No amount of cajoling, excitement-drumming, or outright bribery has made any progress in our ongoing household efforts at Operation Poop In the Potty. (I should clarify that I’m talking about getting the toddler to poop in the potty, the adults have pretty much mastered this activity and the baby is still using his free pass.) I am fairly convinced it’s never going to happen. I know people say that all kids eventually get with the pooping program but do they really? Maybe there’s a whole subset of school age children secretly sporting tween-sized diapers under their Levi’s, you know?

I’ve said for months that I don’t feel any major rush to get Riley squared away in this department but that was before he started demanding corn for dinner. Enough said? Okay then.

He’s a champion potty pee-er, though, I’ll give him that. He also loves to announce that Daddy went poop on the potty like a BIG BOY so Daddy gets a MOTORCYCLE, RIGHT MOMMY? and I tell him that Daddy is taking the reward/bribery system way too far and that Daddy may have one (1) M&M instead.

As long as I’m bagging on the children, I’d like to complain about a noise Dylan is making. We have a neighbor that has some sort of giant white parrot bird-thing whose throaty jungle cries we can hear two houses away, and Dylan’s thrilling new squawk has a similar eardrum-smashing quality. It is vowelly and undulating and frankly quite impressive, but most of all it is loud. It is so very loud. He tends to get most vocal when he’s tired and I know precisely when we’ve crossed into the Should Have Put the Baby Down Five Minutes Ago zone by the fact that the house has taken on the general relaxing atmosphere of having transported itself inside a live jet engine.

So! One of the kids needs to tone it down a few thousand decibels, the other needs to embrace the theory of crap-free pants. Other than that, they are both awesome and cute and funny and each dwelling in a particularly charming stage of childhood. I’ll keep them, I GUESS.

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Lastly, a few random questions:

• Is it wimpy to choose the elliptical machine over the treadmill at the gym?
• Cute sundresses that can be worn with a matronly bra (ie, no spaghetti straps allowed): do they exist?
• What am I going to do with my Friday nights until Battlestar Galactica comes back on?
• I need to get a new exersaucer for Dylan, because we foolishly stored Riley’s old one in the garage and it became coated beyond repair with sawdust crud. Suggestions for brands that didn’t drive you batshit crazy with singing voices/seizure-triggering lights/call-and-response programming?

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beach
beach
14 years ago

elliptical interval setting on high setting is a major workout!!!

also, as a mom of 2 teens(boys)…my experience with potty training(what I remember )was closer to a little over 3 years of age. my oldest went off to preschool(where is was mandatory there was no shitting in there pants)…he was 3 and 4 months…..the first few months i would drop him off and then proceed to hold my breathe and pray there were no accidents…..believe me its true, no one starts kindergarten in a diaper!!.I also remember when I stopped making it such a big issue, it somehow happened!

good luck!!and enjoy the summer corn season!!!

Kristin H
Kristin H
14 years ago

Good lord, pooping on the potty is The Very Hardest Thing I have had to deal with, with my daughter. It has been a serious exercise in letting go (ha!) for me, because that, along with eating and sleeping, is one thing you cannot make them do. And she would hold it and hold it, and I would worry and fret and google things like encopresis and try all the advice other people had given, and still, nothing but tears and holding it in. We are finally — FINALLY — making baby steps toward getting there, but she is over four now and still isn’t entirely there. She has pooped in a diaper for ages and our doctor’s only advice was to wait it out. It’s been hard, though, I’ll tell you. I feel your pain.

claire
14 years ago

In my gym experience, in which I lost 40 pounds in 8 months, the elliptical works you so much harder and burns more calories without kicking the crap out of your knee joints. It is totally NOT lame to pick that over the treadmill. In fact, we even bought an elliptical for our house, they rock that much.

ashley
14 years ago

See, I think the Elliptical is harder than the treadmill. I usually do the treadmill or bike, but decided to try the elliptical the other day and it about kicked my ass! I’d keep doing the elliptical, but you may want to mix it up a bit so you don’t get bored.

