We had the strangest bout of kid illness this weekend. First JB and I emerged from Cabin in the Woods (my second viewing, it’s that good) on Friday night to retrieve a bunch of text messages from our babysitter describing a dramatically sudden barf attack from Dylan. “But don’t worry!” she wrote, because she’s a sweetheart. Yo babysitter I’m really happy you told me not to worry but a Barf Text is the biggest date night buzzkill of all time!

Apparently Dylan had complained of a headache, then sat up in bed and BLOOORP. Also, I’m sorry to report he’d eaten hotdogs beforehand, and I don’t know what it is about hotdogs, but they never dissolve. NEVER. Barfed hotdogs look exactly like chewed hotdogs, and even the barfdog-pieces will remain in the bottom of the washing machine, wholly untouched by the laundering process, until you call on your last mental reserve and wipe them out with a paper towel.

(I complained about the hotdog disaster on Twitter and several people were like “EWWW” and “THANKS FOR THE MENTAL IMAGE!” and I was like, oh, am I supposed to feel bad about grossing you out? Because I’m pretty sure sharing the burden of my personal trauma and disgust is exactly what Twitter’s for.)

We’d planned a short trip east to Cle Elum for the next day and when Dylan seemed perfectly fine in the morning, off we went to explore some cool graveyards and marvel at the presence of an actual push-button telephone in the hotel room. Fast forward to 8 PM that night—exactly 24 hours after Dylan’s pukeplosion—and Riley suddenly complained of a headache. Dun dun dunnnnnn.

After Riley’s equally dramatic but thankfully bathroom-contained eruption, he too fell asleep and was perfectly fine the next morning. Have you ever heard of a virus like that? Sudden onset headache, Puke Attack, then back to normal the next day? I don’t know what the hell that was all about, but I guess I’m glad it was short-lived.

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PS: The front of Dylan’s collarbone brace got barfed on so we had to wash it and then it shrunk and kept coming undone so we drove to the weekend clinic and begged for a new one and they gave us one in a larger size and it doesn’t fit very well either and oh god, he’s going to look like Quasimodo for-fucking-ever, isn’t he?

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Juliette
Juliette
10 years ago

We had the *exact* same thing making the rounds out here in NJ for a few weeks in Feb/March. I had it first, then my daughter (4YO), then husband, and both my parents. Went around the daycare, too.
Glad to hear it was over fast for your boys!

Beth
Beth
10 years ago

My entire family (including my in-laws)had it on vacation. One each day…it even then hit a couple of the people we had driven 12 hours to visit. I was the one hold out, probably because I didn’t eat anything for pretty much 5 days. Barfin’ isn’t my thing. I’ll go to greaaat lengths to avoid it.

Mandy
Mandy
10 years ago

Kids’ bones heal so quickly! When my son broke his collarbone we didn’t get a brace like that but they gave us a way-too-big sling for his arm on that side. I just rigged up a bandana for a sling instead. Within a week you could feel a lump where the bone was already growing back together. The doctor said after a couple of weeks the sling was just to remind my son and other people to be gentle with that arm/collarbone.

Cheryll
Cheryll
10 years ago

Back when my now-grown daughters were little, our local Mexican restaurant had “wienitos” on the kids’ menu. Yeah, you can well imagine how the additionof some Mexican sauce/spices really enhanced that night’s unexpected barf-o-rama. (also … did you do any geocaching at the cool cemeteries?)

Courtney
Courtney
10 years ago

My son (5yrs) has that with his migraine headaches. Although with both boys experiencing it within 24 hours,I’m going to venture my guess is a FAIL.

Donna
Donna
10 years ago

Going to go see cabin in the woods now, heard from another friend she hated it lol,i will be the deciding vote. the only times my kids did that was with migraines, too much msg in the hot dogs? Also I love cemeteries.

NancyB
NancyB
10 years ago

Yes – we’ve had single barf episodes before. Weird aren’t they?

MRW
MRW
10 years ago

Cheryll my god, are they evil? I can imagine few things more disgusting than barfing Mexican cuisine that includes hot dogs. Damn.

My son had the random barf last year – just like almost every other kid in his class. Was glad it was short lived, but it struck like lightening.

Eric's Mommy
10 years ago

My Son had the same thing the other day! My Husband had him out and he said he felt sick and puked 4 times out the truck window, next day he was fine.

Patty
Patty
10 years ago

My son had that when he was around first/second grade age. He would complain of a headache and fairly soon after would barf. We found that if we got him to tell us about the headache right away and gave him something, no barf. If not, brace yourself. We take him to the dr. or anything (parent fail or just hopeful thinking) and he just grew out of it. Yay for hopeful parental thinking!

Kristin
Kristin
10 years ago

I remember when you mentioned the hot dog barf incident in the car one time and how it is so totally gross cause they don’t break down. Sometimes, I personally feel kind of–bleh–after eating hot dogs and I think about what you said. What is the deal with those things!?

Brigid
10 years ago

OMG. I am the biggest barf-phobic person on the planet and we are, at this very moment about to feed my kids hot dogs. I may need to eat in the other room. Also, when one of my kids barfs, they are lucky to get anything other than crackers and sprite for the next 24 hours, let alone travel anywhere. Ha. I’m not right.

Lorraine
Lorraine
10 years ago

I (41 years old) have the Headache – Vomit – Nap – Feel Better episodes a few times a year. It’s over in about 6 hours, and I figure it’s always some kind of food poisoning.

