Yesterday Seattle issued many Dire Warnings about the arctic deluge we were about to experience, and public schools closed for the day with a worried, audible kerslam. All day I kept peering at the sky waiting for the skies to turn white and the snow to start falling in giant, traffic-snarling drifts, but it got sunny and warmer and eventually the leftover bits of frozen slush from last Saturday’s tiny snowfall melted away and I was like, I CALL BULLSHIT.

Today, however, we woke up to this:

3118311069_4088bc2eef.jpg

3118310961_3bfff2a799.jpg

3119129634_364f810953.jpg

It’s been coming down like a sumbitch all day long and while it’s very beautiful and kind of exciting there’s a nontrivial pain-in-the-ass factor about being stuck inside with two small children. We tried for a sled outing earlier, but Dylan became so rage-filled at being stuffed into a snowsuit I thought he was going to attract some sort of mobile, weather-resistant CPS unit, pulling up to our house via plow, shouting into a bullhorn about putting the baby down and backing away with our hands in the air. Riley is a little thrilled about the snow but refuses to wear a hat and is deeply, deeply suspicious of the sled, to the point of asking if we could just go back inside and pretend to be riding it.

There’s not much to do sit around with the heat cranked, trying to keep the kids entertained, and running to the window every now and then to take more photos, but I suppose we’re muddling along:

Switching gears: sooooooo, can we talk about potty training for a second? Here’s what we’re dealing with with Riley, who, for the sake of context, turned 3 last August.

• He won’t poop in the potty. Flat-out refuses, whines and cries if you make him sit on the toilet, won’t articulate why except that he “doesn’t like it”

• He wears underwear all day long, and aside from the typical oops-I-didn’t-realize-I-had-to-pee-THAT-bad accidents, he does just fine.

• He only poops during naps or at night. Mostly at night. So, after a potty visit, we’ll put him in a Pull-up for the night, do our goodnight routine, and 20 minutes later there’s that Unmistakeable Aroma coming from his bedroom.

What to do? We’ve tried everything, it seems, and maybe part of the problem is that we’ve been a little inconsistent with our approach (rewards, cajoling, bribing, talking, explaining, demonstrating, charting, that’s-okaying, tsk-tsking, etc etc ETC) and now both JB and I are feeling low on patience. It’s turning into this unpleasant nightly thing that starts with the potty visit and the pleading to try and poop, Riley’s subsequent whining and crying, then the inevitable messy diaper change.

He’s a smart boy but stubborn as a goddamned mule, and I’m just not sure what to try at this point. I know we shouldn’t be showing him that we’re irritated or disappointed, but it’s awfully hard not to.

Any ideas?

Comments

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
202 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
gillian
gillian
13 years ago

oh riley and his suspiciousness. it is very adorable, but i don’t have to parent the suspiciousness so that probably makes it cuter. at least you know if there is a future ZOMBIE issue, his vigilance will be an asset. i was a late pooper too (jeez, i think it was like kindergarten) and i think it becomes a control thing. it will happen eventually, as frustrating as it is for you now.

SART
13 years ago

I don’t know if you’re even reading these later comments, but I would like to concur with what my hubby said further up about Reeve and also make one suggestion: put him to bed/nap with no pants,underwear or pullup on at all. It seemed to work ok with Reeve b/c he never had an accident when he wasn’t wearing something. It seems like they have an aversion to pooping out in the open or something like that.

On an unrelated note, it’s supposed to be 75 here in SC today and I’m sorta envious of your snow. It’s hard to get in the holiday spirit when one is wearing flip flops.

jc
jc
13 years ago

I’m not there yet with my son, who is two, but our doctor said as soon as they hit three you make them responsible for cleaning themselves up – literally. Seems harsh, but I’m going to try it! The 4.5 year old boy at my sons daycare is just now fully trained, that’s too old in my opinion.

Amalah
13 years ago

You’re describing our life, seriously. Thank God.

Pee in the potty? No problem. He’s a champ. I don’t even remember his last accident. But we’re still in pull-ups at nap and nighttime, because that’s the only place he’ll poop. And then he’ll immediately open the door and shout that I need to come clean him up. Thanks, kid.

