Dec
20
What if at almost 36 years of age you are finally starting to get a vague idea of what you might want to be when you grow up, and a conversation with a friend gets you thinking about what it might take to change paths altogether? What if the things you might want to learn and do involve giant vats of both money and time, neither of which you have to spare? What if it would take a massive, terrifying effort simply to fulfill the prerequisites for an exercise/wellness degree, never mind the curriculum itself, which involves, like, science? What if it seemed absolutely one hundred percent impossible, that you’d never be able to afford it or somehow shoehorn it into a life that is already packed to capacity with family and work and everything else?
What would you do?
Hmm, well I’m “going for it” right now-I’m a lawyer and rounding out on practicing for 5 years (I’m 30). I decided to up and go to business school to go work in finance. In 5 years they’ve managed to make a bloody masters more expensive than my law degree. Like 150K-200K worth of expensive, so I hear what you’re saying about buckets of money.
I’m sure there are people that think I’m nuts-I have a 40 hour work week and fairly high paid law job that’s non-layoffable-I guess I’ve hit gold if gold is defined as not being invested in your job but having it pay well. Wait, I don’t think. I know. Because one person leaves me repeated comments on my blog about how I’m making a mistake. I don’t really spend much time dwelling on it-I know this is the right choice for me because I can’t spend the next 40 years being bored out of my gourd.
Do it. And then give us locals the number for your gym so we can hire you as our own trainer and help you pay off the expensive education!
My husband is 58 and starting grad school to be a social worker. Life is too short to spend 5 or 10 years not doing something you love, once you figure it out.
Do it! It will be hard, but you can totally do it. You have to love what you do every day. Not just your career, but what you actually, physically do. Any amount of effort is worth it to have the life you want to have.
What would I do?
DO IT!!
DO IT. This is your passion. If you follow your passion, then you are doing what you are meant to be doing and then all else will fall into place. I think this would be a fabulous endeavor for you and I can only imagine how good you will feel on the day you graduate. Go for it! The sky is your limit, my dear.
I’d go back to bed. (Partially joshin’. Partially.)
I agree with the “do you need to go to college to do it” comments, make sure that you need to do that or see if you can do it with an certificate program instead. I am pretty sure you can, then you can supplement with another degree on a slower track if that is what you want to do. You are an inspirational person, I think you are 75% there. You could also then do it part time and build a client base.
so, the giant plasma billboard on the way to work had an inspirational quote (thank you car salesmen ads), “its never too late to be where you might have been” & its had me thinking too. so I say, do it.
Don’t use the age excuse. You recently posted that your commute and job were taking away precious time with your boys, and that’s a red flag to pay attention to. Even if you have to part-time or night school it for a while, it will be worth it in the end. You’ll be able to be the mother you want to be when you are happy with your career and your life.
Do it but wait until your kids are a little older, like in school full time. It will go a lot easier on either side.
Do it.
It probably won’t be fun when you’re making it happen, but then the rest of your life will be awesome. I’m not satisfied by what I do everyday, but cannot figure out what would be better. If I could, I’d go for it.
My stepmom went from a career as a Biochemist to starting over completely and becoming a financial planner at the age of 45. And she was really invested in career number 1…she has a phd in chemistry. Point is despite some lean years when she was getting the business going and getting certified, she is MUCH happier now. Good luck!
DO IT!!! I did the same thing, but minus a few years…I quit school but finally got the courage to go back…graduated just before turning 27…oldest person in some of my classes (in Kinesiology, that can make a difference…young whipper-snappers). I have a BS in Kinesiology/Health to show for it :)
I think it’s neat that you’re considering it. Because…what have you got to lose?
I’d just like to encourage you by saying it may be easier than you think. If you’re interested in being a trainer, you could start with just the trainer certification. There are many, MANY trainers out there who have “converted” from some other profession. At my workplace, we offer various 1-week certifications that are (relatively) inexpensive.
Later, you could pursue a bachelors or masters in the field, if you want.
Either way, rock on, man. You can do it.
You are young! I have a colleague who changed course after spending 18 years as a very successful attorney at the age of 52!
I have one of “those” degrees, mine is called Health and Fitness Management (health/kinesiology/exercise Phys all the same thing)… umm stick to what you are doin
AND invest in taking the ACSM courses or some kind of course work that is expensive but you get a certified at the end of it to be a fitness trainer or whatever it is you want to do in this field. It is a better way to spend your money and time!
You would need the degree to do something scientific like the study of the human movement for which you would then want to publish the findings, etc… then you need the degree. Otherwise DO NOT DO IT. I am probably the only person saying this. Sorry to be negative…
I think you have an uncanny knack for conquering your fears. I think you’re strong enough to find the time/money/will. I think you’ve already decided to do it.
Thing is, if I were in your area, I would love to have you as a trainer. You’ve been where most people are with the fear of getting better with health. You are in a unique position to help people through that fear.
Also, I think that the word fail isn’t in your vocabulary. Go for it. Those whom you would help would be lucky to have you.
go, go, go.
“years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did do.” mark twain
YOU GOTTA DO IT.
We’re all here for you! With emotional if not financial and time management support. :)
Oh, and as a former boss of mine once said, “Do what you want to do, because someday you’re gonna die.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to respond to this in a way that doesn’t sound jerky. I hope I succeed.
I don’t want to pile negativity on top of what I think is basically really good advice, (which if I could summarize: life is short, might has well make the hard choices to get what you want vs making the easy choice to …not), BUT:
Here’s the thing with fitness and athletics as a career: it’s not always the solution to what people are looking for. There are ways to have a lifestyle that prioritizes fitness and healthy living that are more fulfilling than making $10/hour being a trainer at a gym. I’ve seen a good handful of people follow the trajectory of “become active/become MORE active/prioritize lifestyle around activity/ build desire to make this full time type work” and go on to leave their long term careers to focus on fitness coaching/mentoring/training/what have you, and … there is a lot of disappointment, there. Which is not to say that a) leaving their full time career was a bad thing to do, because in most cases they needed a change anyway, and b) it can’t be fulfilling, but more often than not it seems like a more realistic and ultimately fulfilling way to go about this is be harshly realistic about the financial opportunities in this field and the financial necessities of your life.
If it were me — and I know it’s not, so like, take this for what it is worth – I would start exploring this idea in baby steps. Volunteer to coach for a Team in Training event (or better yet, running stores frequently have training plans for local races – could you serve as a mentor/trainer for them?). If there is a sport or activity you really like, see if there are weekend workshops you can take to get more advanced knowledge, with the end goal of being somewhat knowledgeable to teach it part time (I’m thinking of my friend who is a fulltime PR exec, but teaches spin class on the weekends, or my coworker who teaches yoga after work).
I was able to volunteer for my local triathlon club and as such got to spend time mentoring and helping newbies to the sport – something I found amazingly fulfilling and was so happy I could do it. I did this for free, but along the way was exposed to people and ways I could have branched out into part time paid work (marketing for local races, volunteer coordination for training camps, etc). And, frankly, it doesn’t need to be full -full time, because the majority of the people you will be working with will be working during the day, also. Your services would really only be needed in off work hours.
Going back to school is not always the answer. You don’t have to spend a ton of money to get what you want in this industry. Just immerse yourself as much as you can in the areas you want, and the opportunities will start to make themselves available to you. After doing this for a few years, I’d bet you’ll be able to find a way to transition it to a more full time thing… if, in fact, you still want to.
think about all the things filling your life to capacity now that make you go – meh.
think about replacing those with the new exciting things.
do it.
