I say there is no need to warn parents before hand. In fact…I think if I was bringing my kid to your house for a play date and you were like dude I have guns I’d be like, okay so they are WEIRD, and make up some excuse why my Dylan couldn’t come. not because you had guns. But because you told me you had guns. I think it’s different than say, if you had a pool – which would give the other parent the opportunity to tell you that their kid can’t swim at all regardless of how many Gold Medals they tell you they’ve won at various competitions, and so forth. Or a trampoline, because my kids a total klutz and I should come prepared to rush him to the er with a broken noggin. Guns, eh. We kinda all have them whether we talk about them or not don’t we? You’ve taken the percautions necessary for your own children, so I’d just not bring it up.

Also it’s not like your going to be like and okay kid lets go look at our GUN collection, K? I mean right? Cause that would be weird.

I grew up with an arsenal. My dad collects guns as a hobby. He has a sort of unbelievable amount. My parents are also well prepared for the zombies.

As far as I know, they never told parents about the arsenal. They kept the guns locked up and unloaded, I still have no idea where the key is. There was never a risk. They knew that, so I guess they figured there was no need to tell.

But at the same time, I’m willing to be I had friends whose parents would have been horrified to know there were guns in the house. And likely wouldn’t have sent their kids over to play with me. Which is exactly why they didn’t tell, I guess.

I don’t know what the right thing to do is. There are other dangers no matter what. Do you demand to know what narcotics the other kids’ parents are taking and whether or not your kid will be able to access them and start taking them? I think it’s a valid comparison. Both are extremely dangerous. Which are more likely to be locked up? Your guns or their pills?

Hi Linda! We are NOT gun owners but I have friends who are. They disclosed to me up front that they have them and showed me how they are stored. I have no worries about my kids playing there. I would not necessarily think to ask because THAT seems weird to me. “Oh, a playdate sounds great. But let me ask you if you have any firearms lying about.” I think a simple, “I’m not sure how you feel about firearms but I wanted to let you know that we have them in our house and that they are very safely stored. I’d be happy to tell you more about it if that’s something you need to know about before agreeing to let your kids come over.” Or something like that.

Oh, I forgot to add that, if they know you and your husband fairly well they probably know you have firearms and then it’s not weird at all to ask how you store them. If I know that someone in the house is a hunter or in law enforcement or something I assume they have weapons and will ask how they are stored if I don’t know and am uncomfortable. But to just ask randomly if people have guns seems weird to me.

Interesting question… My husband and I are hunters, and we just moved from Montana (where no use asking, because yes, everyone has guns) to a considerably more liberal part of the country. We also have all our stuff in a safe, unloaded, etc. (We would be totally useless if someone actually broke in.) It’s never even occurred to me that I’d need to disclose this tidbit.

My son is only almost-3, so if there was a playdate, the other parent would probably be here or I’d be in the mix. The question isn’t entirely relevant for me, yet. Perhaps, when the time comes, I’ll just volunteer the fact that I’m a hunter early on to the other parent. Then gun ownership is implied, but I don’t have get all over-wrought about OMG, I have GUNS, is that OKAY with you? Gun storage is a valid question when you have a couple of young kids even partially unsupervised, but I don’t really want to go around announcing our gun ownership status to every other mother I meet!

I don’t have kids or a gun…but I just wanted to say that reading all these comments made me so damn grateful to be living in Australia – where in general people don’t have guns and therefore this conversation is mind boggling.

A lot of people here see the US as a f’ed up country and the prevalence of guns has a LOT to do with that. The NRA etc are fruit loops!

I asked my husband about this. He grew up in a rural area of Sweden & he said he had a play date once at a friend’s place whose father was a national park ranger. My husband and this guy’s kid found a bullet that must have fallen out of his pocket on the driveway. My husband’s dad found him and his brother in the garage with the bullet in a vice and hitting the end with a hammer trying to make it explode!! I don’t believe there is any “safe” way of owning or storing guns, as accidents can always happen. The right to bear arms is the scariest thing I’ve ever heard of in my whole life (and possibly the most ridiculous!) Thank jeebers for Australia and that its not something that even ever has to cross my mind.

