Oh, what the hell. Relationship meme-y quiz thing, found via Dooce.

What are your middle names?

Mine is Lee, JB’s is William.

How long have you been together?

Just about exactly ten years: we started dating in 1999, and got married in 2001.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?

Maybe a year or so? We were both working for a company in Corvallis called Acres Gaming. I was their receptionist, JB was in purchasing. There was this whole thing about how employees were supposed to use a side door to avoid walking through the front office and disturbing the front desk person and JB would always come BARGING through the front door and stomp right by my desk on his way to the mailroom. He had me at RUDE BARGING ASSHOLE WHAT IS HIS GODDAMNED PROBLEM .

Who asked whom out?

I did my level best to send every message possible that I would be more than receptive to a, you know, overture on his part, but it wasn’t until I left that job and moved to Portland that we started talking over email and eventually dating. I’d say it was a mutual interest at that point, rather than one person asking the other out.

How old are each of you?

JB is 35, and as of today, so am I.

Whose siblings do you see the most?

Definitely JB’s, being as how I am an only child.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

Ah, that would probably be parenthood.

Did you go to the same school?

Nope. JB graduated from Oregon State University, and I *mumble mumble something school of hard knocks? mumble*


Are you from the same home town?

No, JB is originally from Coos Bay, Oregon, and I was born in Manassas, Virginia. One of us has fond memories of hush puppies, the other knows how to skin an elk.

Who is smarter?

JB is definitely smarter with numbers, logic, maps, and the uncanny ability to recognize actors’ voices in commercial voiceovers or animated films. I’m usually better with, uhhhh . . . what are those things called? Words. Yeah.


Who is the most sensitive?

Me, definitely. I am a delicate flower, when I’m not busy horrifying people around me with bukkake references.


Where do you eat out most as a couple?


A nearby sushi restaurant in Bellevue called Tuna House. Yes, we most often eat out as a couple at the TUNA HOUSE. Heh.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Thailand.

Who has the craziest exes?

Neither, I guess. No drama there. 


Who has the worst temper?

Hmm, probably me. I’m more apt to burst into flames during an argument, while JB is more of the issue-a-withering-statement-and-freeze-you-out-for-the-rest-of-the-night type. It’s been a long time since I’ve thrown anything at him, though, so maybe I’m making progress.


Who does the cooking?

JB’s idea of cooking is dialing a pizza place, so that would be me.


Who is the neat-freak?

JB is surprisingly anal about how dishes are supposed to be put in the dishwasher — I say surprisingly because this is the same man who recently tried to kill me with a horror-movie-esque knife arrangement — but I’m typically the one chasing down the majority of the clutter in our house. I wouldn’t say either one of us is a neat freak, though. Parenthood and neat-freakedness do not mix.

Who is more stubborn?

We are both hideously stubborn. It’s like two donkeys living together, and judging by Riley’s emerging heel-digging traits, our children are probably going to be GIANT PAINS IN THE ASS. Even more so than normal, I mean. 


I’ll tell you, though, JB’s stubbornness eclipses mine in certain areas. Example: so every time JB calls that aforementioned pizza place, he insists he has a coupon for a large pizza and demands the coupon price. He has never owned such a coupon and I don’t even know why he started saying he did, but usually the delivery guy doesn’t ask for it and the web of lies can continue. This week, however, the guy on the phone got cocky with JB and started asking for details — what did the coupon say, when did it expire, etc — and finally said, “Look, do you have a coupon or NOT?” JB kept saying he DID, but his WIFE had it so he couldn’t give out DETAILS, he’d just hand it over when the pizza was DELIVERED, GOD.

So the delivery guy shows up and it turns out, it’s the same guy who was on the phone. And instead of dying of SHAME, JB just says, “Dude, here’s the deal, I’ve got a twenty dollar bill here. I couldn’t find the coupon, but you can either ring it up at the more expensive price and take a smaller tip, or you can use the (FAKE) coupon price and keep the change. Your choice.”

Delivery guy goes for Option B, and JB’s all, SCORE. Even though it cost the SAME. Because damn it all, he has to get that (NONEXISTENT) COUPON PRICE, or the WORLD IS GOING TO END.

Who hogs the bed?


Neither, unless JB’s hoping for a little somethin’ somethin’. Which reminds me of the conversation we had yesterday after I’d gotten home from my uber-early flight from LA and had crawled into bed hoping for a quick nap before picking up the kids.

JB: “So . . . backdoor?”
Me: “You’re funny.”
JB: “Front door?”
Me: “AM TIRED. AND GROSS. LEAVE ME BE, HUSBAND.”
JB: “. . . mouth?”

Who wakes up earlier?

JB, usually, but not by much.

Where was your first date?


A New Year’s Eve party. He showed up with a backpack full of Coors Light. HOT.

Who is more jealous?

Neither of us, really.


How long did it take to get serious?


Not long. We started dating in January of 1999, and had moved in together by the summer.

Who eats more?


He usually eats more during a meal, but I’m the one who snacks pretty much all night long. (Here is where JB would like to say something about a protein snack, but for god’s sake, I’m talking about baby carrots.)

Who does the laundry?

JB can put dirty clothes in the washing machine and turn it on, I don’t think he’s physically capable of the remaining steps. Sometimes I “accidentally” drop his clean underwear on the dog-hair-littered floor as I’m taking it out of the dryer. What?

Who’s better with the computer?


I used to be the only one with a Mac, so at one point he was far better than me with a PC but could not figure out how to use the Finder in Mac OS X (“I AM CLICKING THE SMILEY FACE WHAT NOW?”). Now that he’s got a MacBook, he’s probably more proficient at me in general, although I’m better at certain apps.

Who drives when you are together?

JB, almost always. He has “control issues” and clearly fancies himself the better driver. I’ll concede to his superior ability to back into tight parking spots and navigate off-road, but I’d also like to point out that only one of us has received, like, three speeding tickets in the last year.

Your turn! Come on, it’s more fun than that 25 Things quiz.

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Heather-in-Australia
Heather-in-Australia
15 years ago

That beautiful awwangement …

Oh, and also? One of our chickens is called bukkake (bok-bok-bok-bukkake!).

Nicole
Nicole
15 years ago

Happy Birthday!

Heather-in-Australia
Heather-in-Australia
15 years ago

And oh yeah! Happy Birthday!

(Also, forgot to say, stole Bukkake as the name for our chicken completely from your website – a comment you made somewhere – ages ago. In a non-stalkery, shit-that’s-funny kind of way).

(Every time I comment I get scared I’ll sound stalkery. I am socially RETARDED).

Jill
Jill
15 years ago

Happy Birthday!

Kelsey
15 years ago

Happy birthday!

Christina
15 years ago

Happy Birthday! I read most of this post to my husband and the pizza story had us both in tears. Ahh, tell JB thanks for the laugh!

warcrygirl
15 years ago

Your conversations with JB sound eerily like mine with Hubby. I shared the bed-hogging answer with him and his only response was “Well, you’ve got to keep your options open”. Also: Happy Birthday!

M.A.
M.A.
15 years ago

Happy Birthday! I think you deserve a couponless-pizza and a quiet nap sans inquiries about available orifii. (OHmyGOD that is so totally my husband… The pizza thing, I mean!) I knew I had a cyber crush on JB for a reason! Wait… does he also try to “teach” EVERY DRIVER HE ENCOUNTERS about the “passing” lane? Because mine does. It’s really… uhm… endearing.

SJ
SJ
15 years ago

Happy Birthday Linda!

I was born and raised in Woodbridge, Virginia, what a small world! Were you still in Manassas when the whole Lorena Bobbitt ordeal took place? I’m guessing no, but anytime I try to explain to people where I am from, that whole wang chopping incident triggers memories. It totally put Manassas on the map! Oh, and your fond memories of hush puppies. Would that be because of Chesapeake Bay Seafood House?

