Oct
5
What is your favorite color he asks me and I realize I have no idea. Did I, once? I think of a certain autmn leaf’s fire-tinged maroon, dappled green light from sun pooling into a forest clearing, the cerulean turquoise of a warm-water sea. I can’t color these moments, they’re slipping away from me even as I remember them. Red, I say, and he digs through the box.
I want to draw the snap of twigs underfoot, the scent of Ponderosa pine, the teary salt-taste of raising your face from the ocean and seeing where the blue of sky touches the water, the cold late-light October burn, but I have this blunt piece of wax and I do what I can. I draw a square house, a triangle for a roof, a door. Draw me and Dylan and Daddy he says excitedly and now there are three stick figures. It’s us, he says. Make the cat, too.
I am not good enough at this, I think. I want the paper to dance, I want to bring something to life. I want to stop wanting things, maybe.
Outside the window the clouds have joined together in a swath of flat grey and the trees are letting go their armfuls with every gust and I draw one red leaf, not the right color at all, and he says that’s pretty and okay. Okay.
Comments
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Your photography brings things to life. Your words bring things to life. Especially your words.
Oh, but you are so good at this writing thing.
I so love the way you put things into words.
And yet you draw with words like a true artist….
I can see and taste and hear what you write! You do a FABULOUS job of capturing these experiences and sensations and sharing them with us. So maybe you can’t literally draw it but you paint the picture so well for so many of us. Thank you!
Thank you for making me realize I suck at both drawing like you wish you could and writing as well as you do.
Very beautiful post.
You may not be able to draw but, girl, you can write. Beautiful.
The enormous beauty of your writing often brings me to tears. We are all artists in our own way.
I heart you. Your words are art, never failing to touch me in some way. Thank you.
I can’t draw to save my life, but I try to remember that my five year old wants to spend time with me coloring, and the time is what is important, not the actual picture.
“I want to stop wanting things, maybe.”
I think about this often these days.
One day he will be able to read this and understand that THIS is what you do.
You got skills!
I’m sure your stick figures danced for him. I still have some stick figures my mom drew for me and they were FABULOUS when she did them. And I’m, uh, OLD now. They are still fabulous…in their own way.
You draw and paint with your keyboard… I remember thinking my mother was the BEST in the world at coloring, and idolized her talent. She outlined (!) things in my coloring book, or created a little shadow on something with a different color from the big box of crayons. It doesn’t matter what/how you draw, your sons will feel the same about you I’m sure!
Whew. That is some writing, right there.
I also want to stop wanting things. . . trying to be content these days seems quite difficult. Also? The gray, gray, gray of Seattle is bringing everyone down.
Oh but your words are so beautiful……
But your writing makes the page sparkle!
Oh Linda, I don’t possess the words to tell you how beautiful this is, or how it makes me feel. Thank you.
But damn you can write
You can’t stop wanting things. Wanting is what keeps us living.
Kids have it figured out. Anything can be simply beautiful. The adults are the ones making it too complicated, always demanding more because we feel we deserve more.
So lovely. You have a true gift, Linda.
(Also, I have to put IDs on my stick figures. I can’t draw for crap, either)
Your words TOTALLY bring things to life and make things dance. Like my heart. So glad you share this gift with us.
It reads like you’re trying too hard.
We as parents have to remember that our babies just want to spend time with us doing what they want to do. He doesn’t care how you draw. He is going to think it is very pretty.
This is not actually about drawing. I know. Not clear. Just writing out some brain-goo.
Oh Linda, this is just gorgeous… I love it when you write like this: BAM! Straight from the gut. I know exactly what you mean… how it feels to want to capture the color of life passing… and you DO. You do, with this record.
xo
What Christina Rosalie said. Really. A LOT.
Exactly, exactly what Christina Rosalie said. Beautiful. It makes my heart hurt and my breath catch.