SO sweet! I love when kids want to show you their imaginary life. I want that life, still. :)

I’m skipping past the comments to just say this…

From the mother of one toddler boy to another:

-He’s a boy
-He’s a toddler
-He’s absolutely NORMAL. End of sentence.

My son is going through the SAME thing. It’s a phase people. Why does everything have to be labeled these days? Why can’t we just let kids be kids??? Goddamn.

Kids are so funny the way their minds work, and who knows what it was about the ‘goat game’ that upset him. Something like that happened with my oldest years ago, and it turned out it was the fact that Mommy took the lead that freaked him out a bit. I’d told him that they lions were coming across a field, the same lions that he’d been taming and making jump through fire. He began to cry, I asked what’s wrong and he said that ‘Mommy saw the lions.’ I scared him because I made it too real. Hmmm.

Anyways, adorable boys and about your writing about your loved ones and such, well we are only seeing a small slice of the pie. We don’t see the whole person, and I’m sorry but I hate people who are ‘diagnosers’. They see disorders and disablities where every they look because a friend, a family member or even themselves had something similar and they may have their hearts in the right place, but the panic that they can cause is not right.

people are four-dimensional beings, whether they are 3 days old or 103 years old. it is impossible to convey all of that in this two-dimensional internet world. the innate potential of children–watching them develop into a totally unique beings with their own ideas, thoughts, actions, and personalities–is a thoroughly beautiful thing. i think youre placing an impossible task on your plate, if youre trying to get all of that up and into this “two-dimensional internet land.” while child development is not always so pretty (see: goat bashing), its true and awesome and i VERY MUCH enjoy your willingness and ability so lovingly share it with all of your readers. i say keep up the good work, shower your kids, husband and family with unending love, and dont get so caught up with what we all think out here.

For what it’s worth (not much, I know!)- Riley sounds just like my oldest when he was Riley’s age, espcially re the loud noises. He’s almost 12 now and still hates really loud noises but is also planning on getting his pilot’s license, loves Seahawk and Mariners games and lives life each day just fine. Riley is fine, normal and a wonderful little boy. I’ve never read anything on here that I thought portrayed him in any other light. All of his little traits seem very age appropriate to me and my kids span the ages of 7-12 so I’ve seen a lot. Enjoy your wonderful amazing boys and keep writing- we get that you use a snapshot in time to write a post. We all do that.

You know, you’re doing better than “right for your kids”. Your honesty about working, being a mom, and daily life is what brings me back day after day. You write what I think most of the time and it’s refreshing to know I’m not the only one who thinks those things. (Feeling like your doing a half-assed job at working AND being a mom? That is my M.O.) Most of the people who read your blog know what complicated little beings kids are. A post is just a tiny snapshot. If I wrote about how my child demanded cake or a popsicle for breakfast this morning, I’m sure people would think I feed her that stuff all the time. (Um, no. But really, there are times when I seriously consider the Bill Cosby argument about cake for breakfast. It has eggs! And milk!)

So, really, you are an inspiration. And your kids are so lucky to have you as a mom.

I haven’t been blogging for very long, in comparison, but I am constantly going through this myself, how do I accurately portray things (while protecting that which really needs to be protected) so that people don’t paint a very warped picture of my life. It’s just so frustrating (for me) when I post something and it’s misunderstood in such a way that all the comments come back more puzzling than helpful. And I’m frustrated with myself. Why couldn’t I do a better job at capturing things, why can’t I be better at this whole thing when it’s something I really love. It’s also something I’ve definitely thought of in terms of our baby (due in February).

That was me. And I really am sorry if I upset you. FYI: I’m NOT a diagnoser (is that even a word?) I am however, a true believer in early intervention – it has done amazing wonders for my son. I love your writing and check you often during the day. And follow you on twitter. I love how open, fun and honest you write about your family – please don’t stop or edit. I again I apologise for upsetting you – that wasn’t my intent.

Feel free to contact me…..Momma.2.boy@gmail.com

I had a “friend” tell me that there was definately something wrong with my kid…”he’s autistic or something!”. While my husband was furious, I just kept saying “he’s a boy!, boys play differently than girls, he’s totally normal!” Years later this woman is still sorry for her comments. My son is a healthy, rowdy, very active 7 year old. I always hope that the people we surround ourselves with support us and nurture us. That woman saw the error of her ways and cried for not being more supportive – god forbid something was wrong or different about my child – I would hope she would support me – not tear me down. You are right to be protective of your children. You deserve to be supported and nurtured. Even though we don’t know each other, I find humor and comfort in your stories that are so familiar to mine. Thank you and take comfort in knowing that there are many women/mothers who understand your feelings. We’re right there with you.