I think the onus is on the other parent to ask. You’re not doing anything illegal.

Contrary to what Margie above thinks, I do believe there is a safe way to own and store guns and it sounds like you’re doing it.

People just get freaked out about guns, but like you said, kitchen knives are probably more dangerous and accessible. As is drain cleaner and probably a million other household objects. If someone has such a problem with guns that your ownership of them would be an issue, I don’t think it’s too much to ask that they be the ones to bring up the issue.

We don’t have guns, but my Dad has several in a big safe with a bank vault-ish type lock, I cannot get in the safe at his house if I wanted to (because although he gave me the combination years ago, I never wrote it down or tried to use it so it didn’t stick in my head)… I don’t necessarily think you need to speak up about it, but then again right now, the only playdates my kids really have usually involve the parents staying too. I will say that previous posters bring up good points about conceal and carry, I have two brother-in-laws with permits to do so… and I am always trying to look at them and see if they have their guns on them because I am TERRIFIED that one of my kids will grab it by accident, I want to assume they wouldnt wear it near them, but at least with one… I just dont know.

FASCINATING!

And scary. Totally terrified of guns, myself.

I’m liking the suggested stragety of disclose all info. Like, hey, come on over, but know that we have a dog a cat, a younger brother, my mom will be there, and we have locked guns and we don’t eat wheat and pray at noon.

This way you can disclose it all at once, open it up for the other parent to do the same, and not sound weird for only mentioning the gun bit.

Aaaaand AGREE that knives != guns. We all have culinary knives and we all know how to store them properly and we all know that we all know that. Guns are entirely different.

Lastly, sheesh, I am one sheltered native Californian. I had NO IDEA, people!

You and JB are responsible gun owners (as we are). If they are stored in gun safes (and the safes are properly locked) there really isn’t an issue in MY opinion. I would be far more worried about Riley going to someone’s house where I don’t know if they had guns and how they stored them. OR if they let their kids have “play” guns. Our kids have NEVER had play guns, except super soakers and nerf guns that cannot be mistaken for real ones by any stretch of the imagination. All of our kids also took firearm safety by the time they were 9 years old. Riley is a little young and Dylan definitely, but when the time comes, firearm safety should be part of their lives.

Our family goes to Wade’s pretty regularly to shoot. I’m not that into it, but I really want to learn to shoot better. My husband recently bought a little .22 target pistol especially for our 14 year old and me. Strangely enough, the kids is a pretty good shooter!

If someone ASKS if you have guns in your house, be honest and tell them, and tell them how they are stored. If the parent doesn’t think to ask, I don’t think you have to volunteer the information. If the parent doesn’t want their kid to play at your house because you own guns, that’s their hang-up. That would make it pretty clear to me that the parent is not smart enough to teach their kids caution and respect for firearms. Some folks think that ignorance of guns (or any other thing) is protection. In truth ignorance is DEADLY. TElling and teaching your kids the truth, is ALWAYS preferable to ignorance.

You’re doing it right!

I am on the no need to mention it out of the blue side of things. Are the bullets also locked and in a different place? That would be the last piece of the puzzle to me, but I grew up with a .22 just in a cabinet in the mudroom — we were in the country and you never knew when you’d really need to grab that thing and shoot something, sadly. You’re in the city and yours are locked… I just was aware my ass would be painted red if I thought about touching it.

Voluntary disclosure seems to be a slippery slope. Where do you stop disclosing? You tell about the guns…what else?

“We have 2 chefs knives and 4 paring knives, and a set of steak knives. Also, a couple corkscrews and a vegetable peeler. There are his and hers razors in the master bathroom. There’s ant killer in the shed, oh, and some fertilizer, too. We keep the non-prescription drugs in the kitchen, but the good stuf–er, prescription drugs are locked up in the bathroom.”

It could just go on and on, right? It’s up to the parent to ask about what is important to them. I ask about gun safety, drug safety, and pool safety.

