I was rambling to JB last night about how challenging Dylan is lately — a mostly good-natured baby for sure, but always wanting something, no longer content to bounce in his chair or pound on the exersaucer for more than a few minutes at a time before making his fussy “HEHHH, HEHHH, HEHHHH” sound that makes my brain feel like someone’s slowly shoving pieces of it through a paper shredder — and how hard it is to deal with his nonstop needs for changes and meals and entertainment while Riley begs me to sit with him and read a book or build yet another towering stack of Legos and I kind of feel like I often end up shortchanging everyone. I get irritated with the baby, who yells to be fed but then acts like I’ve set him on fire when I get him situated in his chair and continues to bitch me out between each and every blessed bite; I get irritated with Riley, who seems to be in some sort of nonstop talking stage, talk talk talk talk talk talk talk oh god with the talking, and he’s even started with the “why?” thing (“Hey Mommy? Hey Mommy? Hey Mommy? Why’s that window?” Don’t bother trying to get the details, like why’s that window what? Open? Shut? Existing? See-through? Because forget it, ask for clarification and you get “Why’s that tiny ALLIGATOR? Hey! Where’s my yellow ball? Is the moon up? Where’s Daddy? Why’s that, why’s that, why’s that SANDWICH.” It’s like talking with someone who has taken a large portion of both methamphetamines and LSD) and having him chatter in my ear while I’m frowningly steering spoonfuls in Dylan’s mouth and Dylan’s whipping his head around to hear about the fucking window and arrrrgh, bananas on the wall again.

I went on to explain at great length about how I don’t wish for Dylan’s babyhood to go by more quickly, god no, he’s already eight months old and how did that happen (“Why’s that eight months old?”), it’s just that I am thinking that I am maybe not so great at multitasking this exact age combination of children and it’s just really haaaaaaaaaard sometiiiiiiiimes and that was about when JB said yeah, totally, um you know what I have to go to the bathroom. I suppose I should be glad he didn’t remind me that he can’t hear me when I whine and to use my words like a big girl.

The tough thing about parenting is that no matter how dreary it gets, no matter what fleetingly crappy stage you’re in, you pretty much just have to deal with it. I mean, you can complain, but it’s not like you have the option just to, like, bow out. This is also the very good thing about parenting.

In other news, I would like to dole out a dickpunch or two to the next know-it-all who gets condescending about current events in the economy and snottily reminds people not to panic, like they’ve got some Magic Eight Ball the rest of us don’t. Hey, I’m not exactly in a full-lather panic over here, but I have bills and career changes and savings and college educations and oh, our LIVES to consider and fuck it, I will stress out about this shit if I want to. Which I DON’T, but HELLO. See also: people pooh-poohing global warming because This Has All Happened Before and It’s Part of a Natural Cycle So What’s Everyone Worrying About.

Lastly, some random polling questions:

• Bedtime for baby: what time do you do it? Dylan’s been going down around 7:15-7:30, but I often have to fight to keep him up until then, despite a quick late-day nap. I’ve been afraid to put him down earlier because I don’t want him to get UP earlier, but maybe he wouldn’t?

• 3-year-olds: does yours eat? Like, actual food? Because what the hell, mine doesn’t.

• Are there any fitness-related websites that you particularly like?

• Facebook: am I the only one too stupid to figure it out?


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15 years ago

Regarding the bombardment of questions; what I have found works, both as a “gob- stopper” and in a pedagogical way is to ask back; “Why do you think there is a alligator?”
“Do you think the moon is up?”
“Why don’t you tell me why there’s sandwich”.

In my case it worked by stumping him at first, but now after about 6 months of this (he will be 4 in december), we often have funny conversations as his imagination and conversations skills have evolved.

Leigh Costain
Leigh Costain
15 years ago


I’ve been in and around the fitness industry for 25 years. Everything I’ve learned about what works and what doesn’t work regarding conditioning, strength training and nutrition tracks with the crossfit method.

I love the open source model (I hate the political stuff on the website, though).

I’ve made the most amazing progress in my fitness and body comp since I started doing crossfit. Warning, it’s serious and not for the weak of heart or spirit. There is suffering. But it works Look for a “fight gone bad” video on the site, that’s a good example of what we do.

