Okay, I don’t want to gross anyone out too much, but I just want to say this for the record: although I do not know what it feels like to push a baby from my own body, I DO know what it feels like to go big Rudy lay some Alaska pipe drop the kids off at the pool stack some logs pinch a loaf go Number Two after the effects of hydromorphone hydrochloride have wreaked their internal havoc, and if childbirth is any worse than that, well thank the 8 lb, 6 oz baby jesus for the miracle of surgery because OH MY GOD THE PAIN THE PAIN KILL ME NOW.

Ahem. Onward, to the less unsavory blog content:

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Dude, Cat is twice the size of the baby. That’s just wrong. Also note how she’s getting as much hair as possible on his pacifier. We’ll probably blow that off or wipe it on our shirts or something before cramming it back in his fuss-hole, we’re not unsanitary.

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Riley would like everyone to know that he is still v. cute and charming, even though he suddenly seems about the size of a T-Rex.

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SPEAKING OF CUTE. Hello, big brother kissing on the baby, could you DIE.

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This last one is just in case you haven’t had your RDA of sucrose. I believe this child may be formed entirely of creme brulĂ©e. I mean, when he’s all angelic and sleeping like that, not so much when he’s making weird elephant trumpeting sounds from both ends at 3 AM.

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Mary
14 years ago

I would say something about how cute your kids are, but melting into a big puddle has prevented me from doing so.

Christina
14 years ago

So beautiful! I can hardly take it.
I had a vag birth, still cant go and its been 18 weeks. Its all softners around here, and even with that I feel like Im turing inside out. Nice.

dorrie
dorrie
14 years ago

Ohhh man. that last pic is sooo yummy.

I remember my first, you know, after my vag birth. Dude, talk about wrong.

Katie
Katie
14 years ago

Oh Linda, Colace was my friend after my c/s! It saved my ass, so to speak! Try it!

Riley is cute as ever and looks like a great big brother!

Dylan has the smoochiest face! Lurv baby cheeks!

Hope you feel better soon!

Kristen
Kristen
14 years ago

My ovaries burst into jealous flames at the picture of Riley kissing Dylan. Too much cuteness!

Tara
Tara
14 years ago

Well. For the record, I did deliver vaginally (though with the help of an epidural, thanks to all that is holy). Even though the epi seemed to be wearing off by the time I delivered (i.e. I was whimpering quietly and breathing through the pain for 2 hours before they realized I was fully dilated and it was showtime), that was NOTHING to how painful my first post-delivery BM was. Don’t know if it was the episiotomy stitches, the general soreness of being just 2 days postpartum, or what, but I’ve never felt such pain in my life. I seriously considered suicide, just so I wouldn’t have to actually go. And thank you to the stool softener pushers out there, but I’d taken those as directed, and they DID NOT HELP AT ALL. How’s that for krazee?

But I lived through it, and everything got better after that, amen.

Dylan is TOTALLY decadent. And the kiss from Riley puts the cherry on top. :)

stormy
stormy
14 years ago

Oh my ovaries!

Sundry
Sundry
14 years ago

You guys leave the nicest comments, I swear. And H: I just laughed so hard at your dry grapefruit story I think I may have ruptured something. Oh god.

Buckeye Mommy
Buckeye Mommy
14 years ago

First: Dylan has the sweetest face!! So beautiful!

Second: I had my son the “old-fashioned” way and can I tell you, I think I was more scared of that first trip to the bathroom than I had been about the labor and delivery. And with good reason. It. Was. Horrible. I feel your pain.

Karen
Karen
14 years ago

OK…as a non-child-bearing (yet) female, can I enquire as to WHY the first BM is so bad?
Does all the liquid in your body disappear or something so it feels like passing a pile of twigs??

kim
kim
14 years ago

there is no sentiment I can express that hasn’t already been said here, SO SWEET, I want to bite off both of their noses and chew them like bubble gum. (ok, that sounds “TOO fweaky” but I know you know what I mean)
Your nails look fantastic!

Shelly
14 years ago

Awwww….So, so cute!

Jo
Jo
14 years ago

Too cute, Dylan is indeed a creme brulee baby – yum!

And Riley kissing him on the head, yep, just died.

Oh, and yay Cat! :)

Robin
14 years ago

I am so amazed at how cute your boys are. Riley is going to be breaking hearts in the future I think, that grin is awesome.

Jennifer
14 years ago

In your list of metaphors for “number two” you forgot: Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. (That’s a football reference, BTW!)

imstell
14 years ago

Oh, those ears. Those still-squishy, velvety soft, completely foldable, just-like-a-puppy’s ears! I. Must. Touch.

Gentry
14 years ago

What the hell?!!! It hurts to poo?!! Pregnancy gives you gas? Placenta looks like a liver? They never tell you this stuff!

Thank you for reason 9072 why it’s better for me to adopt.

telegirl
telegirl
14 years ago

So, I just have to add one thing to this. Normal Labor = Pushing = Hemorrhoids. Never experienced that before and good GOD was that painful. Seriously, go get a stool softener so you don’t cry every time you think you need to go take care of business. Also, if you go to Safeway, ask for the generic colace from the Pharmacist. It’s the same stuff as what’s on the other side of the counter and 1/2 the price! I’m embarrassed I know so much about this.

Lastly, seeing those pictures makes me want to get pregnant again so my little man can dote on his little sibling. Beautiful.

daranaco
daranaco
14 years ago

Theory: Sweetness of baby is directly proportional to amount of ice cream consumed daily during pregnancy.

With only 6 weeks left I am waaaay behind…

victoria
victoria
14 years ago

“Hello, big brother kissing on the baby, could you DIE.” Yes, yes I could.

Kari
Kari
14 years ago

Amazing pictures, all of them. The one of Riley kissing Dylan is fantastic, of course, but also, the one of Riley by himself?

Wow. What a great looking little boy.

Kay
Kay
14 years ago

Oh yeah they start out creme brulee but they end up like Pecan Pie. A little nutty but still really sweet!
My baby is 20. I now gaze at his baby and laugh when I think of what he is in for (ok and a little jealous too).

I did not have a CS but have heard they are worse because when you are done, then the hurting begins instead of vice versa. Plus it is longer discomfort than labor pains.

Amy
Amy
14 years ago

Also, look at your completely fabulous nails! Holy crap.

(All of the pictures are the sweetest things ever, even the one of Cat. But the one of Riley and Dylan actually made me weepy!)

jonniker
14 years ago

Dylan is positively made of whipped cream. He’s DARLING. And dude, I love Riley. And still, like I said, he looks so little to me with his wee dimpled elbows. I can’t stand it.

And to the commenter above who said they noticed that JB always has an animal or a kid with him, which indicates that he’s a nice man: I agree. I’ve always noticed that, too.

Sunny
Sunny
14 years ago

Absolutely darling photos. You and JB make some darn fine babies.

MotherGooseAmy
MotherGooseAmy
14 years ago

MiraLax. That’s all I have to say.

Any opioid should be prescribed with a stool sofener. What was the doctor thinking!?

teawithdemeter
14 years ago

I am SO glad someone else talked about ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ after medicated childbirth because GOOD GOD I was on the bed crying after one particularly bad episode. Luckily it all fades away and we can forget it ever happened.

ang
ang
14 years ago

Speaking as the chronically constipated woman with baby fever…

Sundry: Poop trauma and babies? Possibly the best Blog Entry Evah! Can I come over and play with dem boys? (i mean that in the most NON-stalkerish way possible.)

H-thanks for the laugh too! I almost shot my morning high fiber bowl of oats out my nose. Seriously dude, grapefruit? french bread? I actually have a little poop envy.

Val
Val
14 years ago

OMG – didn’t you JUST tell the internet world you were prego? Boy how time flies – except when you are the prego.

He’s beautiful. What a gorgeous family. I sure hope the Riley loves his brother forever and ever even when Dylan plays with his toys.

Jennifer
14 years ago

Wow, your kids are gorgeous.

I’ve been there, done that, with the C-section recovery. It gets better. (I promise!)

Christine
14 years ago

OMG so so CUTE!! Your boys are gorgeous! Congrats!

the goddess anna
the goddess anna
14 years ago

I think I actually tasted sugar when I saw the pic of Riley kissing Dylan! Too sweet!

Re: after-birth poop – without too much tmi, just be glad it didn’t get impacted. I wanted to die.

Re: Cat – hooray for black kittehs! My black kitteh likes to bat binkies around for fun, and my son pops it in his mouth with no prior cleaning. Oh well.

Lawyerish
14 years ago

I can’t even TAKE all these sweet photos of your monchable boys.

Also, I LOVE the blanket Dylan’s wrapped in (first photo). Between the blankets and the hats and the perfect little face, it’s almost unfair how darling that baby is.

K
K
14 years ago

Word. How come no one mentions that your rectum will feel the effects long after your girly parts recover?

alla
alla
14 years ago

Hey, how is it possible that you are able to continue updating your blog and posting pictures, and .. functioning as though nothing has happened? If I remember correctly, when my daughter was Dylan’s age, I was thrilled if I could write an email in peace. You’re either really good at this, or Dylan is a really really great baby!

Danielle
14 years ago

You have gorgeous little boys!