Nov

6

Smol Ketchups

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Well, it is both distressing and somewhat bolstering to know that I’m not the only one in an early-AM Doom Loop. I really loved Swistle’s comment: At least tomorrow I can think from my nest: here we are, all together.

(The same day I read that, I was driving through campus here in town and saw a student with a sweatshirt that read: At least we’re all under the same moon. I remember that very specifically because this girl and her hoodie and my associated thoughts of communal experiences gave me Hot Welling-Eyeball Feelings, and right afterwards I saw a man holding an old greying-muzzle dog like a baby, waiting to cross a busy road, and I found myself doing a little gasp-sob right out loud: *watery inhale* “Oh!” I mean, isn’t it something how the world can still just reach out and grab you by the heart.)

:::

I’m currently snurfling my way through what feels like my millionth head cold in the last couple years. I used to feel like I had a fairly robust immune system but now if either one of my kids even emits a single cough I’m like GOD FUCKING DAMMIT because I know my future: whatever brief sickness they have, I will magnify and lengthen it. I get the Extended Remix version, feat. DJ 12DaysofMucus. My ability to fight off your basic rhinovirus has apparently departed along with my marketing appeal as a target demographic.

:::

Riley just completed the early admission process for Dartmouth. (Wow, what a sentence to write here in my mommy blog.) This is his longest-shot school and I have Very Big Complicated Feelings about the possibility that he might get accepted. He should find out in a couple months and then the focus may change to other possibilities and other academic priorities.

Senior year, college applications, SATs, homecoming, prom. None of these things are experiences I can relate to. Maybe some of you don’t know this about me: I left school very early, my sophomore year. I got my GED but I missed out on pretty much all the classic high school moments, except maybe the general teen combo-plate feeling of ennui/crushing self-consciousness/superiority.

I don’t think this makes me a lesser parent, but it surely makes me a less knowledgable one at this stage. I really can’t offer much from my own experience in the way of useful advice or guidance. Then again, I’m not sure most teenagers are actually looking to hear about how their parents totally get it because they did a semi-similar thing 30+ years ago?

:::

Dylan recently finished his first year playing football, as a sophomore. I’m crazy proud of him for coming in as a new player (I feel like most football kids have been training since kindergarten??) and putting in the hard work all season. Football is definitely a whole different beast than any other youth sport and the commitment and community involvement is ummm intense, but I think it was so good for him. Now if only I could manage to get my brain to understand anything about football aside from the basics (everyone wants the toy), because whether I’m watching his team or the NFL the same thing happens every time: