In the last few days, I’ve been noticing some new additions to our backyard. Like this guy:

squirrel1

And this one:

squirrel2

And these fellows:

squirrel4

Like, every single time I look outside there’s a mess of motherfucking squirrels nearby. It’s almost a little creepy.

squirrel5

Also, is that a—?

duck1

Yes. Yes it is.

duck

I’m not sure if it’s because there’s no dog in the backyard now or if we accidentally bought the No Mess Wild Birdfeed Seeds: Black Tar Heroin Variety, but at least the kids are entertained. Although having your children constantly talk like the dog from Up gets a little old after a while.

squirrel3

“Hey Mom do you SQUIRREL! know where my green army SQUIRREL! guy is because SQUIRREL! I can’t find him.”

I bought a fancy squirrel-proof feeder and I put out a special Sweet Corn Squirrel Log (“The compressed sweet corn log keeps the squirrels busy and away from your bird feeders!”) but they’re still there. Everywhere.

Where did they come from? Why have they suddenly set up camp in our backyard? Who knew ducks could be so LURKY? Where did this particular squirrel get a goddamned Eggo?

squirrel6

No answers. Only questions.

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Janet
Janet
11 years ago

Maybe that’s the AFLAC duck lurking on your roof? Too funny…makes me think of that ad with the suspicious groundhog…duh duh duuuh! (dramatic music)

C @ Kid Things
11 years ago

That last squirrel looks like he’s ready to attack if anyone dare try to take his damn Eggo, too.

Jen
Jen
11 years ago

This has completely made my night.

Valria
11 years ago

LOL….
He even has the leggo my eggo face.

Trina
Trina
11 years ago

I am crying I am laughing so hard. That was awesome and toatally made my night.

heather
heather
11 years ago

oh man. i just laughed out loud. amazing.

Donna
Donna
11 years ago

I got nothin.
But thank you. Thank you so much. I love squirrels, but I love ducks more. There’s nothing cuter in the world than a baby duck. I’d be feeding the hell out of all of them only it looks like Waffle house is already open!

Kristin
Kristin
11 years ago

So funny! I don’t know how a duck could be LURKY. Isn’t it supposed to be turkeys?
Love the “Black Tar Heroin Variety!”

Oregoncoastgirl
Oregoncoastgirl
11 years ago

Love.

warcrygirl
11 years ago

I fucking HATE squirrels. I saw two wild hares in my side yard just this morning; set out two baby carrots for them if they come back before the effing squirrels get to them. If you start seeing other creatures come by twos and it starts to rain head for the hills! lol

Ang
Ang
11 years ago

Hah!! If you feed them they will come back for more! But if you really want the squirrels to evacuate, buy the giant cayenne pepper container at Sam’s club and sprinkle it around, sets their little tongues on fire. No clue about ducks though – maybe he wants to watch some tv? A little Phinneas & Ferb?

mlegreenberg
mlegreenberg
11 years ago

WTF? That squirrel is having a better breakfast than I get most mornings! If I wanted a waffle I would have to make it myself and these little ‘rats-but-in-a-cuter-outfit’ get it served up to them??? Ugh! Okay, yeah, I am jealous of a squirrel now. Fantastic.
LOVE your blog! Thanks for making me laugh!

erica
erica
11 years ago

Fantastic pictures! And very funny commentary. Thanks for the chuckle this cold, drizzy morning!

Tia
Tia
11 years ago

Awesome pics! Pretty sure it might have something to do with Dog being gone. I can’t wait to show my kid the Eggo picture. It will blow his mind!

Becky
Becky
11 years ago

Does the squirrel know that an Eggo isn’t an appropriate snack? That he is just contributing to the obesity problem in the squirrel community?????

Sorry had to do it ;)

Brigid
11 years ago

Love the first squirrel photo! We have a crap-ton of squirrels in our neighborhood. They sit right outside our kitchen window and slowly munch on whatever food they have found while my cats lose their ever living minds right on the other side of the window.

crystal d
11 years ago

Eggo? I just spit my coffee. WTF

Laura
11 years ago

What are you doing feeding waffles to a squirrel? Waffles are NOT a snack. Way to contribute to the squirrelhood obesity epidemic.

Kirsten
Kirsten
11 years ago

LOL!! Leggo my eggo!

Aunt Linda
11 years ago

I bought one of those squirrel logs once. The next morning it was gone. I did not want to see whatever was big enough to haul it away in the dark … in the night …

Amy M.
Amy M.
11 years ago

One of my friends bought a squirrel bungee – attach corn to a bungee cord, essentially. He was really entertained by watching the rodent pounce, then boing. The kids might like that… :)

You are a fantastic photographer, too! Perfectly captured the squirrelly habits of your subjects. And the lurking.

Christina
11 years ago

I SNORTED at the darker picture of the duck. Also, my husband would have an effing coronary if he saw that in our yard. I say it is because the dog is gone and the critters KNOW it which is freaky weird. So along with the sunflowers, your dog was keeping the wildlife at bay too?!

K
K
11 years ago

The squirrels in our neighborhood are as big as cats, and I secretly fear they want to jump on me and eat my face.

Erika
Erika
11 years ago

I think it is because they know they can get waffles at your house. I’d come too if I knew I could get an eggo for breakfast.

And yes, that squirrel does look like it will cut a bitch if you touch that eggo.

Courtney
11 years ago

Nature; it’ll getcha someday!

Nolita
11 years ago

I also love the dark duck photo – very ominous and foreboding looking. And in the other picture he seems to be look RIGHT AT YOU. Are you sure it’s a live animal and not a surveillance robot?