No- you do not have to tell them about it, if the guns are not visible ! If your guns were displayed prominently or in a transparent case, yes, because kids like to “show off” things. But if they can’t access it at all or see it, then no. :) That’s my 2 cents

If they are stored safely, you’ve done your part, IMO. But then I’m hardly your typical delicate-flower helicopter parent from a sheltered suburban upbringing. I grew up around guns like this: My grandparents had a gun ROOM. Like, a bedroom whose walls were lined with gun cases with glass doors full of rifles and shotguns and handguns. They had in the neighborhood of 25 grandchildren, who grew up going to their house often, some of whom lived in their house for extended periods. Sometimes there were pistols sitting out on counters. Sometimes the door to the gun room was unlocked. Sometimes there was a dead deer hanging in the garage. Sometimes — oh glorious sometimes — there was tenderized, chicken-fried venison steak for dinner. We kids all KNEW what guns did. We knew so, so, so much better than to play with those guns. And not only because we could accidentally kill ourselves or someone else with them, but because we knew that we would get a butt-whipping we would never forget from our revered grandparents if we touched ANYTHING in their house that was off-limits to us, including and especially their guns.

Do I recommend this kind of upbringing now? No, all told I’d say we were pretty lucky to never have a single accident or even near-accident in that environment. But all the same it was a hell of a way to learn gun safety. We were not a group of kids brought up on three-counts and time-outs and positive discipline and I-language, and I know that helped in that department.

(In the modern era, our guns are stored in safes, all kept locked pretty much all the time, including any time other people’s younglings are around. And yeah, I use my share of I-language. Times change. Somewhat.)

I love Brenna’s answer. Don’t forget about the bathtub and the stairs — leading cause of accidental death in children after, ohmygoodness, cars. “We have a Touareg and a truck. But we definitely keep them locked and the keys out of reach whenever kids are over.”

I think a little responsibility lies on both parties. Guns are really scary – no matter how you spin it, they are involved in many accidental deaths – which leads most people to either freak out or hide behind bravado. Both responses can make a frank, adult discussion of guns in the home a little difficult. I think a lot of people may want to ask, and a lot of people may want to give a heads up, but everyone winds up keeping their mouth shut to avoid an awkward conversation.

If I were in your position, I would mention it. Considering the area you live in, parents may not have taught their kids anything about gun safety and may appreciate the reminder that it is time to do so. If they freak out, then they can be the hosts. No biggie.

You don’t HAVE to tell, but maybe you should. In an area that is somewhat anti-gun allowing people to know and make an informed choice is probably better than the panicked phone call when your kids says something that is misreported by another kid and now everyone things you sleep with a loaded shotgun under your pillow.

Personally, I would make the choice based on my feelings about the person, not based on number of guns owned. If guns were the tie breaker on whether or not I felt safe having my kids in someone’s care, lets face it, I probably should not have been considering it anyway.

At the end of the day people probably won’t care, and if they do, well hey, not everyone in your kid’s lives is going to be a love match. Pretty sure this wasn’t helpful, but I admire you so much for even bringing this up.

We too are gun owners, my husband had a permit to carry (that he only uses during hunting season). I have never once told a parent about the guns we have locked up in the safe in my bedroom before a playdate, and I have never had a parent ask about it. My kids are 13, 10 and 9, my oldest sons friend from elementary school came to our house many times, I was talking with his Mom one time and the subject of guns came up. Her opinion was not the same as mine, when I told her that we pretty much had a small aresenal in our home, she never batted an eye. She told me, I know that they are locked up and that while my son is at your house you are careful to not let him near your guns, its no issue for me. You and JB are responsible gun owners, and you have taught your kids respect for guns, your kids probably have no interest in making Daddys guns into toys with their friends. I would not mention it to any parent, unless I was asked.

It wouldn’t occur to me to ask someone if they have guns – recently relocated to the burbs from NYC, not many gun owners around here. But I do think I’d want to know.

We have many many guns in our house. They all have trigger locks but not all are in the gun cabinet.
I don’t see why you should mention it if your guns are safely locked up and kid proof.

