September 12, 2007

The other day I was driving home from work and an emergency vehicle appeared on the horizon behind me, and as it came wailing up the road everyone in sight obediently slowed and pulled off to the side, and as all the cars waited patiently I thought how oddly kind the whole scene appeared, like if an alien was observing us from space they would see this generous giving-way sort of group movement and think what a selfless, supportive species we are.

Of course, a few minutes later I was nearly sideswiped by a fetid chunk of dickcheese yapping on their cell phone while blithely cutting their Range Rover into the lane inconveniently occupied by my car, so my newfound faith in humanity was short-lived.

In general I don’t really mind my commute, homicidal Range Rovers notwithstanding. It’s a nice space of time to zone out, ponder my life, and blast Ministry at top volume if I so choose.

Traffic is problematic, though. I take advantage of my office’s lax core hours policy by leaving the house late enough to miss the lion’s share of morning traffic, but there’s just no good way to get home (for those who are familiar with Seattle, I work over by the University Village Mall, and I live in Bellevue—it’s a clusterfuck any way you approach it). I get home late, Riley is always tired and cranky, and I only have a hectic hour or so with him before it’s bedtime.

My workplace office is scheduled to move sometime in the fall/winter timeframe, and my commute will become longer and, I think, even more congested. I don’t know exactly how it’s going to be on a regular basis, but there is potential for it to really and truly suck.

I think ahead to a new baby next year, and the costs of having two children in daycare. I think about my salary, and how immensely useful it is despite those associated daycare costs. I think about my future career and how I would love to move into freelancing full time someday but I can’t figure for the life of me how I could make enough each month to pay for the childcare I would need in order to have the time to work to pay for the childcare alone.

My ideal situation for the future is to be self-employed, and have a part-time childcare solution so I can dedicate that time to freelance projects. I’d like a really great nanny/babsitter who can care for the kids at my house, while I head out to various public wifi-and-caffeine zones (pro: holds my more pathological hermity tendencies at bay, con: fuels a potentially budget-breaking latte addiction).

This seems like an attainable goal, doesn’t it? I’m not sure why it feels so utterly impossible to me right now. Why my head is filled with giant dollar signs and logistical roadblocks instead of faith in my own dreams.

For now, I drive my commute and play music and think about all of these things and more, like why it is that Range Rovers have the vehicular equivalent of shark gills on their sides.


PS: Thanks for the blog name votes and suggestions—we’re still chewing on the various ideas. I’ll let you know when the blog is up and running.


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16 years ago

It’s the age old problem isn’t it? If we didn’t have free childcare in the form of my husband’s mother, it wouldn’t even be worth it for me to work my part time job.

Working from home sounds like the ultimate solution, but then you have to consider that you’d probably still need someone to watch the kids just so you could get some work done, but at least then you cut out the heinous commute.

16 years ago

i did the Seattle-Bellevue commute for five years, and although it has been over two years since I’ve done it, I still break into a sweat thinking about it.

My husband is currently trying to rock the freelancing gig. It is tough getting started, but once everything is established it will be the dream situation for us.

16 years ago

I’ve been reading all of the comments about how you could make the commute work, but bearing witness to how horrible Seattle traffic is every. single. day. I have my doubts. There probably isn’t a more painful commute than Bellevue to the other side of the city all in one-shot. Unless you randomly decided to move to Auburn! I give you kudos for simply trekking across the bridge everyday! We live in Bothell and work at the UW and sometimes it takes us 45 minutes to drive 11 miles. And where does 15 minutes come from? Sitting on Montlake. HATE.

Good luck. :) If I was still in college, I would love to watch Riley! But alas, I am…not. To the real working world for me.

shy Victoria
16 years ago

I LOVE the whole ambulance moving out of the way thing!

16 years ago

We planted a tree for Daddy…that one of his cousin’s wives had sent us with a garden stone. She remember how much we had loved the Japanese Maple in the front yard of our first home together. His aunt brought over a bracelet made out of crystals with his name, and I tried to adjust to life as a single mom.

16 years ago

I am more than certain that you could make a career of freelance writing. Beyond that, I think you have bestselling novels in you. I know I’d be in line to buy any book you wrote, and I am a damn picky reader. No smoke, you are gifted.