Riley didn’t crawl until he was 11 months old, and since all the other Internet babies born around the same time had long been motoring from room to room under their own power I was truthfully starting to fret a bit. You know, wondering if he would be the young man graduating from high school by slithering with great grunting effort across the stage on his belly. Of course once he did start crawling, I was like WHY THE HELL DID I EVER WANT THIS TO HAPPEN, because mobile babies suck: they become these horrifying suicidal crawla-pedes whose burning mission is to quickly seek out danger in all areas of your house, then they have the nerve to cry about it when you gently redirect them away from the pointy table/arsenic/bear trap/etc.

Dylan can’t crawl yet, and while I’m not necessarily in any hurry for him to figure out how to do so, he’s in kind of a frustrating stage where he can sort of flail his way around, but his shit is still so hoopty. He rolls from place to place, until he gets yarded up against a wall or stuck under the couch or whatever, and then he lies there squawking furiously. I have to rescue him about 195738 times per hour, while Riley shouts gaily from the corner of the room: “FAIL!”

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Tickling is the best solution for mobility-related unhappiness.

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And speaking of frustrating stages, he’s basically stopped sleeping. I thought we had just had one bad night due to a runny nose, but he seems hell-bent on waking up every hour and it is CRUSHING MY WILL TO LIVE. He’s also eating everything that isn’t nailed down, so what the hell, growth spurt? Tapeworm?

I never had sleep problems with Riley and all the times I wondered why people ‘let’ their kids keep them up all night (I always thought, man, why don’t you just let them cry — well, it turns out sometimes you’re just so goddamned tired at 3 AM you’ll do anything to get them back to sleep, including staggering out of bed and administering the millionth bottle, even though you know you shouldn’t) have come back to bite me in the ass in a big way. We just got lucky with Riley, we didn’t do any kind of sleep training. Now I’m the one perpetuating our sleep problems because 1) I’m too tired to listen to the crying, 2) the crying fills me with chemical dread and I can’t stand listening to it (I should clarify that this is something very different from sympathy, it’s more like this biological programming to MAKE THE CRY-SOUND STOP OR MY INTERNAL ORGANS WILL SHRIVEL, and while I can let it go during the day [and if I didn’t he’d never sleep ever, he’s a champion nap-protester just like Riley was] I feel like I can’t bear the anxious feeling when it’s the middle of the night), and 3) I get worried that he’s going to wake up Riley and now I’ll have two wailing kids to deal with, and 4) I’M SO TIRED OH MY GOD.

Since JB has no problems letting Dylan cry and can in fact sleep through even the loudest howls, I think the solution might be for me to check into a fancy spalike hotel for about a week or so. I’d be at home for bedtimes, then kiss JB farewell and jet off to 24-hour room service and an enormous, crisp-sheeted bed.

I just . . . had to stop typing that, because the very idea was making me a little weepy with pleasure.

In happier news, JB is home, and today we visited the same pumpkin farm we’ve been going to for three years now. The first year Riley was in the backpack carrier, last year he was just a little guy running around, and this year he’s got a brother in that same carrier. Crazy.

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Kristi
13 years ago

Good God, the sleep deprivation really does make you lose your shit, no? I didn’t get lucky in that department with either of my kids and was a walking zombie for several years. It does get better eventually!

I’ll bet he’s getting ready to grow a ton, start crawling and get a tooth all at once! Hang in there sista!

Jen
Jen
13 years ago

Have you tried letting him sleep in your bed? Sometimes crowded sleep is better than no sleep, and contrary to popular belief, he really won’t still be crawling into your room when he is 15. Babies cry for a reason; maybe Dylan’s almost-independence is scaring him and he needs more reassurance or something from you.

Sorry, I am a social worker-turned-SAHM and I guess all those latent theories have to be released sometimes.

PS: There is an awesome elk & buffalo hunting ranch near my house, if JB wants to upgrade from antelope!

Wow, I am so helpful with the advice for all ages tonight. :) I am going to bed.

Vicki
Vicki
13 years ago

Had to de-lurk to say: we just went through the exact same sleep deprivation thing, and I’m praying PRAYING that we’re over it. IT. SUCKS.

And, my son who was born just a few days before yours has the exact same outfit! Carhart sweatshirt and overalls? I hope they don’t meet somewhere wearing the same thing. How embarrassing! :)

OmegaMom
13 years ago

Can I just say that that tickling smile is just Da Bomb? He is so delicious!