I love how everyone is being so supportive and encouraging. I agree that it’s worth pursuing (even if it takes a long time, even if it’s scary, even if it will involve sacrifices). But, in my job (that I should be doing right now) I work with college students, some non-traditional, that are trying to cram degrees into their busy lives, and I know how tough it is for them. If I could give you some advice, it would be to do a lot of research. I’m sure you’re already thinking about this, but: could you volunteer or get a part-time job or internship in the field you want to work in, so you could check it out? If not, could you do a few job shadows or informational interviews? Could you get started with classes at a community college? (In addition to being cheaper and probably smaller, they might be offered at times that are more flexible for a working parent). Good luck!
I think you should figure out what will truly make you happy, what you will be proud to do every day, and just do it. Whatever you decide, you are an inspiration to many, many people around the world, me included!
I spent the first 3 years of college switching majors as often as I changed lipstick colors. One of the criteria for choosing XYZ major was that it didn’t require any science (or if it did – one of the wimpier science classes). After dodging the inevitable, I finally decided to switch my major, once & for all, to what I had been interested in since high school – Nutrition. I took Organic Chem (turned out to be a pretty cool class & not that difficult), Microbiology (one of my fave classes of all time), a couple of Anatomy & Phys classes, Biochemistry (for pre-med students – haaaard, but I survived), among other chem, biology & science-heavy nutrition classes. And guess what? I loved it! It was interesting, sometimes challenging, very fulfulling.
Cheesy, but true: FOLLOW YOUR HEART, things have a way of working themselves out!
Do it! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Girl, you ran a 5k. If I recall correctly, back when you were doing first posts about exercise and health, you probably couldn’t imagine doing a 5k, right?
Do it. And talk about it. Help will come out of the woodwork. It always does when you’re pursuing what you love. You’ll be surprised– but you can’t see it ahead of time. You have to just step out into the unknown. It’s only after you start that the help will begin to materialize, in ways you can’t even imagine…
Go for it. If you don’t, you’ll always wonder what if. Which is why I’m now making & selling jewelry instead of working at Microsoft. :)
No regrets.
I did it when I was 29. I went back to college after the two kids. The youngest was in kindergarten, and I had to bust out. I did. And now? I work full-time doing something I enjoy. Most of the time. :)
It’s tricky, isn’t it? The culture is all “FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO!!!” but the culture is not taking on the mortgage payments, babysitting the kids, or paying for school.
I think I’d counsel waiting—not like “forever” or “a million years” but, like a year or two. There is a feeling, I think, that a person has to chase the dream IMMEDIATELY UPON DREAMING IT or else they should imagine themselves EIGHTY YEARS OLD AND NEVER DOING IT, but of course there is an in between. This time of life with a toddler, a preschooler, and a husband with a start-up company is probably your LEAST stable moment to leap into a recent dream. Giving it a year or two (or four, when both boys will be in school all day) puts you (probably) in a more stable place, and also makes sure it’s what you WANT before you invest so much time, money, energy, and risk. A year ago the dream was novel-writing; maybe that dream will be the one, or maybe this new dream will be the one, or maybe both will be replaced by another new dream.
I started reading all these positive responses, and while I agree with them in many ways, I also want to say: fools jump in where angels fear to tread.
The fitness industry is big and LOTS of people want to get into it. What, exactly, are you thinking you want to do, and is this going to be a part-time “hobby” sort of thing, or an actual way to support yourself and your family? Do you want to be a personal trainer? A physical therapist? A gym manager? because these things are very different and my answer would change depending on your goals.
I have taken risks — assumed massive debt load for my undergrad and grad degrees, returned to school in my mid-thirties, and I guess I am happy I took the challenges, but I cannot say that I am SURE these were the right choices or that I would make them again. I am here now, however, so I think to a certain extent this unequivocal support people offer comes from their own need to justify their own sacrifices. I need to believe that it was better not to spend my life wondering “what if” and follow my dreams. Perhaps, though, I actually would be better off having some retirement savings. (The lack of which leaves me in a cold sweat at night & prevents me from being able to sleep. Such is the price for going to school instead of working: no job means no savings). Is the comfort of knowing I will not end up homeless and on the streets at age 55 be better than the risk of dreamily wondering “what if” at the same age? In the cold middle of the night, my answer is YES. A roof over my head is worth the sacrifice of not following my dreams. But too late: I’ve chosen the dream. I just hope I have a roof over my head in 20 years.
My advice: carefully research exactly what you need to get what it is you want (certification to be a PT? A degree in physical therapy?) as well as the job market, if actually earning a living afterwards makes a difference to you. I have been told that a physical therapy grad program is harder to get into than medical school (and I have known many very smart people not get into med school), because there are fewer physical therapy programs than there are med schools & lots of people want to go into physical therapy . . . perhaps this has changed, however, since last I looked into it.
I also have considered doing personal training, but I know that I am not extroverted enough to be able to approach people, cold, and solicit them for business. I have been told that this is what you need to do to be truly successful (i.e., make a living) at it. This might not be true, but I know that at my previous gym, the trainers were always going up to customers & trying to get them to sign up for training sessions. I know I would be miserable in a job that required me to do that. Personal training involves a LOT of sales: selling yourself and your services. Would you want to do this on a daily basis as part of the job?
Finally, and I truly hate to say this given that I am part of this demographic, but how many middle-aged female trainers do you see out there? At all the gyms I’ve belonged to, nearly all the trainers are young, buff men in their 20s; then they are mostly young women in their 20s. I have known a single “older” woman in the field — she was probably in her late 40s, but very fit. Is this coincidence? A reflection of the market?
Who is your largest customer base, as a trainer? Women, probably, and who do they want touching their muscles & telling them they are “looking good”? A young muscular guy, or another woman their own age?
I have a friend who is a an excellent hair stylist, and she told me once that men, even gay men, are ALWAYS more successful in the industry than women are, because women want to be complimented and made to feel beautiful by a man, gay or not. Top stylists are therefore always men — they make the most money and get the most business. I have often wondered if this is true in the personal training business, too — it might be something to research.
I don’t want to be negative and discouraging, and you have demonstrated an admirable and impressive talent for perseverance, will-power, and determination to make positive changes in your life and in seeing your goals through. I have no doubt that you could make a big change, whatever it is, and enjoy success. But I feel like it’s important that you hear some words of caution — people often hesitate to counsel against “going for your dreams” or being cautious in making massive changes lest these voices of caution be labelled cynical, pessimistic, and unsupportive. But taking risks to follow dreams is not all about sunshine and self-actualization, and everything comes at a price. What price can you afford to pay?
I always think of those poor deluded “singers” who try out for American Idol; not making it to Hollywood, of course, because they are simply terrible singers who have no business thinking otherwise. Nearly all of them leave the failed audition and tell the camera that they WILL be singers, and they WILL keep trying, and so on and so forth. Where is the voice of reason in their lives? Where is the person who will slap some sense into them and tell them to give up; they will never be professional singers because they CANNOT SING?
I guess I just want to offer the side of the argument that says: be careful. Move forward with your eyes wide open. Dreams are important to have, but not all are realistic (American Idol auditioners, I’m looking at you) or realizable.
i once had the privilege of hearing Dr. Eugenie Clark speak, years ago, when i was in high school. a student asked about the time involved to get a phd and she answered honestly (a few more years than the student wanted to hear). Dr. Clark said “Look, the time is going to pass by regardless, right?”
words to live by. do it.
When fabulously scary stuff presents itself, sometimes it becomes harder NOT to pursue them, and this may be one of those things for you. The voice in your head saying “What about money/kids/blah-blahblah” can shut it. You’ll be fine.
And honey, you’ve already kicked the ass of stuff much harder than going back to school. Newborns, for one, toddlers, addiction and getting your health on track. This is so much easier–as a matter of fact, it’ll be totally fascinating and cool. Think of it this way: You’ve learned a ton about health and fitness and you have a passion–and a gift–for this. Learning more and sharing it would be such a valuable contribution to the world. Not everyone is in a position to positively leave a mark and influence others like this. If you feel that this is your calling, it would be a shame if you didn’t share that awesome mojo with a world of people who could benefit. And you’ll benefit, too, I’m sure–how fulfilling.
I would remember that I am an ass-kicker who not only conquered a triathlon, but a world-famous zombie dance after running a race. I would remember that I am not only a phenomenal blogger who’s been doing this for over a decade now? but who is also a fantastic wife, and mother of two brilliant-smiled boys, and who despite writing for what must be 27 different blogs, still manages not to ever get boring.
I would remember that every time I seem to wallow in self-doubt, that I talk myself out of it and remind myself that I CAN DO ANYTHING I SAY I CAN.
And you can, Sundry : ) So do what makes you happy. You DO deserve it!
I’d do it. I did do it! It was worth every penny, every minute of lost sleep, every workload related meltdown, every inch of busywork. It was even worth the time away from my kids, because ultimately I’m a better mother now that I feel good about and satisfied with my profession. Go!
You’re never too old and it will always be frightening to make the changes you are talking about – but you can do it. Many have before you. I did I went back to college in my 40’s – I wall alone – no parents recently divorced and heart broken. No savings, really nothing. I did have a job and a home – all I which I changed to go back to school. Sold my home moved into the cheapest apt I could find and worked part time and some times full time depending on my schedule. I spent 10 years in college at the end – I became a Registered Nurse and then got a Masters Degree in Social Work. One of the women I graduated with (Master Degree) was 78 years old and she gave us a speech at graduation. She said you’re never too old to achieve your dreams. After graduation this 78 year old grandmother went to Africa to keep with the Aids epidemic over there. Go for your dreams. I did because I saw my dad die and I could feel his regrets when he died. The pain of sacrifice is short lived – regret last a life time. Go for you dreams whatever they maybe and whatever the sacrifice. You will find a way – I did and many others before you did also. Also remember if you fail at a subject – give it another try – you don’t have to graduate at the top of your class – just graduate.
I went back to school at 31 – law school. I packed up my husband, all of our stuff to move halfway across the country so I could do this. It has taken vast amounts of time and energy, both seeming even most vast after the birth of our daughter last year.
But I’ll graduate in May. And even though the job market doesn’t look as rosy as when I started school, and I have, at times, been so tired my teeth hurt, it was worth it. I have a sense of accomplishment, I have faith my professional life will move in the direction I want it to, and most importantly – I have no regrets
Unhelpful and douchey book-nerd comment:
Paul Bowles wrote “The Sheltering Sky,” not Gloria Cubana.
Encouraging and non-douchey comment:
DO IT. Life’s too short not to.
I am a long time lurker. And I think you should definitely do this. I have been so inspired by what you have accomplished and sometimes it’s thinking about you that gets my ass into my running gear at some ridiculous hour.
Anyway, I’m 38, and have a long history in marketing. At 35, I decided to go back to school to become a therapist. I just graduated and while I still have a few steps further to go down the road, I can’t believe how quickly the school part flew by. And to make it not so hard financially, I was able to do freelance copywriting on the side. There were some moments when I thought I just couldn’t possibly finish, but I did. And I never have to attend another sales meeting, or try and stab my eyeballs out at another tradeshow. Wheee!
