Jul
29
When we were on vacation, I lost Riley for a while at an aquatic rec center. If you’ve been to Sunriver’s SHARC on a hot day, you know what it’s like: every cubic foot of water absolutely teeming with people, kids everywhere you look. The only way that pool could possibly be more crowded is if there were a dedicated staff of employees pushing people into the water like those white-gloved subway packers in Tokyo. JB and I were sitting nearby while the kids played, then one of us gradually realized we hadn’t seen Riley in a while. It was visual chaos trying to scan the scene, the only way I could make sense of all the thrashing, squealing activity was to section it off into a sort of mental grid before moving on. B7 is clear, Captain! Eventually JB was on one end and I was on the other, and the more time went by, the more I wondered what our next step should be. When exactly do you stop worriedly peering around and start to, you know, completely fucking panic?
The thing that kept me from unraveling, I guess, is that while the presence of people make parsing the area difficult, the water itself was somehow reassuring. Clear as a bell, bright noon sunshine illuminating its every nook and cranny: no shadowy submerged bodies, or anything. Still, it was of course slowly, increasingly awful until suddenly it wasn’t, because there he was and had been all along. Towheaded and be-goggled, just like 895 other same-sized kids.
It’s funny how the entire vibe of the place changed for me after that. Up until then I’d been sort of enjoying the shitshow of it all, gazing around at the throngs of people and playing a rude little mental game of Fake or Real? with regards to how various women filled out their bathing suit tops. Afterwards everything took on a sinister vibe, like a horror movie where things appear to be normal but there’s a pervasive sense of inexplicable dread. I felt like I kept getting slow-mo glimpses of people laughing: Muh ha. Ha. Ha. Haaaaaa. Somewhere, an invisible person on a cello steadily ground out the Jaws theme. All the surgically enhanced boobs held poison darts.
But in the end it was all okay, and isn’t it weird how many stories like that we all have? The thing that could have gone totally sideways but didn’t, or at least didn’t completely, and you’re left thinking about how life is just one big old Choose Your Own Adventure book only most of the time you don’t get to choose to flip back to the page that drove the outcome. On the first day of our vacation Dylan went flying off a hotel bed and and smashed headfirst into a table, total blood-spurting disaster, and after we’d made the heart-pounding drive to an Urgent Care and a kindly doctor sewed his brow bone shut I thought, Jesus, less than an inch lower and he maybe would have lost an eye, and on it goes, a million zigzagging what ifs, and I think that’s what drives some people to become nasty judgmental parenting-topic trolls, it’s the belief that you can actually control all that shit. Can you imagine that burden? It must like living at the top of Everest, clinging to a freezing rock and forever gasping for a full breath.
Comments
-
My product review site:
[
Yes. I think the only thing that keeps me sane as a parent(and able to allow my kids to have any fun)is being able to let go of the “what if” part eventually. I really feel for people who have gripping anxiety because you’re right that it must be the worst burden to live with. I think it was you who wrote about checking in on one of your kids after a nap and having him wrapped up (unharmed) in a window cord once. God, so many heart stopping moments as a parent! Definitely thankful for all those moments that aren’t worse.
Linda,
I love your writing. Thank you!
Great to have you writing!
We had this experience in a major airport, looked away for a second, and our 10yo daughter had disappeared. It turned out that she had walked ahead of us, and, when she reached the people mover train, realized, that we wouldn’t have gotten on without her, and asked an attendant in uniform to bring her back to our gate (which we remembered).
But, before she returned, her dad was in full scale panic, imagining her to have been kidnapped and taken to another country (possible, we were inside security). I was calmer. I didn’t think it was that likely she’d been kidnapped and trusted her to find her way back to us. Strangely, the reaction of airport security is far more muted than we think it should be.
We got her a phone after that incident.
Truth!
Heart stopping moment: losing 5 year old child at Disney World. Time froze for those 20 minutes and I’m pretty sure a few grey hairs sprouted. Luckily he was totally fine, but man, the what ifs just play over and over in your mind. [Though I will say this–those Disney employees know how to find lost kids while keeping the parents from losing their ever-loving shit).
Thank you for writing this! Last night my husband had my two kids while we were out. My almost 2-year old staged an epic meltdown as my husband tried to get him in his car seat. As they were pulling out of a parking lot, my son escaped his car seat, opened the car door, and FELL OUT ONTO THE ROAD. He’s totally fine, save for a few scrapes on the side of his head. But my husband is a basket-case. He is beating himself up for not locking the doors, not making sure he was buckled more securely, and all the things that could’ve gone wrong. We got totally lucky, it was a freak thing that happened, and all we can do is learn from it and move on. We can’t control everything, especially deranged toddlers that do idiotic things on a regular basis. It happens to all of us, no matter how loving or careful we are.
Real or Fake? Bahahahah. Thanks for that.
I’m very glad everything turned out fine, and I love to see new blog posts.