You and JB are an awesome pair. For someone who doesn’t even know you I’m pretty damn fond of you guys just the same – and not in a stalkerish way. This was really funny to read (JB has a MAC? I’m shocked…..).

Angella
15 years ago

Happy, happy birthday!

I probably would have seen this on Twitter if I was not suffering from the Virus Of Epic Proportions.

Hope you have a good one!

Teralyne
Teralyne
15 years ago

Happy birthday to you

Victoria
15 years ago

Happy Birthday!!! :D

Amy
Amy
15 years ago

Delurking after laughing so hard I’m crying over the pizza coupon thing. That is pure awesomeness!

It’s funny how some of our answers are overlapping: http://hardtobehuman.blogspot.com/2009/02/this-is-not-dog-blog.html

Michelle
Michelle
15 years ago

Thanks for sharing! JB always looks familiar to me, and now I think I probably knew him in 92-94 when I was at OSU (and hung out w/ a group from Coos Bay).

Amy
Amy
15 years ago

Oh, yeah, and happy birthday! Sorry, I’m a self-absorbed jackass.

mnerva
mnerva
15 years ago

Happy Birthday, Linda!

Carmen
15 years ago

I enjoyed this post, especially the little glimpse into JB’s psyche with the pizza coupon story. And I’d like to wish you a very happy birthday!

erin
15 years ago

happy birthday!

and i did it.

Anais
Anais
15 years ago

Happy birthday! May you have many more wonderful bdays!

Here are my answers to the meme: http://thesillycake.blogspot.com/2009/02/relationship-meme.html

telegirl
telegirl
15 years ago

I don’t have a website so I’m posting here. BTW, Happy Birthday! Is it really that time of year again?!

What are your middle names?
Mine is Marie (the default female middle name!) and my husband’s is Stephen.

How long have you been together?
Almost exactly five years, married for 3 1/2.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Um, two weeks? He answered an ad for a roommate in the paper and moved in. Within two weeks we were making out and then the rest goes pretty fast after that! His first fear was that if he made a pass that I’d make him move out.

How old are each of you?
I am 38 (for a couple more weeks!) and hubby is 39.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Mine. Definitely. We aren’t exactly on friendly terms with his sister and his brother (whom we love) lives in Kauai. We’re in Oregon. Not exactly easy.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Money. Isn’t that one of the number one causes of divorce?!

Did you go to the same school?
No, I went to U of O ages ago and my husband is about to graduate from OIT.

Are you from the same home town?
No. He’s from California and I’m from Oregon.

Who is smarter?
I think we complement eachother in different ways. He’s smarter with math, etc. and I’m smarter with arts and entertainment. He can make and fix anything around the house and I can fix computers and do all the finances.

Who is the most sensitive?
That would have to be me. Although, since our son was born I have seen a new tenderness with hubby that I did not realize existed.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Sadly, we don’t eat out as much together anymore. We have a two year old. ‘Nuf said.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Kauai

Who has the craziest exes?
SeriouslY CRAZY bitches in my ex’s past.

Who has the worst temper?
Definitely my husband. He’s more high-strung but he’s getting better.

Who does the cooking?
Me mostly but hubby definitely jumps in a lot.

Who is the neat-freak?
I agree with you, neat-freak and parenting do NOT go hand-in-hand.

Who is more stubborn?
Definitely hubby. I would consider myself pretty stubborn, though.

Who hogs the bed?
Him!!

Who wakes up earlier?
Him. Sigh…

Where was your first date?
Since he moved in before we really dated, we really didn’t have a “first date”. My husband laughs that it was about a month ago when my Mom watched our two year-old so we could go to a movie. :o)

Who is more jealous?
I don’t think either of us is really has a jealous streak.

How long did it take to get serious?
Zero to moved-in-together-and-dating in less than two weeks. Life is weird.

Who eats more?
My husband is giving me advice on this one from a mouth full of Crunch’N’Munch. So I say HIM! However, his response is “pound-for-pound” we eat the same. Guess who’s not gettin’ some tonight?

Who does the laundry?
We met later in life so we’re used to doing our own laundry. Since little guy came along I do mine and little guy’s and husband has a convenient habit of leaving his laundry in the dryer so I have to either drop it on the dog-hair-ridden floor/bed or do something with it. Mostly he goes to work covered in white dog hair.

Who’s better with the computer?
God, me!! I constantly have to troubleshoot for everyone around me since I have worked in “the industry” for 15 years.

Who drives when you are together?
Hubby. But, I’m OK with it because I can relax. I get wound up about passing people, etc. and so when he drives I can relax. Plus, I usually have a little something in my Starbucks travel cup so that would preclude me from driving on long trips! What?! I don’t have a problem, I just take advantage of the opportunity.. the child is locked up (in their carseat)!

Colleen
Colleen
15 years ago

Happy Birthday!!!

Kristi
15 years ago

I like how you ever-so-subtly sneaked in that today is your birthday! Happy Birthday.

Our relationship paths are eerily similar. You freak me out.

Jennifer
15 years ago

Happy Birthday! Make those boys do something nice for you!

velocibadgergirl
15 years ago
Jennifer
15 years ago

Happy Birthday! I nominated you for a Honest Scrap award over at my blog. You probably get awards all the time seeing as how hilarious your blog is, but I thought I’d add one in.

Mmmm…hushpuppies. I love getting those when I’m down south. For my hubby’s many speeding tickets we’ve used Jeanie Mucklestone for our lawyer. Just give her $350 and she magically makes them disappear.

Kate
15 years ago

Happy Birthday Linda! I hope this next year is the best yet and brings you everything your little heart desires. :)

p.s. Today is my dad’s birthday too!

TheGoriWife
15 years ago

1. Happy Birthday!

2. I had no idea about Lorena Bobbit/Manassas!!! I’m thisclose to Manassas, too!

3. I did this too! http://thegoriwifelife.blogspot.com/2009/02/getting-to-knooooow-you.html

Amy
Amy
15 years ago

Happy Birthday!

Michelle
Michelle
15 years ago

Happy Birthday! Thanks for the meme, definitely a cute one.

Leah
15 years ago

Happy birthday!!!

Also, my love for JB is bordering on inappropriate.

Amy
Amy
15 years ago

Happy Birthday! We (or shall I say he)had three speeding tickets in three different states last year and two parking tickets. Only a small fortune.

Hillary
15 years ago

Happy birthday!

Eric's Mommy
15 years ago

Happy day after b-day!!

I’ll do a short version of the meme:

What are your middle names?
Mine, Jean. His David.

How long have you been together?
11 years this year.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Not long AT ALL

Who asked whom out?
It was kind of a mutual thing.

How old are each of you?
Me, 29. Him 35.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Mine, since he doesn’t have any.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Money

Did you go to the same school?
Nope, well kind of, we went to the same college, where we met.

Are you from the same home town?
Nope, but close by.

Who is smarter?
Me when it comes to common sense type stuff. Him when it comes to money type stuff.

Who is the most sensitive?
Me totally.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
A chinese place called “Yummy Garden”

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Scotland

Who has the craziest exes?
Neither

Who has the worst temper?
ME

Who does the cooking?
Him, I hate to cook.

Who is the neat-freak?
Me, but not a freak.

Who is more stubborn?
ME ME ME

Who hogs the bed?
Me

Who is more jealous?
Me

How long did it take to get serious?
A couple months.

Who eats more?
Me, even though he weighs over 300 pounds

Who does the laundry?
Me mostly, he likes to shrink my stuff in the dryer.