As for sleeping. Um. I won’t talk about five years of bad sleep in the Omega household, *including* when co-sleeping. Enough so that when tiptoeing out of the dotter’s bedroom after she had fallen asleep, I’d be knotted up like the ropes on a sailboat hoping that I did *not* step on the boards that creaked. Thankfully, this is a thing of the past.

A long way of saying, oh, I understand very well.

mixette
mixette
13 years ago

Dylan looks like he’s doing the stretching routine from my Namaste Yoga video.

bea
bea
13 years ago

I feel your sleep pain. My son started doing this weird thing around 5 months old. I’d nurse him in the middle of the night and try to place him back in the crib. His head would barely touch the mattress then he’s fuss all over again. It took a toll as I had already headed back to work. I ended up co-sleeping with him so I wouldn’t be up for an hour every night. The good thing is it let me rest so I could be human during the day. The bad thing is that he still sleeps with us 2 years later. I hope he sleeps thru the night for you soon. :)

Anna
13 years ago

You know checking into a hotel isn’t really such a silly idea… we kind of did the exact thing when cole wasn’t sleeping through. My Mum came up and did baby boot camp and we would go and stay at our friends…. (we were too chicken to do it ourselevs). It only took 3 nights. Ever since then we have had a baby that sleeps through the night -whoopee

Kathie
13 years ago

Is Dylan on solids in the evening? I asked my doctor about exactly the same thing on Friday – my 6 month old wakes up like 4 times a night, and I know he can’t possibly be really hungry every time, and yet I find myself breastfeeding him because he goes straight back to sleep if I do, and that is my number one priority when it’s 3am. In the light of day, I think to myself “I really should let him cry/try rocking him/sing” etc, but then it’s 3am and I am so tired, and so I feed him.
My doctor assured me it wasn’t a problem now, because unlike other things, this is a sleep habit he will automatically grow out of – once he’s fully on solids, he will automatically sleep longer, so sure, I can try and temporarily sleeptrain him now, or just leave it… I, of course, am just leaving it.
In the meantime, have you tried giving him warm water in his bottle? Perhaps it’s just the sucking?

Danielle
Danielle
13 years ago

Look, there is no one right answer. You just have to figure out what works for Dylan. I know – you want to figure it out TONIGHT! There are a lot of good ideas here: cosleeping, solids at night, high-tailing it out of there and letting someone else deal with it..he will eventually sleep through the night, at some point. Maybe try the “No-Cry Sleep Solution”? You have to go in and sooth them, etc. It is worth a shot. Good luck!!! You are not alone, just remember that in the wee hours of the night :)

Lesley
Lesley
13 years ago

Time and schedules and alarm clocks and obligations mean nothing to kids and it sounds like you could use a guilt-free break after (how many?) weeks of being on your own and coping with it all yourself. Even getting away during the day to a hotel (if not a night) just to veg out, read a book and have a long luxurious nap.

I feel your pain and hope this phase ends soon.

Lori
Lori
13 years ago

Oh man. This is my life right now. My daughter is about to turn 8 months and is up almost every hour at night to nurse. Or she’s awake for 2-3 hours at a time. It is awful. And I am physically incapable of sleeping through the crying. The other night after I was absolutely positive that she was fed, changed, safe, etc., I actually put in EAR PLUGS. How awful is that? I was just so incredibly exhausted. (In my defense my husband CAN sleep through the crying, but would wake up if her crying became too hysterical.)

But anyway, if you read askmoxie.com, there’s an 8-month sleep regression. As hellish as this is, it makes me feel better to know that hopefully, it will get better soon.

Jo
Jo
13 years ago

“I have to rescue him about 195738 times per hour, while Riley shouts gaily from the corner of the room: “FAIL!””

Classic! Would make a brilliant youtube video :)

Beth Fish
13 years ago

Owen isn’t sleeping either, and I have the best of intentions but by 4 AM with no sleep I am ready to give him the car keys and let him go joy riding if it will stop the screaming for two consecutive hours and let me sleep.

Cassie
13 years ago

Why can men sleep through anything? My husband even slept through our son’s cries when he stayed with me in the hospital after his birth for the soul purpose of helping me with him!

Sharon
Sharon
13 years ago

I actually had a friend who did check into a hotel for 3 nights on a long weekend so that the baby could get out of the bad waking habit. It worked.

