Archives from 2002-2006

Jun

9

Navel-gazing, take infinity

The scale is reading 134 these days, which is about 20 pounds down from my weight back in February. I am feeling good about what I’ve accomplished so far, but also thinking, wow, that sure took a while. Maybe it means I’ve been doing this weight-loss effort in a sustainable, healthy way — not going hungry, eating nutritious foods, building up lots of muscle — or maybe it means my total inability to cut out the late-night snacking did not go unnoticed by the bathroom scale.

(Cool Whip Free + Battlestar Galactica = CRAZY DELICIOUS.)

No matter, though; it may have taken a bit longer than I had hoped but I am now basically back at my pre-pregnancy weight, and even more importantly, fitting back into all of my pre-pregancy clothes — even the size 6 pants that are surely vanity sized up the wazoo but dude, the label reads SIX, I’d wear them if they were made out of ASBESTOS because HELLO: SIZE 6.

Ahem.

I’m stronger than I was when I did this weight loss business last year, mostly because I didn’t have to start from ground zero this time around. I’ve also joined a gym and have been alternating different types of workouts throughout the week, to stave off boredom and also keep myself challenged. I think I’m eating better, too, sticking with a good rotation of meals that feature lean proteins/fruits/vegetables and rarely include processed carbohydrates.

(Except for Cool Whip. Shut up, I quit drinking, I quit ice cream, I WILL NOT QUIT YOU COOL WHIP.)

It feels like something I can stick with. Something I can keep doing, and see where it takes me. I feel so much better like this, not just for my improved body image but for my energy, my mental well-being, my patience, my ability to lift the 68392-lb carseat.

I am trying to be patient with the process and be friendly with my slowly-retreating belly instead of cursing its still-flabby appearance. Apparently it takes time to bounce back from the effects of stretching to accommodate the World’s Kickiest Baby, and although I’m re-building my core strength I imagine it will be a while before I feel like prancing around in a bikini.

(“A while” like “when pigs fly through the gentle snowdrifts in HELL”, that is. Bikinis, oh hell no.)

I’m not the sort of blogger who normally receives exciting freebies in the form of cameras or Wiis or ten minutes in a dark closet with Ewan McGregor (although I would like to make it clear to any interested PR executives looking for someone to review the experience of ten minutes in a dark closet with Ewan McGregor that I am totally willing to accept the burden of this assignment at any time) but I did recently get a offer to try out a non-surgical body shaping/cellulite reducing treatment. The offer was quite generous, allowing me to receive four expensive treatments for free with no obligation to recommend or even review the experience.

I thought pretty seriously about accepting the offer and trying out the procedure on my belly, but ultimately decided not to. Not because I think there’s anything wrong with cosmetic (or surgical) treatments, but because I guess it seemed kind of — I don’t know, almost sort of rude to myself in some way, to say, well, I’ve tried doing some crunches but fuck it, this shit isn’t going anywhere EVER, time to visit the medical salon. I’ve accomplished a lot, health- and body-shaping-wise, why not give myself the benefit of believing that I’ll be able to achieve even more in the next weeks and months?

It’s so easy to fall off the wagon when it comes to fitness and eating well, and part of what helps me keep feeling successful is focusing on the fact that I’m doing something positive for myself every time I cook a healthy dinner or strap on my sneakers. I’m learning that I can do more than I thought possible — I can run longer, I can lift a heavier weight, I can put in an exercise DVD even when I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the things I should be working on instead. I am teaching my kids about living a healthy lifestyle, I am fueling my body a thousand times better than I used to, I am taking proactive steps to pursue what I know helps me be a happier person . . . those feel like good things, the right things. A cellulite treatment seems like a step backwards for me, an unnecessary pinhole focus on a perceived fault — one that shouldn’t even be taking up space in my head right now.

That said, if my belly still looks like a partially deflated balloon a year from now, I’ll at least be able to say I tried my best, and either learn to live with it or check out other options. Never say never, unless it comes to wearing bikinis.

Jun

6

Freshly released

Filed Under Uncategorized | 30 Comments

We were watching So You Think You Can Dance last night — well, I was watching it and JB was manfully commenting on the various boobs and ass-cracks and so on; I wouldn’t want you to think he was legitimately entertained by some dancing show — and towards the end there was this mention of a corporate sponsor, and we had to hit pause because did they just say . . . SNUGGLE with FRESH RELEASE?

Yes, yes they did (do not click that link unless you want to be barraged with ridiculous audio, I include it only to prove the existence of this campaign).

Okay, I know I am twelve years old but COME ON. Snuggle with fresh release? I am having a hard time imagining that at no point during this product’s rollout did one single person tentatively raise their hand and say, hey, I’m really sorry to be the one to take it there, but is anyone else considering the semen-soaked implications of this brand identity?

Maybe it was the best of the bunch, you know? Maybe they nixed Snuggle with Happy Ending, and Snuggle with Nocturnal Emissions, and the immediately-discarded Kleenex/fabric softener cross-marketing concept, Snuggle with Facial Shot.

By the way, apparently for a while there you could even get a TWO LOAD sample of FRESH RELEASE.

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Weekly Elsewhere Blogging:

• The joy of potty training and the annoyance of those What to Expect books at ParentDish
• Arm-toning exercises at Gather.com
• Time-saving kitchen products at Work It, Mom!

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The weather is supposed to suck all weekend long. I suspect there will be a lot of this going on in our house: