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Riley woke up on Monday morning crying piteously and when I went to touch his forehead I had to stop myself from collapsing to the ground howling “WHY, GOD, WHY?” because seriously, we just got over a round of feverish viral gunk two weeks ago, and the prospect of dropping right back into it was almost too much to bear.

The uncaring gods of bad timing don’t give a flying shit about anyone’s personal preferences, of course, so we wearily set up shop—installing Riley on the couch, creating an assembly line from our collection of half-full bottles of Motrin and Tylenol, putting up a cot in our bedroom for wee-hour ministrations, and hauling out the Barf Receptacle of Doom (aka the blue stockpot I guess I’ll probably never be cooking in again)—before getting down to the festive business of deciding who would stay home from work. The exact same routine we went through two weeks ago, down to the endless background blat of Curious George.

It turns out he has strep, for which his pediatrician prescribed the ubiquitous amoxicillin regimen. He woke up this morning fever-free and pretty much back to normal, so I’m feeling very ambivalent on whether or not to start the antibiotics. The amoxicillin won’t get rid of the strep, it’s used mainly to reduce time of contagion and prevent rare complications. Meanwhile, in my experience it totally wrecks their little gastrointestinal systems, starting about 24 hours into that endless prescription. I hate giving my kid something twice a day for TEN DAYS that’s going to give them the screaming fire shits, you know?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on antibiotics. Do you use them every time they’re prescribed? If you do use them, do you find that probiotics or something similar help with the collateral damage?

I have questions. Hopefully, you have answers. Let’s go.

1) I was a big fan of Bare Minerals makeup for years, until recently when I noticed the powder had started . . . settling, sort of, into my newly-acquired wrinkly areas. Plus, it was making me very shiny, and not in the Firefly use of the word. I switched to Laura Mercier’s “oil free flawless face kit”, and I’m sorry to report the results were neither oil free nor flawless. Worse, the rosacea that I haven’t seen since I stopped drinking over five years ago is creeping back, which, what the fuck? So I need a good makeup recommendation for 30-something, oily, rosacea-prone skin, please. Bonus if it doesn’t cost a trillion dollars.

2) I loved The Hunger Games/Catching Fire and I liked The Forest of Hands and Teeth, so what else should I be reading in the world of dystopian YA fiction?

3) This week I have to give a presentation as part of my final nutrition class project. Here are some things I’d rather do than give a presentation: hammer a rusty nail through my foot. Kiss Spencer Pratt on the mouth. Listen to forty straight hours of Bob Dylan. EAT A LIVE SPIDER. Do you have any public speaking tips that will prevent uncontrolled terrified urination on my part? Like picturing your audience naked, except, you know, something that actually works?

4) Have any of you ever dealt with a kid who won’t accept help when he hurts himself? When Riley scrapes his knee or whatever, he often loses his shit and howls “NOOOO!” over and over, refusing to let us even approach him. It’s like he just goes into a panic. It’s one thing when that happens at home, but if it happens while we’re out—like if he crashes and burns in a store while doing his patented Look Back Over One Shoulder While Running Full Speed Ahead maneuver—I feel at a total loss with no idea how to calm him down or at least bring the Dramatic Public Scene to a close. Usually we just end up totally frustrated with him, which seems like the worst case scenario for everyone. Any ideas for how to help him get past this stage?

5) This last one isn’t really a question, I just wanted to show you the kids’ school photos, which finally came back. Man, pleasantly surprised doesn’t even cover it. I could look at these all day long, cheesy fake fence and all.

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