I think we all have unusual little fears, especially toddlers. In most cases it’s something entirely normal, in some it’s not. I’m so thankful for all the moms in the blogosphere who are here telling stories about THEIR kids so we can all learn from our collective experiences. You’re doing a great job portraying your children. They sound beautiful!

Dude, toddlers are just like that. One kid I nannied for went through a phase where he was terrified of how his smoothie had a tendency to seep up into the straw and spill into the cup. It was every day for two weeks. And then suddenly it was over. Their minds have a lot to process. Don’t worry about him. He’s awesome.

Linda,
I, for one, think your whole family sounds nothing but wonderful. I read your posts and know that there is so much more to your life but what you do share makes it all sound real and relatable. Never for one moment do I think you portray your family as caricatures.
Relax, you are doing a FABULOUS job making us all want to be a.) your husband b.)your best friend c.)your kid d.)your sister etc.
Keep it coming – we love you!
~Sara

My almost-3-yr old boy occasionally freaks out about the ‘wions’ in his room. Sometimes it works to chase them out, once in a while I can convince him that they are friendly lions and we can all go nite-nite.

Kids have the greatest imaginations. I love this age; finally getting a peek at what is going on in that busy little brain.

Don’t change a thing! You are doing right by your children in this blog. It doesn’t matter what you right about, some people will offer unsolicited advice anyway. But I do understand as a Mom there are just days that the unsolicited advice hurts even when you know it doesn’t apply to your situation.

Keep up the great writing. Your stories are great and your kids are going to love this journal some day when they are grown. Don’t worry, they will know you better than anyone out here reading this and they will know exactly what you meant and how you felt when you wrote about their story.

By the way, with two kids of my own (who are just a little older than yours), I can relate almost every single post back to one of my own experiences. That is what makes reading your blog so much FUN!

Thanks for this. I’m still trying to navigate the waters that is blogging about my kids as they grow up, too. But I completely agree–we tend to create an “image” of the people we write about online. Whether it’s intentionally or not. But just to reassure you–my daughter (about a week younger than Riley) has the same issues with loud noises. Completely normal kid besides that, but then you turn the vacuum on or flush the toilet or even just talk too loudly and there is the immediate hands-to-the-ears freak out. It’s kinda nice to know that other kids her age are experiencing this and that maybe it’s just a normal stage in some 3-year-olds’ development.

I remember when my youngest was three and was wildly terrified of bumble bees. She would scream and shake in terror when she would see them. Once we went to a family-style restaurant with her and they had a person dressed in bee costume…and OH MY GOD my kid went nuts and threw herself to the floor shaking and screaming ” Oh no — get bumbee away from me”. My kid is a completely normal 14 year old now…

Do what you need to do and what makes you feel comfortable, but I, for one, never assume I “know” your family based on what you write. We’re all multi-dimensional people and I don’t expect or believe that what you write about you or your family members comes close to depicting their entire personalities. You give a snippet here and there, maybe get some valuable or not-so-valuable advice from your readers, and that’s that. Since I’m not a blogger, maybe I can’t relate to your concerns but wanted to let you know some of us don’t form opinions one way or another.

That picture is adorable.

I completely understand where you’re coming from here, and I think any of us with loved ones and potential children think about it. You’ve done a beautiful job, in my eyes, for what it’s worth. I think Dylan and Riley sound like bright, funny, wonderful kids to be around. They sound loved, well cared-for and are very lucky. I love the way you write about them.

Further, it constantly upsets me that people feel that it’s acceptable to borderline diagnose other people — and other people’s children — based on such snippets on a website. It’s true, we all see things through our own lens, but I’d appreciate if everyone could have a LITTLE more self-awareness on that front, and learn when to keep their mouths shut. And diagnosing VIA THE WEB is one of those times.

Hi. I don’t know if you will even see this comment or not because there’s so many others here already but here goes anyway. My oldest son is also very afraid of loud noises. Dogs barking, loudly flushing toilets, things slamming – it’s pretty crazy actually. But the part that confuses me the most is that he himself is BY FAR the LOUDEST thing around. How he doesn’t scare himself with all of his yelling and caterwalling is beyond me. Anyway, before I get all mushy here I also have to say that I think you do a great job at doing “right” by your kids. You’re so honest about the whole motherhood thing and that’s very refreshing. There’s been so many times that I’ve read a post and felt exactly the same way and that’s a really good, comforting feeling – knowing that you’re not alone – or crazy, or whatever. I’m rather new to blogging and still trying to figure it all out and when I get even 1 comment on my blog I almost pee my pants with excitement. But I’m glad that I started blogging and have found sites like yours because it’s a blessing.

Cute pic! I remember being afraid of a lot of random shit when I was a kid. Especially, this battery operated puppy my grandma gave me. That little fucker would bark and run at me. Anyhoo, as I’m sure you know, kids at that age have a hard time understanding made up vs real. Maybe he thought that something was coming at him he couldn’t see? I think you do a wonderful job portraying your awesome family, so whatev.

If it makes you feel any better (in the random childhood fears department), my son is scared of KOOSH BALLS of all things, and any item in the koosh ball milieu. (I am, however, an awful mother, because I secretly find this to be hilarious.)

Also? The baby goats story is perhaps the cutest thing I’ve read in quite a while.

I think about this all time, whether I’m writing my own post or reading someone else’s. I always keep in mind that this is just a slice of a story from one person’s point of view. That’s what’s lovely. That’s why we all read you. Your point of view, the slices you chose to tell are, at turns, hysterical, touching, illuminating, commiserating, and sometimes all four at once. I think you balance it all very well and I hope you trust your readers enough to get that there are always more layers, always more to say.

Oh, and I have very sensitive hearing. Have my whole life. My daughter is apparently the same way. So we talk about it and she has learned to cover her ears very well (first fingers pressing that little flappy bit, rest of fingers covering on top)!

My almost 3-year-old son suddenly can’t tolerate loud noises either. Everything from my hairdryer to the beaters makes him plug his ears with his fingers in fright. I am sure this is just one of those quirky stages. Kids are WEIRD. Weird is normal. :) Not that you were worried. I’m just saying. I suppose I was happy to read that Riley has the same issue.

Maybe it helps that I’m not a mom and most of my experience with kids is being one. But I read the previous post (RSS feeds do wonders for that) and just marveled at how complex people (specially the pint sized ones) can be.

As for the fear thing, well… I’ve found out recently that when my security blanket is gone (been there for years and I didn’t even realize), I’m afraid of things even though I should know better.

Anyone would seem like a caricature of themselves if you were only to read one blog entry about them. Read a few entries though and I don’t think anyone could help but fall in love with your kids. Riley seems so bright and kind and curious. I’m even developing a soft spot for JB, requests for BJs written out in french fries notwithstanding.

My little person? Used to be terrified of the Hoover. Then one Christmas my parents bought him a little Dirt Devil of his own and that was the end of it. Any ideas how we can get him to stop with the “tell my friends to shush it, Daddy” at bedtime EVERY F’ING NIGHT (and the friends? Elmo, Cookie, and about 50 other stuffed animals he insists must sleep in his bed)?

I love your stories about the boys (all three of them!) And I feel you write very clearly in a way that is entertaining, but it’s also clear when there is exaggerating or sarcasm, so I trust that there’s more to your stories, just like anything in life. I’ve never felt that you paint a negative or clouded picture of your children & husband. You’ve pointed out the good with the bad, and you can have a sense of humor about it all. I truly enjoy your honesty and humor. It makes it so easy for the rest of us to relate to you.

To me this feels similar to the situation you had with the nasty comment (I am not calling this new comment nasty) on your fitness mantra post. There you were able to see very clearly: this was a problem/issue that the commenter had that they were venting.

It is of course much more difficult when the topic is your CHILD. In my opinion you paint a vibrant, colorful, and very full picture of your family and I’ve been reading for a long time. Of course you have to constantly *think* about how and what you’re saying. That’s why you have loyal fans; you are serious and thoughtful about your craft and your readers are loyal and love you for it!

Love the picture of the boys on the couch…your little baby is turning into a little man!

Charlotte’s preschool asked if I wanted her tested for the Sensory Perception Disorder and I said sure, for all the same behaviours and personality traits you spoke about Riley having. So similar, so similar. Assessed: shy, sensitive, sensitive to lots of stimulation, noise especially, lots of kids around at one time (birthday parties), and happens to have acute hearing (I said BIONIC? COOL!). Ultimately she is shy and sensitive and hears very well, she is a combo of mom and dad and pre-school has made her less sensitive, but just as my hair is naturally brown or something close to it, she is a sensitive, deep feeling lovely kid, who yells FUCK in the middle of McDonald’s playland which was one of the proudest moments of my parental life. It is who she is, and I figure it is our job as parents, grand parents, cousins, teachers, what-have-you to help her when she needs it. I don’t talk about it much on my blog either, sorry to hijack yours.

