May
15
When Riley and I were in DC a few weeks ago for the Hershey’s/Night at the Museum event, we were sitting with the other bloggers at breakfast and I somehow won a free trip back to DC for the Night at the Museum 2 premiere. I was kind of confused about the whole thing because they called my name while I was having this intense discussion with Mom-101‘s nephew Brodie about coffee and he was just in the middle of asking why people don’t just pour coffee on their heads instead of drinking it in the morning and I was all dude, I think you’re on to something there, that would sure wake MY ass up, and then someone was all, “Linda!” and I was like Riley stop standing on your chair and eat your cereal huh?
Which is how I came to be at some fancypants movie premiere last night with the actual stars of the movie in attendance and lots of women wearing fierce shoes and jutting collarbones and everyone being very cool except of course for me, because I was busy urging Amy to do the “I’m crushing your head!” thing at Owen Wilson.
She totally did it, too. Ha ha ha DOOOOORRK!
I was determined to get a picture of the two of us flanking Ben Stiller, maybe giving him rabbit ears or forcing him to yell MOMMYBLAWWG or something while we towered over him in our heels (such a cliche and yet so true: movie stars, they’re just like Us! Assuming Us = short), and I actually went so far as to grab his arm as he was being ushered by, because oh, you know, why NOT physically accost the guy surrounded with security, but sadly he scampered away before I could drag him to a halt.
Whoah, check it out! It’s Ricky Gervais! Oh Ricky you’re so fine you’re so fine you blow my mind hey Ricky! Hey RICKY! Ha ha ha ha haaaa I bet you have never heard THAT one before, Mr. Gervais! Wait where are you going?
After the celebrity-gawking we filed into a giant IMAX theater and watched the movie and that was pretty enjoyable, partially because the film has some legitimately laugh-out-loud funny scenes and partially because the good people at Hershey’s had provided these massive feed-bags of Reese’s Pieces (which I heard Owen Wilson dismiss when offered some by his handler. “I don’t need any damn candy“, he said, like OMG my body is a temple. Men who fear sugar: Hot or Not? I say Not, even when combined with a sexy broken-ass nose).
Afterwards there was this big fancy party thing and instead of mingling I holed up with Amy and we talked about, wait for it, our kids. Everyone else was standing around nibbling at canapes and teetering back and forth in their stilettos and looking very posh and I was like OH MAN POTTY TRAINING I KNOW. The guy who plays Napoleon in the movie was standing nearby with his swan-necked, much-younger girlfriend and I think I actually drove them away with my enthusiastic, detailed description of our post-potty wiping technique.
Clearly I shouldn’t be invited to such things and in fact probably should never leave the confines of my house, but ANYWAY, it was a fantastically fun evening, particularly because I finally got to meet Amy in person. I’m super grateful to Hershey’s for the trip, and for the extra ten pounds of ass-fat I gained from their delicious candy that Owen Wilson wouldn’t eat.
Comments
-
My product review site:
[
Beyond jealous for a million and one reasons. What an experience!
Silly Owen. Pshaw.
I love your necklace…is that one of those with the boys’ names etched in?
Man, I’ll eat Owen Wilson’s candy anyday. Uh, wait, I mean I’ll take his *protion* of the candy. The stuff he turned down. Oh…you know what I mean.
It looks like the two of you had an awesome time. So very cool.
so cool to see a photo of my two fave bloggers – from two completely different coasts.
Now, my question is, which side of the red velvet rope were you on? Did you actually walk the red carpet???
Very cool. Your tweets now make so much more sense. Ha!
I think I love you for talking about potty training instead of pretending to be, well, cool. Except potty training is cool. When handled properly.
Which leads me to…what is your top-secret wiping technique? I have girls, so I wonder if it will do me any good anyway?
P.S. For the record, you are cool, even if I just implied otherwise above.
Owen Wilson turned down free Reese’s Pieces? I guess he and I are not destined for each other after all.
I think I have you beat in the celebrity gawking situation…I got to share a beach with Elle MacPherson. Yeah, that’s who you want to be next to in a bathing suit. I do envy your experience, however. Friends of ours had a Night at the Museum experience at the Field Museum in Chicago this weekend. They are camping out in the Field Museum! That I do not envy in the least. This is the friend who wanted to make sure that they had gluten-free snacks available there. Yeah.
