December 4, 2006

This evening before Riley went to bed, JB and I sat with him and looked at a picture book together. Riley proceeded to blow my goddamned mind by correctly identifying a duck, bunny, baby, car, ball, and jacket. We’d say it, and he would point to it.

My kid is learning stuff. Holy shit.

I guess I am purely shocked by the fact that Riley is becoming a little person rather than a bundle of misfiring synapses. It’s not like I didn’t know his brain would eventually be capable of more complicated actions than telling his butt to poop for the fifth time in one day, but seeing it firsthand is something else. The disconnect between his verbal skills (“ba pa”, “ba ba”, “da!”, and just recently, O THANK YOU JEBUS, “Ma ma”) and what he’s apparently able to understand is huge, it’s hard to remember that just because he can’t say it, it doesn’t mean he does’t get it. Also, I can’t believe he knows what a flipping bunny is.


I bet daycare’s been teaching him about bunnies. Note to self: inform daycare there will be no learning from now on, because it is freaking me out. (Unless they want to take care of this whole potty training business I’ve got to look forward to. In that case, let the learning commence!)

So, Riley’s current status is as follows:

• Can point to bunny
• Still calls bunny a “ba”
• Lots of things are “ba”s
• Is able to process cooked carrot cubes through entire digestive system without altering appearance of carrot
• Mostly uses a bottle still because his parents are bad people
• Randomly removed pants the other day and tossed them from crib, horrifying his mother who has visions of that happening with a DIAPER oh my god oh my god
• Greatly enjoys psycho new game involving lots of pretend chasing and foot-stomping
• Also, is very loud
• So, so loud
• Falls down on head at least twice a day
• Likes to imitate me saying “Boom!” by saying “Mummm!”
• Loves to gag on his own finger, which, what, is he brain damaged from all that head-falling, or what?
• Dances like Axl Rose (!)
• Flops his hands around on his wrists like a total WEIRDO
• Gives hugs (aww)

As for me?

• Have new car


I got a new car, you guys. It’s a 2004 Touareg, and I love it so much it’s embarrassing. We’d been saving up money and looking at different models (I wanted an SUV-type rig for ferrying around the Suctopus and also because I am basically a boring-ass soccer mom now) and on Sunday we found this car and the dealership gave us a good price for trading in my Corolla and whoomp, here it is:


My mother gave me my Corolla in 1997 (surely the best and most used present anyone has ever given me, ever) (I guess there was that whole gift of life, too) (and a myriad of other things, actually. I think I owe my mom a kidney or three) and I’ve driven that ever since; this is the first car I’ve ever bought. It is outstandingly awesome, and I am so, so, so excited.

In fact, I wish we could all go for a ride in it right this minute. I’d heat your seat for you and everything.


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17 years ago

I bought my very first NEW car shortly after my divorce (up until then, I had only bought USED cars). The car salesWOMAN asked me, “What color would you like?” and I almost cried.

“You mean I get to PICK the COLOR!?!?” (Mineral Green Toyota Camry, by the way).

So, congrats on the NEW CAR, even though it proves you are a FLAMING LIBERAL, buying a Volkswagen and all…

(so says a Loyal Reader who also happens to vote like a “Good Republican” but secretly toys with the idea of buying a Volkswagen just because she likes their commercials…)

17 years ago

I too have a sweet ride! It’s a 97 sentra in a delicious shade of teal rust, and sports such amenities as: three windows (two and a half of which roll down), an engine that only leaks oil in a slow drip, random art (actually paint from a half gallon that toppled over while at work), and a heater that, believe it or not, belches out piping hot air after only a few minutes of driving, even on the coldest mornings (30 degrees) and only faintly smells of mildew and passenger vomit. I’ve been thinking about upgrading to rollerskates, but can’t fit it into my budget right now.

Jeffrey Leachman
17 years ago

Google is the best search engine


[…] did a “ +car +Touareg” search in google and came up with this post:Bunnies and Wheels […]

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