I actually didn’t even consider the fact that it might be Extremely Controversial to disclose that I resorted to drugging my infant (albeit with half a nippleful of a children’s antihistamine instead of, say, a well-aimed dart containing a large dose of Phenobarbital, which I for one am just glad I did not have on hand at 4 AM because it would have been TEMPTING, VERY TEMPTING) until a few of you left comments that told me I was brave for admitting it, which . . . gosh, no, you are sweet, and are you doing something different with your ass because it looks fantastic, but it totally didn’t occur to me that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to talk about slipping unneeded medication into a howling baby in order to get some sleep.

Uh, it does seem kind of obvious in retrospect.

Anyway, thanks for not poking me with a CPS-stick, even if you were privately horrified at my Torrid Confessional. I hesitate to even mention a follow-up, because every time I write down what Dylan is doing sleepwise he seems to merrily switch things up because god knows we wouldn’t want a little consistency around here, ha ha ha AIIEE, but after an initial mighty protest of bedtime last night he slept just fine.

Yeahhh. I don’t know.

In other news I am waiting for an appliance repairperson to show up today because our dishwasher seems to be clogged, a situation for which I have been squarely blamed. I’ll take the hit on this one, I do occasionally put things in there without rinsing every speck of food from their surfaces, but I would also like to point out that a SUREFIRE way to avoid such reprehensible behavior on my part would be for the other adult member of the household — whose dishwasher-loading skills are apparently faultless in every way — to pitch in, let’s say 50% of the time. Why, that’s HALF as many chances for me to clog anything! Everyone wins!

I’d also like to mention that only I seem capable of understanding that cramming the washing machine to the brim before turning it on and walking away 1) does not constitute the full chore of “doing laundry”, and 2) means that everything just turns around in the dryer in a giant ball and comes out in a wrinkled clump; that while the dishwasher has been out of commission the task of hand-washing dishes fell entirely on my shoulders; and that JB views the notion of actually touching the vacuum handle exactly the same as holding a woman’s purse, which is to say he fears the briefest of contact will shrink his testicles. In comparison, a few stray mushrooms left in the dishwasher? SAINTLY HOUSEHOLD BEHAVIOR.

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Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
15 years ago

Sadly we don’t even have a dishwasher, oh actually we do…..me. I sliced my hand open a few weeks ago (doing dishes!) and therefore could not wash the dishes. So they just piled up in the sink util my hand was healed enough to wash them.

I was not privately horrified at your torrid confessional.

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

I thought everybody did the ‘drug them so I can sleep’ trick. Their loss.

Claire
15 years ago

I know exactly what you mean. The few times I have gotten my husband to do laundry, he has assumed I meant “Start the laundry. I’ll fold it.” He doesn’t consider the folding and putting away a part of “laundry”. It must just be a male thing or a husband thing. It’ll always be a mystery to me their selective ineptitude.

Shelly
15 years ago

I was a little surprised at your confession, but when I thought about it, I realized that after that many hours of crying, I would have assumed that there was something physically wrong with my child and given him a does of Tylenol, which equates to exactly the same thing you did. At which point I was no longer surprised.

Kim
Kim
15 years ago

My husband “does the laundry” the same way. He’s lucky he has a…cute face.

Sarah Lena
15 years ago

A-fucking-MEN on the laundry thing.

Another point of interest? Dumping said wrinkled clump of dryed clothes on a bed and leaving it there does also not constitute “doing laundry”.

AndreAnna
15 years ago

I was waiting for someone to say something about the “drugging” thing, but was so pleasantly surprised that it never went to That Place, because if there’s a mother alive out there that hasn’t 1) seriously considered it or 2) actually done it, she should be given a big ol’ bed full of Brad Pitt.

ELC
ELC
15 years ago

I know you just redid your kitchen, so you are probably not in the market for a new dishwasher, but FYI – KitchenAids have built-in DISPOSALS at the bottom, and that is why as both a kitchen designer and the ONLY person in my house that loads, runs, or unloads the machine, it’s my strong recommendation. I never rinse anything.

As far as the baby-doping goes, I wondered after I read it if you had taken his temp, because maybe he was still feeling sickish, and was uncomfortable, and therefore having a hard time falling back asleep, in which case – you gave him meds. because he needed them – not controversial at all!

Laura
Laura
15 years ago

When my hubby “does” the dishes, it is exactly that – the dishes we ate off of, and the utensils. Never mind the Pots and Pans, or wiping off the stove, countertops, table or cleaning out the sink….I still have to “do the dishes” when he gets done, and he takes credit for having done the dishes! AAGGGHHH!

My Buddy Mimi
15 years ago

My husband had never done laundry when we got married. For four years of college he took it home on the weekend, and his mom did it for him.

