Archives from 2002-2006

Jun

7

5 things

I have questions. Hopefully, you have answers. Let’s go.

1) I was a big fan of Bare Minerals makeup for years, until recently when I noticed the powder had started . . . settling, sort of, into my newly-acquired wrinkly areas. Plus, it was making me very shiny, and not in the Firefly use of the word. I switched to Laura Mercier’s “oil free flawless face kit”, and I’m sorry to report the results were neither oil free nor flawless. Worse, the rosacea that I haven’t seen since I stopped drinking over five years ago is creeping back, which, what the fuck? So I need a good makeup recommendation for 30-something, oily, rosacea-prone skin, please. Bonus if it doesn’t cost a trillion dollars.

2) I loved The Hunger Games/Catching Fire and I liked The Forest of Hands and Teeth, so what else should I be reading in the world of dystopian YA fiction?

3) This week I have to give a presentation as part of my final nutrition class project. Here are some things I’d rather do than give a presentation: hammer a rusty nail through my foot. Kiss Spencer Pratt on the mouth. Listen to forty straight hours of Bob Dylan. EAT A LIVE SPIDER. Do you have any public speaking tips that will prevent uncontrolled terrified urination on my part? Like picturing your audience naked, except, you know, something that actually works?

4) Have any of you ever dealt with a kid who won’t accept help when he hurts himself? When Riley scrapes his knee or whatever, he often loses his shit and howls “NOOOO!” over and over, refusing to let us even approach him. It’s like he just goes into a panic. It’s one thing when that happens at home, but if it happens while we’re out—like if he crashes and burns in a store while doing his patented Look Back Over One Shoulder While Running Full Speed Ahead maneuver—I feel at a total loss with no idea how to calm him down or at least bring the Dramatic Public Scene to a close. Usually we just end up totally frustrated with him, which seems like the worst case scenario for everyone. Any ideas for how to help him get past this stage?

5) This last one isn’t really a question, I just wanted to show you the kids’ school photos, which finally came back. Man, pleasantly surprised doesn’t even cover it. I could look at these all day long, cheesy fake fence and all.

215 Comments

Jun

5

Grass

Somewhere . . . maybe close, maybe far away. I hear it. I almost feel that I can always hear it, you know. In my dreams.

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The situation requires vigilance. Constant vigilance. The moment I stop looking, that’s when it’ll come to get me. As I’ve always known it would.

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Well, I can’t lie. Things don’t seem good. In fact, things seem very, very bad. It’s definitely out there. Probably we should lock the doors. And arm ourselves.

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