October 21, 2007

Psst. Hey. Hey, do you hear that noise? Yeah, that noise. I think it’s . . . well, I can’t be sure, but I think it just might be the sound of A THOUSAND FUCKING ANGELS SINGING A GLORY-FILLED HALLELUJAH.

newkitchen1.jpg

Can I get an amen.

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Oh baby, oh baby, that’s right, show me allllllll your storage. Show me how you hold alllllll my pots and pans and boxes of brownie mix. Oh yeah.

oldkitchen1.jpg

Old Kitchen, I’m sorry. We had some okay times. But I’ve moved on. It only took 39281475 months, but I’ve moved on.

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How did I spend my weekend? Cooking various fattening things, including Swistle/Quaker’s Oatmeal Scotchies (laptop as recipe book! GENIUS, as long as you don’t get cookie dough on the case. In which case there is nothing to do, you must lick it clean). I never thought I’d be so excited to use an oven, and you don’t even want to know what I did when we turned on the dishwasher for the first time. It may have involved an unfortunate dance move featuring a vigorous ass-slapping manuever.

Oh! As if that’s not enough excitement for one weekend, BEHOLD:

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I’m . . . sorry, were you maybe taking a sip of a beverage just now? Sorry about that. Here’s a tissue.

JB’s fancy new hairdo is the result of a very successful fundraising activity his office is doing, where individuals raise money and the company matches dollar for dollar. Thanks to his promise that he’d spend this week sporting a red-dyed mohawk, he and one other coworker raised about $5,000 total. JB’s donating his half to Fred Hutchinson Research Center. Not bad for a guy who appears to be trying really, really hard to look like Chuck Liddell.

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Danell
Danell
14 years ago

BEE EEE AY YOO TEE FUL!

Uh, the kitchen is, I mean. Not JB’s head…which is kind of cute, but not really beautiful.

tracy
tracy
14 years ago

AMEN! I’m so happy for you to Finally have your kitchen ~ just in time for all the fall baking….it’s BEAUTIFUL! ~ and I’ll take that tissue! lol

Makaila
14 years ago

That is obviously not a full grown microwave.

Amykatrina
14 years ago

Fan-fucking-tastic hairdo! There’s a Johnny Rotten halloween costume with JB’s name on it this year.

Also, your kitchen? There are no words. I…..so jealous.

Kathryn
Kathryn
14 years ago

Okay, this is going to make JB hate me, but that picture made me think it was Dale, from Top Chef. I’m sorry! He does a coy little pose like that.

Kitchen = hott. Laptop = cookbook = I do that all the time, and one of these days, I’m going to end up slopping spaghetti sauce over the keyboard or some such thing.

Mrs. Breedorf
14 years ago

Gorgeous kitchen.
Did JB do his hair himself?

Jess
14 years ago

Amazing! Totally worth the wait. Both the kitchen and the mohawk. Even if I didn’t know we were waiting for the latter.

Trina
Trina
14 years ago

I am singing Handel’s Messiah for you right now. I am so excited for you there are no words. :) ENJOY your new kitchen.

JAB
JAB
14 years ago

WOW!!! That was worth the wait! Beautiful kitchen…absolutely beautiful.

And, good for JB!

Emily
Emily
14 years ago

Are they really gone? Are all of the lube leaving, porta-pot using workmen really gone? That is truely a magnificent weekend for you. I am also VERY jealous of your new kitchen. GORGEOUS!! Enjoy every single appliance, cupboard and ammenity. You have EARNED it!!! Oh and JB’s hair…. Nearly as awesome as the kitchen. What did Riley have to say about it?

sooboo
sooboo
14 years ago

Awesome kitchen!!! Boy am I jealous! Also, JB should keep the ‘do. It’s totally rockin’.

Kizz
14 years ago

Tell me he’s not shaving at the week mark exactly. Tell me he’ll hang onto it for Halloween. Please. Even if you have to lie to me.

Ashley
14 years ago

So are you sleeping in the new kitchen tonight?

And nice mohawk duuude! Say hello to pink pillow cases Linda.

hello insomnia
14 years ago

All JB needs is some Doc Martens and teen angst.

Jennifer
Jennifer
14 years ago

Nice kitchen! I know you are so thrilled for them to be done! I was just wondering tho, do you have a built in exhaust in the oven top or what? Couldn’t see it.. and.. nice job JB!!

jonniker
14 years ago

Oh hell yes. It’s beautiful. But wait, that “before” shot — isn’t that mid-renovation? Wasn’t your door right behind that line of the fridge? Or have I mixed up the mental image of what your kitchen once was in my mind?

Kristie
14 years ago

I don’t care if you know me or not, I’m coming to make out with your kitchen! It’s gorgeous and my kitchen is jealous!

Anonymous
Anonymous
14 years ago

Ohhh…your kitchen is heaven on earth…
I’m ridiculously jealous!
Dang.
BTW – your man’s hair-do is rad. Yes, rad.

Jen
Jen
14 years ago

Ach. Above commenter is not anonymous. Too much pre-Desperate Housewives wine :P

Jennifer
Jennifer
14 years ago

OMG OMG OMG the kitchen is so gorgeous!! The granite backsplash and the crown molding over the cabinets and a dishwasher with the controls on the top of the door instead of the front (me=envy!) I can see the pan of cookies inside the oven on that last photo too. Ohhh, so glad for you.

And I think JB’s a pretty cool dude for self-sacrifice on behalf of the Fred Hutchinson center. They do good work there.

Alex
14 years ago

My heart seriously went pitter patter a little bit when I looked at the pics of the finished kitchen remodel. Turned out amazingly. Congrats!

Mohawk=niiiiice.

