Sep
7
There is a topic I have been very hesitant to write about, but it has affected me so deeply it feels increasingly dishonest not to. And that is, as our actual United States president calls it, because we live in a timeline that is both deeply dark and troubling and also impossibly stupid, THE FAT SHOT.
So here we go into the topic of GLP-1s and body image and weight loss, and if that is not your jam, I get it. For a while there I was really trying to avoid all of the endless writeups on these drugs and it felt impossible. I don’t have any kind of Hot Take to share, I am just going to talk about my own experience in general terms.
I will say that as soon as I started hearing about these meds I knew it was only a matter of time and availability and cost until I would give them a go. I’ve only spent my entire adult LIFE in a state of mild to complete obsession with my weight and how much I’m eating. And I am hardly a hesitant person when it comes to, let’s just say medications. Other folks might wisely consider things like side effects and long term repercussions, I myself do not treat my body like a temple unless we are talking about the gluttonous rat Templeton in Charlotte’s Web.
Earlier this year I had read about someone’s experience with compound GLP-1s, which are the custom-mixed, non-FDA-approved alternatives to brand-name drugs like Ozempic and Zepbound. That was enough to spark my interest and I ended up acquiring a semaglutide prescription through a telehealth service (Hers, for the record). It was an easy if expensive process and there is some medical overview in the sense that you get a chat message from a doctor now and then, but largely you’re on your own with everything.
‘Non-FDA approved’ is a term that no longer holds much sway for me (you mean the same FDA run by Trump Jr’s hunting buddy with no medical or scientific credentials?) but of course it’s a lot more sketchy to order drugs off the internet rather than getting them prescribed from your own doctor.
It’s also not easy to dose these compound meds. They don’t come with injector pens or any kind of mechanism that makes that part a no-brainer. You get little vials of liquid medication that has to live in the fridge, and a pack of syringes and rubbing alcohol pads. For each dose, you have to draw the correct amount out of the vial into the syringe — weirdly difficult! — then flick the needle like you’ve seen in the movies to get the air bubble to float to the top, then inject your own self.
I was given a dosing schedule that starts you very low and gradually increases the amount, which I followed. It’s been a while but I would say I noticed an effect right away, a mild sort of nausea that reminded me a bit of early morning sickness. As time went on and my doses increased, I got to a point of familiarity with it: the strongest effects would be happening on maybe the third day after the shot, then waning back down until my next dose.
I did not have extreme side effects. The worst I have ever felt has been some nausea/food aversion and fatigue, nothing major. My dosing has remained pretty low, it seems like I respond to it really well and can get by with smaller amounts.
The big thing you hear about with these drugs is not having ‘food noise’, which I didn’t really understand until I experienced it. I would say it is like having food become … food. As opposed to a drug.
Food isn’t a DRUG lol, O RLY then why have I used it like a drug for as long as I can remember? Food can be euphoric, food can be comforting, food can numb and distract, food is the one addiction you can’t find the relief of abstinence from. I have struggled with food for so long and really dug myself into a bad habit during COVID of evening dissociation with food and TV. I remember the feeling of just giving myself permission, night after night, to have whatever the hell I wanted because god dammit everything was so fucked, and I have not been able to shake the chase of that full-body whew of permission + overconsumption.
Plus, menopause. Metabolic changes, body fat redistribution, pounds clinging stubbornly. I wasn’t problematically overweight but I was at a higher weight than I’d been since pregnancy and the scale kept inching upwards.
Once the meds reached a certain point, I’d say my relationship with food completely changed. I can still enjoy and appreciate food, to be clear. I was worried about that part, like yes I would love for food to not rule my life but I also don’t want to lose its appeal, right? Things taste good, things look good. But nothing is overwhelming in the way that it was. I can eat a thing and just … stop?!? I eat smaller portions overall, but the real switch is in the night eating.
OH, THE NIGHT EATING. Workin’ on my night cheese ♬ Oh my god the calorie intake that would happen after, say, 7 PM. The mornings I would wake up just steeped in regret from all the binge snacking. Well, I just plain don’t do that any more. I don’t want it and I don’t miss it. All I can say is food does not get me high any more.
I’ve lost about 30 pounds from my very highest to my lowest weight. I bounce around a little and I’m still tinkering with the dose to find a sweet spot where I have good appetite but no bingeing. I worry about muscle loss and getting enough protein, ugh the protein of it all. I dislike the syringes and vials and am in the process of switching to the Wegovy pen (this was not available to me when I first started back in March). I just got my bloodwork done last week and everything looks fine. I don’t need to lose any more weight but I would like to take these meds forever if I can.
It’s been pretty life changing. I feel a LOT more confident about my body, which is vain but there it is, and that’s made a huge difference in how I feel on a daily basis. I also feel untethered from decades of cycling through various unhealthy relationships with food. Restricting, bingeing, endless scrutinizing and criticisms. I just … eat food now. For fuel and pleasure but never for intoxication or numbness.
I realize I’m not the target market for these medications. There are folks who need it more than me who can’t get it yet because of cost and that sucks. I hope it continues to become more available to those who want it. I hope we as a society can figure out how to view GLP-1s as an option and not something that should be praised or demonized. I wish we weren’t seeing such a backslide into extreme thinness happening hand in skeletal hand with the increasing availability of the meds.
I don’t want to promote using compound meds — I know there have been issues, I know there is risk. It was something I was willing to contend with, and I was willing to pay the high cost of an out of pocket prescription. It’s not for everyone, but it worked very well with me and it’s a big factor in my overall state of being these days. I feel generally positive and hugely relaxed about my weight and my eating, and I am not sure I’ve felt that way since I was a child.
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