On his first attempt he proudly fit all three washer loads into one of the dryers, thus saving us $1.50. We ended up with a kind of soggy laundry puck and spent an additional $2.25 to run everything through again in three separate dryers.

Mel
Mel
15 years ago

Yeah, let the nay-sayers freak out. But I don’t know one mom who hasn’t done it or hasn’t thought about it. you’re just the one that actually ADMITS it. which i think is refreshing!

jenny
jenny
15 years ago

I can only say that the fights in my household about the definition of chore and completion have escalated to extreme lengths.

we have reached a compromise – mainly because i am tired of being angry

He empties the dishwasher – I load it
he puts the laundry in and out – I fold it

completion of tasks is apparently not in his DNA.

Sally
Sally
15 years ago

My opinion on medication is that if problem + medicine = no problem, the medicine was necessary.

jen
jen
15 years ago

You know, my husband did not touch the vaccuum until I convinced him to buy a dyson and he could see the dirt. Since then, I’ve had to ask if I can please use the vaccuum I begged him to buy. I just cannot stand the dividing up of household chores. It is such a struggle.

jen
jen
15 years ago

And apparently I cannot spell vacuum. Twice.

M.A.
M.A.
15 years ago

SUNDRY: you always make me laugh, and I am WITH you on the Dyson, dammit. Does it come with sexy-Brittish Dude? Seriously. Just talk… I’ll close my eyes. Yes, yes, that’s it… just talk… and vacuum. Perfect.

MONKEY: I am still laughing at your comment yesterday about Dylan looking like a first year associate — ohmygod, so VERY true!

SART
SART
15 years ago

I’m pretty lucky b/c my husband does a lot around the house. (I’m not just saying that b/c he reads this blog and I’m aiming for a foot rub later.) I have a much more demanding job (read: longer hours) and he’s pretty good about doing the dishes and laundry and whatnot. Although for the record he does not believe in irons so if it is wrinkled it’s either worn or I iron it. And he does not do bathrooms. At all.

Dysons are a TOTAL WIN. Especially in a house with a 3 year old boy, 2 cats, 1 dog and a pregnant chick who likes to eat salt and vinegar chips all over the house. If I was going to buy one now, I think I’d look into the smaller one – the Ball. Ours is HUGE.

victoria
victoria
15 years ago

You crack me up. Also, I wass dosed with Phenobarbitol as an infant (in 1965) to make me sleep. Also I was X-rayed for a minute or so in utero so that they could watch my heartbeat. Also my mom smoked & drank copiously during all her pregnancies. The AMC series “Mad Men” is so right-on. Yay, 1960s!

Missy
Missy
15 years ago

When we were trying to get my son into a better sleeping pattern at about a year old, our doctor recommended a half dose of benadryl before bed for 3 or 4 nights just to help him establish a routine of sleeping through the night.

Half Assed Kitchen
15 years ago

Hee hee.

Amanda
15 years ago

I didn’t even bat an eye that you gave him Benedryl. Kids need sleep. He was not getting sleep. You gave him sleep. It’s not like you gave it to him at 7:00 so you could have the sex or watch night time soap operas or something. Poor kid was miserable.

You are a great Mommy!

ps – if benedryl worked on my kids I’d have used it a few times too. Alas, mine are some of the few who get wired from it.

M.A.
M.A.
15 years ago

P.S. Housework fights are here to stay. The argument I love is the “I do all the outdoor work” argument. olrighty, then – let’s review — Laundry: every other day at least. Dishes: ditto. Cleaning Dog messes: as needed. Vacuuming: weekly (cough) okay, maybe every other. Lawn work: 5 months in summer, and “when it snows”. I don’t know. Something about the math…

MotherGooseAmy
MotherGooseAmy
15 years ago

Are you kidding me? People are so judgemental. It’s your kid… and if you think a little Benadryl to help with sleep is necessary, then you are the Mom and that’s your decision. My GOD! Why can’t people mind their own business!

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

I bought a Dyson and have not really been very happy with it. Doesn’t seem to ‘suck’ as well as my Hoover. Plus its hose arrangement is not a good. On the other hand watching the dirt and dog hair is kind of cool. I have my kids do the laundry and dishes so no problem there. Train’em early, that’s what I say. :-)

Shutter Bitch
15 years ago

Does JB rinse his plate at all when he’s done with it? Because mine won’t rinse his plate. He just sets it on the counter *right on top of the dishwasher, grr, smack, rend, tear* and walks away, promising to clean up from dinner later, after he’s finished watching TV. By the time I finish eating and get to it, because you KNOW mama is the last to eat when there are other, smaller mouths in the house, it’s dried on and a pain in the butt to rinse off. Then he wonders why I let the dishwasher do the dirty work when it would have just taken a friggin’ second to run the plate under the faucet.

Apparently you hit a nerve with me. Do you think I could drug my husband and it would improve things? Like a magical Clean The House MY Way drug?

I shouldn’t complain much becuase the man does dust and vacuum and even scoops the kitty litter, but Jebus Pete! The dishes battle is our worst one.

Sunny
Sunny
15 years ago

Two words: Dyson Animal.

Looovvve it.

MRW
MRW
15 years ago

My only thought upon reading about the Benadryl dosing was a stab of jealousy that it works for you. It makes my kid wired as hell (found that out the hard way).

To achieve some level of martial harmony (i.e., not killing my husband) we instituted the same rule I grew up with: if you cook, the other person cleans up. I hate to cook, so I always did the dishes. I still hate to cook, but my husband likes it, so things are fairly fair – although when he makes himself a sandwich and brings the plate to the sink (RIGHT NEXT TO the dishwasher) and leaves it there. My buttons are pushed. God I hate housework and chores – if we win the lottery I’m so getting and Alice.

Becky
Becky
15 years ago

Shutter Bitch…mine does the same with the dishes…right on top of the ever loving dishwasher…and then walks away.

I too thought everyone did the drug them so they sleep trick.

stacy
stacy
15 years ago

What happened to your Roomba?

telegirl
telegirl
15 years ago

I’ll take either a Roomba or a Dyson, but would prefer the Roomba as we have 2 large dogs (who are shedding like mad right now) and a boy who likes to drag his blankie across the floor. Gross. Hubby does a lot of things, but the vacuum is a foreign object to him. Thus, the envy for a Roomba. Or the Dyson. Whichever. God, I’m getting worked up over a vacuum. How sad is that?

Hubby also takes dishes to the sink. WTF?! The dishwasher is empty and RIGHT THERE!!

Kristy
15 years ago

Just wanted to offer up a piece of advice. If you cram your dryer full of clothes you will inadvertently bust your dryer belt because if you are putting too much weight in there the belt cannot function without “snappage”. My husband just learned this lesson the 2 1/2 hour repair time way. He did the repair…he paid the piper. Don’t cram your dryer.

p.s. it’s not as if you rolled Dylan in peanut butter and bird seed and threw him in a pen of chickens. Perhaps he did in fact have teething pain, etc. and having the medicine resolved the unseen issue he couldn’t verbalize.

SleepyNita
15 years ago

Seriously, who hasn’t drugged their children in the middle of the night when they really have nothing else to resort to?

I am guilty of giving my son Tylenol ( an appropriate dose people!) when I have no clue what his problem is or how to make him feel better.

Guess what? It freaking worked.

Renee
Renee
15 years ago

seriously, what is with the men and the chores? Mine does nothing. No laundry, no dishes, no sweeping, no WIPING HIS OWN DANG PEE off the floor when he misses. I’m making the money, too, he’s supposed to be the house-husband. Wait a sec, why do I keep him around again??

Maureen
Maureen
15 years ago

We love our Dyson Animal. We’ve had it for years, and it still works great, a big improvement on other brands we had.

My husband works shorter hours than I do, so I asked him the other day if he could clean the bathroom. He said “no!”, and when I enquired why not he said, get this:

“I don’t like cleaning the bathroom.”

Really??? Is it on anyone’s “Things to do before I die” list?? Must be nice not to have to do anything you don’t want to.

Men. Although I will say in his defense that he is a wonderful cook and does most of that for the family, and cleans up after himself. That doesn’t get him off for the bathroom thing though.

Mandy
Mandy
15 years ago

I never really considered it unnecessary drugging so much as just trying to figure out something that works. And I’m not talking about your situation, I’m speaking of my own experiences. When they are that age there is no surefire way to diagnose the problem when it’s not obvious. Benadryl seems pretty benign and he did sleep, so everyone wins.

My mantra: This too shall pass. My son is 4.5 and that mantra still works.

Lori
15 years ago

OK, I don’t have kids so can’t identify. But your “confession” didn’t even register with me as maybe an issue. Just last night I was discussing with my husband my dad’s trick of giving us a bit of honey, lemon and whiskey when we, ummm, had a cough. Or perhaps, didn’t sleep quickly enough, who remembers. Certainly not us kids.

We were having this discussion as I was sweeping the floor, cleaning the sink, wiping down the stove – which I always do after my husband “cleans up after dinner”.

biscuit
biscuit
15 years ago

I never rise my dishes before I put them in the machine. I mean, isn’t the point of having a dishwasher is that you don’t have to do the dishes? I get so hot too when everything on the top rack comes out with dried shit on them. . . my bad really, but it doesn’t deter me from not rinsing. I’m a bad ass.

L8ybug
L8ybug
15 years ago

I remember a dishwasher clogging and repair guy visiting incident when my daughter was about Dylan’s age. Do you by chance put his empty baby food jars in there without removing the paper label? My repair guy nailed the cause for me, and I was rather sheepish about it. Who’d have thought?

