January 19, 2007

Oh my god oh my god there has been a terrorist attack on Seattle someone has filled birds with explosive devices and they are killing hundreds of people maybe thousands oh please god save us —

eagle.jpg

Uh…wait. Oh, sorry. God, I’m sorry about that. It turns out there’s just…yeah, there’s just kind of a shitload of eagles hanging out on the Skagit River. Wow, I got that one wrong. Man, it’s almost like the local TV news consistently relies on hilariously worded title graphics for their stories, or something.

(See also: “ARCTIC BLAST REAMS SEATTLE’S CITY-HOLE”.)

So hi! How are you? Apparently I need to inform you that JB’s underwear is not, in fact, a pair of manties, but rather is a beefy, studly, macho pair of boxer-briefs. Why, these boxer-briefs are so goddamn manly, they come with a pack of Malboros and the inability to ask for directions. These boxer-briefs refuse to discuss their feelings, they won’t hold a woman’s purse even for a blow job, and when they’re pissing in a public urinal, they lean over to the guy next to them and say, “Water sure is cold today.”

There. I believe I’ve done my duty.

It’s hard to believe the week is basically over already. The snow has mostly transformed to dirty slush and melted away, at least in my neighborhood, and dashed my hopeful plans of a bucolic sledding activity this weekend. Instead, I imagine JB and I will putter around the house with the boy, take turns letting the other person go do something unfettered and childless (JB’s likely choice: scuba diving; mine: oh, I don’t know, basically anything that doesn’t involve submerging myself in water in the middle of fucking winter and breathing air through a TUBE, jesus), and probably hit the drive-through Starbucks at least twice, because that’s how we roll.

Your turn! For I do so love to live vicariously through you. What do your weekend plans include?

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Denise V.
Denise V.
17 years ago

I’m WAY excited about my weekend plans (usually not so much):
#1—My cousin is an air-evac nurse in the Air Force and is stationed in Japan—two years into a three year assignment. She is coming home for the first time since they left and I am over the moon giddy with excitement. She gave me a kidney six years ago this week and so you might say we’re pretty close! Now that is really an awesome cousin for you.
#2—Sunday I’m going to watch my Indianapolis Colts whip up on the Patriots right here in our fair city—well, we hope that’s what happens.
Enjoy your weekend,
Denise in Indianapolis
(Sundry reader since ’04)

Bianca
17 years ago

Tonight I’m going to see Babel with my boyfriend and I think he’s taking me out to dinner first so I’ll most likely be putting out afterwards. (Hey, you asked!)

Anyhow, Saturday it’s San Francisco Farmer’s market at the Embarcadero and after that FAN FEST at AT&T Park! Woot!

Beyond that I have no plans. Another attempt at cleaning most likely. Finish up King Dork and start Middlesex.

ElizabethZ
17 years ago

Leaving the twins w/ my parents and my hubby and I have a DATE – woohoo – probably just playing pool and getting stinkin which is usually followed by all kinda hot sex. Sorry if that TMI. LOL. That will be the highlight of the weekend.

Have a bday party for my 80 year old great aunt Saturday night – what a let down that will be after Friday night eh?

Anyway – MANTIES – that is fuckin hilarious. My hubby still has a couple pairs that I haven’t wrangled to the trash and replaced with boxer briefs, my personal fave. I am so going to use that the next time he wears a pair. I think I may just be able to pry the last of them from his grasp. Muhahahah.

Thanks :)

Her Ladyship
17 years ago

Ah, I do love the boxer-briefs. Well-played to JB. As for my weekend plans, tonight I’m setting up my personal trainer and another friend of mine. I know, you’re never supposed to set up friends, but hey – their social circles don’t cross now, so if things go awry, they never have to see each other again. And I get to bask in the glow of having done my fellow human beings a solid either way. Wish us all luck!

Pete
Pete
17 years ago

If the wind dies down and it warms up a bit I need to get a ride in.

Jhianna
17 years ago

Boxer-briefs, very nice!

Hmm… weekend plans. Zombie TV watching tonight with perhaps some light reading. Dinner and a comedy club tomorrow night with a group of friends to celebrate two birthdays. Laundry, grocery, chores, and general prep for next week on Sunday.

lumpyheadsmom
17 years ago

Having a baby.

I hope. If she doesn’t come out on her own this weekend, she’s being evicted on Tuesday. So there.

serror
serror
17 years ago

Umm. Dog-sit in house that is on the market for $1.4 Million (nice view + in Seattle), and apparently very popular because I have to vacate it for showings almost all weekend, aside from the time I sleep. Poor lonely doggie.

I am super excited about a trip to Nordy’s Rack on Sunday (Shoes!!), that will oddly enough coordinate with the extended family’s January Birthday shindig at OCB. Yes, you heard correctly my family is going to Old Country Buffet to celebrate at 4pm on a Sunday. (No one is willing to do dishes aside from a select few, and washing dishes for 30 people twice a month when the living room is filled with able-bodied adults rubs me the wrong way.) So I am super excited about the salad bar. I love salad bars! And not having to do an hour and a half of clean up!

And see Pan’s Labyrinth tonight! Yay!

Alex
17 years ago

This weekend, I’m trying Outrigger Canoe Paddeling, and am going in my first hash with the Kona Hash House Harriers. I’m also trying a BodyJam class at the local gym, and meeting a whole new group of people for a potluck by someone’s pool and then going to see a band at a bar with all these people, assuming I like them during the potluck. New friends in new places! Whoop! I will also watch as much football as I possibly can on Sunday. Also, I’m working a little bit, too.

Audrey
Audrey
17 years ago

If you feel like veturing down south a bit to Puyallup, there will be a “Snowed In” festival, complete with real snow brought down from the mountains (oh, the irony of the timing!!). Maybe you could get some sledding and snow-ball throwing in there!

My husband and I are headed to central Oregon for a weekend away — a baby gift to be used before Baby arrives. Should be relaxing, except for the damn football games on Sunday!!

Mel
Mel
17 years ago

We plan on going to ‘Detroit, Michigan this weekend. No, not for the car show (thank God) but to visit my husban’ds cousin and family. It’s the closest relative Kevin has to him geographically and he really enjoys it. I do, too. I’m just not lookkng forward to the car ride. Ever since Christmas, Ian hates sitting in the car seat, whining and then throwing a tantrum if he can’t get out this very second.

megan
megan
17 years ago

Oooh, boxer briefs. Sexy!

We’re supposed to be getting a tile backsplash on the wall behind our sink and stove. It’s something I am both looking forward to and dreading because a) oooh, pretty tiles!, and b) where the heck am I going to hang my magnetic knife strip now? The other downer is that it means I will be stuck inside all day with the guy who is installing it. Both days. Ugh.

Other plans include trying to decide between going to see Children of Men or Pans Labyrinth. I am all for seeing either one, but the BF is not too sure about the latter. So most likely it will be Clive Owens. Which, really, isn’t such a bad deal now is it?

omu
omu
17 years ago

We’re going to watch Minnesota Gopher college hockey both tonight and tomorrow night. Tonight we’ve got a baby sitter for the 15 month old. Tomorrow we’re bringing him with. (That should be interesting since he no longer has patience to sit still!)

We were hoping to go to the jewelry store to buy a diamond and sapphire ring that’s to be my present for bringing him into the world/mother’s day/Valentine’s day/because I’m a super person present, but since the hubby and I have had a little fight going for a couple of days, I’m not so sure the hubby is going to want to fete me with diamonds and sapphires. We’ll have to see how that goes.

Sunday Il Postino doesn’t work, so hopefully we’ll have a nice day at home as a family. I’d like to go to the park and let the babe swing in the swings. If the MN weather cooperates, that could be fun. (We’ve got a baby sled, so I was thinking we could pull him there.)

Lisa B
Lisa B
17 years ago

I’ll be sitting home, with the husband, watching him be drugged out and cranky. Week three of the broken collarbone continues. It should have gotten better by now, but he reinjured it. I keep telling myself he’s more unhappy than I am, but sheesh, at least he gets to take Vicodin and Percoset!

And I’ll be going to REI to buy new luggage for our trip to CT on Wednesday where I’ll have a husband with a broken collarbone to keep me company as I care for my Mom who can’t walk and is housebound until late March. Whee!

ollka
ollka
17 years ago

Delurking? Re-delurking? Can’t remember.
Our weekend is Friday-Saturday. I know, crazy! We had several friends over today for a bring-your-own-dish dinner, much fun and food and a couple new recipes was had by all. We recommend, but if any of you want to try it, don’t forget to make sure that nobody is allergic to anything and that someone brings dessert!
Tomorrow is a friend’s birthday, so we are probably going to spend the afternoon lazying about and wrapping the gift (it’s an enlarged photo I took, with a handmade passe-par-tout, in case you are wondering), and the evening is going to involve cozy guitar-accompanied drinking, methinks.

Liz
Liz
17 years ago

Celebrating Baby Penny’s first birthday! Yay!

Tonight we are going out to an Italian restaurant, courtesy of the inlaws. After that we will escape the house to shop for party supplies. This is as close to a date night as we can get.

Other than that, the usual-football and laundry.

Magpie
17 years ago

Saturday morning I’m trying a new yoga class. Saturday night we’re going to a very very nice restaurant, which will mostly involve eating foams out of tiny cups and swooning. Also, somewhere in there will be chopping, because I’ve been taking knife skills classes and we’re all under orders to practice.

Amie
17 years ago

Weekend plans? Lying around in bed or on the sofa, moaning piteously, because I’ve been nailed in the ass by the damn flu. Fun stuff! But, hey…no matter how you look at it, you’re gonna have a better weekend compared to that. Heh.

Erica
17 years ago

Lucky me, I am spending this weekend on the couch under a massive pile of blankets, downing NyQuil at regular intervals as my bi-monthly crud (fever, sore throat, cough, snotfest) has returned. Yay!

Mama Ritchie
17 years ago

Packing my entire house because the movers are coming in less than 2 weeks and rumor is we have to get all of our belongings into boxes before then.

Oh, and a friend from the OC is dropping off a certain smokable plant – not for us, but for my husband’s uncle who is visiting my in-laws in a couple weeks and needs to have a stash. I swear. But he was in ‘Nam. Twice. So I say let the man get his jollies, eh? I’m so boring that I am not even thinking of pinching. That shit just makes me nervous. And fat. And nervous. What was that? What’d you say? You talkin’ ’bout me?

April
April
17 years ago

Lots of barstool-holding-down. Playing quarters tonight, watching the Indiana vs. UConn basketball game tomorrow, and the Bears on Sunday.

Go BEARS!

Jane
17 years ago

Yesterday I worked at NZ’s largest music festival. Tool headlined the – Killers, Muse, My Chemical Romance, The Violent Femmes, Kasabian, Lupe Fiasco, Lily Allen, and a whole heap of others also played. I had the pleasure of interviewing Kasabian, the Violent Femmes, and Muse (gasp!). I also got within two feet of the Killers, My Chemical Romance, and Lily Allen – but I was too shamed out to say hi.

Today my flatmate is having his 21st in our backyard, and we’re all running around in preparation (well, except that I’m typing this). I’m about to go and book some plane tickets to go to London, Paris, and Japan next month (!!!!). Then I will pick up a new pair of shoes that have been couriered to work. Yipee. The weekend is off to a grand start…

Lucy
17 years ago

Plans for a Sydney girl involve heading to the coast to spend the weekend with my Mum, who lives on the other side of Australia and has flown home for a visit.

Family reunion bbq thing tomorrow at the beach followed by horrific sun burn, soothed by massive beer consumption – because dammit I am Australian and that is what we do!

Monday is a day off work where I will be soothing my lobster raw skin and having breakfast out, and then heading home to finish off Arrested Development 3.

She will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine.

Stephanie B.
Stephanie B.
17 years ago

Work on some artwork – painting – and then going to check out the new Lowe’s they opened up in town. Yeah baby – love me some home improvement! We will visit Starbucks a couple times ourselves. The rest of the weekend holds a couple of trips to the local parks to work off some of our toddler’s (2 years old,) energy. Hence the need for a couple of Venti Quad Lattes.

Amanda
17 years ago

The weekends are when the husband gets to deal with the temper tantrums that my 21-month-old throws every 5 minutes. Usually by Sunday night he’s ready to go back to the office, and I’m ready for the aforemetioned woodchipper from your post yesterday.

And somewhere in between I’ll be ordering a peperoni pizza and playing World of Warcraft, because I’m a dork.

Stacey
Stacey
17 years ago

We’re getting a new kitchen faucet! With a pull-down sprayer!!

And I’m so excited about the new faucet that I can’t even bring myself to feel any of the shame that I know I should be experiencing, given the fact that said faucet is, in fact, making me this excited. It’s a vicious cycle that could go on for days.

Perhaps some day I’ll work my way up to the Starbucks drive-thru.

ThatGrrrl
17 years ago

Oil change at the Honda dealer first thing Saturday morning, SuperTarget to buy Digiornos pizza and poptarts, back home to ride the bike, shower, lunch, nap, reading, comedy (Greg Warren “Flute Man Greg”), fall into bed at 11pm. Sunday is sleeping in, therapy at 11, lunch, nap, reading. It’s going to be a good weekend.