Jill
10 years ago

TODAY! Headache, puke, mandatory sent home from school, requisite trip to pediatrician. And boinging off of the walls all the rest of the day.

And about the hot dogs. WORD. What is it about those suckers? I, too have picked hot dog particles out of the washing machine. And dog vomit mulch particles.

We should get paid for this.

Amy
Amy
10 years ago

OMG…weinie puke in the washer!! It’s a requirement of parenthood…you aren’t a real mom until you’ve experienced it :) We have had the puke and better the next day but I don’t recall a headache with it.

denese
denese
10 years ago

We saw The Barfing last weekend! My 3.5-year-old brought it home from preschool, passed it to the girl I babysit, then my husband. Somehow my 6-month-old and I avoided it. Germs are bad, mmmkay?

P.S. we had to move away from Eugene last summer (to BFE Astoria, Oregon, not so awesome) and I am SO JEALOUS of your upcoming move. Skinner’s Butte Park, Alton Baker Park, U of O football games, Dickie Jo’s, the schools…so so so jealous.

Rose
Rose
10 years ago

HAHA This made me LOL. You are very entertaining…I am glad I found your blog.

Sandy W
Sandy W
10 years ago

My son broke his collar bone when he was 4. The ER doctor gave us a brace, but told us in front of him that he didn’t need to wear it if he didn’t want to. He said it would heal fine either way. The only reason for the brace was to make it less painful. As soon as we got home. The brace came off and he healed just fine. My son argued that bathe doctor said he didn’t have to wear it if he didnt want to.

Marci
Marci
10 years ago

We just had that same bug in MA!

Kristen
Kristen
10 years ago

My daughter had an episode of ejecting tons of puke last night, just like Dilly. I’m hoping that it passes just as quickly as his.

billie
billie
10 years ago

I’m soon moving to WA. Where exactly are the graveyards? Anything particular that makes them interesting?

Leah
Leah
10 years ago

No his collarbone will be fine. Did they show you pictures of how it heals? The body creates a ball around the break and over time (years) the ball of whatever (not quite bone) elongates back out into the shape of the actual collarbone. Although I don’t think ever perfect. My daughter broke her collarbone last summer – it is the most common bone broken in children.

k
k
10 years ago

YES. A couple of weeks ago, my oldest (5yrs) had a friend from school come home with him to play. Had some lunch–PBJs, kids played, etc. Suddenly, kid says his “brain hurts.” I have him lie down and then decide that I should call his mom and just take him home early. Get the kids in the car and put him in one of the carseats because he’s super tiny. As I close the door, he looks kinda woozy, so I run to the kitchen to grab a barf bowl for the five minute max trip to his house. Before I can get back, my kids are yelling that the kid is puking. ALL OVER. All over my car, all over himself, and in every nook and cranny of that carseat (that has a mesh cover ew ew ew) (and which, come to find out, is non machine washable!! Who makes a carseat that you can’t wash?! Serves me right for not checking when I bought the thing, but I assumed….). Your own kid’s puke is disgusting, but someone else’s…well. I’m halfway through pregnancy and let’s just say that I can barely tolerate the smell of PBJs still. When I got the poor crying kid home, I took him to the door to talk to his mom and she seemed surprised I’d bring him home early (!!) and didn’t seem at all interested or concerned in getting him bathed or into clean clothes or anything. At that point, I didn’t know whether to feel worse for me or for the kid. He was at school the next day. The day after that, several classmates were not. Hmmmm.

Audrey
Audrey
10 years ago

We woke up to a SCREAMING two and half year old last Thursday morning. Turned out, she’d puked in her bed. She said she was coughing when it happened and I believe her because every time she’s coughed since then, she gets a very frightened look on her face. BAD MOM: I totally sent her to pre-school because she didn’t have any more vomiting, had milk and a snack, and was bouncing off the walls. And she was fine all that day.

lisa-marie
10 years ago

I used to live in Cle Elum – beautiful area!

KDA
KDA
10 years ago

I doubt this is what’s wrong, but my DH has a weird kind of vertigo, where if he’s flat on his back or his head is lower than his body, he’ll get a headache and then puke. He has to take anti-motion sickness before he goes to the dentist to prevent it. And the treatment? Valium! How great is that?

Gwen
Gwen
10 years ago

It’s a weird flu bug. It ALWAYS starts with the headache and the puking is over by the next day. But it is still AWFUL.

Joanne
10 years ago

My oldest two almost always get sick like that. I think it’s because they are so determined not to miss anything. My second child would go to preschool holding her head in her hand, I swear it.

E
E
10 years ago

That same virus passed through our entire 7-person family weekend before last. From first puker (the dad) to last (me) in almost exactly 24 hours. Not everyone had only a single puke, but at most a single clearing of the stomach – some were just more efficient than others.

Mo
Mo
10 years ago

Bacon pizza barf will also survive multiple cycles in the washing machine… *shudder*

Kate
10 years ago

My 4 year old got it too, exactly the same, puke for a few hours (at 3am) and then perfectly fine. I’m so glad we kept that little training potty, best puke bucket ever, sturdy and has a lid.

Maria
10 years ago

The Cabin in the Woods is the first movie in a LONG TIME (wait, since X-Men First Class so maybe I have no taste) that I’ve wanted to see in theaters again. LOVED it. So. Much.

Both my kids have had a barf ones all is well later thing once.