Ug, that kind of thing turns my stomach. It reminds me of churches where they split the entire church over a tiny difference on a tiny issue. WE CAN’T GET ALONG UNLESS WE ARE EXACTLY THE SAME ON EVERY TINY DETAIL.

Oh for heaven’s sake. People like that obviously have no idea what kind of a person you are, and don’t “get” your tone and inflection and the way you express yourself. You’re being funny, they take you literally, and BOOM! You’re a Bad Mother. Gah. Don’t waste calories fretting about the Humorless Masses. You’re awesome, you’re a great parent, and that’s that.

I completely agree with you. If it makes you feel better, I stopped reading her blog after she wrote this. Judging other people’s parenting choices is no one elses business. Also, my kids went through sleep training too and they are the most happy well adjusted kids….no one would guess I let them cry 1 night!

I think you are great! If you are ever in upstate NY, I would not call the authorities :)

I’m red with rage after reading that. RAGE.

I’m red with rage after reading that link. RAGE.

Wow. I had no idea.

I don’t agree with the CIO for myself but sheesh. I’m not going to kick your ass for it or anything. Stop reading a blog? Fine. Just don’t blather on and on about it.

And yes. That portrait is VERY unloving and resentful family. I, I had to turn away.

Gah, people make me sick. I don’t even have kids, so I’m probably not entitled to an opinion, but really, if your child needs to learn to sleep in his crib, rather than in a swing, how are you supposed to teach him this by holding him all night, while he cries because he’s tired and doesn’t think he can sleep without his swing? Ugh. Whatever.

I wouldn’t let it bother you. My experience has shown that people who make these types of comments are usually insecure about themselves and their own practices. I am new to your site, but having gone back and read many of your previous posts, there is no doubt in my mind that you are crazy about your kids. I don’t think there is anything wrong with humorous writing about your children. In fact, I’m sure there are times when they want to make similar comments about you. Not because they don’t love you, but because it is human nature to just get shit off your chest sometimes. Nothing wrong with honesty, the world would be a far better place if we all spent a little more time being honest. I would guess that when your boys are old enough to read your posts, they will look at them with fondness and appreciate the fact that you cared about them so much that you wrote about them almost every day.

Wow. That link was just . . .disappointing. I suppose that is where we are now as a community–politics is much the same way. With us or against us. But it is sad, because there is a lot of evidence that you can be a good parent doing any number of things. And anyone who has read here long enough to “mourn” should know how much you love your kids.

oh, fuck what other people say about you. Raise your kids how you want. Screw what that chick thinks. she’s just being nasty. How you raise your kids is your personal choice and something you have to live with for the rest of your life. I feel like all moms are doing the best they can. It may not be enough in some cases, but they’re doing their personal best.

Also I think it is really important to think about what you (and not just you, every mom that’s blogging about their kids) write on your blog and how it will effect your kids in the long run, when they’re older and able to read and understand everything. It may end up hurting them, you never know. But again, it’s your choice and I’m sure you have considered that before :)

I read one woman’s blog a while back who was writing a lot about her kids, and I felt really bad, because she said some things that I am positive would hurt her children very, very badly when they were old enough to read/understand… it was a damn shame.

She decides to quit reading you because your parenting methods are different from hers? HER LOSS. Look on the bright side: at least it isn’t the same old tired working mom vs SAHM or bottle vs breast!

Dear lord. In the comments she says,

“I love my time with Ash- I hardly EVER complain about it, and I’m with him all day. He still wakes up every two hours to nurse, AND I don’t drink caffeine to help with the fatigue (though, I don’t really feel tired). Plus, I work during his naps and when he goes to bed- most nights until 11:30, and I still don’t have a lot to complain about.I often wonder why some people are parents..”

Sounds like she’s won a gold medal in the sacrifice Olympics! Why do some mothers feel the need to make a competition over how much they give up for their children, as if it was an adequate marker for successful and caring parenting? Good riddance, I say.

Oh Linda, that was so shitty! I am sorry.
It almost sounded as if she was JOKING it was sooo ridiculously judge-y. I just don’t understand why people get so worked up about other people and their ways of working through life.
We were told by the pediatrician to let the babes cry it out and in the end it was the best thing we ever did. Otherwise, when the heck was anyone going to get any sleep? Our doctor said that when a parent is tired and not at their best, then how can they be the best parent that they would like to be?
Good point, we thought.
Big hug.

