Nov

28

More short cuts

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I’ve ordered our family holiday cards, a process that always seems like one of the Seasonal Big Bosses. Every year I toy with the idea of choosing self-love and skipping the MF card but I always talk myself into it; this year I had the thought that this would be our LAST card with Riley at home so obviously it needed to happen. I’ve been going with a collage option the last several years because we never have one terrific group shot, we did get this picture at Thanksgiving but aside from my prominent forehead vein (obvs feeling super relaxed and breezy!!!) the fact that the kids TOWER over us now is just kinda comical. It’s giving Bidens/Carters in the Oval Office.

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One of my prior workplaces (where I did not feel very recognized for my contributions) is quite clearly writing every blog post via ChatGPT now, which vaguely pleases me. Marketing writers, who needs ‘em? Your brand does, bucko, because all-LLM copy is LLAMESAUCE.

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Update on my toxic morning routine: I stopped taking magnesium glycinate at night and I think it is helping a bit. My theory is that part of the stressy feelings have to do with Imminent Poop Feelings. I also bought a SAD lamp (specifically a “Verilux® HappyLight® Lumi Plus Light Therapy Lamp with 10,000 Lux of UV-Free, LED, full-spectrum light”) and so my oh-dark-thirty coffee-and-phone-scrolling habit now includes being visually assaulted with a very bright rectangle. No noticeable effects so far, although I do feel more alert/awake right afterward.

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This is random but if you personally have been on the fence about an Apple Watch, I heartily endorse it. I’ve had mine for 18+ months or so and I can honestly say it changed my relationship with fitness. Getting in my workouts each day feels non-negotiable to me now, which partially has to do with my studio — having a place to myself has been a game-changer when it comes to exercise at home — but is also the result of habit-building through the watch. I feel like the ability to call something a workout and then observe your own heart rate throughout is incredibly freeing: truly, anything can be a workout. You don’t need a video or a class or even a single piece of equipment to build strength and cardio endurance.

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I have entered my Birding Era. And by “birding” I don’t mean “going around with binoculars and a notebook and maybe a pith helmet” because that sounds like a real hobby, and what I’m into is more like, “dumping entire bags of peanuts on my studio deck and watching the absolute fucking CHAOS that ensues.” It all started with a crow fascination (yes from TikTok) and has expanded to other semi-obnoxious birds, specifically Steller’s Jays and Scrub Jays. They’re braver than the crows and will come to my deck any time as long as I’m putting out the feed, and I love them so much. The Steller’s jays are the boldest (also they imitate a hawk’s cry which is amazing), but the Scrub jays are my favorite – their sleek smart heads remind me of tiny velociraptors. I get a lot of squirrels, too, which are always wildly cute and cheery to observe as long as you don’t overly focus on their hella-creepy toes.

Nov

6

Smol Ketchups

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Well, it is both distressing and somewhat bolstering to know that I’m not the only one in an early-AM Doom Loop. I really loved Swistle’s comment: At least tomorrow I can think from my nest: here we are, all together.

(The same day I read that, I was driving through campus here in town and saw a student with a sweatshirt that read: At least we’re all under the same moon. I remember that very specifically because this girl and her hoodie and my associated thoughts of communal experiences gave me Hot Welling-Eyeball Feelings, and right afterwards I saw a man holding an old greying-muzzle dog like a baby, waiting to cross a busy road, and I found myself doing a little gasp-sob right out loud: *watery inhale* “Oh!” I mean, isn’t it something how the world can still just reach out and grab you by the heart.)

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I’m currently snurfling my way through what feels like my millionth head cold in the last couple years. I used to feel like I had a fairly robust immune system but now if either one of my kids even emits a single cough I’m like GOD FUCKING DAMMIT because I know my future: whatever brief sickness they have, I will magnify and lengthen it. I get the Extended Remix version, feat. DJ 12DaysofMucus. My ability to fight off your basic rhinovirus has apparently departed along with my marketing appeal as a target demographic.

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Riley just completed the early admission process for Dartmouth. (Wow, what a sentence to write here in my mommy blog.) This is his longest-shot school and I have Very Big Complicated Feelings about the possibility that he might get accepted. He should find out in a couple months and then the focus may change to other possibilities and other academic priorities.

Senior year, college applications, SATs, homecoming, prom. None of these things are experiences I can relate to. Maybe some of you don’t know this about me: I left school very early, my sophomore year. I got my GED but I missed out on pretty much all the classic high school moments, except maybe the general teen combo-plate feeling of ennui/crushing self-consciousness/superiority.

I don’t think this makes me a lesser parent, but it surely makes me a less knowledgable one at this stage. I really can’t offer much from my own experience in the way of useful advice or guidance. Then again, I’m not sure most teenagers are actually looking to hear about how their parents totally get it because they did a semi-similar thing 30+ years ago?

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Dylan recently finished his first year playing football, as a sophomore. I’m crazy proud of him for coming in as a new player (I feel like most football kids have been training since kindergarten??) and putting in the hard work all season. Football is definitely a whole different beast than any other youth sport and the commitment and community involvement is ummm intense, but I think it was so good for him. Now if only I could manage to get my brain to understand anything about football aside from the basics (everyone wants the toy), because whether I’m watching his team or the NFL the same thing happens every time: