Jun
21
I am not normally a crafty motherfucker nor am I particularly clever when it comes to entertaining the kids, so you’ll have to forgive me for a bit of bragging when I say to you: BEHOLD THE BEST IDEA IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, EVER.
You start with a kid’s table that the kids rarely use and you get yourself two fabric-covered bins from Target. Drill those guys right into either side of the table, like so.
These are now Lego containment devices. It’s all official and shit. This is where the Legos go, instead of sprinkled festively across the carpet or painfully lodged in the instep of your right foot.
Go for broke and get the real blocks, not those big clunky Duplos. Tell your toddler that if he eats one, he’s going to have to crap it out like a MAN.
Sit back and crack open a book during daylight hours for the first time in five years, because hot damn, these kids are set.
Of course then the 4-year-old will start whining because the 2-year-old took Legos from HIS side and the 2-year-old will be crying because the 4-year-old built a helicopter and won’t let the 2-year-old break it and the bins will be bendier than you expected so they’ll start hanging at an angle and you’ll still be cleaning trillions of Legos from the couch cushions and kitchen table and oddly, your underwear drawer, and fine, maybe it wasn’t actually the best idea in the history of the universe when you consider things like the Polio vaccine and cheddar-pizza Combos . . . but for like two whole minutes there you will feel like a parenting GOD.
Jun
20
I’m convinced, or maybe desperately hopeful is the right term, that a few days in a row of good weather will burn my bad mood away like morning fog, but holy shit have we ever been shortchanged on anything resembling a spring here in Seattle. We seem to get maybe one day of sunshine every week and a half or so, then kerblam, it’s back to overcast skies and chilly temperatures. I looked up the symptoms for Seasonal Affective Disorder—you know, SAD, as in sad face, call the wahmbulance—and nodded in grim recognition.
Difficulty waking up in the morning? Check. Craving for carbohydrates? If that means “all-encompassing need to cram sugary/starchy foods in my complain-hole 24 hours a day”, then CHECK. Lack of energy? Hang on, let me just swill the last of this Red Bull . . . check. Difficulty concentrating? Wait, huh? Oh I mean check.
Dude! I’m totally SAD. The most privileged of the depressions: “Oh, I’m sad about clouds.” It’s like a Stuff White People Are Sad About disease.
In truth I’m in a tail-chasing mode about a number of things lately, but I swear the sun took my coping skills when it decided to disappear for half of May and all of fucking June. When you live in the Northwest you know you’re in for a long rainy season every year, but the reason we don’t all hurl ourselves from bridges is because eventually it gets NICE again. That’s how it’s supposed to work, anyway.
We had a break in the rain on Friday and while JB was at work and the boys were at school I headed for the woods in hopes of clearing some of the cruft from my brain. I spent three hours hiking around and exploring new trails and I didn’t see another soul while I was out there. It was pretty much exactly what I needed.
Here’s hoping the sun comes back again soon. I’m sick of being SAD. Also, my wardrobe budget can’t afford for me to keep eating these here medicinal cookies.
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