Who’s better with the computer?
Me

Who drives when you are together?
Him, because (get this) he is too tall to sit in the passenger seat with our son’s booster behind him since he needs to put the seat all the way back. I won’t move Eric’s seat to the driver’s side because we just have him and I am paranoid.

Wow, all done!

Melissa
Melissa
15 years ago

Happy Belated Birthday! In my house, we celebrate birthdays for a least a week so I hope you get to incorporate yours into the weekend…with lots of cake, of course…Gillian be damned!

Jenny
15 years ago

Happy Birfday!

And I’m another NoVA baby checking in — born in Alexandria.

Olga
15 years ago

Best (belated) wishes on your Birthday:)

I did the meme over here if anyone cares to read: http://theobvious.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/783-things/

Emblita
15 years ago

Happy Birthday! Hope you had a great time!

Wonderful meme :)

birdgal
birdgal
15 years ago

What IS it about men and the ‘back door’?? I think my husband just likes to see what I’ll say (and he knows it bugs the shit out of me). Happy (belated) Birthday!!

Ellen
15 years ago

I’ll just tack on my (belated) happy birthday here! And, I’d be ever so happy if you stopped by and joined in my Primal Scream Friday.

piecemeal people
15 years ago

“…the uncanny ability to recognize actors’ voices in commercial voiceovers or animated films” – I happen to share that talent with your husband, and it freaks people out! I’ve been trying to figure out a way to capitalize on it but unless some sort of game show crops up, it shall remain a quirk.

h
h
15 years ago

What are your middle names?
Mine is Elise (pronounced Elisa), Hubs is Michael
How long have you been together?
Um, a long time? Probably 10 years or so.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Like 5 minutes. We met at a wedding in Michigan(we were paired up as bridesmaid/groomsman) and I would say our first date, if you could call it that, was right after the reception. We changed out of our outfits and went downtown to the casinos and partied all night. I think I got home at 11am next day.

Who asked whom out?
Dunno…We basically bonded over a mutual dislike of another person and decided we didn’t want to go with the rest of the wedding party after the wedding. Like a “oh, I hate that guy” “you hate that guy? I hate that guy”. It was love at first hate.

How old are each of you?
I am 36 and a half Hubs is 38 and three quarters.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Well not as much of either side as I would like – families are spread out coast to coast. But I would say his sister, as she regularly travels to visit us.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Being parents.

Did you go to the same school?
Nope. I went to NYU and Hubs went to various schools in Michigan.

Are you from the same home town?
Roughly. Both from outside Detroit, although I was an East Sider, he was a West Sider. Makes holiday trips easy cause our families live within an hour of one another.

Who is smarter?
Well, I guess I’ll say something diplomatic, like we balance one another out – he’s better at math and I’m better at everything else. Hah!

Who is the most sensitive?
Aah, I guess me, although he definitely surprises me with sensitive moments.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Well we don’t eat out a terrible amount and when we do we try to spread it out. We live in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn which is home to a sick amount of fabulous restaurants.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
All over Europe.

Who has the craziest exes?
We both like to pretend we were virgin flowers who had never dated before we met one another. And sometimes it works. :)

Who has the worst temper?
Freakin A – totally Hubs, hands down! I am pretty laid back. Sometimes I seethe, but quietly.

Who does the cooking?
We both do. I guess I kind of establish the recipes and then show him how to do it.

Who is the neat-freak?
BY FAR the Hubs. I am more of a where-ever I was when I took it off that’s where it stays. It drives him crazy. But when I clean, man get out of the way. I will scrub stuff down, I can’t stand dirty. Don’t mind messy at all but dirty. Ew.

Who is more stubborn?
Hmm, I guess prob Hubs. I don’t think either one of us is terribly stubborn.

Who hogs the bed?
Hubs would if he could but over 10 years, he’s been poked enough to “move oooover”

Who wakes up earlier?
Usually wake up around the same time (ie when the baby wakes up).

Where was your first date?
Casinos, Detroit. And I would use the term “date” as a very loose descriptor.

Who is more jealous?
Hubs was early in the relationship, now not so much.

How long did it take to get serious?
After doing a long distance thing for about 6 months, Hubs packed up and moved in with me to the East Village in NYC.

Who eats more?
Hubs usually unless it’s that time of the month and I will hoover anything that resembles snack foods and/or chocolate and comes anywhere near my maw.

Who does the laundry?
Hubs 100% I think he actually likes to do it. But he sucks with folding and putting away so I do that.

Who’s better with the computer?
Oh, totally Hubs if it is the MAC and me with the PC.

Who drives when you are together?
Mixed, we both do. We don’t do a lot of driving, living in a city.

h
h
15 years ago

um, and edited to say Happy Belated Birthday too!
I’m a long time reader, but have only very recently started to de-lurk.

el-e-e
15 years ago

Happy Birthday, Linda! Love the post and esp. the title. “…I AM CLICKING THE SMILEY FACE WHAT NOW…” just cracked me right up.

Cassie
Cassie
15 years ago

What are your middle names?
Mine is Marie, His is Patric

How long have you been together?
16 years together, married 10. He snatched me up when I was a wee teen.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Not long, a few months. He is 5 years older. We went to the same school, but not at the same time.

Who asked whom out?
There was really to “asking out”. At that time you just kind of said, hey so and so is having a party and I am going, are you?

How old are each of you?
I am 32, he is 37

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Probably equal. We really do not see them very often at all.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Agreeing on change.

Did you go to the same school?
Yes, but at different times.

Are you from the same home town?
Yes.

Who is smarter?
I think he is, but we both specialize in our areas of expertise.

Who is the most sensitive?
Me, although he can turn the water works on when it is called for.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
It varies.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Hawaii

Who has the craziest exes?
Probably him. No drama here either.

Who has the worst temper?
I would say we tie in this category, but it has been a while since we have had a blow out.

Who does the cooking?
We both do.

Who is the neat-freak?
ME!

Who is more stubborn?
We are tied in this category as well. Neither of us likes to admit when we are wrong and will hold out and try to prove our case.

Who hogs the bed?
He does. I get the rail. (We have a water bed. I know Hello 1980)

Who wakes up earlier?
ME. He sleeps until I go back into the bedroom and blow dry my hair in front of the fan. That is his clue it is time to get his ass out of bed.

Where was your first date?
Didn’t really have one. He started picking me up from my job at Dairy Queen. We would go to my house and watch movies and then he would go home. We never had an official “first date”.

Who is more jealous?
Me unfortunately.

How long did it take to get serious?
Not long. After two weeks he told me he loved me. I was a little taken aback considering I did not even know if we were exclusive. Especially since a few weeks earlier he was telling me he did not want to get into a relationship with me and we should just hang out. When I was 17, I moved in with him and it has been that way ever since.

Who eats more?
I think he does because he has diabetes.

Who does the laundry?
Me. He is not allowed to do it.

Who’s better with the computer?
He is. He is a computer programmer.

Who drives when you are together?
Me. We carpool and I drop him off, go to my job and then pick him up on the way home.

Happy Birthday!

ikate
15 years ago

Happy Birthday, Linda.

And since you asked…you can see mine here:
http://www.kakakakaty.com/?p=290

erin
15 years ago

happy birthday! And I supposed I could do this, too, even though I have maybe one person who reads my blog? But gotta entertain them somehow, right?

bessie.viola
15 years ago

Happy Birthday!

This had me cracking up – you guys are similar to my husband and I in several ways. I took the bait and filled it out:

http://bessieviola.wordpress.com/2009/02/20/in-honor-of-valentines-day-you-know-last-week-and-all/

Jill
15 years ago

Happy Birthday, Linda!
Here are my answers, thanks for the posting idea:

http://thencamemarriage.blogspot.com/2009/02/stealing-meme.html

Amanda
15 years ago

Happy Birthday!

It is also my daughter’s birthday!