Best thing to happen to me recently: I discovered the Twilight saga. Holy hell. I can’t believe I admitted that. But it’s true.

First, this post was fantastic! Last time I left my husband with our ONE kid he told me he was cranky when I got home, it took me 4 seconds to deduct the child was not cranky but hungry. I swear!
I have two happy moments for you, when I steped on the scale this am and it read 117 ( HOLLA! ) and last weekend we went to Colorado to visit some family and watching Nate (10 months) meet his cousins ages 2 and 4 was so fantastic. Ella, the oldest wanted to teach him everything she knew and share her pancakes and tuck him in and stroke his cheek and my god it was TOO much!
Good luck on your own, put that little on in the stroller and keep up your night time walk. That could help you stay sane.

I could have written this post, that is TOTALLY the way that N and I fight. And he is a pro at giving the silent treatment so I really just have to let things ride most of the time if I want him to ever speak to me again…

Watching the Olympics is making me happy, as did the recent weekend getaway N and I were able to take to San Antonio. WITHOUT KIDS. WOOT.

Oh my god, I could have written this. Between the drum corps he joined and the bowling on Wednesdays, and the weekend excursions, I sometimes feel like a single parent. Then he give me the stink eye when I DON’T get all the laundry done or the house picked up, because on the few occasions I do get to escape the house kid free and he’s left in charge, he goes out of his way to PROVE to me that I’m a shitty house keeper because HE CAN DO IT ALL. When he deigns to, that is.

Oops. I guess that’s kind of a sore spot.

P.S. You’re invited to dinner at my place.

OMG are you eavesdropping at my house???????

My favorite recent moment is when my surly, angry, demanding, and entitled 17 yr old son came back from Florida (vacation with his best friend’s family) and told me he missed me…..missed me so much he nearly called me the following day from work just to say hi.

Awwww……he DOES love me…….

The happiest event of my recent life was helping my parents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary by throwing them a kick-ass partay! That was fun. (And hard work.)(But mostly fun.)

Also, the Olympics are quite fun. I love watching athletes do amazing things. As an American, I guess I’m “rooting” for all Americans as they compete, but I really enjoy watching all the athletes from all over the world.

Did you tell him to pick stuff up, etc while you were gone? No? Then that’s the missing link. (If you DID ask for cleanup, explicitly, and it didn’t happen, then deduction from JB’s score.)

We used to go thru this, long ago. It took a while for me to get it across that I JUST DIDN’T CARE what the house looked like. And, if She did, She needed to tell me what was to get done, because it sure wasn’t happening if it was left up to me. Once she got over this thing about me taking the cleanup initiative, it all worked a lot better…

2 happiest moments lately…

First was when my 18 month old son was driving one of his little cars around the floor and ran it into one of our huskies. Then the car went up the tail all the way to between her ears at which point he said “Cah? (car) Hat? CAH HAT!” and fell over laughing at his own joke. Cracked me right up.

Second was when I went out to breakfast on Sunday with a couple that I’ve adopted as my grandparents that are both in their 80s. They’ve been married for 61 years and are held up regularly to everyone as an example of a good marriage that we should all be striving to emulate. I noticed that she wasn’t her normal chatty self and it finally came out that he was going to go visit their son several states away by himself for 2 months. (I’m not sure they even go to the bathroom without checking in on each other usually.) I asked him later what was going on and he said “I love her dearly but we have been absolutely together every day for 28 years since I retired. I’ve got to get away for a little while.” I can’t even tell you what finding that out did for me and how I feel like I’d like to ship my husband off somewhere on occasion!

Hoo boy, we fight like you guys. Except one of us who isn’t me gets all bent out of shape about things that don’t really matter while someone who is me starts deciding which body part I’d like to punch.

Good thing is our lives right now? We just adopted a dog; a yellow lab/ corgi mix with a corkscrew tail and a sweet disposition.