It continues to baffle me why people read your site if they feel that way toward you. The last time someone was questioning your parenting they accused the rest of us well wishers of blowing smoke up your ass in the comments. Seriously though, from what I gather from reading your blog, you’re a great mother who loves her kids. Fuck the haters.

What a bitch. I will bet in ten years she will have a very dysfunctional family. My son is in ninth grade and having the same group of friends since first grade I can see how children react to different parenting styles. I can tell you without exception parents like her end up with kids that have a hard time coping with the real world. They tend to be whiny and expect everyone to cater to their every need. I wonder if her husband has to overcompensate to make up for her lack of concern on how she is handicapping her children for later in life.

Team Linda

I am really sorry that it happened, Linda. I had BOTH my kids CIO (in a very loving way, THANK YOU VERY MUCH). (sidebar: CIO is NOT letting your child cry, cry, cry for hours on end) It took all of 2 nights for my kids, and in my opinion, not helping your children learn how to sleep is more detrimental to their overall development than a few minutes of crying, with mom or dad coming in every few minutes to soothe.

She is not parenting MY children, I AM.

Swistle is right on. What? WE CAN’T GET ALONG UNLESS WE ARE EXACTLY THE SAME ON EVERY TINY DETAIL??

Good riddance!

Also, if I stop reading a blog (for whatever reason), I don’t feel the need to tell the entire world about it. What is that about?

The general douchebaggery over there is astounding.

I think your hair looks awesome.

Don’t you wish one nice word would haunt you with joy like the few harsh words we hear? I think that often. I get kind emails and compliments daily but one negative one will erase them all in my mind somehow.

I’d rather read a true-to-life blog than a pompous self-serving glassy-eyed diatribe any day.

Having two little kids is HARD. Sometimes it SUCKS. It’s not all candyland and sweet kisses. Sometimes its puke in the middle of the night and crying yourself to sleep. You’re honest, funny, and smart. And a great and loving mom, from what I can tell. Keep it up, and tell the valium-induced bitches to kiss your mommy-ass.

What I find quite ironic is that she has Dooce as a direct link as one of her “blogrolls” (so I assume she reads it and encourages others to read it as well) yet I seem to remember one Heather B. Armstrong who used CIO with her child. There may be more but that is one I am familiar with so I felt comfortable commenting on.

I used to be very self-righteous but the more I learn the more I understand that there is no one right choice for everyone. We all have to find what works for us. Even in cases where I used to think there was no gray area… like, what about the parent who can’t spend much time with their kid because they have to work so much to make ends meet? Some would call it neglect or abuse. I think it is a sad situation for all involved.

Anyway, I digress…

I wish people could get your humor. You are a very loving mother and wife and if people can’t glean that from the bazillions of photos you take and loving entries, then it’s their loss.

Eh. I don’t think that kind of stuff says as much about you as it does her. I understand why you’d be hurt by it, but on the other hand, 90% and more of the comments and links you get are supportive. I don’t know why we all (me included) give ONE person so much attention and focus when they’re negative to us, and only a passing thought to those who treat us kindly. It’s a serious human flaw, I think.

WOW! I followed the link and started reading and I’m like “WTF???” That’s like high school – talking about something you and you just happen to be standing behind them! I’m assuming you were a following of her blog also? That’s just fucked up and not my idea of a blog entry – keep it to yourself you bitch (her, not you…I’m a firm believer in the CIO method).

Um, I got all mother hennish and totally tore that shit up over there. I hate when people insult my favorite bloggers.

Ohhh Linda. I want to stand in front of you with my tough girl stance in fierce protection of you and your blog. I’ve been a closet reader for awhile and NEVER ONCE have I questioned your undying love for those kiddos. Chin up. We’re all just doing the very best we can, she can go eat dog poo.

So she feels strongly against CIO. So strongly, she decides to cease reading your blog…so she lambasts you in the process?
I cannot STAND that kind of judgemental tripe. Any good point she may have in her AP vs. CIO is completely lost when she can’t step down off that Sacrificial Pedestal she’s so proud of.
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months, and I would never label you as a Ferber parent. Seems to me (yes, the casual observer) that you’re finding the way with both of your kids as individuals, pulling a little of this and that from lots of sources – sometimes cry it out, sometimes not…sometimes something entirely else.
I read her linked stories – sensationalist, biased articles with “reasearch” that only looked at half the story…I would love to see some objective research on the subject, but if all I can find is sentimental diatribes about crying because someone HEARS a baby crying? Girl, please.

p.s.

I just read the sentence under the picture and lol’d

How revolting! Yet oddly entertaining, I must admit (“CIOers band together!” Yes yes, that’s exactly what the world needs: MORE MOB MENTALITY…) in a sitting-at-home-watching-TV-can’t-find-the-remote-stuck watching-soap-operas-in-Spanish Way. No comprende.

Sorry for the suck.

Dang, now I feel compelled to comment again…

Sorry to call you out Pete (I have no idea who you are), but “What a bitch. I will bet in ten years she will have a very dysfunctional family.” is just an example of what we DO NOT need in discussions like this.

As much as you may not agree with TypeAlice or her beliefs, practices, etc., I don’t think anyone would say it’s acceptable to make comments like that about her character or her family life. Because on the other side of the coin, there are people saying things like that about Linda and her family. And all of these comments are not productive, they are just mean and hateful.

CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE DIFFERENT BELIEFS? Gah!

WOW. It’s this kind of crap that drives me nuts. Life isn’t always sunshine and freaking roses. What? You can’t complain on your own damn blog without being called a crappy parent? Christ. I love my kids more than life itself and would gladly throw myself (or anyone else) under a bus to save them. That being said, they also drive me bat shit crazy at times.

Having an infant is terribly hard work, especially when you have one that doesn’t sleep well. You end up exhausted and at your wits end. Not every woman has the luxury of being able to stay home with their children. I didn’t. I HAD TO RETURN TO WORK TO BE ABLE TO FEED MY CHILDREN. You bet your sweet patootie that I did my fair share of complaining about my sweet darling that kept me up. The first 18 months with her were rough (said in my best Gumby voice).

I think you are an amazing woman and an amazing mom. Those boys are lucky to have you and JB as parents.

I must admit I did not go and read anything else, so I have no comment about that stuff. I love your site and check for updates religiously.

On another note, is it me or is Riley holy smokes Tall?? He looks so big! I remember him when he was just “widdle”!!

I’m going to speak about myself here, although I’m sure others will see themselves. I sometimes cry. It is cathartic. It is the only way to relieve stress that seems to have no other way to express itself. I feel better after I CIO. I don’t want anybody around me – I don’t want to be picked up, questioned, rubbed or patted or any of that. I just want to CIO. I have a few disabled children, and I allow myself a little time each week to cry about things I wish I could do something about but can’t. I pray, I cry for awhile, and I feel better.

I wonder if kids feel the same way. I wonder if they’re confused from trying to make sense of what they see or they’re tired because they can’t understand things, or they’re frustrated … whatever.

Maybe it isn’t always a call for attention. Maybe its just an outlet, and when you pick them up repeatedly instead of letting them CIO, they never really fully unload. What do you all think?

Janet

Oh, I think I see my issue now. Riley is on the “stand” part of the stand & sit stroller.

But Still! He’s tall!

You know, before I had my son I was SO sure I would never do CIO. And then at 7 months my son spit out the pacifier and cried himself to sleep, and then we all started sleeping nice long stretches. What it taught me was that no one technique works for each family and each baby- you have to do what’s right for you at the time, in your particular situation.

I think that freaks a lot of people out, like it’s an implicit judgment on their parenting if you do things differently, and your family is happy. But man, life is short. And it’s even shorter if you spend so much time thinking about exactly how wrong other people are.

Riley and Dylan are obviously much loved. Your blog has been a huge comfort and reassurance to me since I became a parent. You’re doing a great job.

I’ve been lurking here for a long time, and I just want to say that I love your blog. It’s so easy to see how crazy you are about your kids. As for CIO– I don’t have children of my own (yet), but I nannied for a sleep-training family and their kids are fantastically well-adjusted and AMAZING sleepers. Seriously, the 20-month-old politely indicates that he’s ready for his (3-hour) nap at precisely the right time every day. So I’m convinced. Those who disagree don’t have to do it!

OMG that woman is just a whackjob!

Jeez. That chick was BRUTAL. I’m sorry that you’ve had to defend your parenting practices in this way. What a jerk. We support you Linda. The vast majority of us are sending you vibes of understanding and support. That pea brain can suck it.