As for the dresses, good luck with that… I just had to hunt for a dress to wear to an upcoming wedding (in Seattle, I might add) and I had the damnedest time. I’m chesty and have to wear a bra. I tried on about 25 dresses before finding one that was suitable, however, I know that I’m going to freeze, because summer never offically starts in Seattle until July 5th and the wedding is on the 4th.

megan
megan
14 years ago

I love my elliptical. Granted, my knees can’t really take running on a treadmill as they somehow are 10 years older than me or something. In any case, the elliptical is awesome. I always feel like I get a good full body workout especially when you can set the workouts so that the incline goes up and down at various intervals. Your body will thank you for it.

Besides that, I feel more bored on a treadmill. Not sure the intelligence behind that, as they both have the same non-changing scenery (save people and the tv).

I’m out on the others. Love all the cute sundresses but sadly they just don’t seem to be made for anyone except for teens with pert boobs!

Melanie
Melanie
14 years ago

I recommend the Einstein exersaucer also. Mine has only one “musical” item and it can be turned off (genius!). Lots of toys they can pull down and chew on. Ben loves the stationary book with pages that turn and a mirror.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2861775&cp=2256079

g~
g~
14 years ago

Boys take longer. Period. Lower your expectations for it because it can take a LOOOONNNNgGGG time for them to get it. My son didn’t have a problem with pooping (it just took forever for him to be consistent with everything) but I have heard many that did. What someone posted about boys feeling like they are losing a part of their body is true–from what my Mom said and she raised five kids.
We have an elliptical and we love it–it definitely works more than the treadmill but it doesn’t Feel like it because there isn’t as much bouncing and impact. Or is that just me?

the goddess anna
14 years ago

Re: elliptical – not wimpy at all. It’s how my Navy husband does his fitness test, and it’s not easy.

Re: BSG – I wish I could help. We’re mad as hell that it won’t be back until NEXT YEAR!!! But then again, we have Stargate coming back on in July. Hubby and I watches all the previous seasons of BSG, one episode a Friday night through the last hiatus. We’re uber-geeks like that.

Finally, on the sundresses – I’m chesty (38DDD/F, depending on bra), and these puppies are too much for a skimpy bra. When I do wear a sundress (I have two), I wear a coordinated bra and let my straps show. When the choice is between comfort/support and fashion, the first wins every time.

Wish I could help on the potty training front, but my 3yo twins haven’t even shown interest (they’re delayed), and my daughter was trained in like two days. My suggestion would be to keep him in undies he loves, and when he poops his pants, make him throw them out (if you can salvage them, do so behind his back). That’s what my MIL did with my husband. : )

Pam
Pam
14 years ago

Having gotten 3 boys from diapers to underwear I have to say that it’s just a patience thing. Mostly yours of course. And it’s all about when they are ready. No amount of pushing will do it. With 3 of 3, no amount of bribing worked either. He will get it when HE is ready. It might seem like he will never be ready but he will. Don’t give up. Just think! The next challenge after you get him to poop in the potty is to get him to wipe his ass thoroughly!

Sara
Sara
14 years ago

The elliptical is great, especially since you already run in your neighborhood a few times per week, so you are “cross-training”. Better to mix up your exercises to prevent burnout and injury. Keep ellipticizing!

ALSO… 45 minutes? Crank up that intensity by doing intervals (ie. 1 minute all-out-I’m-gonna-puke, 1 minute recovery) for 20 or 25 minutes and you can burn the same amount of calories during your workout in LESS TIME, but also continue to burn calories AFTER you step off the machine. I don’t think the same is true of a 45-minute steady-state workout. Cut that shit in half, woman!