I would have been so tempted to make a comment to Ben Stiller’s wife – aka Melody from “Hey Dude.” Loser = me.
Emma: that is the necklace, yes! I love it and wear it all the time.
Kalisah: we TOTALLY walked the red carpet, it was so cool. Except for the part where I was snorting and giggling and elbowing Amy and trying to paw Ben Stiller. So maybe “cool” isn’t quite the right word.
Casey: bent over, hands and feet on the floor, butt in the air. Waving it like you just don’t care.
I would have totally geeked out seeing Ricky Gervais in person. Just one of 1,000 reasons I’d probably be kicked out of LA.
Also Owen – how about a “no thanks” instead of “I don’t need any damned candy.” Jackass. Men who fear sugar + act like dicks to people who are trying to help them = not hot.
What? Owen Wilson is too good for Reese’s Pieces?
At least you were INVITED to an event unlike me, who is such a star you-know-whatter that when they were making a movie here in Michigan I had to go hover around with like 100 other uninvited people to watch the new Hillary Swank / Minnie Driver movie being filmed, and all I have to show for it is a shoulder slam with Ms. Swank who was for chrissakes just trying to get to her PEEPS, for the love of PETE. She was extremely polite and I felt like a complete dolt because she had every right to say BE GONE, WEIRD MOVIE STAR STALKING WOMAN! but she didn’t. She’s tiny. So is Minnie Driver. And Tony Goldwyn, the director, is actually quite delish with a fabulous full head of hair, and oh yes, they really DO say: ac-TION!
P.S. I heart you for many MANY reasons, but I have to say the Mother’s Day photo picture and caption is a classic. I’m still chuckling.
Coolest blogger meet-up ever! :) Glad you both got to enjoy a fancy event! You deserve it!
I’m thinking of taking that photo of you and Amy with me to the hairdresser and telling them, “Pick one of these awesome haircuts! Make me cute like them!”
Also, I’ve never been all that on the Owen Wilson bandwagon, but now I am officially and totally off it, and also giving it the finger. WHO disdains CANDY? Especially Reese’s Pieces? I would have been stuffing them in my mouth by the fistful.
Maybe is Owen Wilson had a few Reese’s Pieces he wouldn’t be so depressed. Works for me, anyway.
You get to have all the fun! And maybe Owen wanted some *nose* candy. Or a cigarette.
Definitely hobnobbing with the hobiest, only you don’t want to stand to close to Ricky Gervais, that dude has bad luck getting hit by buses.
Swan-necked! You crack me up.
Note: Audubon Ron has cold Reeses Pieces here in his refrigerator at work.
OMG. Potty training talk during a swanky movie premier party? Your coolness meter just went off the freakin’ chart with me. You’re my inspiration!
Men who fear sugar not hot? Look at it this way: more candy for you!
Holy crap! We have the same wipe technique at our house. No pun intended. And it applies to the children, not the adults. Although what a sight that would be walking in on your signif other with ass in air wiping it like they just don’t care!
I feel like a jackass, but I’ll say it anyway…ummm…”try to off myself: check eat damned candy: no” – MAYBE he ought to rethink this priorities…I’m just saying. Candy takes ME to a happy place… ;) He’s cute as the cowboy all the same to me. Owen. I’m talking about Owen.
And Ben Stiller – what a cutie. Damn about not getting a picture with him – after all the working out seems like you could have pulled his little ass over between the two of you. Avoiding being kicked out by security…oh, right, that. Gotcha.
Sounds great – thanks for sharing it with us!
kim
Dude! That’s totally what we do! I am so much more familiar with that part of my child’s anatomy than I was ever told I would be by the baby books.
Great post on the premiere!
As far as Owen’s behavior – borderline personality disorder (perhaps bipolar) with unaddressed substance abuse problems.
I wouldn’t trade places with him for all the money, sports cars and Malibu beach houses in the world.
He needs help.
You guys totally look like you could be sisters! So cute!
You two look HAWT! :) Looks like you even have the same shade of lipstick. Too cute.
My hubby and I call Owen Wilson ole shovel nose. What is UP with that thing 8-o
I want to see full body shots! What did you wear on the red carpet?
