No amount of cajoling, excitement-drumming, or outright bribery has made any progress in our ongoing household efforts at Operation Poop In the Potty. (I should clarify that I’m talking about getting the toddler to poop in the potty, the adults have pretty much mastered this activity and the baby is still using his free pass.) I am fairly convinced it’s never going to happen. I know people say that all kids eventually get with the pooping program but do they really? Maybe there’s a whole subset of school age children secretly sporting tween-sized diapers under their Levi’s, you know?

I’ve said for months that I don’t feel any major rush to get Riley squared away in this department but that was before he started demanding corn for dinner. Enough said? Okay then.

He’s a champion potty pee-er, though, I’ll give him that. He also loves to announce that Daddy went poop on the potty like a BIG BOY so Daddy gets a MOTORCYCLE, RIGHT MOMMY? and I tell him that Daddy is taking the reward/bribery system way too far and that Daddy may have one (1) M&M instead.

As long as I’m bagging on the children, I’d like to complain about a noise Dylan is making. We have a neighbor that has some sort of giant white parrot bird-thing whose throaty jungle cries we can hear two houses away, and Dylan’s thrilling new squawk has a similar eardrum-smashing quality. It is vowelly and undulating and frankly quite impressive, but most of all it is loud. It is so very loud. He tends to get most vocal when he’s tired and I know precisely when we’ve crossed into the Should Have Put the Baby Down Five Minutes Ago zone by the fact that the house has taken on the general relaxing atmosphere of having transported itself inside a live jet engine.

So! One of the kids needs to tone it down a few thousand decibels, the other needs to embrace the theory of crap-free pants. Other than that, they are both awesome and cute and funny and each dwelling in a particularly charming stage of childhood. I’ll keep them, I GUESS.

2585709435_3ac73ecdea.jpg

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Lastly, a few random questions:

• Is it wimpy to choose the elliptical machine over the treadmill at the gym?
• Cute sundresses that can be worn with a matronly bra (ie, no spaghetti straps allowed): do they exist?
• What am I going to do with my Friday nights until Battlestar Galactica comes back on?
• I need to get a new exersaucer for Dylan, because we foolishly stored Riley’s old one in the garage and it became coated beyond repair with sawdust crud. Suggestions for brands that didn’t drive you batshit crazy with singing voices/seizure-triggering lights/call-and-response programming?

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Karen
Karen
14 years ago

Yes, they all poop in the potty eventually. I’m remembering that I had the same fear with Steve when he was a toddler. I was sure he was going to progress from Pampers to Pull-Ups to Depends, but he figured it out. Now he’s thirteen and the big battle is getting him off World of Warcraft for long enough to take a shower. Yeah, you just trade one problem for another. I think it lasts forever. I’m pretty sure it does, anyway.

warcrygirl
14 years ago

A motorcycle eh? My hubby got a giggle out of that one; then I reminded him that he never got the the bullhorn I asked for last Christmas. As far as the sundress: no clue. I’m a short, fat chick and they don’t exist for me in ANY form. Sorry!

rai
rai
14 years ago

Is it wimpy to choose the elliptical machine over the treadmill at the gym?

Nope. Any anyone that gives you grief, tell ’em that your knees love you for the lack of impact.

I’ve got nuthin’ on the others. Especially the second. I gave up on sundresses about 5 cup sizes ago.

Trina
Trina
14 years ago

All I can say is, Cat is probably telling Riley not to poop on the potty. That is why they are so lovey dovey in that picture.

Kate @ Bleisenblog
14 years ago

It’s expensive, but try the “Ocho Rios gathered sweater dress” at jcrew.

Christina
14 years ago

i run 5 miles most days outside, but if i am inside, it is the elliptical machine for me! i hate treadmills! but i find that i “cheat” more on the elliptical – i can go slower and still be going, where as with running you can only go so slow before you are walking.

We have the Evenflo Exersaucer® Mega Circus, and it does pretty much free of electronic sounds. except for one thing which we keep off. I love it.

