Jul

13

Aiming slightly upwards

Filed Under Uncategorized | 114 Comments

I’ve been thinking about doing a triathlon, and the only reason I’m even considering such a bugfuck crazy endeavor is because I’ve been trying to stop selling myself short when it comes to physical activities. I’ve spent my entire adult life being convinced I’m too wimpy and uncoordinated to do anything athletic, and it’s only now at 35-damn-years-old that I’ve finally decided to start pushing the limits of what I think I’m capable of.

I credit the training gym I’ve been going to with helping me shift my way of thinking. Every week, they physically shove me out of my comfort zone, and ask me to do things I would never in a million years do on my own. Sprinting in intervals on a treadmill with the incline set at a level I can only describe as “vertical, only somehow more so”? Not really something I’d ever have the motivation to endure without a witness, you know? Ditto forty thousand triceps extensions in a row, or football drill running through a ladder, or trying to hit a target with a ball while furiously pedaling a stationary bike.

With each challenge, I realize that while I am in fact woefully clumsy and typically need about seventeen demonstrations before I can even attempt any new exercise that requires coordination or balance or the ability to remember my left from my right (just ask my workout partner Dawn, who every week politely refrains from doubling over and braying with laughter at my constant blundering), I can do this stuff. I may not do it with style or grace or even a modicum of personal dignity, but the realm of “impossible” is always much further away than I tend to think.

I’d like to mark a triathlon off my life list, not only because it sounds so badass (just the word triathlon is kind of hardcore, don’t you think? Triathlon. I practically need an energy bar just to type that shit), but because it seems like something that’s way too hard for me to do. And you know? I bet it’s not.

In order to meet this goal, not only do I need to work on my endurance (I’m thinking of how I felt during those two 5Ks I did earlier this summer, and trying to imagine what running after a swim/bike event will feel like. Probably like HOT SCREAMING DEATH, right?) and strategize the very best pose for showing off that sexy arm-marker number you wear during the race, but there’s also the small matter of, um, learning how to swim.

It’s not that I have no idea how to swim, really, it’s just that whatever technique I might have had when I was ten years old and learning how to flounder my way through the various strokes has long since exited my brain and muscle memory. I tried a brisk crawl while we were at the river last weekend, thinking that it would be one of those skills that comes back to you right away no matter how many years it’s been since you did anything other than a don’t-get-my-hair-wet! dog paddle, aaaaaand . . . not so much. I was spluttery and gaspy and my arms felt tired INSTANTLY and I was flailing and splashing and kicking these big loud blooshes of water without actually going anywhere and I couldn’t figure out what to do with my face and I got water up my nose and when I stopped I realized I’d propelled myself forward by maybe ten feet and I was exhausted. The only way I could complete the swimming section of a triathlon right now is if I did a leisurely back float across all 400 meters, perhaps while clinging to an innertube.

There’s a “Get Out There and Tri” (love it!) super-sprint triathlon in September, where you only swim 400 yards, ride 9 miles, and run 2 miles. I think I should give that one a try, and in the meantime, find a pool and have someone teach me how to do something other than act like a drowning cat when submerged in water. I’ve been wanting to take Riley to swimming lessons, so hey, maybe there’s a Remedial Mother-Preschooler special out there.

In conclusion:

• GOAL: TRIATHLON
• CHALLENGE: CANNOT SWIM FOR SHIT, ALSO AM SURE WOULD BARF/DIE RIGHT NOW IF RUNNING/BIKING WERE TO BE COMBINED
• SOLUTION: START GOING TO AQUATIC CENTER. TRY MINI RUN/BIKE COMBOS.
• MINI-GOAL: SUPER SPRINT TRIATHLON SEPTEMBER 19
• NOT SURE WHY I’M: TYPING IN ALL CAPS

Do you have any short-term/long-term goals you’re thinking about right now? What are you doing to accomplish them?

Jul

10

My life at the moment

Filed Under Uncategorized | 30 Comments

” . . . up.”

“Up. Up.”

grunt grunt grunt grunt

“UP!”

” . . . ”

“Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! UPPPPP! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!”

*boost*

sofapic_09
“!!!!”

” . . . ”

” . . . ”

“. . . Doon.”

” . . . ”

“Doon! Doon! Doon! Doon! Doon! Doon! Doon! DOOOOOON! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!”

echo This is an infinite loop goto START

← Previous Page — Next Page →