Sep
17
September 17, 2006
Regarding my hideous-hair problem, you guys have awesome ideas as usual. I’ll let you know if something ends up helping; failing that, I’ll be sure to post photos of my Natalie Portman-esque pixie cut.
(Yeah, right. I haven’t had super short hair since I was a pre-teen and someone mistook me for a BOY. Scarred for life, I’m telling you…)
We did some more geocaching this weekend, which was totally enjoyable. There are two things I really like about geocaching: one, you tend to discover brand new-to-you areas – parks and trails and cool little nooks and crannies – while you’re hunting down a cache; and two, the idea that your very own neighborhood is full of hidden treasures, objects that wait patiently for discovery under leaves and rocks, that are just out of view, that you could walk by a hundred times and never know of their location, is sort of…beautiful? In some cheesy kind of way? Like the world is full of everyday magic and you just have to look for it. Yeah, like that.
This is a hobby with a fairly high nerd element. Lots of cache descriptions involve puzzles that you have to decipher before you can even get the GPS coordinates. Also, people who might be in a park where you’re looking for a cache, who are not fellow geocachers, are referred to as muggles. (And now I cannot believe I typed that “everyday magic” sentence. Pardon me and my twelve-sided die.) Muggles are NOT to be trusted with a cache’s location. Basically, if someone sees you picking up a cache, you have to kill them with your bare hands. It’s recommended that you gouge out their eyes first with your thumbs, that way even if they survive, they can’t make their way back to the cache. Then you lurk, drooling, over the cache and hiss “presssshhhuuss” at anyone who passes by.
So, as you can see it’s quite involved. Plus, in our case there’s the whole getting the boy in and out of the carseat and the backpack aspect, which is kind of tiring after a while, which is why I personally endorse having several Starbucks pitstops during your geocaching outings, especially if they offer Top Pot chocolate donuts.
I hope you are not able to sleuth out the cache locations from these photos, because my eye-gouging skills are seriously not up to par.
In other weekend events:
Cat was acting suspiciously, prowling around a bush in the front yard, and on closer inspection…
…we discovered a very small, terrified mouse clinging for dear life. We helped it escape, but as long as she/he hangs around, I think his/her days are numbered, especially since we found this just a couple hours earlier. God, it’s like “CSI: MOUSEAMI” out there.
Sep
16
September 16, 2006
World’s most piteous child.
Post-magazine-shopping at the local used bookstore. I am mildly disturbed by how accurately this little tableau sums up our overall household demographic.
Also! New shoes, as the Shoe Pavilion is right next door to Half Price Books. Best strip mall ever.
The boys, hanging out in the backyard.
Mr. Goonyface messing around in the new bathroom.
And poking the shower pan.
Okay! And now the reason for this sorry excuse for a journal entry; I need your advice. Check this out:
Man, that is some nasty, dried-out, flyaway, craptrocious hair, is it not?
And that’s after I tamed it as much as possible with a blowdryer, flatiron, “grooming cream”, and spray-on shiner in the morning. Don’t bother telling me to give up the heavy machinery, because I’ve got freakshow hair that’s super curly underneath and limp as a pre-Viagra Hugh Hefner on the outer layers, letting it dry naturally results in a giant fluff of madness that I promise looks even worse than this photo.
I want straight, shiny, undamaged hair, goddammit. I want hair that looks like those Pantene ads, flowing liquidly all over the place and gleaming like a well-fed mink.
But I would happily settle for an improvement on this crap. Do you guys have any suggestions? Miracle salves? Home remedies involving mayonnaise? Or should I just hack it all off and start over?
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