Leigh Costain
Leigh Costain
15 years ago

Also, a great article entitled “What is Fitness” can be found here:

1) Go to http://www.crossfit.com
2) Click on “What is Crossfit” on the left side
3) The article can be downloaded from a column n the right side of the page

15 years ago

1. The 3yo and 2yo go to bed at 8:00. The 5mo goes to bed at 7:00. She sleeps until 7:00 a.m. I know, I’m lucky. Believe me, after Kid 1 and Kid 2, I earned this one.

2. No, the 3yo does not eat. Unless it’s hot dogs, mac-n-cheese, or pancakes. Try offering dips – ketchup, bbq, honey. The 3yo will eat anything if he can dip it in honey. Weird but true.

3. The 5mo isn’t weened yet, so I have made no real effort to diet/exercise, citing fear of loss of milk supply as the reason.

4. Just got sucked into Facebook 2 weeks ago. So I’m not one of those that cry over the loss of the old version. So far, I’m liking it, but still trying to figure it out.

Jen W.
Jen W.
15 years ago

Active.com is a great website for fitness and running. They have an email newsletter just for women that is full of great tips, nutrition advice, etc. that you can sign up for on their website. Plus, if you feel like training for a 5k or something like that, they have training schedules too.

15 years ago

Frederik’s comment reminds me of a wonderful short story James Thurber wrote titled “A moment with Mandy,” that documents a series of maddening conversations with a little girl who will not be defeated. It’s in his book Lanterns and Lances.

15 years ago

Dude, my view on the economy, or cluster fuck as I like to call it, is as follows: fuck it. I’m about to lose my 401K. I have no credit. My bank may or may not be completely out of money. But I have a couple hundred dollars in cash in case everything goes belly up, and a reserve of gas in case we run out. I have a gun, I have a scooter that gets 80 miles to the gallon, I have a good woman, and as of right now I still have a job. I can’t do a god damned thing about the economy, but I can say fuck it. I’ll survive no matter what happens because while most douchebags are glued to the evening propaganda to find out how scared they should be I’m out having fun and I know that no matter what happens I will at least be able to kill shit to eat and move around from place to place. I say if I’ve prepared for a zombie apocalypse then a little economic recession isn’t that big a deal.

15 years ago

Long time lurker, first time poster. Hi! In response to your question about bedtime, I have a baby who was born Feb. 8th, and we put her to bed anytime between 5:45 and 6:30. We tried keeping her up longer, but just decided the fight wasn’t worth it. We feed her when we go to bed, usually around 9:30, and she sleeps until 5:30 or 6am. She always takes an afternoon nap, but it seems to have no effect on when she wants to go to bed.

I have a question for you, too. How do you get Dylan to eat solid food? Maggie looooves anything she can feed herself, like sweet potato puffs and apples (yes, whole, raw apples, but she won’t eat apple sauce or drink apple juice), but anything on a spoon makes her ANGRY! Any tips for keeping mealtime from ending in tears for both of us would be so appreciated!

15 years ago

First, LOL I totally tell my kids that I can’t hear them when they’re whining. Oddly it works wonders!

Second, “dickpunch” {snort}

Third, try putting him to bed earlier once or twice and see if it works. Maybe he’s in a growth spurt and needs some extra zzzs.

What else did you ask? Oh facebook I think, my dh couldn’t figure it out for the longest time and then it just clicked. Give it another go. He was thrilled to find a bunch of friends that he hadn’t seen in a long time.

15 years ago

Neither of my daughters (7 and 11) eat much of anything. I used to stress out about it until my mom reminded me that I lived on Cheerios for about 10 years. I eat just fine now. It’s too much to stress out about what they will or won’t eat. And parenting is stressful enough!

Ergh, Facebook makes me feel old.

15 years ago

Seriously, I stumbled across your blog while searching “maternity pictures henna tattoo” b/c I’m doing (wait for it!) maternity pics for my best friend, who is getting a henna tattoo tomorrow night. ANYWAY, your writing style is great and I’m practically peeing my pants at work, I’m laughing so hard. I can totally relate. My 6 yr old daughter is still in the talk-all-the-time, ask-questions-always phase, and my 10 mo. old son sounds exactly like your little one. I am definitely a fan now.

My boy used to be falling asleep at about 7 PM, but now he can fight sleep until about 9 if I allow him to. And he’s still up bright and early at 6:30 every morning. And how he wakes up, with the crib-banging and primal noises? Totally. Distracted during feedings by EVERYTHING? Indeed. :) I feel your pain!

dennis croay
15 years ago

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