Sarah
Sarah
14 years ago

Potty training – our son is 14 months old and I bought a potty the other day. You know, just to have around. Last night I was reading how you can do horrible psychological damage by introducing it outside of the teensy window of opportunity. Whatever, I seem to do everything wrong anyway (starts off sleeping at night in his stroller with a bottle, no less!).

Exersaucer – I say anything you can find in decent shape at a garage sale. I got one for $10 and I was glad because the baby only used it for a few months. I cleaned it up and replaced some of the toys with new ones from the store. I got the Evenflo circusy one, which, prior to having a child, I thought was the most ugly thing ever. ok, it kind of is, but it did the trick for us. Google image ‘evenflo castle ultrasaucer’.

Dresses – I wish I had your problem. I thought my boobs couldn’t be any smaller, but somehow after having the baby, they proved me wrong. Nothing looks good on me.

Elliptical? I’m beyond impressed at how much you squeeze into your day anyway. Wimpy? Not compared to the alternatives.

Good luck!

nonsoccermom
14 years ago

OH MY GOD it took SO LONG for my son to start pooping in the potty. It was MONTHS after he was pee-trained, for sure. And he was older than Riley so props to him for already being a champion at peeing in the potty!!

No real suggestions on the other fronts – but I do second the commenter that said you should start watching Doctor Who on Fridays. Love it.

T
T
14 years ago

I suggest both Weeds & Arrested Development.

Carrie’s suggestion w/ the hotwheels reminds me of what a friend of mine tried–put one of those nettings for toys above the toilet & filled it w/ various wrapped gifts. Poop in the potty–choose a gift.

I love the elliptical. I hate treadmills. But I think you are doing the elliptical much more hardcore than me. I need to get less lame & step it up!!

Marianne
14 years ago

I have two Max Studio knit jersey sundresses cut like this:

http://www.sierratradingpost.com/p/,29739_aventura-clothing-by-sportif-usa-sasha-dress-sleeveless-for-women.html?cm_mmc=PaidPlacement-_-Shopzilla-_-WBIZ8-_-Aventura_Clothing_by_Sportif_USA_Sasha_Dress_-_Sleeveless_For_Wo

They are perfect! Flattering, comfortable, and bra-friendly. I found mine at TJMaxx for a steal, but now I’m eyeing this Aventura dress, too.

JMH
JMH
14 years ago

The ellipitcal can be even MORE difficult than the treadmill if you add resistance and use the arm things.

Check out JCPennys for dresses. I got a CUTE one (on sale!!) and it has 2″ thick straps as opposed to spaghetti straps.

Ann
Ann
14 years ago

Okay, y’all. What the hell is an exersaucer?

Ami
Ami
14 years ago

Check Jcrew’s sale section, they always have cute sundresses on sale!

Tracy
Tracy
14 years ago

i always thought the elliptical was a better workout. you might have to do it longer than a treadmill, distance wise, since it’s kind of like riding a bike rather than running…

all i know is that all the celebs seem to do it, so it’s gotta be good, right? ;-)

emily
emily
14 years ago

Don’t have time to answer the Q’s right now, but – those pictures – MADE MY DAY!

Steph
Steph
14 years ago

Try Ann Taylor Loft for dresses. They usually have way cuter stuff than just the regular Ann Taylor and lots of their dresses have wider straps versus the spaghetti straps. ATL rocks my world!

And just use the “I’m working different muscles” attitude when choosing the elliptical over the treadmill. ;-)

I second the Arrested Development recommendation. Awesomely hilarious!

Just found your blog from…somewhere, I can’t remember where, and I’m totally addicted to the sarcasm and the cute kids. Love it!

Beyond A Mommy
14 years ago

I find the elliptical SO MUCH HARDER than the treadmill! Oh and btw, you are at the gym, if it was me I’d say “good for me and have a smoothie and relax cause dude… getting out of the house is plenty of effort for one day!” LOL

Sarah
14 years ago

Sundresses, they are plentiful (and cute) at Target.