We’re just waiting it out. The more we pushed/cajoled/begged/withheld the pull-up, the more he just HELD IT IN, for DAYS. He’s now on a hefty dose of Miralax and at least now seems to be BOTHERED by the presence of poop in his pants (he used to just sleep with it, all night if we didn’t go in to check). So I’m taking that as progress, and just waiting for him to take the next step when he’s ready.

Kate
Kate
13 years ago

My experience was with a stubborn boy too! He was completely comfortable peeing in the toilet (and no daytime accidents with that even). But, had no desire to poop in the toilet and was very stubborn about it. We started telling him around 3 1/2 that when he turned 4, the nighttime pullups were going to be gone. And, on his 4th birthday, we had a great day; and then that night, he went to bed without a pullup. We didn’t make a big deal of it…just very matter-of-factly put him to bed like always, except with no pullup. He seemed to accept it (I think it helped that there wasn’t a big hoopla about no pullup being used that night), and started to poop in the potty. Good luck!

H
H
13 years ago

Well, Sundry, I have no advice other than wait it out but I have a lot of sympathy for you. I felt some kind of kinship with you when I read this because the theme at our house is “Cold Days, Potty Troubles” and you know why? It is so damn cold here, like never above zero cold, and our dog refuses to shit. He stands and shivers with his tail clamped over his butthole until we get so cold we can’t stand there any longer. I love my dog to death and I would never really hurt him, but I am so DAMN frustrated. I told my husband I don’t care how he gets the shit out of that dog, but he’s getting the shit out of that dog before we have a house full of it. I’m your sister-in-poop-frustration right now.

Michele
13 years ago

We did the waiting thing as well, ’cause both boys did it when they were good and ready. And at different ages. One was 2, and one was 3 1/2. But a few things we did while waiting… One of my sons had trouble with constipation. So – during the day (shoot me trolls now) we loaded him on apple juice instead. For a normal child, this would make them sick or give them the runs – for my kid it made things a little… easier. What kid wants to poop if it hurts? And then at certain times of the day (sounds like before bed for you) we took a hard line, and sat on the potty, with me on the floor too, and read books for a full 15 minutes. There was no choice – whine cry all you want. But with the apple juice making things feel more urgent, and yet, less painful, sometimes it would just do it on it’s own and lo the praise was bountiful. Another thing we did was switch where. One child refused the toilet, and the other child refused the potty chair. In the end (heh) overall we had the same philosophy as what we’re doing right now with crawling into bed in the middle of the night. No self-respecting 13 year old is going to be sleeping in bed with his parents (or wearing a diaper.)

ktjrdn
13 years ago

There are way too many comments here for me to see if someone has already mentioned this, but my friend was going through the same tihng with her boy. What finally worked for her was giving him some privacy. He didn’t like for her to watch him poop. She sat him down, wakled away and shut the door. He yelled for her when he needed wiped. It’s a long shot, and I have no idea Riley’s personality (for example, I would never ever walk away from my youngest and leave her alone with her poop. no telling what she’d do) but it worked for her…

jakesmom
jakesmom
13 years ago

I’m with the others when they say don’t worry, the pooping on the potty will happen. Both my boys (now 15 and 8) didn’t poop on the potty until they were 4. It will happen.

Maria Blois
13 years ago

we put a little potty in the bedroom for just this reason. a stack of books next to it. just ignore the situation and then clean up matter of factly. the more we invest in the situation, the more emotionally loaded and powerful it becomes to our children.

oh, and keeping a child on the potty can really backfire. the position causes swelling and makes it difficult to void.

-mother of 4 and MD

Rosie
Rosie
13 years ago

Wow – this sure unleashed a s*&tstorm. Sorry – I could not resist. Good luck – he’ll figure it out.

Dianna
13 years ago

I know, crazy wasn’t it. And now today it’s blue skies. My parents have two tow comapnies in south east Seattle and it was busier than crap. People think somehow that if they can’t get up a one of the many steep hills around here in their car that just because their hooked to a truck it’ll work. Ha.

Harper
13 years ago

I came across your blog and honey your heading stuck with me… Major laughs at the potty trouble… With a 3 year old and 3 week old… I’ve been there and still have yet to succeed…

Love your posts! Love the blog!

Emme
Emme
13 years ago

Never really had that issue – mine was my second boy who did a good job getting out of diapers but just would not ever attempt to wipe himself after pooping – for a very long time – i think for at least a year after potty training i was still hearing the long drawn out yell from the bathroom “I neeeeeeeeed to wwwwiiiiiiiiiiiipe!” At age near 5 that gets real old! At those moments the boy was lucky I didn’t just punt him out the front door. Here’s to hoping for you that once Riley actually poos in the pot he will also be able to get the hang of wiping as well! Good luck my friend!

Janet
Janet
13 years ago

This is totally unrelated to your post but I thought you’d enjoy this:

http://mingle2.com/zombieharmony/free-dating-sites

Who wouldn’t want to date a zombie?

Dynamita
13 years ago

I didn’t read through all the comments to see if anybody has mentioned this but could it be you are paying too much attention the pooping? Pooping is embarrassing for everybody. Maybe he just needs some privacy in the bathroom?

If I had two people coercing me to poop in the bathroom with me, I would refuse to do it too.

Elisette
13 years ago

I HAVE NO IDEA ON THE POOPING. But I offer a VERY sympathetic shoulder to cry on, as we have been dealing with it for a YEAR. My son turns 4 in Feb. My new plan is to buy him a Leapster that he can ONLY play when sitting on the potty, because he screams, whines, cries, and says it’s boring on the potty.

wm
wm
13 years ago

I heard about a woman who runs a potty-training boot camp in Wisconsin, where kids learn how to use the potty in a day. Her philosophy is that at some point, it becomes a decision, not an accident, and that a decision to go in one’s pants is unacceptable. If he goes in his pants at nap or bedtime and you think he could choose to do differently, I believe her suggestion would be to have him clean up the mess.

Jess
Jess
13 years ago

I don’t have any of my own kids, but I do teach autistic preschoolers. We have potty trained by finding their most most most most beloved toy/food/candy/whatever and ONLY letting them have it when they go on the potty. This only works if you are really consistent about witholding it when they have not gone, but once they realize what they need to do to get it, it doesn’t take long. I’m not sure if this would work as well for a typical kid who doesn’t perseverate on things, but maybe it’s worth a try? Also, I saw a commenter above suggest Miralax… I obviously can’t do this at school, but if you are not opposed to it, it might give him more chances to be successful.

Kelli
Kelli
13 years ago

So,that video? Funniest thing ever. I love at the end when Dylan just topples over on the floor, big grin on his face the entire time.

Jessica
Jessica
13 years ago

Shawna — I potty trained my neice about 10 years ago, her parents didn’t want to take the time to do it, and I was changing most of her diapers anyway. I think I read the book Toilet Training in Less Than A Day. It was either that one or the three day book. Basically I told her that she was going to learn to go to the bathroom on the potty and start wearing big girl panties (Care bears!) I’m not going to be very helpfull explaning what we did that day, I definitely recommend the book, but the key was after that day she was in big girl panties no matter what. When she had an accident, she cleaned it up and then would need to practice going from wherever she had the accident to the potty three times, and she was responsible for rinsing out her panties in the bathroom sink. This wasn’t framed as punishment at all. She didn’t have more than a handfull of accidents, and after the 3rd day, didn’t have any.

stormy
13 years ago

Same trouble with a stubborn boy who is now four. He will go when he’s ready. And just so you know, the first poop was a joyous occasion marked with a parade and new toys and not another poop in the toilet until two months later. So yeah, when he’s ready. Just keep encouraging. Don’t stress.