My 8 yr old son has a playmate that got a bb gun and a big pocket knife for xmas. Now, we have a couple of guns (kept in locked gun backs with bag locks and trigger locks and the keys are on the other side of the house in a desk) and, um, this is Texas (lots of guns) but I had to say something to the other mom.

Her 8 yr old kept talking about his gun and she had mentioned he’d cut himself on the knife.

I just told her I needed to talk to her and I really hoped she would not take it wrong but could she please lock up the bb gun and knife when my kid comes over. I told her he is not the safest kid and i was scared of what these two 8 yr old could do with a bb gun and a knife. She totally understood and promised to lock them away. I told her i was very relieved she understood and we shoulder hugged.

Is the gun case something the kids would see? A glass-front type? Then yes, maybe. I don’t think it’s necessary if they are locked up and put somewhere that the kids wouldn’t even be. I grew up around guns but also have a strange fear of them…our neighbors are hunters and I’ve never asked them if their guns are always locked up. I should, probably. It’s a touchy subject, for sure.

How can it be the responsibility of the parent whose child is coming over TO ASK. “You seem like the type of people who would own guns. DO YOU.” Just kindof awkward? I support the right to bear arms if you care for them responsibly, keep them secured AND ARE LICENSED to own them. If I found out from my child’s friend that the family kept firearms in the home instead of finding out from the parents, I think I’d be uncomfortable – and I grew up around guns. The analogies to other dangerous items in the home are pertinent, but you don’t have to undergo background checks (well, you SHOULD have to) to keep kitchen knives, matches and household cleaners in your home. Ack, I sound preachy. Full disclosure seems like the safest bet and will put your mind at ease. That you’re even willing to entertain this type of discussion is awesome, and shows that you are a responsible parent. Not all are.

*Should have to undergo background checks to own firearms, not knives/matches/cleaners. :)

There’s been a lot of awesome discussion between how to handle this issue between parents. I think some onus also falls upon us as parents to have conversations with our own children; to talk to them about what they should do if by any chance they come across any kind of gun at a friend or relative’s house. Just this past Christmas Eve a friend of one of my friends found herself in a nightmare situation when her sons found a pellet gun they mistook for a video game controller. I hope you don’t mind my sharing. Her story is very appropriate to this conversation, and I feel worth the read. http://www.valleybreeze.com/2012/01/03/north-providence/talk-with-your-children-about-any-guns-they-might-discover

This is interesting and something I don’t know that I would have thought of. Where I grew up and still live, hunting is a major pasttime. My dad always had guns (rifles, shotguns, not handguns) and while he kept ammo elsewhere, he did not lock the guns up. He kept them on racks on the wall. However, he teaches courses on gun and hunting safety and from a very young age my siblings and I were taught to treat weapons with respect.

My husband has quite a collection kept in locked, glass front cases. I probably would not think to tell other parents about them or ask about theirs because it (perhaps naively) just doesn’t occur to me that there are still people around here who would be so careless.

As the owner of several very securely stored firearms (BIG safe, complicated combination)and the parent of a child very well trained in gun safety, I don’t bring it up. I don’t feel the need to mention any of the other legal but dangerous if used incorrectly tools in my home, so why my guns? I also have a very heavy mallet, a skilsaw, a recip saw, a couple of drills, several long, sharp screwdrivers, chisels, cleaning supplies, ant poison, and medications in the house. Oh, we have peanut butter, too. Jeez, there are a lot of ways to die in this house, and I didn’t even have to prove I’m not a criminal for any of those items except the guns.
It seems like much ado about nothing…the safe isn’t accessible, it’s deep in a dark corner of my bedroom, where children will not be, and I’m not going to be cleaning or handling the guns while I have a guest.
I guess to me it seems like there is so much danger out there, you’ll never come up with a checklist that keeps your kid totally safe. For all you know, the house your kid is playing at has a weird uncle that family members don’t talk about, but all the females avoid. Or maybe the older teen has a baggie of coke stashed in his dresser drawer. But do you ask things like that? “oh hi, do you have any sex offenders in your family? Will they be at the house?” No, you don’t.
If your kid is old enough to be playing at another kid’s house without you, I think it’s up to you to have trained your child how to think safety first and protect themselves. And whether you like guns or hate them, believe in the 2nd amendment or not, your child should be taught to never ever ever even think about touching/going near a gun without you standing by.
If I was asked by a parent, yes, I would disclose, and if it made them happy, would show them the method of storage.

