oh riley and his suspiciousness. it is very adorable, but i don’t have to parent the suspiciousness so that probably makes it cuter. at least you know if there is a future ZOMBIE issue, his vigilance will be an asset. i was a late pooper too (jeez, i think it was like kindergarten) and i think it becomes a control thing. it will happen eventually, as frustrating as it is for you now.

I don’t know if you’re even reading these later comments, but I would like to concur with what my hubby said further up about Reeve and also make one suggestion: put him to bed/nap with no pants,underwear or pullup on at all. It seemed to work ok with Reeve b/c he never had an accident when he wasn’t wearing something. It seems like they have an aversion to pooping out in the open or something like that.

On an unrelated note, it’s supposed to be 75 here in SC today and I’m sorta envious of your snow. It’s hard to get in the holiday spirit when one is wearing flip flops.

I’m not there yet with my son, who is two, but our doctor said as soon as they hit three you make them responsible for cleaning themselves up – literally. Seems harsh, but I’m going to try it! The 4.5 year old boy at my sons daycare is just now fully trained, that’s too old in my opinion.

You’re describing our life, seriously. Thank God.

Pee in the potty? No problem. He’s a champ. I don’t even remember his last accident. But we’re still in pull-ups at nap and nighttime, because that’s the only place he’ll poop. And then he’ll immediately open the door and shout that I need to come clean him up. Thanks, kid.

We’re just waiting it out. The more we pushed/cajoled/begged/withheld the pull-up, the more he just HELD IT IN, for DAYS. He’s now on a hefty dose of Miralax and at least now seems to be BOTHERED by the presence of poop in his pants (he used to just sleep with it, all night if we didn’t go in to check). So I’m taking that as progress, and just waiting for him to take the next step when he’s ready.

My experience was with a stubborn boy too! He was completely comfortable peeing in the toilet (and no daytime accidents with that even). But, had no desire to poop in the toilet and was very stubborn about it. We started telling him around 3 1/2 that when he turned 4, the nighttime pullups were going to be gone. And, on his 4th birthday, we had a great day; and then that night, he went to bed without a pullup. We didn’t make a big deal of it…just very matter-of-factly put him to bed like always, except with no pullup. He seemed to accept it (I think it helped that there wasn’t a big hoopla about no pullup being used that night), and started to poop in the potty. Good luck!

Well, Sundry, I have no advice other than wait it out but I have a lot of sympathy for you. I felt some kind of kinship with you when I read this because the theme at our house is “Cold Days, Potty Troubles” and you know why? It is so damn cold here, like never above zero cold, and our dog refuses to shit. He stands and shivers with his tail clamped over his butthole until we get so cold we can’t stand there any longer. I love my dog to death and I would never really hurt him, but I am so DAMN frustrated. I told my husband I don’t care how he gets the shit out of that dog, but he’s getting the shit out of that dog before we have a house full of it. I’m your sister-in-poop-frustration right now.

We did the waiting thing as well, ’cause both boys did it when they were good and ready. And at different ages. One was 2, and one was 3 1/2. But a few things we did while waiting… One of my sons had trouble with constipation. So – during the day (shoot me trolls now) we loaded him on apple juice instead. For a normal child, this would make them sick or give them the runs – for my kid it made things a little… easier. What kid wants to poop if it hurts? And then at certain times of the day (sounds like before bed for you) we took a hard line, and sat on the potty, with me on the floor too, and read books for a full 15 minutes. There was no choice – whine cry all you want. But with the apple juice making things feel more urgent, and yet, less painful, sometimes it would just do it on it’s own and lo the praise was bountiful. Another thing we did was switch where. One child refused the toilet, and the other child refused the potty chair. In the end (heh) overall we had the same philosophy as what we’re doing right now with crawling into bed in the middle of the night. No self-respecting 13 year old is going to be sleeping in bed with his parents (or wearing a diaper.)

There are way too many comments here for me to see if someone has already mentioned this, but my friend was going through the same tihng with her boy. What finally worked for her was giving him some privacy. He didn’t like for her to watch him poop. She sat him down, wakled away and shut the door. He yelled for her when he needed wiped. It’s a long shot, and I have no idea Riley’s personality (for example, I would never ever walk away from my youngest and leave her alone with her poop. no telling what she’d do) but it worked for her…

I’m with the others when they say don’t worry, the pooping on the potty will happen. Both my boys (now 15 and 8) didn’t poop on the potty until they were 4. It will happen.

we put a little potty in the bedroom for just this reason. a stack of books next to it. just ignore the situation and then clean up matter of factly. the more we invest in the situation, the more emotionally loaded and powerful it becomes to our children.

oh, and keeping a child on the potty can really backfire. the position causes swelling and makes it difficult to void.

-mother of 4 and MD

Wow – this sure unleashed a s*&tstorm. Sorry – I could not resist. Good luck – he’ll figure it out.

I know, crazy wasn’t it. And now today it’s blue skies. My parents have two tow comapnies in south east Seattle and it was busier than crap. People think somehow that if they can’t get up a one of the many steep hills around here in their car that just because their hooked to a truck it’ll work. Ha.

I came across your blog and honey your heading stuck with me… Major laughs at the potty trouble… With a 3 year old and 3 week old… I’ve been there and still have yet to succeed…

Love your posts! Love the blog!

Never really had that issue – mine was my second boy who did a good job getting out of diapers but just would not ever attempt to wipe himself after pooping – for a very long time – i think for at least a year after potty training i was still hearing the long drawn out yell from the bathroom “I neeeeeeeeed to wwwwiiiiiiiiiiiipe!” At age near 5 that gets real old! At those moments the boy was lucky I didn’t just punt him out the front door. Here’s to hoping for you that once Riley actually poos in the pot he will also be able to get the hang of wiping as well! Good luck my friend!

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I didn’t read through all the comments to see if anybody has mentioned this but could it be you are paying too much attention the pooping? Pooping is embarrassing for everybody. Maybe he just needs some privacy in the bathroom?

If I had two people coercing me to poop in the bathroom with me, I would refuse to do it too.

I HAVE NO IDEA ON THE POOPING. But I offer a VERY sympathetic shoulder to cry on, as we have been dealing with it for a YEAR. My son turns 4 in Feb. My new plan is to buy him a Leapster that he can ONLY play when sitting on the potty, because he screams, whines, cries, and says it’s boring on the potty.

I heard about a woman who runs a potty-training boot camp in Wisconsin, where kids learn how to use the potty in a day. Her philosophy is that at some point, it becomes a decision, not an accident, and that a decision to go in one’s pants is unacceptable. If he goes in his pants at nap or bedtime and you think he could choose to do differently, I believe her suggestion would be to have him clean up the mess.

I don’t have any of my own kids, but I do teach autistic preschoolers. We have potty trained by finding their most most most most beloved toy/food/candy/whatever and ONLY letting them have it when they go on the potty. This only works if you are really consistent about witholding it when they have not gone, but once they realize what they need to do to get it, it doesn’t take long. I’m not sure if this would work as well for a typical kid who doesn’t perseverate on things, but maybe it’s worth a try? Also, I saw a commenter above suggest Miralax… I obviously can’t do this at school, but if you are not opposed to it, it might give him more chances to be successful.

So,that video? Funniest thing ever. I love at the end when Dylan just topples over on the floor, big grin on his face the entire time.

Shawna — I potty trained my neice about 10 years ago, her parents didn’t want to take the time to do it, and I was changing most of her diapers anyway. I think I read the book Toilet Training in Less Than A Day. It was either that one or the three day book. Basically I told her that she was going to learn to go to the bathroom on the potty and start wearing big girl panties (Care bears!) I’m not going to be very helpfull explaning what we did that day, I definitely recommend the book, but the key was after that day she was in big girl panties no matter what. When she had an accident, she cleaned it up and then would need to practice going from wherever she had the accident to the potty three times, and she was responsible for rinsing out her panties in the bathroom sink. This wasn’t framed as punishment at all. She didn’t have more than a handfull of accidents, and after the 3rd day, didn’t have any.

Same trouble with a stubborn boy who is now four. He will go when he’s ready. And just so you know, the first poop was a joyous occasion marked with a parade and new toys and not another poop in the toilet until two months later. So yeah, when he’s ready. Just keep encouraging. Don’t stress.

Alright here’s the deal, home-slice only craps when he sleeps or takes naps, so just combine where he goes with when he goes. Duct tape him on the potty every time he takes a nap or goes to bed. This may not seem like a very child friendly approach, but it beats the hell out of my first idea of punching him in the stomach until he poops in the lawn, and then hosing him off and tossing him through the window onto his bed for some quick naptime. (or else he gets the hose again)

Same deal here, Linda. I think I’ve commented at some point before about this. We have been trying to get Katie to poop on the toilet (regularly) for at least TWO YEARS NOW. And we’re still not there. We’ve had some joyous celebrations over big poops that we’ve coaxed out of her. We’ve had a couple of exciting times when we were putting no pressure on and she went to the bathroom and pooped all on her own. It didn’t stick. Just last month we finally decided no more diapers at all. It was underwear or the toilet. And let me tell you, if that’s the choice? She often has no problem using the underwear. We really don’t want to go back to diapers now, and at least she *tries* on the toilet now with regularity. We have tried every suggestion above plus a lot more, and I’m guessing the final answer is that she just has to be ready. But for crap’s sake, I really, REALLY hope she is ready before she is five. Less than 3 months to go. (Please, please god.)

All I know is that they seem to do it when they are ready. Charlotte has only been consistent with the poop for about 3 months and she will be 5 in January. Not a dumb kid, just a stubborn take your time, I WILL DO THIS WHEN I WANT type of kid. But it was hard as fuck not to be 1) annoyed and 2) patient.

xo

We are going through the EXACT same thing you are. My son is super bright, but for some reason when it gets to the poop in potty he goes all “I have no idea what you want” and “That’s just not happening”. He will wear undies all day (except when my other half forgets to put him in it because we are consistent like that). I figure that when yours is trained i will pull the internet up to him and say “There now stop stalling!”.

Hi there, I am so greatful for this post and all of the responses. We have been going thru this with my second little one. Her brother did not do this. She is just about 2.5 and she waits for either nap time or bed time to go in a pull up. We have tried EVERYTHING!!!! (so I thought) I finally bit the bullet and took them away. Decided that I would deal with the mess. No mess. She just started pooping in the potty for the first time on day one like it was nothing. Day one, nap time.. Dry- no poop. Bed time, 20 min after putting her to bed she called for me and pooped on the toilet. She was so proud. And I did not push her at all. Peice of cake. I may be pulling my hair out in the middle of the night when we are covered in pee… but I hope not!!! Seems like out 6 month problem may be solved in one day just by ditching the pull ups. So thanks to your readers!!! And good luck to you!
Side note, we are in Puyallup.. will this damn snow ever go away???

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