Stacy
Stacy
17 years ago

My weekend is mostly all about home improvement, which I’ve come to love and hate, depending on the day; make that depending on the hour, who I am kidding? I had the gas line installed today for a gas log set for my fireplace, then had to wait for the inspector this afternoon, and was hoping to spend tonight and this weekend enjoying it, but alas, it won’t be finished until next Tuesday, since the heating company can’t get back out to finish it until then. Saturday I’m dealing with another contractor to do final measurements on some basement windows (3rd time rescheduling due to weather emergencies they’ve had given all this crazy weather). Saturday night I’m going to a glow bowl birthday party, which should be a hoot. Sunday I’m having yet another contractor over to talk about my long list of handyman type of projects, from kitchen lighting updates to some drywall and finishing work that I’d like to do over the next couple weeks to months. All Hail the HELOC! I do so love, thee, Home Equity Line Of Credit.

Mika
Mika
17 years ago

Throwing a birthday party for my son (2 years old!), which will involve 9 kids and their corresponding parents. It didn’t seem like much when I was sending out the invites but now I realize that is a shitload of people in my house! Then tomorrow evening it’s party number two, for my mom who is also celebrating her birthday (an unspecified number of years, but definitely more than 2!). That will be more low key — just family and a very large pan of lasagna that I already put together today in a fit of organization.

jonniker
17 years ago

This weekend, I am playing host to Schnozz, and delighting in her company. There are benefits, after all, to living in Florida, which is that bloggers often find themselves here (this is my third blogger arrival!)

LaQuetha
17 years ago

I read your site a lot and I finally got the guts to post. Well this weekend I am watching some of my favorite kiddos and I am going to attempt to make challah bread. Wish me luck!!

Sonia
Sonia
17 years ago

Cleaning. Out. Two. Closets. Please, try to contain your jealousy.

Schnozz
17 years ago

My husband would SO approve of the boxers vs. briefs. At my bridal shower, we played that game where I’m asked questions about him that I have to try to answer correctly, while someone holds a giant posterboard with the answer written out in black Sharpie right behind my head. One question was “boxers or briefs?” I said “boxers” with complete confidence, but to the crowd’s baffled astonishment (we were LIVING together), the poster said “briefs” in gigantic letters, because there had been some kind of mixup. My husband was HORRIFIED when he heard about it–first of all, because he didn’t want anyone thinking he wore manties, and second of all, because he wanted people to know that I really HAVE seen his underwear.

Alyson
17 years ago

I had no idea my hubby wore MANTIES!! He’ll love that!

My weekend? finishing the body of a shawl I am knitting (and starting on another, I hope), thinking if a really good reason not to go to a birthday party an hour away, doing some cleaning now that I feel halfway human after a nasty cold, oh and taking #2 son to a baseball practice (yes, baseball!) and then a parent meeting afterward (read that, another reason for me to write a HUGE check to his baseball team!).

They don’t get cheaper as they get older. Diapers go away, and sports equipment takes it’s place. And then there are the SHOES! Oh and subsidizing dates….but then you get to tease them about girls….that’s good.

thejunebug
17 years ago

Unpacking. And… more unpacking. And… yeah, unpacking. :) Want to trade?

Steve Wilson
Steve Wilson
17 years ago

Football, Football. Also, you forgot the comback—they lean over to the guy next to them and say, “Water sure is cold today.” And the other guy replies, “Deep too!”

deanna
17 years ago

i moved into a new apartment in december…my first time without a roomate and having a place to officially call and make “my own.” so this weekend is officially dedicated to purchasing some decent furniture to fill this place with, because the air mattress i am currently using as a “couch” is totally getting old. [not to mention the fact that the bright orange comforter i have covering it is giving me a serious headache everytime i have to glare at the damn thing….]

and as it stands at the moment, i owe crate & barrel my first born child and my soul…

but at least ill have a fabulously comfortable and stylish apartment to enjoy until then…

Marilyn
17 years ago

pajamas…dozing on the couch…falling asleep to Netflix…more pajamas…throwing on jeans to go with pajama top to hit a couple of stores…back into pajama pants…football…newspapers in bed…snoring (him, not me)…with the occasional timeout for pasta, coffee and tossing bon-bons down my gullet…

Anne L.
Anne L.
17 years ago

Yikes, I’m late! Well, I painted the kitchen cupboards, went for a staggering 1.5 mile run in sub-zero temps (pathetic, yes.) Between the strange stretching and reaching to remove the cupboard doors and the sososo painful physical activity of getting “healthy”, I HURT. Wah.

warcrygirl
17 years ago

Just so you know, I didn’t get laid this weekend but I did eat an abnormally large amount of mini Reese’s peanut butter cups so it wasn’t a total loss.

kerrianne
17 years ago

When I first read the headline “Eagle Explosion” I was scared for a minute someone was going to be talking about an eagle, actually exploding. Yeah, I know. It’s been a long day.

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