fact that they grew up to be, you know, kind of a sanctimonious dicktowel. I sure wish I could hire some of these bucolic song-singing folk to drive my toddler in a separate car, I bet they break down and whip out the Blue’s Clues videos in freaking Olympia.

I don’t know how we’re going to fit all of our stuff in the truck, except we HAVE to, because if you think I am bringing Dylan on a weeks-long visit anywhere without his swing you must be out of your damn mind. Oh, did I mention the “weeks-long” part? Yeah, this would be the trip where JB flies off to Asia for 10+ days and I stay back in Coos Bay with his parents. I like his parents, don’t get me wrong, but man oh man, this will be a long trip. The alternative, however, was staying at home and flying solo parenting-wise for the entirety of JB’s absence and STILL having to do the Oregon drive soon for visitation purposes, so I figured this would be, if not exactly an ideal situation, the least painful option.

We had planned to board Dog because 1) she’s old and long drives are hard on her, and 2) it’s kind of rude to bring your smelly Lab to someone else’s house for 10 days but all the local kennels are FULL next week. WTF. One lady told us it was because of spring break, which made me scratch my head because spring break? Isn’t that this week? Is spring break more than a week long now? Has MTV taught me NOTHING?

Anyway, I don’t know why I’m jumping the gun on stressing about this trip, except what the hell, maybe power-worrying burns calories. Hopefully I’ll work off enough so I can enjoy a decadent bowl of yogurt and cottage cheese later.


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Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
16 years ago

OOOOOOh Yogurt and cottage cheese, she’s a badass!

16 years ago

OMFG! I had to go over to ParentDish and check out the comments…and came across this one:

OK, help me out here. Folks bring portable DVD players on road trips to occupy tots – did I read that right? Where exactly do these portable DVD players sit while the tots are watching them on the road? If you had a car accident, what would stop them from smashing into your babies’ heads?

LMFAO! Words cannot even describe the utter stupidity of this post. Does this person live on another planet? Total dicktowel!

16 years ago

No, no, [shaking head from side to side] there’s no place like that in Coos Bay. :)

When are you going? I’m going to be in CB this weekend (4-6).

16 years ago

Dicktowel. *snrk!*

Good luck on your trip. In 2004, I spent 20 hours in a car with a 6 month old and it was pleasant in moments and hellraising in others. Granted, my husband was driving with my father-in-law up front to keep him company so I could sit in the back with the baby, who mostly slept a lot. It was cramped and crowded in the car, but it was well worth the vacation. And hell, even I had a DVD player to entertain myself then, and I was 26 at the time.

DVD players rule on long trips. This past weekend, we spent 8 hours each way (so 16 hours round trip) in the car and the DVD player STOPPED WORKING. It kept reloading the disc every time we hit a bump, so we’d get into the movie a little bit and then the player’s logo would pop up with “Loading…” in the corner. It was the most soul sucking car ride on the planet with a chatty 4 year old who slept a little but didn’t take to reading or coloring or anything else I’d packed for him to do but talking, talking, talking talking talkingtalkingtalkingtalking.

The DVD players aren’t for the kids. They’re for the parents, who need it to keep from wanting to purposefully drive off the road just to get some peace and quiet for five fucking minutes.


I didn’t say we did drive off the road, I said we WANTED to. At times.

16 years ago

I so feel your pain. My very pregnant self is about to take a 2-year-old on an 8-hour plane flight to Hawaii. A 2-year-old who has a lot of energy, cannot contain herself within a plane seat, maxes out at 3 hours on a flight (with Dora videos) and absolutely DOES NOT SLEEP ON PLANES.
I’ve been dreading and moaning and crying about this trip for months now. I think I might just jump out the window somewhere over Arizona.

16 years ago

I know this is a terrible cliche, but — I am starting a band. The Sanctimonious Dicktowels. Who’s with me? It’ll be like The Tree Brains.

16 years ago

So my 3.5 month man cub will ONLY SLEEP IN HIS SWING!! We have a rotating stock of rechargable batteries at the ready, and I am now trained to hear the darn thing run down in my sleep.
How long before he will go to bed? He was 6 weeks early, but I don’t think we can claim the preemie card anymore.

16 years ago

Fuck the DVDs try Benadryl. We have traveled all over the world and when our kids were young we gave them Benadryl to get over the hump.

16 years ago

sorry my links went all wonky on my comment. i should’ve embedded them. i feel bad.

16 years ago

I wish we’d had a dvd player in the old suburban during road trips when we were little! Our sole form of entertainment was watching my dad give the finger to passers-by during his frequent stops to pee … on the side of the road.

I hope you’ll still post while you’re away!

16 years ago

I know you’re not looking forward to the drive down, but I’m so jealous! My sister lives in Eugene and I just saw her for the first time in 7 years last week when she came to visit. I miss her terribly already.

16 years ago

I’m having a panic attack just reading about that trip. And doing it without a DVD player would just be pure masochism.

I really must try this power-worrying. My question is, though, will it burn off a pint of ice-cream?

16 years ago

gave you a blog of excellence award over on my blog.

16 years ago

I am so glad I finally found you here! Your Parentdish posts are great, but I knew there were more somewhere…Anyway, as far as bringing the dog on the roadtrip, have you looked for any dog-sitters in your area? My dog hates kennels, especially now that she’s older (I actually sent her to one where you could go online and view the play-yard live to see what kind of a time your dog was having while you were away – and she was sulking forlornly in the corner – which DID NOT “allow me to rest assured” as the brochure promised.
Now I’ve got a woman who comes over twice a day for 1/2 hour a time and feeds & walks her. It’s more attention than WE give her these days (5 month old baby), and she can spend her days doing what she normally would – sleep on all the furniture she’s not allowed on. Typically, these sitters will do up to 3 pets for a flat rate of $15-20 a visit, which is less than the price of the doggie-cam kennel. Good luck whatever you do!

Bitter Betty
16 years ago

Dude. I wouldn’t want to drive 7 consecutive hours in a car even if George Clooney’s head was in my lap and Dr. McDreamy was feeding me Hershey kisses from his own mouth.

May God be with you all.

16 years ago

Yeah, PD has some special people who comment. I can’t cast stones though, ’cause my workplace firewalls out this site but not PD so I have to spend a lot of time there if I want to read Sundry’s writing during my downtime during the workday. So yes, I’m finding myself commenting. I hope to hell I’m not one of those sanctimonious dicktowels though.

16 years ago

notice it’s the people who were kids in those good old days, driving their parents nuts from the back seat. I’m pretty sure we drove my mom crazy with our back seat snivelling, whining, fighting and endless repeats of “are we there yet?” Occasionally we’d break into some monotonous song. She was pretty good natured but if DVDs had existed in those days I’m thinking she would have gone for them.

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12 years ago

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