May
5
This past weekend John and I drove to Corvallis to watch Riley compete in a track meet, we’ve seen several collegiate meets at this point and this was one of the better-run events in that everything happened on time. (I’ve been to a few where the jumps schedule seemed like a lofty and ever-shifting goal no one was particularly adhering to, a real bummer especially when the weather is crap.) Unfortunately he scratched all three of his jumps, which is to say he went over the line where you’re supposed to take off from even though in video playback it didn’t seem like he did, the triple jump is a grim bit of choreography where millimeters can fudge all the endless hours of training. Well, I guess you can say that about most sports pretty much? At any rate it was excruciating from a parents’ perspective, we don’t care if he wins or gets a certain number or anything like that, we just want him to feel good about how he performed, and of course no one wants to foul out. That is such a hard thing about watching your kid in sports! I feel like it’s so easy to celebrate successes but much harder to commiserate over the losses, and we’ve all been there. I’m so proud of this kid for working his butt off to get into a D1 track program, I’m so bummed he hasn’t had the season he was hoping for. I’m extra proud of him for continuing to apply so much discipline to his training, for not giving up, and for already planning ahead for next season.
He’s been doing great in school — his grades have been terrific, he found a part-time job, and he’s been managing a successful relationship with a lovely girl here in Eugene. The main thing I can really say about having a kid off in college is that you do get used to it, even if it doesn’t feel like you ever will when they first leave. It’s crazy what you get used to, isn’t it? I remember feeling that way during the early pandemic weeks and then months: I can’t believe what we humans just … get used to, after a while. We’re so adaptable, even in the suckiest of situations.
At first it was really weird and sad to have him come home and then leave again, and now I am pretty used to it. He does come home fairly frequently, thanks to the girlfriend, although we don’t see a lot of him when he is here. It’ll be nice to have him around for summer break, which will be here before we know it.
It’s going to be harder when Dylan leaves, because that will really mark the end of an era and will bring so many changes overall. I do think Riley was pretty ready to leave when he did, maybe because he was older than a lot of seniors, and Dylan will be less so. But who knows, one thing that never changes is how much things just keep on changing.
Dylan also has a part-time job, his first, and while he doesn’t work a lot of hours I think it’s been such a great experience for him. He was kind of dreading it, and now I think he kind of enjoys it. It sounds like there’s a lot of camaraderie, which is the main thing I remember with fondness about my early minimum-wage gigs. Standout jobs for me included working at Kinko’s, RIP, a movie theater, and a video rental store, also RIP. They paid absolute garbage wages, had lame hours, often involved being berated by the public, and I had more fun with coworkers there than I ever did at any decent job afterwards.
This is a real bittersweet stage of parenting, the season of letting go and almost-lasts. Dylan’s finishing up his junior year and then next year will be the final bit of high school for him and his last football season. I really have a sense of trying to soak up what I can, enjoy the final months of having a gangly teenager around leaving messes everywhere and available for impromptu Starbucks outings and Dairy Mart runs. It’ll be all too soon before he’s also off figuring out his next steps in life and I’ll be having to get used to a house that’s too quiet and too clean. And I will, even though it won’t feel like it at first. It’ll all keep going and changing, if we’re lucky enough.
Life is going to be really different for me in ways I can predict and some I simply can’t, and I’m just as anxious about the future as anyone else with half a brain cell, but I’m hopeful too. I so hope there are good things ahead for my boys, for me, for you.
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I got directed to my old (old!) blogspot account, clicked on one of your posts, and realized it was current!
Although I see you on Instagram, I still enjoy your stories.
I enjoy your perspective on the teen years and launching kids. The first high school job is memorable (local burger & ice cream place for me where the teen workers did whip its in the back. lol) and teaches some real world skills, like talking to your manager! My kid freaked out when she forgot to call off work on a day she had a ballet performance. It allll worked out in the end.
I love your perspective – always – and can do relate to the change is evolving and ongoing. Keep on keeping on. And being so great. I so enjoy your blog.