ALSO, as you know, she will not shit on the potty. Related??? :-) maybe.

much love

xo

Sorry, I wanted to add, we would accept her and love her and help her no matter what she needed, or if she was given a label or diagnosis. I am not saying it wouldn’t be difficult, but it would be done. We love the little shitter.

I didn’t see your earlier entry, but I’m sure the “helpful” commenter didn’t know what they were doing.

You kids don’t come off as characters (JB kinda does, and it’s hilarious, but not the boys), they come off as little boys learning about the world.

That little goat scenario is a perfect example. He doesn’t think of new avenues because he doesn’t know he can think about them yet. And he wasn’t sure if goats were really coming or not because he hasn’t fully grasped pretending and how thinking works.

It’s perfectly normal for three year olds to be afraid of a ton of things. They don’t have the thinking processes to know whats up.

I mean, if you told me a bunch of goats were coming up over that horizon, and I couldn’t fully understand the concept, I’d be running like hell, too.

Goats are scary.

me, a twenty one year old with no baby experience except being a nanny and having a brand new nephew, THINK YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB! if that means anything, great! It’s the truth.

Riley looks so BIG in that picture. And Dylan, soooooo cute (glad my kid isn’t the only one perpetually covered in drool).

I’m always worried that some day my kids will grow up and get mad that I blogged about them. It seems like I shed them in a negative light since the blog is the place where I go to vent and even though I try to put a comical spin on the stories, they ALWAYS come out sounding like I’m bitching about my kids. I feel you about not wanting to portray them the wrong way, it’s a tough balance.

Kids are scared of the strangest thing. Mine got scared in the middle of Pinky Dinky Doo the other day for no apparent reason. Weird.

I think Riley’s symptoms are a factor that HE’S THREE and they are binary – off or on. I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s all a phase and it’s all changing and don’t let the bastards grind you down. You’re doing fine. He’s three. And Dylan will be one. And he’ll have a whole new bunch of “issues” and “things” and the landscape keeps changing and all you can do as a parent is roll with it and keep changing your strategies. You’re fine. They’re fine, healthy, and lovely.

Let’s get one thing straight, JB is a mother fucking fence leaping, nuts grabbing, leering manly man, and anything you say to the contrary is pure bull shit. My mental caricature of JB is what keeps me going on this blog when you get all, OMG my VAGINA!!!! it’s so hard feeling all these emotions and raising little humans and decorating and home making and shit!!! LOLZORZ!!!11111

I like JB just the way you describe him, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t burst my bubble. I for one try and live my life to some ridiculous, imaginary, manly cliche. Don’t fuck it up. I think JB would second me on this one.

As for your kids, let’s be real, they are just kids. They are like women but even more so in the fact that no one really knows what they are thinking. Just tattoo a random Calvin and Hobbes strip on their forehead and call it accurate. Also, maybe you need to take a step back from your blog and remember that it’s just some other jack asses opinion, like mine, that you get here in the comments. They don’t really mean shit when it comes down to it, because if you can take an objective look around the world, and I believe you can, then you will see that even out of the fifty percent of people who mean well, ninety nine percent of those are still idiots. You do just fine, and much like that other post where some cunt told you to get off your high horse for actually getting unfat, you need to go ahead and piss all over that shit, stand by your original statement, and tell them to fuck off cause your kids are the shit. Guess what, kids have quirks, and sometimes they even turn out to be loud mouthed assholes like myself, but in the end you know you did a really good job parenting them. I can’t speak for everyone, but I look up to you for your kid raising skills, cause children scare the shit out of me, and I can only hope I do as good a job as you are doing.

Off topic but funny

Fake Disney movie trailer for the Sarah Palin story
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/26/fake-disney-movie-tr.html

Btw, is anyone else slightly creeped out by Josh?

That picture is so adorable.

Obviously I don’t know you, but from what I have read on your blog you are such a great mom. I love how honest you are about the frustrations of being a working mom, and your glimpses into how strange and wonderful kids are. Like Riley with his goats. Too cute.