Jolie
14 years ago

Could your kids be any cuter?

Elliptical vs. treadmill is hard. I always assume that treadmill must be more of a workout, but I think it depends on how hardcore you get on the elliptical. They have those programs you can punch in on the elliptical where it goes easy for 2 minutes and then KICK YO’ ASS HARD for 2 minutes, on and off and on and off, and let me tell you, that WORKS those leg muscles.

so, I think elliptical workouts can hold their own as long as you’re not being a pansy about HOW you use the elliptical. plus, it’s much better for your joints. none of that pounding.

Yvie
14 years ago

I’m not sure with the potty too though. I haven’t started my son yet as he is only 19-months old.

What is the appropriate time to start potty training? Oh, I’ll be needing to read updates about your son’s potty training. Need to learn about a thing or two about this.

Pete
Pete
14 years ago

My first two were trained by 22 months. Mostly because we couldn’t afford diapers and the wife stayed at home. The second two were closer to 30 months cuz were old and lazy and can afford the diapers.

Muse
14 years ago

There are few topics I know better than poop… well, that’s not true. I just think poop is really funny. Anyhow, my immaturity is not the point of my comment .. the point is maybe Riley just needs some musical inspiration. Over the Rhine is a great band that does a song called “Poopsmith” (it can be purchased on iTunes or on their website http://www.overtherhine.portmerch.com/stores/home.php?cat=250)

I think its hilarious and apparently it helps poop go in the potty.

Good luck!

Jess
14 years ago

The elliptical is better for your knees. So no, not cheating.

On the dresses, try something with a boatneck. Classy and covers your upper back and shoulders. For example (and this is not a sundress, but it has the right neckline): http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=317390&CategoryID=22120&LinkType=EverGreen

BRash
BRash
14 years ago

I always thought that an elliptical gave a better workout than a treadmill could?

In fact, I just googled “elliptical treadmill better workout” and got this:

“if you are looking for a quality cardiovascular workout with the maximum amount of efficiency, you will not be able to overlook the elliptical machine.”
…and…
“What is even more interesting, according to recent studies, is that the lack of impact on the joints allows the user to burn roughly the same amount of calories as treadmills with the impression of putting CONSIDERABLY less effort.”
(http://exercise.about.com/cs/exercisegear/a/treadelliptical.htm)

Mico
14 years ago

Elliptical: probably is wimpy, but I can’t help myself. My rule, though, is that I switch machines every 2 weeks. So I make the rounds of the bike, treadmill, etc. and it’s like a reward when I get back to the elliptical machine. A reward in fewer calories burned, probably, but hey – at least I’m doing something, right?

clarabella
clarabella
14 years ago

I am terrified of the potty-training stage. I am waiting for your success story. I have faith there will be one.
Q&A
1. I can’t run due to bad knees, so the elliptical is the only choice for me. I have to echo the pro of the low-impact of that machine.
2. I got one from the Gap and one from Wal-mart, surprisingly enough. They’re both a little low-cut, but they have wide straps so a cami works underneath. Good luck.
3. I am too frightened to investigate how long the BSG hiatus really is. I will just start watching the older seasons until I can get the new fix again.
4. We have the Baby Einstein Jumperoo thingy, and it plays music on one little four-key keyboard, but they’re all classical tunes, though just as tinny as any other battery-operated toy. They’re not terribly annoying to me, but you can turn the keyboard off if you want. Also, it has lots of places to hook-up hanging toys with those little plastic rings. We bought it when Liam was 5 months old, and he’s been a fan ever since. Now, at 13 months, he still goes in it often when we need him to stay in one place for a few minutes.

sooboo
14 years ago

I buy one or two things here every season. It’s a little pricey, but the clothes are good quality (I think) and they have sundresses with thicker straps, which I like as well.
http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/category.jsp?popId=APPAREL&navAction=poppush&navCount=1&pushId=APP_DRESSES&id=APP_DRESSES
Also, boys take longer to train than girls, no?

Angela
14 years ago

I’ve solved the BSG problem. See, I download the episodes. And I’m about four episodes behind…so, i plan to watch one episode every six weeks, and I figure that should bring me almost all the way through til January. :p

All Adither
14 years ago

Holy Crap! That smile is blinding me way over here in Seattle.

divrchk
divrchk
14 years ago

Oh getting boys to poop in the potty. My son was peeing in the potty for well over one year before he would poop in it. Let me preface this by saying that he is very smart :-) He started reading in preschool smart. Here’s his story (you sort of asked…) He was petrified to go in the potty. Not sure why. No amount of bribery worked. He would rather hold it for days on end. We would put him in a diaper to go poop when he asked for it because he would just hold it if we didn’t. He would then go to his pooping corner – not in the bathroom – and do his business. Finally, I made him at least be in the bathroom. Then, I made him sit on the toilet with the diaper on. Then, my husband cut a hole in the diaper which my son had no clue was there (no idea how not) so that when he pooped it fell into the toilet. This was the turning point for us. I would NEVER have guessed in a million years that this would work. Bribery did NOTHING. My advice in hindsight is to not let them pee standing up until they have mastered the poop in the potty. I feel that was my biggest mistake.

I just ordered this dress http://www.eddiebauer.com/EB/Women/Dresses–Skirts/index.cat?viewAll=y#ppl={type%3A%22transition%22%2CensembleId%3A%2232856%22%2CformatStr%3A%22product%22%2CpassedIdObj%3Anull%2CcategoryId%3A%22100%22%2CpathInfo%3A%22C1C3C100%22%2CcolorId%3A%22200%22%2CimageName%3A%22EB08IB_0177031_200B1%22%2CimageTypeCode%3A%22B%22%2CcatPath%3A%22lineId%3D-1~~categoryId%3D3~~pCategoryId%3D1~~categoryName%3DEBpCategoryName%3Dnull~~%22%2Ccs%3A%220%22} in brown. Not sure if this link will work. There are a bunch on sale right now at Eddie Bauer.

Jennifer
14 years ago

LOOK AT ALL OF YOUR TWEETS! I don’t want anything living in my bowels, much less something with teeth. I might rethink things if there was something that could hang out in my colon and you know, move things along. Ahem.

Re: the pooping thing. I’m a big believer in just letting them go when they’re comfortable going (I don’t have any chirren, so please feel free to tell me to STFU)

Is the problem that Riley just doesn’t “get it” or is he afraid to go? I ask because I (and my poor parents) suffered for YEARS because I was afraid to poop in the toilet. Citing “monkeys and monsters” I just flat out refused to go. I don’t quite know what my problem was, my mom would have never badgered me into using the potty if I wasn’t comfortable or ready, so I think it was definitely a psychological thing. Maybe Riley’s going through something similar? If I remember correctly, Dooce’s little girl had a similar issue so I think it’s pretty common!

With regard to the elliptical I don’t think it’s wimpy at all! My trainer swears that it’s actually more challenging and works out more muscles than the treadmill. I’m all for switching it up as I get so bored with the treadmill!

Sally
Sally
14 years ago

I have a similar dress problem. There are no cute dresses for nursing women, and even the boring ones are super expensive. I do love our exersaucer though. It is baby einstein and it only has ONE thing that makes electronic noise, and you can turn it off. Although one of my kids likes to push the buttons with his mouth and would be so sad if he wasn’t rewarded with quacking ducks.

Sarah
14 years ago

Oh, a topic near and dear to my heart. I just got two at H&M and I’m planning on wearing them all summer. I’d love to show you a link, but H&M doesn’t roll like that.

Nancy
Nancy
14 years ago

Re: a new exersaucer — we bought one at Walmart right before Christmas. It has only one electronic gadget – a rotating circus tent with a switch. When the twins figured out the switch, we opened the thing up and ripped out the electronics (very easy to do). The batteries were hardwired to the board so it was the only solution. When we got a jumper seat thing, we just never put batteries in it.

jaime
14 years ago

I find the elliptical sooooo much harder than the treadmill. So no, not cheating.

Joanne
14 years ago

We have a Baby Einstein exersaucer and I really liked it. A bonus is if your kids like the Baby Einstein DVD’s, it has recurring characters on the exersaucer, like an old friend.

anonymous
anonymous
14 years ago

First, the treadmill is a better workout & will burn more calories; however, cross-training is important. It’s best to include a variety of exercises, so you shouldn’t do any one thing all the time, anyway. Also, the elliptical is easier on your joints. Conclusion: it’s not wimpy to keep your routine mixed up, work different muscle groups, and give your knees, ankles, shins, etc. a break! It is easier to cheat on the elliptical, though, so don’t forget to work hard.

Second, today I bought a cute sundress on sale at the Gap. I looked on the website but couldn’t find it there, so maybe it’s only in stores. It’s a soft cotton jersey, falls just at my knee, has thick straps over the shoulders that will comfortably cover any kind of bra, & has a modest scoop neck. It’s slightly empire-waisted with a tie that pulls back behind you. It’s nice enough that you could dress it up with heels and pretty jewelry for going out to dinner or something, but it’s equally good for flip-flops and BBQs. In my Gap, the dress came in light pink, heather gray, and navy blue. One sale now for only 21.99!!

jen
jen
14 years ago

someone else linked eddie bauer and i think they have some pretty cool stuff. if only i could shop right now!!

i have a chest myself a decent dose of modesty and picked up a SWEET sundress from banana republic factory store. SO pretty and only 45 bucks (i had a giftcard!). ill be looking around for more so do share if you find some! im always envious of those sundress people!

MrsWaltz
14 years ago

In no order whatsoever, sorry, but I’m supposed to be doing sixteen other things right now instead of blog reading (also, pardon duplication but I didn’t have a chance to read comments):
1) Good God, no, the elliptical is NOT wimpy. Wimpy is not even using the elliptical because you can’t seem to make it work, and using the ‘mill instead because thankfully, you did master the art of walking earlier in life.
B) That noise that Dylan is making? At my house we called it the “baby pterodactyl noise.” And it did finally end. But because my eardrums were shattered before that, I’m sorry I can’t tell you when.
IV) Someone please let me know about the sundresses. PLEASE.

Lesley
Lesley
14 years ago

Ah, you have my sympathy re the treadmill or, as I call it, the monotonous road to nowhere. I would rather run a 1/4 mile outdoor track in any weather several times. At least the dirt shifts underfoot and there’s a breeze.

Re BSG-free Friday nights. I know, eh? If you and JB haven’t seen The Wire yet, I recommend renting all four seasons (season five isn’t out yet) and treating yourself to one or two every Friday. You have to start at the beginning. This is one of the best shows ever made.

I believe Mad Men starts up again in July (not sure which night though) and it’s excellent. Worth checking out the first season.

Hanna
Hanna
14 years ago

I don’t want to wear a gosh dang tank/cami under the dress dude. It is HOT in Texas. Am eating up the dress links. I would like to be able to bend over at the grocery store without showing the world my enormous nursing bra!

mnerva
mnerva
14 years ago

Wow! I was blown away by the Cat & Riley photo! The happily corkscrewed tail, the nose rubbing against his wee knee, the bent over hug/pet. Cuteness overload!

Katie
Katie
14 years ago

Check out Once Upon A Child or a store like it for the exersaucer, they are so expensive new!

Lesley
Lesley
14 years ago

Btw, though I commented your Flickr site, let me add that the photo of Dylan is too funny. Please post more of these. Also video of his ear-splitting call would be amusing to see (nudge nudge hint hint). Perhaps he and the parrot are communicating?

And Riley is just so sweet in that photo with cat. Kids are usually a little rough on animals and he’s obviously very sensitive and gentle.

You have two very darling boys there, earth shattering calls and diaper issues notwithstanding.

P.S. Riley might enjoy having some of his favourite books near the potty. He’s probably not used to the idea of sitting down and waiting for it to happen. Also, I was told by a pediatrician a long time ago that kids unconsciously feel a separation anxiety when they see their own poo in the toilet and think (without thinking it exactly) they are flushing a part of themselves away. They’re somehow attached to the stuff. (This made no sense to me but anyway)…and he suggested books and toys around the toilet and he also suggested getting their hands in gooey stuff like cookie dough and garden mud to help with the sensory end of it. It worked for the little boy I was caring for but he was slightly older at the time.

JudyU
JudyU
14 years ago

When my daughter pooped her first time on the potty, she looked at it and said “I pooped a hot dog”!!

I told her that they come in ALL shapes so that maybe the next day we could see what new shape her butt makes.
She liked that idea. It became a ritual. She thought she was an artist. She would save it and show it to me and INSIST on showing it to her dad. She got over it, FINALLY. She was 2 then. She is now 18 and going to Art School in the Fall.

Elisette
14 years ago

Dude, I’m not going to sugarcoat this – the pooping can take FOREVER sometimes. Luke started peeing on the potty in January. Today, June 17th, he pooped on the potty for the FIRST TIME. Six months. Can I tell you how happy I am today, though!!?!?!?

Alice
Alice
14 years ago

Re: elliptical.

Not wimpy. Do the “interval” program, and do it at the max resistence you can stand, and you’re absolutely getting as good, if not better, a workout than the treadmill. Plus less knee and hip damage. I actually like to do both – try 20 minutes of each. You’ll see you butt shrink to a ridiculous degree. Promise.

Ps – your children? Seriously? The cuteness is absurd.

Eva
Eva
14 years ago

Target and Old Navy have some good sundresses right now that you can wear with a supportive bra. Nice and cheap!

Amber S
Amber S
14 years ago

Try buying a spaghetti strap style sundress and layering a…umm…I don’t believe I am going to write this, but how else do you describe it, a “wife beater” underneath. It’s far to casual for work unless you can find one with some feminine detailing.

About the poop thing, does Riley have an older cousin/neighbor/friend a couple of years older, say 5 or 6ish? Preferably one that he adores, follows around, imitates etc… Have the kid over, bribe the cousin-neighbor-friend with the M&M’s, tell him to make a big deal about his poop. Perhaps Riley will be so impressed that his idol drops the kids off at the pool he’ll wanna do it too.

We bought our Excersaucer at Costco and a second one for my parents house at a used kid’s store for half the price and honestly the used one was better because the battery for all the noisy stuff was burned out. Maybe you could pressure wash the old one, inadvertantly destroying the batteries while getting rid of the gunk.

What was the other thing you mentioned…oh, the shrieky bird noise coming from your wee one. Have you tried diverting his attention by making a different noise? Works 70% of the time, everytime ;-) Get his attention,make a loud whistle, gasp, clap. My son would always stop midscream, a bit confused, but he stopped. If that didn’t work, I would sing “One little, two little, three little Indians…” and pat my hand on his mouth to turn his scream into part of the song…”WaWaWaWa, WaWaWaWa…” Not very PC but it saved my sanity a few times.

By the way, beautiful pictures this post!

Sundry
Sundry
14 years ago

Whew, so glad to hear it about the elliptical. I do it maybe 2x/week for about 45 min, 35 of those minutes running on the 10 setting for . . .uh, ‘height’? Incline. And at 9 for intensity, or whatever. I don’t do the interval setting but maybe I should?

brenna
brenna
14 years ago

-I always feel like I get a better workout from the elliptical.

-?

-?

-My daughter likes the Fisher-Price Rainforest Jumperoo that we got her, and it’s not terribly irritating.

Kay
Kay
14 years ago

I can’t answer one single question because after that last photo of Dylan, my ovaries exploded and now I am in pain.
gee thanks.
:)

Amy
Amy
14 years ago

I actually think the elliptical kicks your ass a little more effectively than running. And I would choose it ANY day because it’s so much easier on your knees and joints. So, no. You’re totally not wimping out.

Also? What’s up with the BSG sabbatical until FREAKING 2009?!? I’m with you on this one.

No help for you with the sundresses, but if you do happen to find some cute/appropriate ones, please post some photos on Flickr. I’m in dire need of a cute wardrobe update for my postpartum body and could use some ideas!

Mary O
Mary O
14 years ago

We got a Fisher-Price Rainforest Jumperoo for my second boy, and it hands down beat the pants off of the Exersaucer that I had for my first. The kid has spent hours upon hours in that thing, starting from about 4 months (he’s 7 months now and still loving it!). There are some jungle-animal sounds that you can turn on, but I generally have it off and the boy doesn’t seem to mind either way.

amber
14 years ago

What? Why would it be wimpy to choose the elliptical? I mean, I HOPE it’s not because I’d rather be on the elliptical any day, and I hate that sucker with a fiery passion. Plus it SEEMS like more work. To me.

Alyson
Alyson
14 years ago

I was told by my first pediatrician (and father of three) that for some reason..,boys…have an issue with saying bye-bye to their poops. They for some reason think they are losing part of their body when they do it in the potty. Hence the issue with doing the job in the toilet. He counselled patience, and not being afraid to develop a “bye-bye poop” ritual. There is also the famed Robert Munsch book “Everyone Poops” (it’s not just a Steve
Carell joke!)

As to your questions….

> I think the elliptical is way harder. You’re no wimp!

> If you come up with an answer to this one, let me know.

> Watch Doctor Who, if course!

> Haven’t got a clue….my kids predate the exersaucer – even the 11 year old.

lissa
14 years ago

“Is it wimpy to choose the elliptical machine over the treadmill at the gym?”

CHRIST no. I can easily manage 30 minutes on a treadmill, but 15-20 is my limit on an elliptical. It feels like a much more productive workout, but without all the ow knees.

Sandra D
14 years ago

I’m sorry, but I have no sure-fire potty-training advice for you. My little one FINALLY started pooping in the potty a couple of weeks ago; she’s three months shy of turning four.

A stubborn one, she was.

Cass
14 years ago

Is it wimpy? Um….For me, and I can’t speak for others, I know that I don’t get as good of a workout on the ellyptical as I do when I’m running on the treadmill or even huffing it at a really high incline – it has to do with the percentage of your body weight that you are propelling. That said I’m sure you could get a hard workout from the ellypitcal machine…I happen to be too lazy to push the machine to challenge me.

And the cute sundress thing: I’m going to say What is Hell to the N-O Alex? Goodness knows I’ve looked. There are a few from Ann Taylor that you could really work but they’re not so much cute as they are….country club appropriate.

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
14 years ago

This is my advise, DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE POTTY :)

My son was 4 by the time he was officially pooping on the potty. Although it was a long time and I too thought he would NEVER learn, he did. I was convinced that he would be wearing training pants to college.

He never had any interest in the training potty he only used the big toilet. Now his problem is (he’s 6) every time he poops he clogs the toilet!!!! That of course also has to do with the fact that when he was really little he flushed the toilet paper roll holder down the toilet, where I think it is still lodged somewhere.

Deanna
Deanna
14 years ago

– exersacure: hit the goodwill or craigslist etc for the ORIGINAL (ie: older and they quit making them) model with the plain tray. Add your own toys. Cleans up with wipes or 409- easy cheesy! They sell super cheap. If the seat is faded or gross- you can order a replacement seat for cheap or save your current seat and use that.

Carrie
Carrie
14 years ago

Hi! Just wanted to say that we experienced the whole potty training thing like you are – he would pee just fine but the pooping thing took forever!! Someone at my husband’s office told him this trick and it really helped our son get “motivated”…he loves cars and trucks of course, so we hung hot wheels or matchbox cars from the ceiling above the potty. Every time our son pooped in the potty he got to choose one of the cars. He totally went for this idea and before we knew it he was taking care of business on the potty! FINALLY! So, for us, the bribery with hot wheels worked!

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