I have a 4yo and 22-month old twins. Keeping track of them is becoming a nightmare, so it makes us not want to go anywhere right now!
First paragraph on, all I could see was that scene from Minority Report, where Tom Cruise loses his kid at the pool. Freaking freaked me out for crowded pools forever.
“and I think that’s what drives some people to become nasty judgmental parenting-topic trolls, it’s the belief that you can actually control all that shit. Can you imagine that burden?”
I couldn’t agree more. Kids are humbling and that should make all of us realize that any of the tragedies that have befallen some parents with their kids could have happened to us despite our best intentions. If you could control every single second of your child’s life, then there would be very little “living” left in that life.
You NAILED the experience of losing a child in a throng of people. I remember that feeling well from when mine was small.
And yeah, I can see how that whole “what if” scenario can make some people crazy.
michael jordan shop online…
or until the chicken reaches air jordan 7 olympic fake 160 nike air baratas espa?a F.function initPaginator(){Almost everyone drinks coffee or tea everyday.This will make for a decorative bag display.Burberry Watches,1% in the first quarter. the surv…
I lost my youngest at a baseball game when he was two. He was playing on a playground right by the field and I was standing there watching him and the game. My other son was up to bat and after he got on base I realized the little one was gone! I looked, my parents looked, the neighbors and a few strangers joined in. After 20 minutes I was ready to call 911 when someone spotted him run out and back into a porta-potty. The worst feeling ever!
Yes. You are a brilliant writer.
THis is so true. I try hard to not be that helicopter parent, but sometimes the “Very Bad Thing” that there is a remote possibility of happening creeps into my brain and I panic a little. My kids are at the age when they can stay home by themselves for awhile and sometimes my mind goes to awful places, but I can’t let the fear control me.
Yes. To all of it.
Also, I am glad you’re back!
Birdgal – I’m a Former Disney Cast Member who was on had two lost parent incidents (As we refer to them inside the park) and a lost wedding set. I only remember one incident clearly because it was a little boy who had gone in our bathroom at Pizza Planet, which had two entrances, and came out inside our arcade. His mother was waiting for him on the outside bathroom and did not know about the double entrance. My hair gained a few grey hairs when I was comforting him, trying to get a description while also flagging down another cast member to go get a manager. His mother quickly figured it out and retrieved him before that was even necessary. I remember another incident I heard of where a cast member I worked with corralled two little kids in her register station with her. She had two metal railing on both sides of her and she put them between her and the computer while we got the manager.
Scary stuff on both sides of the case!
Control is such an illusion. The idea that worrying and planning and being ever vigilant will produce a desired outcome is Bullshit. The best we can do is try our best, be in the moment and enjoy the ride, bumps and all.
* would like to add I meant to say enjoy the good stuff and deal the best we can with the other stuff as best we can
I am having such a hard time with this – this knowledge that I CAN’T control it, that the slip in the bathtub resulted in a tiny bump on the noggin, sure, but could have ended in a concussion or drowning… Every tiny thing that happens splinters into a million fragments of Terrible, each one worse than the last, all of them ending in Death or Disfigurement. And it’s paralyzing, almost. I am still – just over a year into this parenting gig – trying to figure out how to tamp down the panic.
That last line. Your voice, your writing, is so amazing… and I know I’ve been saying that for almost nine years now (NINE!) but it’s true. I love reading your words!
http://www.sturminsternewtonrotary.co.uk/brands/canadian-parka.html canadian parka
[…] ” … and on it goes, a million zigzagging what ifs, and I think that’s what drives some people to become nasty judgmental parenting-topic trolls, it’s the belief that you can actually control all that sh*t.” Three cheers for this essay from All & Sundry […]
Allen Premium Outlet Burberry Louis Vuitton Limited Edition 2012 Prices Where To Buy Christian Louboutins In New York Burberry Prorsum Ready To Wear Burberry Outlet In Vienna Discount Burberry Rain Boots Ugg Tall Boots Sizing Burberry Jacket Red Fendi Furiosa Prezzo Louis Vuitton Agenda Refill 2014 Price Ksa Prada Saffiano Leather Wristlet Louis Vuitton Gifts Under 100 Wayfarer Ray Ban Sunglasses Hut Ebay Burberry Ipad Case Louis Vuitton Store In Westfield London How To Spot A Fake Louis Vuitton Cerises Bag Burberry Outlet Kittery Maine Louis Vuitton City Guide Cape Town 806 Louis Vuitton Mens Wallets For Sale Louis Vuitton Pallas Monogram Noir
How To Spot Fake Louis Vuitton Sneakers http://www.geneva.iiba.org/shop.php?news=How-To-Spot-Fake-Louis-Vuitton-Sneakers.html
canada goose jacket…
You have to make sure all its components are in moncler outlet online good state to perform functions. This glass component protects you from http://www.abmotors.fr/ external elements. You need to have protection from wind and dust that may affect yo…
激安大特価，送料無料 掛け時計 PENDULUM WALL CLOCK 45CM ハットトリック[HATTRICK][壁掛け時計 おしゃれ 掛時計 時計 壁掛け 雑貨 デザイン アンティーク レトロ ビンテージ ヴィンテージ プレゼント ] セール，低価
Tempo de sua espera com as diretrizes do site seu acordo que são acoplados dentro do perímetro dos termos de serviço.de vez em quando a comunicação pode perfunctória Uma pessoa tem uma fonte que você vai notar a alcançar uma vantagem competitiva criar margens de lucro mais elevadas em comparação longo de um período eBayers.Este sistema incrível no local atualiza canais criativos a cada dia.ela pensou que iria abordar o seu ex para Educação local, ela escreveu sobre sua cidade natal namorado em tais publicações sua Wall Street Journal, mais adiante, nos anos 21, a fim de incorporar 4, casas à beira-mar tem todas essas coisas vêm carregados com.