Forgot to mention that the collections many around here have can be quite valuable. Some like to show them off, but others would not feel comfortable sharing information about their guns beyond, “Yes, I am a gun owner. They are locked up.” I know some guys who would absolutely not appreciate additional questions like where in the house, how many, what kind, what kind of lock. Their first thought would be that you might rob him or blab to someone who would.

I think you should disclose that up front. If for no other reason than that a friend’s parent who finds out too late/the wrong way (ie, not from you directly) could end a blossoming friendship and that would hurt your boys. I have a friend who found herself alienated from all of her kids’ friends’ parents (and the kids from their friends) because of an unannounced/unknown gun exposure.

We don’t have guns. I do ask other parents if they have guns in the house where my child will be playing (the 1st time anyway). A yes answer is not a deal-breaker, as long as the guns are properly stored. I wouldn’t expect anyone to disclose that up front though – the burden is on me because it is a concern I have.

I DO talk with my kids regularly about what to do if they see a gun at someone else’s house (and related what-if’s – what if the friend says it’s ok, or unloaded, or he/she “knows how” to handle it). I also stress that our family rules apply to us even in someone else’s home – ie, if it’s ok to play with matches or count the pills in the medicine cabinet or jump on the bed with shoes on at Tommy’s house, it is still not ok for OUR family to do that so DON’T do it at Tommy’s.

I think you should tell them. The argument “we have knives, and matches, and cleaning supplies” doesn’t seem quite the same to me because all houses have those items, and I assume when I’m sending my kid into a house that it has knives. I don’t assume that it has guns, in fact I would just assume it doesn’t. I wouldn’t freak and I wouldn’t NOT let my kid play there, but I would want to know and I would want to have a quick chat about where they’re stored, if the kids know that info, etc. I think it’s a really good, mature thing to do, and that parents will really appreciate it.

I think I would want to know in advance, and I would want to know that they were all stored in a locked, secure, kidproof environment. And then I might still suggest that we meet at the park instead, because guns kind of freak me out. (There was a Fatal Gun Accident in my hometown when I was a kid, involving a classmate of mine and his brother. Scarring stuff.)

I think if you feel it needs to be addressed; then do it. If my child was coming over to your house and you didn’t bring it up, it wouldn’t bother me if I found out some other way. You’re being responsible.
If you are OK with your children being in the house with the guns in their current situation, then I would be OK with mine being there too.

I think if guns are A Thing for you and you NEED to know, then you should be the one to ask. Otherwise, I think responsible gun ownership is a non-issue.
Really, I don’t think disclosing it up front OR asking is going to fix the problem:
– Disclosing it up front=Hi, we are completely responsible with our guns and they pose no more threat to your child than the traffic passing by out front but I realize that gun ownership is A Thing for some people so I am saying this is case you are one of those people because if you are not, then this piece of information is not going to change anything that is going to happen here today.
– Asking up front= Hi, um, I know this is totally awkward but do you keep any guns in the house? No? Okay, then! Just wondering! Yes? Um, ok…can I see where you store them? Ooooh, your safe is in the bedroom…I’m afraid I’m still going to have to see it because I don’t know what your idea of a safe is…(tin box with a broken padlock? Vault?)
I don’t know. The whole thing seems awkward and like a useless exercise in worry since, just like BUYING guns, responsible owners are not the ones to worry about.

I own firearms. They are on lockdown, just like yours.
I am also an EMT. I think many, many more kids get in trouble with stuff like HOTDOGS and BALLOONS.
I don’t think it is anyone else’s business, unless, of course you are carrying concealed.
I see many more kids hurt and dead in MVAs and hotdog underchewing than gun safety negligence. I have seen zero of those.

