I moved from my workplace. They were so nice to keep me on and let me work remotely. But I found that when I was not on site I was forgotten. Any teamwork or collaboration that I had in the office was gone. I HATED the isolating situation and quit, with no real back up job, in August. Now I work part time at a school and see real people. Its awesome except for the pay.

You are right – things do happen for a reason, even if it’s not immediately apparent. You’ll be fine!

im sitting in an airport right now, on my way to a city ive never even visited, for a job interview to start a new portion of my career. this was just what i needed to hear. thank you.

Here – I’m telling you. You are the best writer over at The Stir and the only reason I ever visit that site.

This blog really connected to me. I even posted a link on my facebook page so maybe you’ll get more visitors. I too… hated my workplace. I wasn’t lonely because I’m deaf and I work at a deaf company with many employees but I had family obligations that my sociopath boss didn’t really care about. In fact he looked down on me and put me on the ‘mass layoffs’ list because I came in at 8 and left at 5 on the nose to pick up my son from daycare. I was pumping at the time and I lost milk because of workplace.

Eventually, I got laid off – didn’t work for couple years and by luck, I got a conference planning contract with a nonprofit. WOW. They treats me SO much better. They are a company with disabilities but all can hear. Which is odd because a company with the same disability (deafness) should treat each-other better. But anyways. I’ve worked temp at old workplace for few weeks or few months from time to time and I always leave thinking that I will NEVER work for them but loneliness always beats me. I do crave adult interaction.

Soooo yeah, I see a lot of similarities and It makes me appreciate my freelance job so much more.

Man, yeah. I moved jobs within my company — from a dysfunction yet very collaborative in-office only role to a much more relaxed, self driven (“self-driven”) role that is virtual with my coworkers scattered. The role is more *interesting* to me, but …. wow do I miss working with people. I love not having the daily grind, GOD do I not miss that AT ALL, but… i miss people. I’m better with people. And I needed to know that so I can better design the next thing.

I’m so jealous that you got to stay (I was one of the many many freelancers they cut), for all the reasons you mentioned. I’d worked for another parenting blog and got no feedback whatsoever beyond the numbers; the frequent interaction with smart editors made me a better web writer, no question.

I just wanted to say that the whole no adult interaction thing hits me every now and again, too.
A friend asked if I could help with her volunteer gig (spay/neuter clinic for trap and released feral cats – I just watch and monitor them post surgery, etc). My wonderful husband takes off once a month so I can go do this and it renews my spirit. We save lives. Yes, I know they are *just* feral cats but it is so . . important and gives me a sense of contributing to the greater good. That feeling is not always there wiping bums and washing dishes as a SAHM.
Your post reminded me once again that the layoff I went through a few years back was a detour of my path but, looking back, not at all the tragedy everyone makes layoffs to be.

PS: Your writing rocks. I miss your survivor reviews and wish you would review more shows.

I felt the same loneliness in grad school when I would spend days in a library alone with my books and never interacting with anyone. So so lonely. I never really thought about that experience preparing me for other things, the way yours did. But you are kind of right. I think I’ve at least gained a little bit more balance with the group work/ independent work type thing. But, man, was it hard.

This resonates with me today. My Workplace team is kind of in the same place with a new Overlord and it isn’t going well. And we have daycare/special needs kiddo issues on top of it. So a lot to consider. I’ve been debating an attempt to work from home or reduce my hours somehow, but haven’t worked out a magical formula yet. Your post gives me perspective on what it would be like with lack of people. I’m a raging introvert so it might turn me into more of a recluse, but I like to think that maybe it would give me a kick in the butt to be more social with neighbors and friends on evenings and weekends. Here’s hoping.
And don’t stop writing ever, Linda. You have a true gift.

My husband is an engineer for a local government. He’s a social guy (social AND an engineer; oxymoron?), but his department does not communicate with each other at ALL. No staff meetings. He speaks to his boss once a month, his co-workers less, and he’s miserable. He knows it, but I don’t think he understands the depths of how miserable he is. I might send him your blog post to remind him that usually making a change ends in something more fulfilling…

I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your writing. Here and at The Stir. I follow your Stir posts on FB and honestly that’s the only reason I go over there. I suppose I should look at what else they have to offer. But your writing is the best.