BSG: whawhawhaWHAT??? I didn’t know I was going to be tortured by that vision of a decimated Earth until 2009!! Dude, fuck the SciFi channel. Fuck them outright.

Kristin
Kristin
14 years ago

Your babies make my ovaries hurt. :)

I feel your Battlestar pain. Was I the only one going, “Dude! Duuuuuude! Should have seen that coming!” when the got to Earth?

Her Ladyship
14 years ago

Hahaha….no advice to give, but I love that you used “bag on.” Ah, that brings me back to the heady days of the 80s. Question: when you were growing up, was the ultimate insult to tell someone to scratch their neck? Where I did – LA – it was, and once someone said that to you, there was no coming back. You were just crushed by the weight of it.

MissAnna
MissAnna
14 years ago

I can only comment on the sundresses…Macy’s (in downtown) had some cute patterned ones with 1″ straps (in the Jrs section) and I noticed a ton of others (not sure about the straps) in the ladies section. Not that the weather has been sundress friendly recently.

Good luck with the kiddos…

MRW
MRW
14 years ago

1.

MRW
MRW
14 years ago

ACK! My computer went crazy, let me try that comment again:

1. hell no, the eliptical is probably better for your knees in the long run – less impact.

3. I have no idea what to do with my Friday nights absent BSG. If they drag this last season out any farther though I’m going to kill someone – too extreme? Maybe I need to have a bit less caffeine today…

MRW
MRW
14 years ago

OK final comment then I’ll stop clogging the comments – just want to second the recommendation for The Wire. It’s intense and awesome and one of the best shows I’ve ever watched. My husband and I watched all four seasons on DVD in a three month period because it’s that compelling. Sadly, Season 5 isn’t out until August, BG is out until 2009, Dexter doesn’t start again until September. Christ, it’s a desert out there!

Laurie
Laurie
14 years ago

In praise of the elliptical: it was my primary form of cardio when I lost enough weight to get myself from a tight size 6 to a loose size 2 wardrobe, and body fat of about 15.5%. Plus, you can flip through a magazine and even read a book, which isn’t so true for the treadmill (in my experience).

victoria
victoria
14 years ago

• Is it wimpy to choose the elliptical machine over the treadmill at the gym?

No. As long as your heart rate is appropriately elevated, the elliptical is preferable (easier on your joints).

• Cute sundresses that can be worn with a matronly bra (ie, no spaghetti straps allowed): do they exist?

Try BCBG at Pacific Place in Seattle, downtown. I have great luck there. Also try shopping bcbg.com.

renmen
renmen
14 years ago

wait. no BSG till WHEN???!!! i would respond to your other questions but i have to go kill myself now. why couldn’t they have made the last couple episodes into, like, TEN episodes. i tell you, so much happened all at once my head nearly exploded.

ok wait. i will recommend the fisher price rainforest jumperoo. not exactly an exersaucer, but good to tire out a baby and the music is cute instead of irritating…

killing self now.

GoingLoopy
14 years ago

Um, JB might hate this shit, but What Not to Wear is on for like three or four hours on Friday nights on TLC.

Also, look for sundresses at Target – I think they had some cute ones.

I think the elliptical kicked my ass harder than the treadmill when I was actually *cough* working out. Part of that is my own silly fear of eating shit on the treadmill, which makes me not want to incline it or go that fast. The elliptical, I didn’t feel like I was going to fall off, so I worked harder. Also, the treadmill = shin splints of death.

GoingLoopy
14 years ago

PS – the photo cuteness…I don’t really want offspring….but it’s a good thing you also discussed disgusting things like poop and pterodactyl noises, because those pictures could wear down my resistance.