Chiara
14 years ago

Wow–the kitchen looks fantastic! It’s hard to imagine it’s the same house. However, I will be imagining JBs haircut every time I close my eyes for the rest of my life–and if he doesn’t go as a disaffected mall punk for Halloween (you can be his pregnant cheerleader girlfriend) then I am breaking up with both of you. I hope he keeps it forever.

marilyn
14 years ago

Congratulations!!! Those countertops and those cabinets AND the stainless steel appliances combined? I’m drooling. Total excuse for ass-slapping celebration.

Andrea
14 years ago

Major kitchen envy around here. When they finish up at your house can you just send them over my way? Thanks.

Love the mohawk. Who doesn’t look great with red mohawk. Great job with the fundraising JB!

Pete
Pete
14 years ago

Good color combinations in the kitchen and that’s a cool do on JB.

honeybecke
honeybecke
14 years ago

Hot damn, that is a cool kitchen. I LOVE it.
I am so happy for you and can just imagine how nice it must have been to bake in there.
I gave a little gasp when I saw JB’s hair. Wasn’t expecting THAT!
Good for him though, what a stud.

Sara
14 years ago

I feel inspired just looking at your kitchen. I’m sure you won’t miss the contractors, right? Yes, Amen. Glad you are back to ‘normal’! (And I love how Riley and J.B. have matching looks; is he going to have a faux-hawk, maybe?

Sarah
14 years ago

You all and your new kitchen totally RAWK. And I think JB’s ‘hawk is very tastefully done!

mo from ne
14 years ago

I was so impressed when I clicked on here and there was that wonderful new kitchen! Good for you. JB’s hair reminds me of a boy I had a crush in the eighties how nice for you. Hope all is well with Dog, Cat, and The Boy.

Ter
Ter
14 years ago

Becareful your don’t slip on my puddle of drool. And keep a close eye on your countertops. Your kitchen is gorgeous!

Emma
Emma
14 years ago

JB’s new look rocks – good on him for the charity effort! :)

Second, your kitchen looks fab; that’s the kind of occasion that would have me vaguely wandering through the room, fingers gently brushing against the surfaces… ahem. Well, it would…

And finally, because I know of your fear of zombies, be grateful you weren’t in Toronto: http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/07/10/22/

Katie
14 years ago

Gorgeous!!! The kitchen is magnificent!

So, with that and JB’s new look, you must keep wondering if you’re in the wrong house!

Eric's Mommy
14 years ago

The new kitchen looks GREAT!!!!!

I love JB’s mowhawk too, I would die if my husband did that!

warcrygirl
14 years ago

AMEN! and HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Teej
14 years ago

Wow. I thought that WAS Chuck Liddell for a second. Which would make you… Juliette Lewis? No, let’s not do that. She will always be Dani in Cape Fear to me. Let’s just pretend you’re sleeping with the Iceman, which is way cooler than being a dim-witted 15-year-old with Nick Nolte for a father.

Beautiful kitchen, but… did you see this? The Toronto Zombie Walk 2007? http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/07/10/22/. Don’t be scared. They’re not real. But they are very scary. But don’t be scared!

Kaire
14 years ago

The kitchen is amazing!

So wrong of me, but my first thought with JB is “carpet match the drapes?”

Then I realized I don’t want to know if he has a little red landing strip.

ollka
14 years ago

A woo and a hoo for your kitchen, and a hoo and a wha?? for the mohawk:)

Violet
14 years ago

Man, that is one REALLY SEXY kitchen! I.. feel kind of faint just looking at the pictures. WOW! Now I’m gonna’ hafta’ go and kick my own kitchen a little bit..

And your husband is lookin’ really sexy, too!

My god, woman, please drag that man into the kitchen and put him into a kimora and.. uh.. y’know, maybe I’ll stop now. Yes, I think I will.

Swistle
14 years ago

Uh. Muh. Guh.

1) Kitchen is DONE? Kitchen is DONE???
2) Oatmeal Scotchies are FATTENING? Oh shit.
3) JB’s hair is the highlight of my week.

Christine
Christine
14 years ago

Am I the only one thinking “Travis Bickle” when I look at JB’s hair? Ah, who cares! I LOVE his new ‘do!

And your kitchen = DROOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!! I am so jellis…

Jean
Jean
14 years ago

My jealousy runs very deep. Not for the mohawked husband, but for that kitchen. That KITCHEN!

Sadie
Sadie
14 years ago

I just fucked your kitchen through my screen. Heh.

Christina
14 years ago

Your kitchen rocks! I cannot wait until one days I have granite (or stone) counter tops (other than that I love love my kitchen!) Glad to hear the remodel is mostly done (I think the driveway is still going on but the people have left the inside of your house, right!!?)

Love the new look for your hubby! ;)

Rakel
Rakel
14 years ago

Forget the amen, I think absa-fucking-awesome is more the way to go here ! And the hair, totally goes with the pregnant wife who spends all her time in the kitchen making cookies!

Pam
Pam
14 years ago

Yeah!! New kitchens are cool.

Adrien
14 years ago

Oh. That kitchen makes me weep with it’s beauty and storage.

wn
wn
14 years ago

wow, looks FAB!

JB looks so hardcore in that picture!

Amy M.
Amy M.
14 years ago

Beautiful kitchen!

Madison had a zombie lurch this weekend too, supposedly campaigning for zombie rights. http://www.thedailypage.com/daily/article.php?article=11021

And I had to google Chuck Liddel. Great ‘hawk, JB!

angelosmom
angelosmom
14 years ago

Your kitchen looks soooo great.. I guess it better, after all that time!! I too made the oatmeal scotchies this weekend! I was inspired, as I rarely bake, and they came out DELICIOUSLY. Hope you enjoy(ed?) yours as much as we did.

JB’s hair is rockin’ – I definitely think you should do Riley’s to match ;-)