As for “things happen for a reason”, that keeps coming up and slapping me in the face too. May be something to it.

I’ve been freelancing for a couple of years and working remotely for nearly six… And I connect so deeply with what you said. The best it gets is being part of a team, which is not always possible. It helps to work with people who are accustomed to working with freelancers, and who consider them team members rather than random “purchases” or “article machines.” And it helps to get out and interact with those people, so they don’t forget that you’re a human and not just a voice inside the computer.

But oh – even if there are still office politics and personality clashes, it is so much better to handle them (in my opinion, although I wouldn’t know the difference) from behind the shield of your computer screen.

Thanks for writing this Linda. It’s as though you stepped inside my mind and sorted out all that I went through with my last job. Working in a group with no strong leadership from above, and the hit or miss atmosphere of how things are done. Really tried to work things out, but in the end I knew I couldn’t go on. Didn’t want my attitude to get like some of my coworkers, then have my work suffer. I loved and respected it so much. Like you I just want to get my work done minus the bs. Well, I hear workplace is sinking now. Incredibly sad, it could have been so much more and helped a lot of people.

Hey, I’m a software engineer and I am basically an adult! :)

You know, I think most of us have to experiment. Sometimes what is not working about a job isn’t the work but the environment or just a small piece. I did a career change last year that didn’t work out as well I had hoped. And I have taken a lot of crap about it but I learned so much about what sorts of things will make me happy going forward that I consider it a year well spent.

Concerning your yearning to be with people – I feel the same way. Am considering a very un-me solution of reaching out to a new group of like-minded people.
Maybe you could do a few volunteer hours per week at your local library? Help with writing questions or computer issues? That’d get you into a library, interacting with people, and you’d have a great source of new material to write about! :)

How do you managed to do it???

Always the right post at the right time.

I just gave my notice yesterday at my job with absolutely zero lined up to replace it. I have some grandiose ideas about how to pay for things should I not be able to find work but other than that, nothin’. What lead to me deciding to leave was a very nasty, horrible set of circumstances that left me a wimpery puddle of tears on Friday and a supercharged badass by Monday. But you are so right, it really defined for me, what I don’t want and exactly what I DO want. And you are so right, if you appreciate someone TELL THEM. Just like you, now that I am leaving I have supportive co-workers coming out of apparent hiding who’s cameraderie I seriously could’ve used months ago.

I am really glad you found something you like better and that’s it’s helped you to fine tune your vision of your perfect life. And I am SO right there with you. I’ve always hated it when people say things happen for a reason, but speaking for myself I feel tempted to say it too, so I know how you feel. Congratulations and I can’t wait to hear what is out there for you.

I Love Love Love your blog. I’m a writer, worked for a huge agency in PR for seven years putting a great face on a deplorable situation (my manager used to call our customers morons) I ended up with a new Director who defeated me at every turn until I finally addressed her as Master Bully. I was laid off one month later. I work from home, dedicate part of my time as a Volunteer Coordinator for a local rescue and raise my kids. Whenever you get lost in the isolation of working from home, call a meeting and remember the assholes who never respected your efforts. Everyone will come, you will get your fix and then go back to what you do best!!!

Don’t underestimate yourself: this didn’t just “happen,” you went after it and wrestled it to the ground. That’s pretty fucking awesome.

Thinking like that is really imipvssree

Thanks alot – your answer solved all my problems after several days struggling

Nothing I could say would give you undue credit for this story.

I might be beating a dead horse, but thank you for posting this!

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Hey, subtle must be your middle name. Great post!

Life is short, and this article saved valuable time on this Earth.

Haha. I woke up down today. You’ve cheered me up!

That’s way more clever than I was expecting. Thanks!

It’s like you’re on a mission to save me time and money!

Me dull. You smart. That’s just what I needed.

What’s it take to become a sublime expounder of prose like yourself?

Good job making it appear easy.

That insight’s just what I’ve been looking for. Thanks!

Well put, sir, well put. I’ll certainly make note of that.

If only there were more clever people like you!

Hahahaha. I’m not too bright today. Great post!

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Felt so hopeless looking for answers to my questions…until now.

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Now I know who the brainy one is, I’ll keep looking for your posts.

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A pleasingly rational answer. Good to hear from you.

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