That necklace is GORGEOUS! Where did you get it? And you look beautiful and so excited to be there.
I SQUISH YOUR HEAD! hahaha, I can’t get that image out of my head! Totally awesome!!!
Sundry, did you know you are in this access hollywood video??? Looking gorgeous, too.
http://www.accesshollywood.com/night-at-the-museum-battle-of-the-smithsonian-premiere_video_1103761
1) Reese’s pieces are the best – I can eat them for hours without getting sick of them, and;
2) we use the same butt-wiping method, and;
3) Owen Wilson is a douche. That is all.
Ooops:
4) This is the first muggy day we’ve had here in DC this year, but it’s an especially sticky one. So much for spring.
Linda I just saw the video of you taking a picture of the back of owen wilsons head, too freaking funny, he must have been vibing your stalkish ways, when he turned around you look so guilty….hysterical!!
I’m with you on the NOT count. I wouldn’t want to eat chocolate chip ice cream alone.
And that’s basically the food group that’s fueling my pregnancy. Chocolate chip ice cream. Which I think has sugar. So. Yeah.
How fun! Probably surreal for you too. :)
Way to sneak in on Owen’s interview. Well done.
Dude, you totaly look like a school girl with a crush when Owen Wilson turned around. You were all, “Hee hee! (blush)” And he was all, “Spidey sense tingling.” That must have been pretty cool though. I’ve never met a celebrity. I’ve never even met a local news person or radio personality, and they get paid to go hang out with the public. I’d say if I could meet any celebrity ever, it would be Gianna Michaels the porn star, because even a slim chance of banging Gianna Michaels would be cooler than meeting the entire populace of Hollywood. But unfortunately that will probably never happen. Oh well, such is life. Glad you had fun almost meeting famous short people.
Looks and sounds like a blast, insanely jealous! Owen must have a nut allergy, no one turns down Reese’s Pieces.
Good thing we, readers, encouraged you to go to DC with Riley in the first place, eh?! Don’t we deserve a reward or something? ;)
Oh man I actually love Owen Wilson. First I hear Jon and Kate are a sham, now I hear Owen is into the blow? So sad, let’s instead talk about Ben Stiller’s weird hair over the ears thing he has going on. JK, as you were.
I just saw the video too… Too Funny! I loved it when he turned around and you acted like you get to make eye contact with celebrities all the time! Although, maybe you weren’t so enamored if you’d already overheard the candy remark. Way to make it to the big time! ;)
I think you have to be a little weird to be a celebrity – I’m not sure if you start out that way but it seems inevitable on some level. Your comment about Wilson’s body being a temple made me laugh. Candy = bad. A couple lines of cocaine & a bottle of Jack = no problem. Of course I’m just speculating here – maybe he had a couple cheeseburgers before the premiere and couldn’t eat another bite.
My two favorite bloggers!
Looks like you had a blast! Loved seeing you in the video, made me giggle a little :)
The fire is gone! If the carmel stallion won’t eat candy, then he is not the man for me. Thank you for settling this issue.
Because if loving peanutbutter+chocolate is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Lesley is right! You’re behind Owen Wilson trying to subtly take his picture all the while being video taped by Access Hollywood. You’re a fauxlebrity!
It seriously makes me all squirmy happy to think of you and Amy hanging out! I keep wondering why they haven’t hired BOTH of you for Momversation…c’mon Momversation, get it together!
lOL my body is my temple. i love it!
What a weekend Linda! I guess for some the body is a semi-rehabilitated temple, but it’s hard to continue crushing on anyone who uses the word “candy” with any measure of disdain.
And also that’s hilarious about Brodie. He was totally obsessed with coffee the whole weekend. He was alternately telling me that it was against his religion to have coffee (as opposed to against his AGE which is 11), and then pantomiming drinking it every chance he got.
I totally would have been squee’ing over two of my favorite bloggers in one place… Ben who? ;)
I can’t believe this premier was so close. I would totally have loved to go ;) I’m glad you had a good time. I can’t believe you were thatclose to Owen Wilson, even if he doesn’t like candy (although, who doesn’t like candy, especially chocolate?).
You look beautiful, and I’m so totally jealous of the fact that you attended a movie premier.