Oops, I hit ‘submit’ too soon.

What I meant was I think whatsherface meant to say “…banD together” (vs. ‘ban’ – because that makes no sense otherwise) and that her declarations against mass mentality (“them vs. us”) is hypocritical in context of her very own post.

But instead I typed, uh, the above oddness and fell on the Enter key.

Moving on: I’m jealous of your mastery of the self-timer on your camera. I think I’ll start a Flickr group for the shots taken just BEFORE and AFTER everyone’s where they need to be…sheesh.

If I don’t have something nice to say, I keep my mouth shut…and then I stop reading the offensive blog. Of course, this simple logic eludes many of our less intelligent humans. I never thought I’d let my kid cry, until one night the alternative was for me to expose her to EVIL Mommy and then I thought, maybe a good cry is all she needs! Parenting is a constantly evolving process and absolutes NEVER work, because those little poop machines figure out what your up to just when you think you’ve got it right. You know what’s good for kids and since I don’t see any black eyes in your family photo, I’d say you should keep up the good work!

I am amazed that someone can muster that level of self-righteous rage over allowing a baby to fuss for TEN MINUTES. I mean, if you care that much about the wellbeing of every single baby in the world, shouldn’t you be off volunteering in a orphanage somewhere?

Um, first of all, since when have you ever let little D cry it out? Or is five seconds of crying or five minutes of grousing (not the same thing) child abuse now? Good freaking grief.

You just know this typealice bitch is going to be reading your blog day after day because she can’t help herself. Help her out of her obsessive addiction to you and ban her IP address.

(Is typealice that Gillian woman? Because I was mighty cheesed about a gossipy lying rant she spewed in her blog about you and when I left a few choice words in its thread calling her on it she deleted my comment. Of course, she can come in here and spew her shit with impunity but don’t you dare point out anything in her blog, nosiree.

Personally, I love the fact that you are realistic and talk about how craptastic being a parent can be, how much you doubt and worry about every step you take with your children’s lives.

Maybe people should stop being martyrs – I’m looking at the commenter that is super mom and whips the boob out 18 billion times a night and works until 11:30.

If I read a blog and they offer a different opinion than mine enough that it bothers me, I simply delete them from my reader. Is a hate post neccesary?

I fucking hate people who spew their beliefs and self righteous crap to whoever will listen and rag on people who are different than them. Blah blah blah–my cloth diapers…blah blah blah my every-two-hours-nursing kid…oh shutty!

This world is made up of people who are different and believe different things. What you need to teach your kid is not that your way is the right way, but rather that accepting people’s differences is kind and humane. Especially when they are in complete opposition of what you believe and practice.

I sure hope that someone teaches that woman’s kid that there is no ONE WAY TO THINK AND BELIEVE, with regards to pretty much every single thing in this world.

Except maybe math. I think math always has like, one answer.

Penne, you said it best.

And Felicia is also right about Dooce and CIO!! Also, Dooce complains about Leta as much, if not more than Linda does. And for the record, it’s NOT complaining…it’s written for the humor of it. I fully believe Linda and Heather take the mundane mother tasks and turn them into funny stories for us to read. If they didn’t write about thier kids, what would they have to say on a daily basis? Their lives ARE thier kids! I take most of what they say with a grain of salt, because I’m pretty sure Heather doesn’t do half the stuff to Leta that she SAYS she does.

And that alice chick? What a douche!

I’m not a parent, so my comment might be out of place, but SERIOUSLY? You, negative? Yeah, and I’m a size 8. Really, look at my butt!

Some people certainly do suck don’t they. And for anyone that cares, I STRONGY believe that anyone who is against CIO never had a kid where it was a necessity to implement CIO. So there.

I had to stop reading over there because I was cursing too loudly at my desk at work.

Swistle made the best comparison I can think of – religion. And how some people are supposedly loving and devoted and then they go on holy crusades and rape and murder people who don’t believe the same exact thing, in the same exact way.

Why do we have to agree on EVERYTHING in order to derive SOMETHING from each other as human beings?

And if we all only interacted with people that had the Same Exact Opinions as us, we’d all be flat, one-dimensional, close-minded assholes.

For what it’s worth, you had a lot of people defending you over there.

And now I am saddened for humanity because people like those mothers are raising their children to be just as big of assholes as they are.