Having the first ultrasound for our second child yesterday afternoon was incredible. Seeing him for the first time made me smile a big, toothy, lip-quivering smile. Oh, and finding out that it’s a boy at 15 weeks was amazing! (Now my question is, who is having all these GIRLS to balance out the birth of all these BOYS? HUH? HUH?!)

Um, this post put a big grin on my face, because I was NODDING AT EVERY WORD. So true, so true, awesome.

No comment on the fights, except AMEN SISTER.

I would have to say the happiest thing in a while was Saturday, after having spent the day cleaning out our storage unit (while I was at a dance class and obviously couldn’t be expected to help), my husband came home and made me spaghetti and meatballs, a) using my mom’s meatball recipe (which kicks all sorts of ass, as she’s Italian) and b) did this even though he hates tomato sauce. And c) it was delicious.

I totally feel you. I’m giving my husband the silent treatment right now because I was at book club – with the baby – the other night and I came home and there was lettuce all over the floor, dishes in the sink, clothes (like his underwear! why???) all over the living room, things that needed to be folded in the dryer, and he was “tired” because he had to put the 3 year old to bed. Give me a fucking break. I told him I’m not the god damn maid. This is not the first time I’ve said such things.

Why the f can’t men multitask???? Why??!!!

Happy things? Hah! I think it was a few weeks ago when I left the house by myself and realized I could in fact keep driving. I didn’t, though.

First, I can tell you why IT IS that you get all that done when home alone w/ kids and he does not: BECAUSE YOU HAVE OVARIES. DUH.

As the mother of a 15-y-o (and the wife of a man who rarely, if ever, helped out around the house) (and when he did, he thought he deserved a freaking gold medal) (and he would declare things like: “Our kitchen has NEVER BEEN THIS CLEAN.”) I can tell you that learning to let go is the very best lesson you can equip yourself with. Because you’re going to be doing it a lot as your children get older. And it ain’t easy.

My inlaws have been married for almost 68 years. That’s more than a lifetime, yo. And there’s been no divorce in any of their children or grandchildren either. (OMG, the pressure.) What does it take to be married for 68 years? (Denial. A keen ability for DENIAL.) They say it’s just commitment. Deciding that you’re going to stay married no matter what – thru thick and thin (sick and sin). You & JB seem to have that. Plus, he’s got like the coolest wife on the planet, so it can’t be that hard for him.

Totally true about the husband/child care thing. Last week, my husband went to dinner with his family without me, as I had to stay home and take care of our 4 month old. He then called me from dinner, to ask if I would “let him” go to a hockey game later that night. As if I don’t “let him” do things. I was livid!

Looking forward to the Olympics each day. And, as I’m still drunk on being a new mom, spending time with my 4 month old.

I went surfing for the first time on a recent camping trip. I felt SO HAPPY. And alive. Does it get better than that?

BTW, I, too, have trouble with the Frosty Bitch setting. I would rather be out-and-out fighting.

Good thing: Watching my son laugh and chase after the older kids at the pot luck on Sunday afternoon, laughing out loud, then walking up and trying to BEEEEEP their belly buttons. We recently moved to be near family and friends, and times like that are one of the big reasons we did it.

The whole “Dad gets to leave at the drop of a hat while Mom must fill out forms in triplicate and apply to the State Attorney General to get an afternoon to herself” is the biggest fear I have about parenting — and we don’t even have our baby HOME yet.

And my husband is fantastic, don’t get me wrong, and we share the household tasks equally (without any exhortation on my part; it just happens naturally), but still I have a dire fear that we will fall into this trap. Because it seems that EVERYONE DOES.

As for the happy moments, I wrote something really cheesy about the miracle of international adoption, but I have now erased it because it was too earnest to see the light of day, and people can get plenty of that from my own site; I needn’t infect yours with my Pollyannaish musings.

