Nov
18
Okay, I have the results of the Cat Hive vs. Trap query, but before we get into that, can I just say that MANY of you did not play by the rules. You had the choice of 1) HIVE, or 2) TRAP, with no fudge room for debating the validity of either term, and yet there was a distressingly large Cave/Lair constituent, not to mention various other suggestions which I helpfully filed under “Other” (including “hello, it’s two pillows on a cat”).
You are a Question Authority kind of group, is what I’m saying. The kind of person who sees the choices before them, and decides that you know what? That isn’t good enough. It’s not a hive or a trap, for the love of god, and I refuse to cast my vote accordingly. You like to Think Different, but without going the path that has been easily laid out before you.
In other words, you are the perfect demographic for the Zune. You make it you, you crazy dreamers.
Here is how the voting broke down:
Trap for the win! Because come on, THAT WAS SO A TRAP. Those of you who thought the trap referred to Cat being trapped instead of being an actual, living trap for me, you get negative ten points for not comprehending the full evil potential of Cat but an extra five points for being cute (net total: five point loss, but you got your own data slice in the Excel pie!). Josh gets an extra fifty points for delivering his trademarked foamy-mouthed rant on the subject of hives and traps and pointing out that “if you had walked into your room, and the cat was in a bucket balanced on top of the door, now that would be a trap,” which sent JB off on a goattrail about how we should totally stage a photo that depicted Cat in a bucket on top of a door, or maybe a whole series of photos with Cat in a variety of human-trap poses and hey babe do you think CatTrap.com is taken? (Sadly: yes.)
I plan to spend an extra twenty bucks at Target this afternoon to celebrate my victory. The curtains of history will have to remain demurely closed on whether or not JB got a silver place Knowing Leer.
And lastly, toddler hive . . . or TRAP?
I’m just kidding, that’s clearly a U.S. Bear Patrol employee hard at work.
Comments
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Awesome results. I’m glad you won, we need to know what you buy for your $20 at Target, mmkay?
This was def more fun than Survivor, which I am finding to be quite a yawn this season. I want more from Denise. More camera time for the lunch lady! James is OK though. I fear he’s gonna be the only survivor ever to be voted off with two immunity idols though!
Also, am I the only one who hears Adam Sandler bellowing out lunch lady land whenever Denise is around?
Well hey, hive may not have won, but at least I got an extra fifty points.
JB: I did my best dude. Sometimes my best just isn’t good enough. And I’m with you one the staged photo montage of cat traps. I think possibly if you had taken a series of more realistic trap photos before the voting started, more people would have realized exactly what constitutes a trap of the cat variety.
Linda: I’m slightly creeped out with the attention to detail you paid while tallying the votes. I mean a pie chart for heavens sake? Yikes, you don’t like losing do you? And I just want to point out that the number of people who didn’t think it was a trap outnumber the people who do. So in a way, JB did win.
Riley: Snap dude, that’s one wickedly awesome shirt. Every time I see it I want one. Thanks to your sweet fashion sense, no matter the vote, I think everyone wins.
Yeah for your win Linda! That was TOTALLY a trap.
See, I am always right about things like traps and hives. That was a trap. I am going to give myself twenty dollars.
I think I love this site more every time I come. This defies reason, logic, and pie charts.
I’m also a little worried your sofa has a sand trap. Quicksand is dangerous. You should have someone check that out…or not.
my god, your boy is so big nowadays!
Despite what you call the trap/hive, know that JB and Cat are in cahoots. She, however, has him hoodwinked to think this is nothing more than a little fun trickery. The truth is that he does her bidding in retribution for being left out of the new “family” banner heading your site. Poor, sneaky kitty.
Oh my god! You HAVE to do the pictures of the cat in a bucket on a door. That is sooo much better than all the “I can haz a cookie” cat stuff floating around. You could do a website called ninjacat.com or stealthcat.com
That’s neither a hive or trap, it’s just plain cuteness. And I hope you don’t try toddler in a bucket. Ha!
Your Mom and I still think Riley looks just like you did, nose to chin. The eyes, not so much. But a Lindapus? Absolutely.
Your kid is getting cuter by the second, yes?
LOL at “Josh’s trademarked foamy-mouthed rant.” Once again you are a pro at crafting words to sum up a topic so succinctly.
Bear patrol! Maybe you need to find a Cat Patrol shirt, and have him scope out the couch before you sit down.