Gillian
13 years ago

I know someone whose daughter was up every hour for about TWO YEARS to nurse, and she finally got it to stop when she realized her daughter was allergic to oats, and her interupted sleep was the only symptom. Now that Dylan is eating everything, maybe it’s a good idea to look at what he’s eating and his sleep patterns.

And take him to bed with you before leaving him to CIO. Please, I beg you.

Joceline
Joceline
13 years ago

You sum up the sleep dilemma so well: I’m perpetuating the sleep problem, but I’m too tired to deal with it! People keep telling me to let him cry it out, and that their babies only cried for 20 minutes 3 nights in a row. How about an hour for three weeks, bitches? Before I caved, but not before my soul nearly shriveled into oblivion…

Here’s to hoping it improves for you!

biscuit
13 years ago

Every night Hot Pocket gets up at 4am like clockwork to nurse then goes back to bed. Last night the furry tard (dog) got up crying at 430 because she had to go outside. I was about to kill both my kids.

HP has never slept through the night, getting up once @ 4am is Heaven compared to 1/2 the other nights. . . I dunno what to do either! When she cries my blood pressure sky rockets + in turn, can’t sleep through it.

She is crawling like a pro + jettisons around the house allll day + I fucking hate it. I miss when she was content sitting in her bouncer or on my lap! Enjoy the non-crawling while you can! I am now fearing walking because I have a feeling in a month, she will be.

She was crawling around my room a couple days ago + it got eerily quiet. I looked to see what she was doing + she was nom nomming on a tampon! NOT USED! No teeth yet, no rush for her to grow chompers either.

Lori
Lori
13 years ago

I would like to say that I’ve tried taking my baby to bed with me several times. She wasn’t happy to be there. At least in her crib I can throw some toys in there and she plays, practices crawling, pulling up, etc., while she’s awake. I think this is a stage where she simply can’t sleep, and no matter what I do, I can’t make her.

trackback

[…] And through all this, I’ve been telling myself that we should be turning this magical mythical 3 month corner soon where all is sunshine and lollypops (well, okay I know it’s still hard, it’s just supposed to suck LESS).  And then I get to work and read Sundry’s post about her 6 month old and I died just a little bit inside.  Her description of knowing that cry it out was a viable option on paper, but being unable to follow through is DEAD ON.  Especially because when squidgy gets going, his cries are so frantic and gut-wrenching that you would swear someone is squeezing his nuts in a vice and SOMETHING has to be wrong to be causing it.  He also does not give up easily; the few times we’ve let him cry it out, he’s gone AN HOUR.  On one longish car ride back from a doctor’s appointment, he cried so hard and long that he made himself throw up. […]

Casey
13 years ago

I’m with you on the crawling. We wanted nothing more than for my son to be mobile. Now that my daughter is nearly crawling, we’re considering putting her in a full body cast.

Christina
13 years ago

Dear lawd do I HATE crawling! I had no idea how fantastic it was to plop a kid down on a blanket, and omg, walk away! We are on the verge of walking now so it’s less cries for help and more cries from hitting his head on stuff. Gah.
Thanks for totally busting my bubble about good sleepers- I had a terrible feeling that you dont get lucky twice- yet another reason to put off #2.

Laura
Laura
13 years ago

DO NOT put him in your bed….you will regret it!!!

Joanne
13 years ago

My older son cried a LOT before he figured out how to go back to sleep on his own. I still don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but … he wasn’t getting any sleep. He had little circles under his little eyes and he used to jump at the slightest noise, like a sneeze. For me, I just had to figure out that HE couldn’t take it anymore and I had to just let him go back to sleep on his own. We had many ups and downs but he is a good sleeper now and I truly think I helped him by figuring out that the middle of the night wasn’t the time to eat, be up for hours, nurse, etc. My baby girl is still up to nurse once and sometimes twice a night to nurse but she goes right back to sleep so I am waiting and hoping she’ll just start to lose feedings on her own. But if she doesn’t, I’m just going to let her cry. Her room is right next to her brothers, but I put a white noise machine in his room and you can barely here anything. I think I’ve said it before but the book Healthy Sleeps Habits, Happy Child really helped me get through these suck-ass times. Good luck, I know how soul crushing it can be to be so, so tired.

Eric's Mommy
13 years ago

When Eric learned to crawl he only did it for a couple weeks before he started to walk. He pretty much went from sitting, rolling blob, to walking. The crawling stage was very short.

seadragon
13 years ago

That’s a gorgeous picture of the pumpkin field. I love the fog (mist?) in the background.