Also, inform JB about the sex-housework connection. More equal division of labor = more sex for husband!

BRash
BRash
15 years ago

Oh, BAH. Our Pediatrician told us to drug up our kid when we were taking a 16 hour flight. And that was AFTER the whole taking-all-the-children’s-drugs-off-the-shelves debacle, when you weren’t supposed to give your under-2-year-old ANY medication, including Benadryl.
Controversial Schmontroversial. Anyone who says you’re a Terrible Horrible Person can call my pediatrician!

Moose
15 years ago

My dad used to put port in my bottle when I wouldn’t shut up. My mother would hand my shrieking ass over and go for an hour long drive (probably to do some shrieking of her own), and when she’d get back, I’d be happily sucking down an alcoholic pink-tinged bottle.

And I turned out just fine. Mostly.

justmouse
15 years ago

i’m SO GLAD you didn’t get totally flamed for your post yesterday. as soon as i read it i figured all the PERFECT parents out there would totally attack you, and was afraid for you. but jeez, i get it! i totally understand! it’s been nearly 17 years since i wandered around my living room at 3 am rocking my wailing child in my zombie arms, begging him with tears streaming down my cheeks to PLEASE. just. go. to. sleep. dear GOD! oh, and just so you know, you can actually fall asleep in a rocking chair with a sleeping infant without dropping him on the floor like a stone. both of your arms will lose all feeling and you won’t actually be able to pick said sleeping infant up again, but it is possible.

also, my husband is afraid of the yucky wet dishrag and will run the dishwasher with only 2 dishes and a fork instead of actually hand washing anything. in 10 years of marriage he has vacuumed exactly twice. and to my knowledge, never in his 46 years of life has he EVER cleaned a toilet.

Sunsyn
15 years ago

Dyson’s are down to around $300 at Big Lots in Sacramento, CA. The basic one, I mean. I got no problem giving a shrieking baby benadryl in the middle of the night. I mean, you’re the mom, so it’s your decision. I just don’t like it when it’s my baby and you’re not the one who has custody. Then I have a problem with it. I finally got a sleep schedule established with sublingual melatonin from Source Naturals, but the kid was over three years old at the time. Sometimes we still need a little bit of that to get down, too. I still use it, actually; works like a charm. Benadryl doesn’t last long enough.

Elizabeth
15 years ago

I feel bad, I was one of the people that thought you were brave. But I swear it wasn’t because I wouldn’t do that my own self (except honestly, I would have caved long before you did) but because everyone pig piled you on crying it out earlier. I was sure the Internets would be all in your junk about it.

But everyone was civilized and awesome. Oops.

Nicole
15 years ago

I haven often remarked to my husband, when his housecleaning skills were on the wane, that if we were divorced, he would be responsible for 100% of the housework in his house so doing a mere 50% was actually a good deal. I have to admit that he is really good about sharing the chores when he gets home from work. His days off are another thing entirely. He is so lazy that I do wonder if he even bothers to wipe his ass… I try to stifle the snotty remarks on these occasions (when is my ‘day off’ again? I always forget to mark my calendar) but its hard.

bad penguin
15 years ago

My husband claims to be afraid to use my beloved Dyson because I’d kill him if he broke it. I’m not sure what he thinks he has to do with the vacuum that would break it, but whatever. To be fair, he is very, very good about both laundry and the doing the dishes, although he tends to just dump the clean laundry out in a pile, and then the dog naps in it. So sometimes my clean clothes are a little furry.

jen
jen
15 years ago

We did the 20% off coupon at Bed Bath and Beyond and so in total with tax, the smallest ball Dyson which is an ultra light 16 lbs was a little less than $350, which is totally expensive. But worth it. So worth it. I also saw the Dyson Animal in Costco for $350 the other day too. I do agree with the comment from pete above about the hose feature being not quite the best but overall I have been so happy with it.

Sarah
15 years ago

I’ve pulled the Benadryl trick a few times myself…so it didn’t even occur to me to be shocked by the confessional! *lol* Heck, I’ve slipped my teething baby booze (okay, I rubbed it on their gums…but still)…and it was the best night sleep I EVER had!!

sdg
sdg
15 years ago

goooood luck with the repair person! :D Also, 9 times out of ten, if it got in the hose part, thru the drainer thing, its stuck at the part where it connects to your kitchen sink. Dont worry, in 7 years or so, youll have a pair of dishwashers that dont get clogged! :D

Olivia
Olivia
15 years ago

I do all the vacuuming and laundry (he helps with folding sometimes, when I ask), but I see it as a fair trade because he does 80% of the dishes (no dishwasher), at least half the cooking and is acutally quite obsessive about cleaning the toilet. Folding clothes is no big deal if I don’t have to scrub the toilet.