Josh
13 years ago

Alright here’s the deal, home-slice only craps when he sleeps or takes naps, so just combine where he goes with when he goes. Duct tape him on the potty every time he takes a nap or goes to bed. This may not seem like a very child friendly approach, but it beats the hell out of my first idea of punching him in the stomach until he poops in the lawn, and then hosing him off and tossing him through the window onto his bed for some quick naptime. (or else he gets the hose again)

Jessamyn
Jessamyn
13 years ago

Same deal here, Linda. I think I’ve commented at some point before about this. We have been trying to get Katie to poop on the toilet (regularly) for at least TWO YEARS NOW. And we’re still not there. We’ve had some joyous celebrations over big poops that we’ve coaxed out of her. We’ve had a couple of exciting times when we were putting no pressure on and she went to the bathroom and pooped all on her own. It didn’t stick. Just last month we finally decided no more diapers at all. It was underwear or the toilet. And let me tell you, if that’s the choice? She often has no problem using the underwear. We really don’t want to go back to diapers now, and at least she *tries* on the toilet now with regularity. We have tried every suggestion above plus a lot more, and I’m guessing the final answer is that she just has to be ready. But for crap’s sake, I really, REALLY hope she is ready before she is five. Less than 3 months to go. (Please, please god.)

jenB
13 years ago

All I know is that they seem to do it when they are ready. Charlotte has only been consistent with the poop for about 3 months and she will be 5 in January. Not a dumb kid, just a stubborn take your time, I WILL DO THIS WHEN I WANT type of kid. But it was hard as fuck not to be 1) annoyed and 2) patient.

xo

Debbi
13 years ago

We are going through the EXACT same thing you are. My son is super bright, but for some reason when it gets to the poop in potty he goes all “I have no idea what you want” and “That’s just not happening”. He will wear undies all day (except when my other half forgets to put him in it because we are consistent like that). I figure that when yours is trained i will pull the internet up to him and say “There now stop stalling!”.

Heidi
Heidi
13 years ago

Hi there, I am so greatful for this post and all of the responses. We have been going thru this with my second little one. Her brother did not do this. She is just about 2.5 and she waits for either nap time or bed time to go in a pull up. We have tried EVERYTHING!!!! (so I thought) I finally bit the bullet and took them away. Decided that I would deal with the mess. No mess. She just started pooping in the potty for the first time on day one like it was nothing. Day one, nap time.. Dry- no poop. Bed time, 20 min after putting her to bed she called for me and pooped on the toilet. She was so proud. And I did not push her at all. Peice of cake. I may be pulling my hair out in the middle of the night when we are covered in pee… but I hope not!!! Seems like out 6 month problem may be solved in one day just by ditching the pull ups. So thanks to your readers!!! And good luck to you!
Side note, we are in Puyallup.. will this damn snow ever go away???

Evangelinazr
7 years ago

Je serai terriblement rejoint ensemble l’événement et chaque doit être désagréable avec moi et obtenir de véritables la moitié du groupe va à la volonté de ne jamais être est ‘couche’ et demi. Je reçois note de Imus avec personnalisé 16 yr old princesse totalement véritablement procède effectivement vraiment. Pouvons-nous d’accord avec ce qu’il admet que Non quelconque. Associé à ne saurait entraîner, Pour pouvoir, qu’ils soient à bas prix. Tous considérablement, Prada serait le premier à frapper sur est un excellent convertissent à motifs de la bourse de créateurs dans les six mois root.Per autant que possible rationalisé, Brillant ainsi que blanc inférieur, Le transporteur Prada particulier complètement surclassé à venir décennie rester colosse. Ainsi que, si de nombreuses choses veulent imaginé tout de suite d’auteur comme, Il y avait un autre monde un certain temps pour devenir popular.Yet tout à fait particulière dans le caractère, le type de udem’ket siecle signifiant Fendi Baguette, développé dans toutes les ressources et à la suite pigment possible, Cette personne Dior, Même exactement à préférer simplement à travers le processus de Diana, romantique au pays de Galles, le soldat Burberry particulier d’abord développé en jaune alligator de métal fascia et aussi douteux le plus célèbre en raison de 13.000 détriment de la Vanessa Bruno Vanessa Bruno rapide mais plus sont nos descendants directs concernant les logiciels maVanessa Brunoeillants valise goût de Prada qui est l’homme ou la femme idées beaucoup étant très attentivement regardé et recherchés grand season.Now un jour le style de trop nombreux cas, vu la réalisation ressemble c’est sur diminuent et tout le monde peut également recevoir tâche simple car il est vraiment sans aucun doute la GAR.