Amy
Amy
14 years ago

Not much help on the questions…no time for a gym at present, exersaucer days a couple of years past, but let’s talk poop. For some comic relief, you should visit http://www.mcnultyquads.blogspot.com as they are currently having “Poop-a-palooza” with four 2yo’s! makes me laugh and so cherish the fact that I had mine one at a time. As for the pooping…they do get it eventually, but be prepared. I recently learned through my 6yo’s issues, that boys are pron to something called Chronic Childhood Constipation. Typically as a result of a stressful situation like, say, maybe, starting kindergarten. We’ve struggled all year with horrific stinky poop accidents that come to find out, he can’t control and has no idea they’re coming until it happens. It was really hard for him and I had great fears of him becoming the Stinky Kid at school. Apparently they withhold pooping which creates a blockage. Then they experience these “leaks” around the blockage. He had to have some high dose laxatives and is still on a maintenance dose of Miralax six months later. Hang in there, Riley will get it soon enough and then he’ll want a motorcycle!!!!

Kerri
Kerri
14 years ago

The only question I can address is the elliptical: No, for Heaven’s sake, it’s not wimpy. I have an elliptical at home, and with the right settings that thing can kick my ASS. Plus, the variety is probably good – and no impact (although when I was using it every day, my tail bone started hurting, and I think it was all the grindage from the continuous circular motion).

Leah
14 years ago

I never really considered the possible wimpy-ness of the elliptical. I prefer to just think of myself as kick-ass when I use it and not think about it any further. Now that I AM thinking about it, though, I have to admit that the treadmill kicks my ass somethin’ fierce… and that’s just walking. So yes, MAYBE doing the elliptical makes you a wimp… but hey, you and me both, sister… you and me both

Leslie
14 years ago

My son was three when he finally decided to start pooping on the potty and like Riley he had no problem going pee. I was complaining one day to my sister-in-law who is a child speech pathologist and she told me to put the potty in his favorite spot where he could see it easily and he’d start using it. I thought about it and realized that he always pooped over in a particular corner of the living room by his toy chest -so that’s where the potty went (with a big ‘ol towel underneath it) Now, I have to say I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a pint-size crapper in my living room but I swear to God it worked like a charm. Within a couple of days, my son was pooping on the potty in the living room. When I moved it to the bathroom I told him that he could still use it in there. The rest is history. Now the only problem I’m having is getting him to use public restrooms because he’s terrified of those self-flushing toilets. Sigh.

lisa-marie
14 years ago

The elliptical machine will give you a better workout than the treadmill (at least that’s been my experience), so no, it’s not wimping out.

Julie
Julie
14 years ago

I was watching a weight loss show called “X-Weighted” and the fitness trainer would NOT let them use the elliptical. They had to use the treadmill. He said he didn’t believe in the elliptical because it didn’t “simulate natual movement.” ?? Anyway, I’ve been wondering the same thing now, whether or not I’m cheating myself or if it’s just one person’s opinion.

Danielle-Lee
14 years ago

It is TOTALLY not wimpy to choose the elliptical over the treadmill. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s a better work out too!

Yes, there are sundresses that can be worn with the thick over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. I found a few at Kohls, one at target, and….I think someone said Old Navy?

The Evenflo exersaucers are not too annoying. not too many bells and whistles: http://www.evenflo.com/Homepage/ProductList/tabid/203/navid/4/Default.aspx?productid=c0a1efd8-a67a-4d54-a648-da23989b0809

Minnie
14 years ago

I am sure one of the other 90 commenters said something similar, but my old personal trainer said that the cardio machines, in order from best to not as good were: 1) Stair climber (not stairmaster, but that thing that actually has stairs on a conveyor belt thing. I hated that thing.) 2) Elliptical 3) Treadmill 4) Bike. I felt completely uncoordinated on an elliptical, and I hate stairs, moving or otherwise, so I normally went for the treadmill. I think bikes are boring unless you are outside or in a spinning class.

Dresses – have you checked out the sale pages at Anthropolgie.com? Cute dresses, more affordable prices.

Kristin
Kristin
14 years ago

I heard a good potty training tip recently, that the mom just puts out the kid’s potty and keeps pointing out how the kid is too little to use it. I thought that sounded like something to try.