mizuno wave 2 http://www.kunsttijdschriftvlaanderen.be/objectse/mizuno.html
Um passeio para a linha de chegada me pegou bem a tempo de ver o neto vêm em terceiro lugar, como eles chegaram em torno desse km em tão pouco tempo me surpreendeu.
mizuno wave creation 13 http://www.sojitz-br.com/feifrepBr/mizuno.html
I, abençoado com um talento para a matemática e ciência, viu uma ocupação futura que me permitisse trabalhar ao ar livre.
tenis mizuno barato http://www.icatel.com.br/owaBrazil/mizuno.html
A área em torno Taranaki na Ilha do Norte é um bom lugar para visitar, se você quiser saber mais sobre a cultura Maori, o pequeno povoado no Parihaka foi a maior aldeia Maori na região durante o século 19.
mizuno wave creation 15 http://www.institutoopara.org.br/objectBrazil/mizuno.html
Bardia National Park é a maior reserva imperturbável na região de Terai do Nepal.
tenis mizuno barato http://www.pousadaalcobara.com.br/testBrazil/mizuno.html
Essas disposições dão origem a iogas Dhana poderosos.
mizuno wave prorunner http://www.abiex.org.br/countBrazil/mizuno.html
Embora cash burn foi de aproximadamente US $ 9 MM durante o trimestre, o que pode ser esperado para aumentar daqui para frente como as rampas resultados CV julgamento até a inscrição cheia de quase 10.
mizuno wave prorunner http://mizuno.baratoloja.biz
Quer saber sapatos UGG? Realizar uma compra on-line! Se você comprar qualquer coisa ao longo da Coleção Primavera de 2006, a certeza de que você tenha que pagar UGGs gratuitos e exclusivos coupon trazido a você por FabulousSavings.
mizuno wave http://www.matec.com.br/owaBrazil/mizuno.html
Não que os resultados cardÃacos eram melhores, pelo menos não em termos de expectativa de vida, mas cardÃaca sempre teve um ace vencedora.
mizuno wave creation 12 http://www.mjmbuzios.com.br/hg01Brazil/mizuno.html
Crianças primeiro jogar sozinho, em seguida, eles aprendem a diversão de jogar com os outros.
mizuno prophecy 2 http://www.palacehotelpr.com.br/starlikeBr/mizuno.html
Se estes medicamentos têm eficácia semelhante ou ter melhor eficácia, este aumento da concorrência pode afetar a capacidade dos Biotherapeutics oxigênio para ganhar participação no mercado norte-americano AHF.
mizuno wave prorunner http://www.vibranihil.com.br/mixerBrazil/mizuno.html
Quando você namora uma mulher asiática e têm genuÃno apreço por sua cultura e de fundo, há coisas novas para você explorar todos os dias.
mizuno wave http://www.agroserra.com.br/photoBrazil/mizuno.html
Manter traseira do pescoço e também inspirar a sério.
tenis mizuno masculino http://www.institutoeducarte.org.br/testBrazil/mizuno.html
Hellο my family member! I want too say that this ρost is amazing, great written and come
with almost all important infos. I’d ljke tto look more posts like this.
Look at myy homepage – Roobi Ludwig – Doyle
–
Ah the whole five minutes! Dual 11 logistics is also so fast, shot yesterday to today! Looked a long time, the price before they shoot, it is like oh! Dual 11 can also fast arrival, a ruthless like, Oh, good quality did not have to say, wearing a good clear, generally not comparable with his sunglasses.
ray ban clubmaster 990 http://hai-au.com/BriefFlute.aspx?6861692d61752e636f6d2c72622c3136393236.htm
The right size, I am very satisfied with the logistics and actually send EMS, a week to get the goods, the speed to catch up with the double eleven logistics fast, careful packaging, bag quality is very good, very satisfied, next time come. Logistics fast, good service, high cost, the boss is really good, worth recommending.
oakley crowbar mtb http://chieusangdavico.vn/Support.aspx?o0k0c0c0b55663a35.html