Aug
12
I’ve often joked about Dylan’s epic temper tantrums—remember the dog hair?—but I guess I never thought he was particularly out of the ordinary in this regard. Some kids are prone to tantrums, some aren’t, right? But probably most are. That’s why they call it terrible twos, after all.
Yesterday, however, when JB picked him up from school and Dylan was in the midst of some angry tirade about god knows what, his teacher confessed that no one in class tantrumed quite like Dylan. She said it lovingly and with a rueful shaking head, but still. You don’t like to hear that it’s your kid who’s the very best at being very bad, you know?
He get so furious, so upset about the stupidest toddler-sized things, and I know that’s par for the course. 2-year-olds go all Naomi Campbell at the drop of a hat because that’s how they’re wired: with a jumble of frayed, sparking electronics half-submerged in water.
They may lose their shit when faced with the terrible injustice of having to wear shoes, but they’ll go equally ballistic with joy over spotting a squirrel outside. Toddlers are binary creatures and they pretty much either suck or are awesome, with few in-betweens. I know this.
Ah, but still. I feel this creeping sense of failure. Why is it my kid who’s top of the class in shit-losing? What are we doing wrong that he can’t be calmed out of a tantrum, that we’re at his mercy until he’s goddamned well decided to be done?
We try distractions, soothing. We lose our own tempers and yell. We send him to his room. In the end, nothing really helps but time.
Afterwards he wants to be hugged, he buries his little wet face in our necks. It’s like we forget he isn’t in control, in those maddening minutes. We can’t seem to help him get control.
Meanwhile, I worry about my boy Riley, whose reactions to getting hurt are equally epic in sheer energy expenditure. The screaming, the flailing, his crazymaking refusal to allow comfort. Later, the giant damp eyes, the quiet, and my fearful wonder of whether or not we made the situation worse with our own frustration and impatience.
Different issues, same loss of control. Same inability to cope. Same parental bumbling—what do I do, what do I do, what do I do. Ultimately, the parents end up in the same place as the children: operating by emotion, filled with regret afterwards.
And how ridiculous it is, how stupid and painful to admit that I have this hope or expectation that they can learn to control themselves better—when I can’t seem to do it myself.
Aug
11
I love it when someone tells me about their recent music obsessions, so on the off chance you love it too, here’s what’s been on nonstop play in my ear-holes lately:
Sea Wolf, “You’re a Wolf”
Pandora served up this song the other day and I instantly bought it. It’s just sort of wonderfully perfect in every way. The harmonizing makes my hair tingle.
Mumford & Sons, “The Cave”
I have AndreAnna to thank for my complete and total addiction to Mumford & Sons. I don’t even know how to describe them—sort of bluegrassy, but not twangy, and deep and lush and will give you goosebumps and you’ll just replay their stuff over and over and over and over. If you only listen to two songs, I recommend “The Cave” and “White Blank Page”.
Phantogram, “Mouthful of Diamonds”
I like this whole album but “Mouthful of Diamonds” stands out. Sparkly and gorgeous and takes you somewhere lovely when you listen.
Fujiya & Miyagi, “Collarbone”
I dare you to listen to this song without your head moving back and forth. No. It is impossible. Your argument is invalid.
Ratatat, “Loud Pipes”
I have no idea how I stumbled across this song but MAN is it great. No singing, just this weird and awesome mashup of guitars and electronica. Instant favorite.
Broken Bells, “The Ghost Inside”
Broken Bells is a guy from The Shins and another guy from Gnarls Barkley and Gorillaz, or something like that? Whatever it is, it’s awesome.
Arcade Fire, “Rococo”
You bought The Surburbs, right? There’s a review on iTunes that says “I feel like the double rainbow guy listening to this album” which I totally get. So far this song sticks out as my favorite, but the whole thing is amazing.
Sleigh Bells, “Treats”
Sleigh Bells makes a hell of a lot of noise for two people, it’s aggro and ear-bleeding and somehow tender all at once. You will probably either love or hate this.
La Roux, “Bulletproof”
Pure pop candy, dance-y and butt-shakey.
Moon Sountrack, “Welcome to Lunar Industries”
And now for something completely different: the first track off the Moon album. Haunting and kind of orgasmically beautiful and builds to an unforgettable crescendo a couple minutes in. If you haven’t seen the movie, you should check that out too.
I hope you enjoy some of these as much as I have been. Feel free to share back some of your recent favorites, okay?
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