I was too late to vote, but I would’ve gone for lair or cave, too. Obviously Evil Cats have a natural habitat of lair/cave. Though Cat in a bucket over the door is a great idea.
Such a funny post and follow-up. But I have to go off-topic and ask: What’s with the shameless Zune plug? Just sarcasm, or are you slowly changing your allegiance to that-company-which-shall-not-be-named-except-in-the-link-to -the-Zune-website?
Ha, I didn’t really think of that as a plug. But for the record, I’m a fan of Apple gear.
For the record: Apple is confusing and a total pain in the ass. Just sayin. I was raised on Windows, and a windows child shall I forever be.
Also, I had no idea I had a trade mark on the whole foamy mouth rant thing. In fact, I hadn’t realized my logical and well spoken comments even came off as rants, let alone foamy mouth ones. I’m sorry if my passion for truth has been misinterpreted as some sort of rant, but in fact I never rant, I only try and spread the gospel of Josh. Not a rant, more like the Bible for the internet. Sort of like my side business as a minister. I let you have the truth free of charge in hopes that you will one day hire me to officiate your wedding/funeral/baptism. I’m available for all three as long as I don’t get locked up. Wicked cheap too!
I smell data manipulation here. I mean, does hive not constitute a lair or cave?
(A PIE CHART. I can’t stop laughing. Linda, you made a PIE CHART.)
Hey, you’ll have to ask the Lair/Cave People about whether they were actually making a suggestion that fell under the Hive Category. I think NOT.
Also, I will have you know JB made the pie chart. While I sat there reading from the comments: “Hive. Trap. Hive. Trap. Trap. Hive. Lair. Cave. Thought Cat was supposed to be trapped. Josh. Hive.” Etc. It was kind of awesome.
Whoah, how come there wasn’t some sort of separate category for Josh? I mean I did bring in five hundred and one votes! That’s got to be at least twelve fifths of the pie chart! Especially if JB was adding that shit up. Come on JB, it’s like you are your own wieners worst enemy! If ever there were a time to cheat, it would have been the infamous hive/trap debate of ’07. Am I going to have to start taking my own side in these arguments and completely forsaking my duty to my fellow males? JB, your pie chart making skills leave me unimpressed. I went to bat for you and you come out with nothing? Weak! I hope those history curtains Sundry spoke of are black light stained, because if not, you have sorely disappointed me man.
Oh my god, you made a PIE GRAPH! This is why I read your blog, and love you so dearly. (Try not to be alarmed). Also, I was one of the, er, special people who assumed cat was supposed to be trapped. Ha. I guess that makes me part of the orange slice.
Oh, OK, JB made the pie chart. (Graph? I am not on drugs, I swear). This means, sadly, I must switch sides. A pie chart! Seriously. :)
Riley’s wearing the same “who, me?” face he’s going to give you when you find a pack of cigs, a beer cap, and a condom wrapper in his pocket.
I wish I could come up with something witty to say but am too busy laughing through my white-chocolate-macademianut-cookies.
hah hahah haahahahahha
ahem.
quite
I want a Bear Patrol shirt. And I’m pissed that I missed the Hive/Trap/Lair Battle.
If you are an adult male and wear a bear patrol shirt, then I bet you’ll make a lot of “interesting” new friends. :)
I’m curious to know how many of the male voters picked ‘hive’ merely to support JB in winning what every male on the planet wants. if you know what i’m sayin’
Oh, Josh, Josh, Josh. Not to totally hijack the blog, but Windows is to Apple as a trap is to a hive (or lair). One is annoying and evil, and the other is cozy and comfortable. :)
I am rendered immobile from the cuteness in that last photo. I LOVE BEAR PATROL!
you know what? in a weird way, after having a bad day, reading your blog always cheers me up. thank you so much for your bloggy existence. for realz.
This so has nothing to do with this entry, I just had to send you this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP6nYs9Il7c
Figured you could always do with a little zombie mania!
Oh, and so a trap, an evil, amber eyed probably british accented trap! I am talking about cat of course, not gorgeous, almond eyed, Rileybear trap!
OH that cutie. Pie chart–what? I am too distracted by cute bear-patrollers.
[…] “The results are in” from All & Sundry. Linda had a hilarious follow-up post to her earlier question complete with a pie chart. The whole post made me laugh. Which, considering the growing holiday panic and stress, was very welcome! […]