Finally, I find this modern tendency to turn every behavior that isn’t “normal” into a “disorder” extremely troubling.

No Lesley, we love Josh, and I am probably related to him, in an inbred redneck hillbilly kinda way, lol!
And Linda, we all knew you were lying about your kids all this time, cause nobody’s kids can be that perfect. And we know you have professional male models for all the pictures on this blog. (And I’d bet those aren’t even your own rock hard abs in the pictures, someone is goooood at photoshop huh?)
Seriously, we all love coming here and reading all your trials, tribulations, and triumphs, and I for one had the longest couple days in the world when you disappeared and had Riley, and worried about how it was going with Dylan, and was hitting the refresh button like a crack monkey to get updates……..we all love ya, and JB, well, I still think he just mixed up the JB to make it BJ by mistake. (You know, cuz he would never be dirty minded. Not at dinner.) LOL

I wondered what happened to the last post–I saw the few “teaser” sentences in the email announcement for it and was looking forward to reading it, because I also have a fearful preschooler. He is especially afraid of loud noises and–most out there–afraid of things hanging from the ceiling of stores. I have no idea where that one came from, but we just deal with it. The loud noises one seems fairly common among kids, and I remember being scared of them myself when I was little–one of those manifestations of not being totally in control of one’s environment and at the mercy of the big people around you. Anyway, there is Occupational Therapy for everything and I’m sure if my son’s fears were out of control we would consider having him “evaluated,” but really, he just seems like a normal preschooler. Who knows, maybe we are deluding ourselves (my husband and I, that is). Riley has never sounded anything but normal to me, in the snippets of everyday life you share here.

josh=wonderful;not creepy

As lots of other reaaders have said: do not fret, the sum total of your posts give a very nicely balanced portrait of your boys.

I didn’t see the previous post or comments, but I wouldn’t be too hard on the commenter in question. One of my children had a problem with his bowel that first showed as chronic constipation. It took months of ‘wrong’ treatments and tests to find out the real issue, which was corrected by surgery. The thing is, whenever I read a ‘mommy blog’ that mentions a constipated child, I want to comment with something like ‘have you had him/her checked for this?’ but I never do – not wanting to freak people out over what is 99.99% of the time just normal body function. But I really wish somebody with good intentions and prior exxperience had pointed me in the right direction earlier on.

Also: Josh rocks.

Ugh. I didn’t see the first post, but had to comment anyway. Someone once told me that my daughter had that disorder. The woman was a leader in a parents group I used to go to. Even though I knew in my gut that she didn’t have it, that woman had me so freaked out that we scheduled an appointment with a child behavior specialist.

Know what she told us? That she DOESN’T have it, but that she is really bright. She recommended a few books for us to read and gave us some tips to deal with the behavior.

I see that woman (from the parent group) sometimes and my blood boils just thinking of what a stupid f***ing comment she made and how wrong she was.

All kids are different – why does everything have to be a disorder?!

I think Riley has a healthy, vivid imagination. (which could make him a great writer like his mama some day.)
My almost-4-yo does too. Sometimes, though, I have to reel him back to reality when he gets lost in his play. Once we were at a playdate and the friend was pretending to be a dog and chasing him. Even thought the kid never even touched my child, as the game went on, my boy got more engrossed in the game and was eventually terrified of this ‘dog’.
Definately a downside of the creative mind.

Just so you know~ my child had an incident at school (it was only about his 3rd day there) and I walked in and he was BAWLING. I, of course, tried not to grab him and run from there promising that he would NEVER have to go back to school… The teacher told me they were singing a “quiet-loud” song and all of a sudden the kids would scream certain parts of the song after whispering the verse before. Broke my heart. But we taught him that if things get loud, to put his hands or fingers over his ears. He has done this a few times since then, but has gotten a LOT better.

When he was born, he failed his hearing tests… for a while. We kept taking him back and I know its common but I was a new mom and I thought for sure that my child was going to have hearing problems.

Yeah, he grew way the hell out of that. He would jump at the SMALLEST things (my dad sneezing, the door slamming, etc) Now, I know that he has a “sensitive nervous system” and some abrupt loud things just scare him more than it scares others. Oh well. We don’t pay any attention to it really and he just learns how to deal with loud noises now. That is all. (completely NOT saying that that’s what Riley has, but wanted to let you know that all kids deal with things differently… maybe he just doesn’t LIKE loud noises … completely normal… hell, I don’t like some loud noises)

P.S. You’re doing great ;)

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