I think neighbor cats outnumber the squirrels in my back yard right now. They seem to be enamoured with our chickens. When they get too comfy or smug, a BB gun helps them to gain some perspective (for a while anyway).

Perhaps your neighbors are throwing Eggos in your backyard to keep the little guys away from their feeders? We thought about tossing catnip seeds over the fence to persuade cats to go elsewhere…

I will have to research that bungee feeder…

PinkieBling
PinkieBling
11 years ago

Cracking up over here! The two little guys facing each other on the rail look like two fake squirrels my grandmother had as lawn ornaments. As far as ducks, I have ALWAYS thought they were creepy. Have you ever been chased by one? It is terrifying! Favorite: “No Mess Wild Birdfeed Seeds: Black Tar Heroin Variety,” although the kids’ impression of Dug the Dog is also hilarious. For me.

Redbecca
Redbecca
11 years ago

Ha ha ha! RATS IN DRAG!!!

Great shots, Linda. That last one is priceless! I agree it is probably the absence of Dog that is bringing the wildlife to your yard.
I also have this incredible mental image of the bungee feeder that I think will keep the smile on my face all day.

jen
jen
11 years ago

Now is that squirrel having Breakfast or is it just a Snack? It looks like a Snack to me.

I would guess it is lack of a dog. The other day I saw a dog chase a robin off territory so I think they are pretty big deterrents.

AndreAnna
11 years ago

The week after we put our last dog down, we went away for a few days. We came back to what can only be described as the after-party to Groundhog Hedonism.

It’s definitely the Lack of Dog.

I miss her for you.

Melissa
Melissa
11 years ago

The duck at night is a scream and so is the squirrel with the waffle.

MRW
MRW
11 years ago

Becky and Laura – HAHAHA!

We have a ton of squirrels in our backyard and we have a dog who chases them (and has actually caught one probably due to the fact that she was a stray fending for herself for a few months before we got her – she’s tough). I’m quite certain that if our dog wasn’t there we’d be overrun with rodents.

There were a pair of ducks and some ducklings living in our neighbor’s bushes last Spring. You know you live someplace where there has been too damned much rain when ducks nest in your bushes and there isn’t technically a wetland around for miles. Pacific NW “Spring” strikes again.

Halyn
Halyn
11 years ago

HA!!! What a great post.

And Becky and Laura-HAHAHAHA..also, I was totally going to post that. LOVE the lurky duck. That’s effin hilarious.

Tracey
Tracey
11 years ago

Love this post. I saw a squirrel steal a Rolo from a store once. Definitely one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Marolyn
Marolyn
11 years ago

Squirrels… the leaders of the animal conspiracy.

laziza
laziza
11 years ago

I swear to God, only you could make a post about the squirrels in your backyard this entertaining.

briarviolet
11 years ago

I once saw a squirrel on campus with a ho-ho shoved into his mouth. Really made me wish I had my camera.

Jen
Jen
11 years ago

Oh yeah. When our dog passed away two years ago, we started seeing more wildlife in our Seattle backyard. The squirrels now run a full-on brothel, the crows strut around like mob bosses, and the raccoons stroll across the back lawn in broad daylight. It’s definitely a little creepy.

Sorry for the loss of your Dog. We lost our beagle suddenly, and it took me a good year to get used to her being gone. :(

Kami
Kami
11 years ago

The eggo picture made this post. Hilarious.

VirtualSprite
11 years ago

Since that pack of coyotes moved into our yard, we’ve had very few squirrels. Dangerous? Absolutely. Loud? Sure, but very effective rodent control.

(I wish I was kidding.)

sheilah
11 years ago

@Marolyn – ‘…leaders of the animal conspiracy…’ hehe…I think you’re right. I once took a photography course and was taking shots on the UW campus. I got down on one knee to take a pic of a building and one of the squirrels that rule the campus grounds RAN UP MY BACK AND STOLE PEANUTS FROM MY BACKPACK.

The little fu#$er…

Catriona
Catriona
11 years ago

Even the squirrels get waffles for a snack at your place!

Melissa
11 years ago

Ahaha. that last eggo line caught me offguard and i just giggled out loud. and i’m not alone here today. hahaha thanks.

Judy
Judy
11 years ago

Let me tell you about that goose. I lived in a high rise by a river. First summer we had three nesting couples living right around us, and it was so CUTE to see the baby geese swimming and walking behind the parent while the other parent brought up the rear. One of them had one gosling (which we immediately named Uno), one couple had 4 and one had 5.

By the second year all the goslings were grown up and maybe a few cousins moved down from Canada, because suddenly we had about 20 nesting couples, and they had… oh, you don’t want to hear it. But the babies ceased being adorable and became very ho-hum to us, and the noise! Not to mention the goose shit!!!

Beware.

Donna
Donna
11 years ago

Becky, Laura, etc — took the words right out of my mouth. My God, this entry and the comments are hilarious!

Dianna
11 years ago

I live in Bellevue too and they are seriously everywhere. I have never seen this many around. Good thing they are cute though!

SueAnn
SueAnn
11 years ago

A couple of months after my dog died, the rats moved in. To my house. Here’s hoping your critters stick to the backyard.

Suzanne
11 years ago

My toddler calls them all “mouse”. There’s nothing quite like having a 2 year old shriek “MAMA, MOUSE!” to raise your heart rate. I usually get in a little cardio jumping up onto a chair before I realize he means squirrel.

velocibadgergirl
11 years ago

Okay, the squirrel with the Eggo is too much. Awesome, hilarious, and freaky all at once!

April G.
11 years ago

The duck! He immediately made me snort-laugh. How the heck does a duck get on a roof?! So funny.