I know I’m late to the game but I just wanted to add this: My mom worked as a radio journalist for years and years. When I was still pretty little, she was laid off and her station folded. Instead of wallowing, she made a pretty gutsy choice. She went back to school to get her master’s in education. It meant my Dad had to take on solo dinner-making and parenting roles on some nights, it meant that yeah, I stuck my little 5-year-old-nose against the window above our driveway waiting and waiting for her to come home on nights she had class. I remember that distinctly. But now? It’s only been in the past couple years (I’m 22) that I’ve been able to fully understand her sacrifice. She went back to school in an entirely new field, was a very successful student, and has now been teaching for about 11 years–and is an ass-kicking name-taking teacher at that. (She runs the “Outdoor Nature Club” at her school now too. Man I adore that woman.) She walked away from one career path and smack dab in the path towards another. She took all kinds of risks but guess what? She did it. I’m more proud of and grateful for it all every year, I’m amazed at the size of both, amazed at her.
Remember that post you wrote, what you’d learned about fitness? Let me put it to you in your own language:
“There’s no reason why you shouldn’t start now. If you need to start over, that’s okay: start again now.”
You’ve SO got this.
So about three years ago I was on a walk with my husband when I made some comment about how if I could do it all over again I would have chosen a certain career path. And my husband looked at me, a little incredulously, and said “You’re not dead yet. You can still do it” and for some reason it took that to make me think that hey, I really could. I think about that moment a lot when I get overwhelmed by the thought of all that is left for me to do just to get my foot in the door.
I think this is great! When you have a passion for something there is always an enormous amount of potential. I hope we get a chance to meet in the New Year.. and would love to hear/share some ideas. Love the twitter stream BTW :)
I would say, life isn’t a dress rehersal. I’d also say that there is some random stat out there that people change careers several times before they turn 40. I’d also say that now is the time to do it, because while your life may seem “full” now with small children, it’s a whole different world once they enter school and there is homework and activities. I’d say that there are only three things that matter in life, good health, someone to love and something you love to do…so go for it. Take the leap. Just do it (there’s a reason that tag line became so famous!!). Merry Christmas and thank you for allowing me into your world and making me laugh so hard, so often!
I didn’t go back to school after having career, but did switch to nutrition/wellness degree in what was supposed to be my senior year in college add that to a long winded graduate school adventure, a required internship and sitting for a test… 9 years later I couldn’t be happier in the field that I really love vs just getting the degree to say I graduated from college as many had urged me to do. Go for it, what’s the worst that could happen?
I’m new to reading here (a result of the swistle kerfuffle) & though this post is a few days old, I wanted to respond.
1. going back to school is a great plan! you won’t be the oldest. no way. The oldest guy in our program had retired from his career that he took up after he retired the first time. So, 70’s? No, he wasn’t taking the program for fun, he intended to go back out to work some more.
2. yes, you do care more now, that matters. That you actually care about the degree matters. That the instructors are your age peers matters. Even if they are twice your age: you are all grown ups & parents & peers compared to the student aged students. Which makes it so much easier to approach them, converse with them, argue with them even.
3. the one bad thing. I speak from experience here. Getting an education that allowed me to turn my hobby into my work DID make work more pleasant. but it made my hobby a lot less enjoyable. work was no longer a chore, doing the same work at home was no longer relaxing. now, in your case, if working out as work means you don’t have to work out for it’s own sake too, great. but I went to culinary school.
4. boy, I did not want that to sound so negative! do the school thing, do the career change thing. but pay attention to the JOB thing. currently, I’m taking a while out to take care of this lovely small boy I’ve acquired & retooling my work plans so I can do food related work which isn’t actually kitchen work. that I have the credentials to consider this is the point in the long run.
Umm, I’d f’n go for it.
Or at least, that’s what I’m trying to do, as I near my own 36th birthday, with the notion of going into filmmaking.
Then again, I may have more of some of the resources required than you seem to be describing, but… it still won’t be easy.
It’s gonna be f’n hard, but I’m gonna try to just do it.
We’ll see if I fail pitifully. ;-)
While I like the fast modal idea ( together with look ) too , I do think it jumps just a little far over and above the typical put up generation flow . That’s possibly not a bad thing but I don’t think a needs to be added between clicking to contribute a whole new post and when the edit post display screen in fact is found .
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