Am late to game, but still want to play! Happiest event in my woe-fully single and lately uneventful (read: heading straight to spinsterhood) life… A voicemail from my 3 year old niece wishing me a happy birthday. Don’t know why, but it made me so f-ing happy to hear that little voice (sounding like a little laday, not a little girl). Yes, I’ve listened to the message a million times.

OMG. I share your annoyance about husbands who are somehow physically unable to accomplish any other task besides child supervision when alone with the kids. Come on, THE DISHWASHER DOESN’T EMPTY ITSELF.

But anyway! Happiness = watching Olympic swimming, my new discovery of C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Shine in the Cinnamint flavor, and the fact that I am getting a delivery from gap.com today.

What has made me happy lately? Buying an original signed X-Files script on eBay. Because, yes, I am a big X-Files nerd SO TAKE THAT YOU LOUSY STINKIN’ CRITICS WHO UNFAIRLY BASHED THE NEW MOVIE AND DROVE PEOPLE AWAY FROM THE THEATERS BEFORE THEY EVEN GAVE THE FILM A CHANCE!

(Ok, that part did NOT make me happy. Maybe I should have stuck with the original topic?)

i walked into my boys’ bedroom this morning, and was greeted by three gummy grins. miles still had his pacifier in his mouth, oliver shrieked a little, and linus rolled onto his back from the sheer joy of seeing mama.

i’m not half as happy in the morning as they are, but seeing them helps de-grumpify me a lot.

I love these “its not just ME” moments :). Man I tell ya – 30-40 minutes to go for a run on Saturday has been a major struggle for..um…5 years. I do it every weekend. We both agree fitness is a good thing. But every. damn. weekend:

Me: I’m going now. Okay?
Him: hmmmf.
Me: I’ll only be half and hour.
Him: Just hurry up. Grumble.

Argh.

Happiness- me and my baby naked baby girl sitting in 6 inches of river throwing rocks downstream. no one else around. Heaven.

I’m sorry – do you live my life?!? My husband is EXACTLY the same way!!!!! Maybe it’s just men…

I have to say the happiest moment(s) of my life is picking up my little guy at daycare and seeing him smile and run to me and say ‘momma’. Gets me through the day…

speaking of marriage, I got hitched! :)

formerly Stephanie Brown on your comments page…I am now Stephanie Parnell! :)

That has definately been what is making me smile (and all things associated…).

Even though I already know how it ends, watching Michael Phelps swimming via msnbc.com makes me smile, gives me chills, and then reduces me to a blubbering idiot when the national anthem plays.

My coworkers must think I’m a total freak – headphones on, diligently pretend-working, mascara streaming down my cheeks… Pretty.

I just found out that my long time friend from middle school is expecting her first child, so that was a pretty amazing moment of glee.

Also, my boyfriend just celebrated 6 months of being a non-smoker – also very, very awesome.

I saw my niece this weekend who is turning 1 soon. I hadn’t seen her in 3 months and she’s grown into a raspberry-blowing, head-bobbing, kitty-chasing cherub. She is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen and I will spoil her for as long as she’ll let me.

That being said, as much as I love her, I’m just not sure I could ever have one of my own. My little sister works 24/7 to keep that baby happy and healthy. It’s so much work I’m amazed at how she does it.

We got a Great Dane puppy when she was 5 weeks old. We already have two cats. Finally, almost 10 months later, one of the cats has been seen curled up, asleep, in the hollow of the dog’s throat. They’re apparently completely adjusted to each other now. The other cat is taking a bit more time, but seeing a dog and a cat actively seeking out each others’ company is really great.

I was just thinking about this yesterday, in fact. I think when men have kids, they continue to think of themselves as individuals first, and part of a family second, so they obviously don’t have any trouble claiming individual time. Women tend to think of themselves as part of the family first and individuals second (if at all) so they are reluctant to claim individual time and if they do they feel guilty. And I think the men see it that way, too — hence the guilt trips for the women. How this gets fixed I have no idea. My own husband doesn’t spontaneously do housework (I’ve come to believe it must be some kind of neurological disorder where he can’t see trash on the counter), but he absolutely makes sure family stuff comes before personal time. I lucked out.

Recent smiles on my face: the winning relay team. My 10-month-old son’s diapered butt disappearing around the corner as he tries to get me to chase him. 70-degree sunny weather in August.

I had deep fried Oreos at a fair this weekend. It was basically Oreos wrapped in a funnel cake and topped with powdered sugar and chocolate sauce. I was v. happy for about 5 minutes until the stomach ache kicked in!

My happy news: We are pregnant!

And on that note, I will KILL my husband if he acts this way, but I know he will. He already makes plans for after the baby will be here, and I think, are you mental?

What you described in this post is what I’d like out of a relationship one day – commitment, kids who dip that commitment in titanium, and fights that are just a bump in the road. Even though my facial expression would be frozen in LIVID over the weekend status quo.

Happiest recent moment: I was going to write about going up to Stinson Beach on Sunday to join family at a beach house, but as I was writing this post a homeless man walked past my window, pushing his stolen grocery cart. He had the best singing voice this side of the Broadway stage.

Seeing my newly adopted ex-racing greyhound discover the joys of swimming in Lake Michigan, and watching her trot along in the surf. Yay for dog retirement!

THIS:
http://jenacide.blogspot.com/2008/08/can-you-see-why-i-want-three.html

That always puts a big fat grin on my face! :-D

Men can. not. multi-task. It will get better when the kids are older, but he still won’t notice when their pants are 3″ too short or remember doctor names/phone numbers.

I tell my hubby I keep him around for his entertainment value. He comes up with funny voices and uses that to get the kids to do chores and it ends up making all of us laugh.

We moved our second son (17 months) to a booster seat and out of his highchair. I swear to God, I cannot stop staring at him when he eats his meals. He looks like some new specimen of human or something. His older brother (4 years) just doesn’t get what the big deal is since he (the big kid) has been sitting a the table for ages, but I don’t know, there is something about my baby no longer really being a baby. He has become this fully functioning human who now eats with utensils, on plates in a chair. It just slays me. Of course with this milestone came the inevitable one of learning to take off his diaper. We almost had an artistic poop rendering on the walls last night. Not so adorable.

My trip to the Bay Area (Berkeley, SF, & Napa) Thurs-Monday last week was pretty nice. ALthough I think I gained ten pounds and now fear the scale.

Anyway, I had an epiphany on the trip. You know how you wrote about how Riley was terrified of the fireworks over the Fourth of July? He kept saying that he “did NOT LIKE them,” and then at school couldn’t stop talking about how awesome they were? You wrote this really hilarious commentary on that discrepancy, about how you were such bad parents that your kids were developing alter personalities.

I have a hypothesis as to what is going on with Riley: he experiences something terrifying or painful, but survives, then feels like a hero, so that in retrospect the experience (terrible at the time) becomes a treasured memory.

I realized this on our Bay Area trip. We were on what turned out to be a 13 mile hike in Point Reyes (we intended more like a 7 mile hike but miscalculated). I have arhtritis in my hips that was really flaring painfully by mile 5, and was almost unbearable at mile 9. At that point, with four unthinkably excruciating miles left, I proposed to my husband that we start jogging, on the theory that endorphins would help alleviate the pain. I was right: it worked, and the last four miles were relatively painless. Also I felt like an amazon. ;-)

Anyway, that murderous hike/run is now my favorite memory of the whole trip. It was horrible at the time, I was struggling with the urge to complain incessantly, but I found a way through, and now I look back on it as the highlight of the trip — better than the gourmet meals, luxurious resort, gorgeous views, etc., because it mad eme feel powerful. (I had the same experience in Tuscany last year: a 7 mile hilly hike, punctuated by a fall, a bloody knee, a nearly-missed bus back to Orvieto that would have stranded us in the middle of nowhere, and the discovery that Italians have nothing comparable to Neosporin, is my favorite memory — better than the art and fine food we enjoyed while we were there.)

So maybe that’s what’s provoking Riley’s revisionism: the retropsective satisfaction of having mastered an overwhelming experience. Just a theory. (Also an mbarrassing revelation that I think about your blog when I should be enjoying stunning cliff-top views of the Pacific Ocean.)

I agree with all of this BUT, I have to say that in some ways I am to blame for the lopsided things work in our house. I tend to underestimate my hubby on the childcare thing and I think due to the fact that I double-check everything and plan so he has an easy go when I’m gone has been part of the problem. I’m enabling him to be a jackass.

So, next weekend I will be gone for 3 days while I walk in the Breast Cancer 3-Day and I’m not doing a damn thing to help him prepare for my being gone. In the past I would spent the previous week making sure that when I left that all the laundry was done, dinners were planned for easy assembly, the house was clean, etc. This time I’m not doing any of it (except for making sure my own clothes are clean). It’s been really hard for me to do – and I find myself holding back from making lists and such for him. But, he is perfectly cabable and I know that he and M will have a blast with their “just us” time.

Still doesn’t mean I can just up and leave for short little trips and outings without checking in with him first, but really he is pretty good about checking in with me, too.

Oh, and your tweet “Michael Phelps = butterface.” I couldn’t agree more.

Oh, shit. Forgot the happy moment…

It was last night as M was using her new skill of speaking in scentences” “Hi Mama! Love you!” “Hi, Daddy! Love you too!”

“Michael Phelps = butterface. I’M SORRY LADIES BUT IT’S TRUE.”
–Who is looking at his face?

Went to a Grizzly Bear show on Thursday and we are all now desperately in love with them and talking about them non-stop for the past 4 days. It’s like high school crushes! That sort of fun is pretty freaking awesome.

It was this morning. I left for my run at 5:45 – by 6:05 when I was halfway through my run the skies opened up and buckets of rain fell from the sky, so the remaining 20 minutes of my run were a complete sloshfest…I was socked from head to toe by the time I came home. When I got to the door my husband was waiting for me with a big towel so I could immediately dry off and not start shivering. It was a small thing, but it was awesome at 6:15 this morning.

I am so unable to think about happy things after reading this sentence: “WHY is it always totally okay for my husband to leave the house on his own during the weekend — without any sort of need to ask for permission” because…um, HELL YES!

Even though reading this has woken up my inner ranty bitch, I’m so glad I’m not the only one.

My son is officially a walker as of this last week or two…at night when my husband gets home I catch both of us stopping whatever we’re doing to watch him walk, dance, or do whatever funny little thing he’s doing at the moment. We’re not sappy people, but it’s pretty cool to realize that for now, our kid is awesome and learning things (hopefully we’re somewhat responsible for these things).

Oh, god. What Lawyerish said: this is my biggest fear, too. And to that I say: OH HELL NO.

People. It is Two Thousand and Eight. Don’t put up with that shit from your husbands! They made those babies too! Come on now! Grr.

Happies: I’m going to the beach soon! Yay.

Mah baby slept from 11 – 5:55 the other night, which makes me VERY happy. Of course, she won’t deign to repeat it for a while, but I enjoyed it when it happened. Also my sweet son starts school tomorrow and he’ll continue to grow and improve, I hope. So that’s two happy things!

OK – so I’m a bit of a lurker. I love your stuff even though my hubby and I don’t have any kids. But your post today made me feel like my husband isn’t the only crazy hubby on the planet. We have the exact same fight-process and go through the exact same issues about doing stuff around the house. Thank you!!!

Husband and I just tend to grumble grumble gripe and sit in stoney silence until one of us breaks (no kids to fill the air with noise and chatter even).

I think it the general strategy that spouses use to irritate the shit out of each other. It works well. Like when he has the nerve to breath and it makes me spit fire.