As for Dylan still not crawling and Riley crawling late, that was nice for me to read. I’m watching other people’s babies eight month old babies crawl and pull themselves up , while mine pretty much still lays there or does that oh-so-familiar roll-over you’ve got pictured here. I can’t quite figure out how kicking one leg and one arm up in the arm is of any use, but Squeakles does it all the time too.

Sorry to hear that sleeping isn’t going well. That’s another thing we’re currently “working” on. Every night my husband and I lay out a plan of action, which we keep to more or less (usually less), but I’m not convinced there’s any actual training going on yet!

tash
13 years ago

What great photos! Good luck with the sleep thing – think the spa sounds great!

Lorraine
Lorraine
13 years ago

Hey! I work at that farm! I was there yesterday and you didn’t say “Hi!” to me? I am crushed.

P.S. It looks like you were there in the morning when it was still 20 degrees below zero out…Brrr.

trackback
13 years ago

[…] I had a very busy weekend that involved a lot of time NOT SLEEPING. This would be thanks to a certain adorable infant who thinks sleeping is highly overrated. (Linda, I feel your pain.) So, I’m going to cop out and do a meme this morning. Thanks Marilyn for encouraging my slacker ways. […]

nonsoccermom
13 years ago

Ugh, the sleep deprivation. It BLOWS. And I know what you mean about the middle-of-the-night crying, it is much harder to cope with than naptime crying!! I wish I had some advice, but we’re still having sleep issues over here. I will say, though, that the wee hour cryfests are a bit easier to cope with if you just plant yourself in the living room with the TV on, rather than lie in your bed staring at the ceiling while willing the kid to just STOP CRYING, ALREADY. That much I DO know.

Good luck!!

Akimbo
13 years ago

We were in the EXACT. SAME. PLACE. a few months ago, and I thought I would die. We got the Ferber book and followed it exactly, and it worked for us. I only mention it because I saw your twitter that you ordered it.

I can’t listen to my little one scream either, so when she would wake up my husband would go do the timed “you’re ok” parts while I had two pillows over my head and the door was closed. The sound of her screaming like that made my stomach very, very queasy. For us, it worked in a few nights.

I know people have, ahem, some opinions on Ferber, but it worked for us. I also know many people who did other things that worked for them. I hope you can find a solution (ANY SOLUTION GOD SAVE YOUR EXHAUSTED SOUL) that works for Dylan.

Amanda
13 years ago

I’m with Lori.
EARPLUGS really really help.
It takes the edge WAY off the noise, so your blood pressure stays in the reasonable healthy range. And if the crying gets weird or hysterical, you still hear it. It’s totally worth a shot if you want to let him cry it out a bit. Sweet bean. Good luck!

Her Bad Mother
13 years ago

Wow. We are, like, SO living in a parallel baby universe, LIKE SERIOUSLY.

Ativan and a pillow over my head. That’s how I’m surviving. Am thinking about getting a border collie to herd during fits of rolling.

Joy
Joy
13 years ago

Heh. The joys. I had two late crawlers/walkers. Every kid is so different. My oldest son who is now 4 was anti-sleep for the first 19 months of his life. He didn’t nap. He didn’t sleep through the night. He was up at the butt crack of dawn. I felt like I had seriously lost my freakin’ mind. I read every sleep book known to man and tried every method. The one that really worked for us was Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Mark Weissbluth. It does involve crying it out and is not for everyone. It worked well for my son who still sleeps well today. I started implementing his methods with my daughter the day we came home from the hospital. She is 15 months old now and has been sleeping through the night for about 10 months now and takes two long naps during the day. After the struggle with my first born, I never knew it could be this good! It can’t hurt to at least try it! Good luck!

H
H
13 years ago

I’m glad to see JB wore sensible shoes to the pumpkin patch.

Korinna
13 years ago

Yeah, remember when I was all “Hey! Swaddling is great. You should try it!” Well, don’t. Because what will happen is that you will try to wean him off of it–real, slow-like during naps and whatnot–and your weekend will go down in a fiery ball.

I’ve decided that while pretty much all adults have agendas, well, so do babies. Their agenda involves sending their parents into sleep-deprived hysterias.

Julie
13 years ago

Sounds like a growth spurt to me. My youngest (age 2) will sometimes get in the bed with me at night when he’s fussy. He then goes into a sleep-of-the-dead sleep and kicks me periodically in the kidneys. My theory, though, is that a cranky me is easier to deal with than a cranky kid! :)

Maria
13 years ago

LOL hoopty. Best usage ever.

Chipmunk slept great, so I’m totally anticipating this next one to be a raging insomniac.

Shana
Shana
13 years ago

Linda, as a mother of 5 kids, ages 17-1, please do not let your baby cry it out. It’s one of the worst things you can do to damage their self-esteem and trust in you to be there when they need it. He is going through a developmental stage, and it will pass. CIO is NOT the answer, because for one, this isn’t about you. You chose to have this baby, and I’m sorry you’re so tired, but he comes first. Sorry to be so blunt and tactless.

Andrea
Andrea
13 years ago

Is there an 8 week sleep regression as well? My 8 week old baby has decided to wake every 1-2 hours at night now, too. Last night I screamed (inside my head) every possible combination of “God” “Mother” “Fuck” and “Dammit” each time Mr. Wiggles wanted to get up and fool around but not properly eat his bottle.

I’m right there with you, sister.

Lisa
Lisa
13 years ago

oh Shana…why did you have to go an sh*t on a perfectly nice, harmless thread of mostly comments with the judgey-judgey???

Lisa
Lisa
13 years ago

mostly *helpful* comments!

Katie
Katie
13 years ago

I am dealing with the sleep issues with both boys, ages 21months and 3years. The 3 year old is scared of the dark and crawls in with us stealthily through the night, only to be found at 6 am with the alarm clock ringing in my ears. The 21 month old is getting his upper 2 year molars, and has turned into the biggest pain in my butt! At 2 am he’s screaming when the Motrin wears off, or he wants to cuddle cause he just is pissy! It’s a pain, but I hope he goes back to his good sleeping self when the two teeth appear.
My oldest never crawled truly, he army crawled for 2 months then went to walking at 12 months. Just didn’t want to be on his knees I guess. The youngest was crawling on all 4’s before 6 months, and was walking well before 10 months. I would say you are lucky, as I have wished youngest had slowed down a little and let mommy catch her breath a little bit!

victoria
victoria
13 years ago

YES!!! You SHOULD spend a sweek at a fancy spa-like hotel. In the Napa Valley. The Carneros Inn is nice. Let JB do the solo-parent thing for a week, the baby will learn to sleep through the night, and when you get home all refreshed and exfoliated, everyone will appreciate you SO MUCH MORE. Do it! Do it!

Jenny
13 years ago

I don’t think Shana sounded judgemental. She made a very valid point and her comment might be just as helpful as the others.

Good luck Linda!! Great pictures.

Marivic
13 years ago

I’m also the mother of 5 (20 to almost 3) and holy hell, do whatever works for you, Linda.

The thing is, babies need sleep. Some babies arrive at sleep via nursing/rocking/etc., and others cry a bit and work themselves to sleep that way. For many babies, it’s a combination.

But I know you already know this (the nerve of some people, however…unreal). Hang in there! (And, the second pic down? Perfection in a sleeper!)

Gillian
13 years ago

Lisa: Just because Shana’s opinion may differ from yours doesn’t mean she’s being judgemental, she’s just giving a different opinion. You, on the other hand, are acting judgemental by calling HER judgemental, so I’d stop while you’re ahead.

workout mommy
13 years ago

I hear you on the sleep thing, my 2nd is 14 months and still gets up in the middle of the night. I learned the hard way that letting him cry is NOT the answer b/c he wakes up son #1 and that is not pretty.

so I basically am a slave to his sleeplessness until he goes to college.

love the rolling pics, so cute!

Mrs. CPA
Mrs. CPA
13 years ago

When I moved to AR and waited on my husband to get a job and move here, I started letting Hudson CIO because I had SHIT TO DO. I couldn’t rock and lay down, and re-rock and lay down ad nausem until 11 pm every night. Then Hudson got sick a few months later and all that went out the window. Every time I put him in a horizontal position he screamed becuase his ears and sinuses hurt. And my husband can not just leave him ALONE. He has to go in there after 10 minutes. So all my hard work – down the tubes.

Hudson still can’t fall asleep on his own. You have to lay there with him after books until he falls asleep and he’s 2.5.
I must admit having that tiny arm around your neck or wanting to hold my hand is pretty damn heartwarming. But while I was pregnant hoisting my gargantuan self up from a twin bed was a feat that required assistance and a spotter.

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