Questions:
1. I think the elliptical is harder than the treadmill, but I guess it depends on how fast you go and if you use resistance.
2. I just got a sundress at Sears, which is not where I usually shop at all, but they were cute, and on sale- mine was not spaghetti strapped.

Victoria
14 years ago

No.
No.
Rent the old seasons.
None!

Amanda
Amanda
14 years ago

I did the Baby Einstein exersaucer, which can have the music turned off and is not overly cutesy or have unrecognizable cartoon animals.

Also, try upping the count to TWO M&Ms for a #2. Double the motivation, double the fun!

deanna
deanna
14 years ago

the great treadmill vs eliptical debate. to be honest, i think eiter is FINE! the idea is to get your heart rate up and get MOVING. whichever one does that for you is GREAT. i, for one, use both and occasionally run outside when the nyc weather isnt too oppressive. often ill warm up on the eliptical for 10 or 20 minutes, then move to the treadmill to finish up for a total of 40 minutes to an hour, depending upon on frisky i feel. i find the treadmill is easier to stomach if ive already got everything warmed up and pumping. i also intersperse some cycling [both outside on a REAL bike and inside in spinning] to keep myself from getting too bored. variety is SO IMPORTANT for me, when it coems to working out. i get bored WAY too quickly.

i always find ny&co to have cute, comfy sundresses that often work with regular bras. theyre cheap too! bonus!

im no help on the exersaucer thing, but as a pediatric nurse practitioner i can attest to the fact that ALL [otherwise normal] kids poop in the potty eventually. he’ll come around to it eventually. give him time and continue with the praise. he’ll get sick of sitting in a poopy diaper soon enough!

misguided mommy
14 years ago

No way we have a terradactyl at home too

Katie
Katie
14 years ago

We’re working on the poop-in-the-potty issue as well. One day he gets it, next he befouls 2-3 pairs of undies at daycare! Frustrating beyond belief, but he’s actually been better the last 2 days, so I have hope! He pooped in the potty last night and was so proud of himself, he wanted to call everyone! Maybe he’s finally got it, since he’ll be 3 next month! Now my 18 month old imitates big bro and actually peed in the potty last night, no prompting, just did it! WTH! If he is ready at this age, I will be praising the almighty that we’re out of the diaper stage, but I’m pessimistic and bet this is just a fluke and he’ll be just as troublesome to PT as big bro.

I found some really cute dresses at JC Pennys, and at Coldwater Creek, that aren’t too granny-looking, but have thicker straps. I have DD’s that require heavy duty support, so I understand what you’re looking for.

I love the treadmill, hate the eliptical, might just be my horrible sense of balance, but the elip makes me fall on my ass! At least with the treadmill I can stay upright!

We bypassed the saucer totally and got the Jumparoo. Both boys loved it and pretty much wore it out! We have the free-standing one with the kangaroo, it’s older but the new ones are about the same! Didn’t mind the music so much, it got drowned out by the boing-boing-boings of the boys bouncing and giggling hysterically!

ELC
ELC
14 years ago

I also have, and my son loves, the RainForest Jumperoo, I don’t even mind the insane music and light show that accompanies the cacophony of jungle animals. My problem with it is that it is SOO large that I have to twist it diagonal/downwards/sideways to get it through my doorways to move it from room to room. Even then it’s still scraping the paint off my walls & doorjams. I’d opt for the type that actually hangs from the doorjam next time, since it would be so much easier to move around or even travel with.

Jennifer
Jennifer
14 years ago

On the bribes, what if you told him “no corn for you until you poop it where it’s supposed to go?” Would that have an effect? Other than screaming? :-)

Amy
Amy
14 years ago

Believe it or not, I actually found a couple of cute, well-fitting dresses at Wal-Mart. Go figure, right? They were somewhere between 10 and 12 dollars, I think. Totally worth it. Really wide straps. Light and comfortable. Highly recommended.