Dec
12
Let me tell you about the incredible day I had yesterday.
I woke up with sunlight pouring in, we’ve had a number of gorgeously mild days in a row here. I got ready for the barn, and drove to visit M on my way. He’s my current hospice assignment; 80 and living in a memory care facility. I’m not sure what has ravaged his health, he’s in a wheelchair and pretty fragile but capable of good short conversation.
When I signed in, I gave the front desk worker a little gift cup of hot chocolate fixings. (To be honest, a re-gift from a hospice holiday party, but it was cute and I’m always trying to think of small things to hand out to the tired caregivers) She brightened up and got to talking with me about her grandchildren, she’s just 40 but has several already. On my way back out, she had one little guy crawling on the desk with her, and her young daughter stood nearby with a ripe round belly. “See, another on the way,” her mom said, her face a complicated combo of resignation and delight.
M was up for lunch and I brought him out to the main room, where residents were served some just-okay looking trays of stew. We were talking a bit about one of his old jobs — he has some amazing history, from driving around the country in a VW van during the 60’s to being a ship photographer on a boat that cruised up and down the entire Missisippi — and he mentioned that he had a bunch of old photos we could look at. I went and looked around in his room and sure enough, tucked down on the bottom shelf of a cabinet, an old cardboard box jam-packed with photo prints.
What a treasure trove this was. He must have hundreds in there, an archeological gift of his past. He was able to tell me about every picture I held up; there were shots of deep blue glaciers in Alaska, people on riverbanks, workers from his time on a fishing rig, friends and family, and photo after photo of handsome young full-mustachio’d M with knock-dead gorgeous women. “I never did have a problem flirting,” he told me, his eyes twinkling. Boy, I guess.
He clearly enjoyed this and I sure did too, and now we have something special to do every time I visit. Before I left, I wheeled him outside so we could both tilt our heads to the sun and feel it on our faces. “I like spending time with you,” he told me. “I like spending time with you,” I said truthtfully. “I am so glad I met you, M.”
“It was just one of those ‘spose to be’s,” he said, and we kissed each other on the cheek.
I felt almost too full of good feelings to do anything else, but went on to the barn where the good weather made up for the pervasive mud and I got Little Joe’s stall cleaned up and took him for a ride outside where I was brave enough to canter him through a field for the first time. Cool air, saddle creaking, birds rising into the sky, sweet Joe Baloney the Show Pony flicking his soft ears and feeling in perfect harmony with his rhythms. One of the very best rides I’ve had.
When I got home I texted Dylan and he swung by for a short visit, playing with Billy and politely refusing the sweet treats I always press on him in favor for some prosciutto (?!). We had just been out to dinner the night before, and I dragged him through the mall with me afterwards where we stumbled upon a choir of women singing Christmas carols, the acoustics a shockingly perfect venue for their angelic tones.
Later, I watched another my-choice-only movie while eating an absolutely crazy delicious concoction of Dubai chocolate flavored popcorn that I’d impulse-bought at Cost Plus World Market mixed with lemon Noose yogurt. Don’t knock it, it was the most wonderful combination of too-sweet and tart, creamy and pillowy-crunchy. The balmy weather had made the house a little stuffy so I gluttonously turned the AC on to 67 degrees for a while, just because I could.
I had a few spicy just-for-me texts to relish. I exchanged some funny messages with friends, I made plans for Friday night. I took a bubble-filled bath and danced to Marina’s Princess of Power album (I am OBSESSED). I played with my beloved Billy and cuddled him in bed while scrolling TikToks.
Some days have felt so heavy, but this one — light as a dream, more rich and textured than any fantasy, so damn good I had to write it down and make sure I remember it.
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love everything about this.
What a wonderful day.
How glorious. Thank you for sharing. I loved all of it, but especially your visit with Marty.
What a lovely day. I have been reading you since 2002, after you won some comedy blog award, but have never commented. People who volunteer or work at hospice are angels. My wife(the first girl I kissed; the last girl I kissed) of 54 years finished her life at a hospice facility. You have inspired me to get out more. Thank you.
You are such a fantastic writer, please write a novel! And thank you for spending time with hospice patients. Most people avoid them.
You and your hospice patient; you and your horse; you and your cat; you and your sons! Stumbling upon carolers! Everything about this (except the snack, shudder, to each their own!) is perfect.
Some TikTok wisdom to pass on, ‘it’s not going to hurt me seeing you with someone else, because I know how you are.’
like all your posts, this is wonderfully written and I can feel all the feelings