Wow, this question sure makes me glad I live in the middle of a large city in France – I shouldn’t think anyone in a 15 miles radius owns a gun round here (except police and army types)… In fact, I have never even SEEN (let alone TOUCHED) a real gun and am mighty glad of that fact! Obviously, hunting rifles are pretty common out in the country, even here…
For your question, I can’t really answer, simply because of what I just wrote: a parent telling me they have a gun would FREAK ME OUT, simply because no one has one, so if you do, WHY?
But – as your weapons seem to be pretty well locked away, I’m not sure it’s necessary to tell other parents. Not yet, anyway. Maybe when your boys (and their friends) are older it might be worth mentioning…

DITTO MARGIE FROM AUSTRALIA. and i live in texas. Margie, I love you.

It’s interesting to read all the perspectives. I live in a mostly rural area where hunting is practically mandatory. My husband owns an archery shop and range, so we always have bows and arrows lying around the house. We also have guns. Most of the time they are locked in a cabinet, but sometimes — especially lately when we’ve been having some serious coyote problems — they are by the back door, unloaded with safety on and ammo in a safe place away from little fingers. My teenagers have both taken hunter safety and gun safety classes and my little one has come to the gun range with us. He knows what guns do and why he should never, never touch them.

My children’s friends all know that we have guns and that we hunt, but it’s something that comes up in casual conversation in our neck of the woods. Not everyone has guns, but nearly everyone expects that some parents will have guns and those parents will take adequate precautions. I’m far more likely to warn parents about the coyotes, bears and wolves that circle our property than I am about the guns. But, also, we supervise our children and their friends. We make sure we know where they are and what they’re doing, and we expect that other parents will do the same.

So, my advice would be to play it by ear. If the other parents know you and JB and what your hobbies are, they’ll probably figure out that you have guns and if they have concerns, they’ll ask. At least, that’s what my experience has been.

I must say, I’m quite surprised by the number of people who feel that gun ownership should be disclosed. Then again, I’m from Wisconsin, and 99% of the population hunts here. If my parents had been afraid of letting me stay at a home with guns, I would have never went anywhere! I grew up in a house with lots of guns – 2 cabinets of them! They were always stored unloaded and locked. Even if I had been able to get into the gun cabinet, I would have had to have known which bullets to put in it, how to load it, and how to use it. And frankly, I never even had an interest in doing so. My parents had always taught me that guns could be dangerous and should only be handled by adults. I don’t think it’s your responsibility to inform others that you own guns. If they’re concerned, they’ll ask. I think informing them would only freak them out.

I would say something, if only to circumvent anger or confusion if the visiting child were to see the safe(s), and then go tell their parents about them. Not sure if the kids ever run past the storage spaces, etc. – but if I were a parent, and my child told me about the gun safes, I *know* I would be angry you hadn’t told me first. I have no opposition to guns in the home, particularly since you’ve taken measures to store them safely and properly. It has nothing to do with the presence of the guns, merely the conduit by which I (as a hypothetical parent) would find out about them.

What a great question! I think the area you live in would play a part in the answer. For example, we live in the midwest in the country where everyone has guns. (we do too) So it is pretty common for my children’s friends to have guns in their houses. I typically check the place out before dropping my kids off for the first time, and I would ask. I don’t think about mentioning our guns or how they are stored (locked and ammo locked seperately) to people. I just didn’t think about it.

There are too many comments for me to weed through right now, so I’m sorry if this is a repeat comment, but by telling the parent(s), you might also (indirectly) be telling the guest child in the sense that the child might overhear his parents talking about it. I assume that your own children know about the guns, but do they talk about it with their peers? Discuss it in school? Would you mind if they did? I suppose since you’ve mentioned this on the internet, it might not be an issue for you, but I personally see it as a point that is personal and private, and not something I would want to become public knowledge.

I think the porn analogy above is a good one — is it really anyone else’s business whether or not you have weapons? I say No. Not really. Houses are filled with dangerous items (like knives, matches, power drills, etc. as others have mentioned) that children could access easily. Locked guns seem like a comparatively small danger.

i’m from australia too and no, perhaps as an earlier aussie commenter said this topic is not quite as pertinent here in general as in the US. i wouldn’t go so far as to say it doesn’t require thinking about here though: particularly in farming communities where gun ownership is of course quite high. where i live in suburbia, it might not occur to me to ask if ask if another family has guns (although, this discussion certainly encourages one not to be presumptuous or complacent about that which is a very good thing) but in a rural setting damn straight i would be asking that. anyway. in relation to your actual question: i personally would want to know, no matter how safely and responsibly you store your guns. you know you can trust yourself, obviously … but i as a parent, with no fear mongering or undue distrust whatsoever, would like at least the opportunity to choose whether or not i would share that trust or not before i sent my kids over.

My husband owns quite a few guns and they are all locked away in a fireproof bank-type vault. We live in the South, where it’s commonly accepted that most everyone owns a gun. I’ve had one parent ask me about guns in our home (and she wasn’t from these parts).

From my experience, by and large, most gun owners take the storage of their fire arms very seriously. Guns are an expensive investment and as such, they are usually put away, under lock and key where no one – not even an adult – can get to them.

It’s funny but I’ve never even thought about guns in homes. I mean, I’m from Canada, but I know a few people who hunt. I guess I’ve always assumed that if you have ’em, you know enough to lock ’em up.

You would think I’d know better: when I was a teenager and visiting a friend, said friend decided to show off by taking me to his parents’ room and pulling out from the sock drawer both a small handgun and a giant dildo. I suspect the horror of the latter item kind of overpowered whatever reaction I had to the former. I mean, these were his nice, conservative, grey-haired parents and I was maybe 15 – the ew factor was through the roof. True story.

Wow, I live in Minnesota….and grew up in a hunting family. And a lot of the kids I knew growing up had guns in their houses, too. It never even occurred to me that people might need to “disclose” such a thing. I was nodding my head to Ashley’s comment a few above mine. And honestly, I don’t really think it’s anyone’s business if they are properly stored, unloaded, locked, etc….like another commenter said, the butcher knife on the kitchen counter is far more dangerous in that situation, or a strange uncle or whatever. Or maybe I’m still living in the ’80s, when I grew up and kids hadn’t shot each other with the same frequency they do now? Or, since crime has dropped so dramatically, but our perception of it has risen (I’m talking about gangs, etc., and not school shootings, which have obviously risen). I also don’t have kids yet, so maybe this world has really changed.
BUT–you have taken great care so that they couldn’t possibly get to them, so … so what. I would understand whichever route you took.
Now that I’m thinking on it more, I don’t even recall that our guns were locked up! They were in the basement and we weren’t allowed to touch them under any circumstances, so we didn’t. My dad also impressed upon us that the most dangerous gun was the one that was “unloaded,” so we were never allowed to be near them unless it was under his supervision. I never had any interest, but my brother got to shoot them with my dad when he got old enough. But as far as I can tell, no one thought twice (and no, I don’t live in the country. I live in the capital city.) However, maybe where you live is much more anti-gun (we have conceal and carry here, even) and it’s a bit more unique to own guns, so maybe socially/culturally you have to treat it differently. (Funny enough, of most of my hunting-family friends…the kids don’t hunt, so none of us own guns now.)

I say tell. Don’t make a big deal, just “Hey, we’re super excited that little Thelonius is coming over. Does he have any health issues I should know about? Also, in case Riley says something about it, we are gun owners, but they’re unloaded and locked up.”

That way, the parent isn’t surprised, they don’t have to feel bad about being nosy or too uptight, and you’re ethically in the clear.

I’m a pediatric ICU doctor. If guns were outlawed tomorrow, I’d be fine with that. Guns are in a different class than knives or allergies or bathtubs. If a kid gets shot, even if they don’t die the chances that they’ll be the same afterwards are pretty much zero. I have no problem with individuals who are responsible gun owners, but so many people aren’t. Other parents deserve to know up front that you’re being sensible about something with such enormous potential for heartbreak.

We are gun owners (7 total, 3 are mine). I would never even think to bring that up to a kid’s parent but then again in this part of the country you’re weird if you don’t have one.
Maybe that is a sign you should re-locate, ha!