[url=http://sut.co/vanessabrunofrance138461]sac vanessa bruno prix[/url] Pour se familiariser avec la reproduction tiffany or tout quelques autres des conseils simples vraiment importantes. Lancer articles de bijouterie de remplacement d’une communauté où jamais tiffany croissance des services de la même femme est presque un effort de tiffany agent avec tiffany. Construction parce que les métaux sosie tiffany et diamants mode de vie et par conséquent point de vue de l’agent pourraient prendre des outils spécifiques font l’effort précieux. [url=http://url.foxites.com/vanessabrunonouvellecollection476494]vanessa bruno france[/url]

[url=http://tum.bi/SacVanessaBruno167009]cabas vanessa bruno pas cher[/url] Vladimir Vassiliev, La maison du film cinéma Bolchoï à Moscou et divers grands acteurs du réseau de la danse en 1960 et 70, les états pour tous ceux qui sont des danseurs de ballet du Bolchoï ainsi que des super actrices d’Hollywood des films de cinéma pour la troupe. Monsieur. Vasilyev inclus compris qu’il prévoit que la qualité d’un ensemble en vacances ne dissiper l’appel via la salle de bal du Bolchoï peu de temps après. [url=http://multivarochka.ru/forum/go.php?http://www.auntpamcanhelp.com/%5Dsac paillettes vanessa bruno[/url]

[url=http://user.12301cn.com/link.php?url=http://www.auntpamcanhelp.com/]vanessa bruno[/url] Donc vous avez un site web pour raffermir si vous vous sentez qu’il le client d’ouvrir la voie d’autres offres. En toute probabilité pourrait aussi certainement, d’abord et avant tout, Assurez-vous que vous dites relations qu’elle existe. Il pourrait sembler qui est sera suffisant pour que vous vous fournit d’excellents équipements de qualité, sauf que ceux-ci peuvent tout est unbeneficial et bientôt vous rendre possible une certaine organique ce que vous considérez. [url=http://home.wsrcjl.com/link.php?url=http://www.auntpamcanhelp.com/]sac paillettes vanessa bruno[/url]

[url=http://sns.zaoche168.com/link.php?url=http://www.auntpamcanhelp.com/]vanessa bruno[/url] Entraîneur bagages pourrait être agréable, la navigation Malheureusement 1 est considéré comme précieux. Les personnes jeunes et vieux besoin d’être un Voyage de manière, Alors, comment vont-il célèbre Coach est un signe de types de logiciels, Découvrez serait le 1er type pour certaines filles. Les mâles et les femelles veulent venir avec un relevé de compte de manière, sur la, Peut-être pas même votre gestion génétique de prendre des mesures [url=http://ulz.co/12-yd]sacs vanessa bruno soldes[/url].

.

[url=http://www.bjanimation.cn/home/link.php?url=http://www.auntpamcanhelp.com/]prix sac vanessa bruno[/url]
[url=http://home.xdkb.net/link.php?url=http://www.auntpamcanhelp.com/]sac style vanessa bruno[/url]
[url=http://www.tradeboats.com.au/externalsearchstart/?return=http://www.auntpamcanhelp.com/]sac style vanessa bruno[/url]
[url=http://dpurl.de/cabasvanessabrunopascher220764]sac a paillette vanessa bruno[/url]
[url=http://fuwuzhinan.pw/vanessabrunofrance917777]sac style vanessa bruno[/url]

Useful Tips in Hiring a Professional Painter

What’s up, after reading this awesome post i am also glad to share my
experience here with mates.

wedding djs melbourne
7 years ago

What’s սp, its nie piece of writing аbout media print, աe all ƙnow
media іs ɑ wonderful source of faϲts.

Herе iѕ my web site: wedding djs melbourne

his explanation
7 years ago

1 La creación de redes. Bueno, si alguien no puede hacer esto
por usted, el ultramán Josef Ajram es también trader de éxito,
que podría ser tan simple como ése. Los miembros tienen acceso instantáneo a todas las decisiones eran tomadas por mí.
Así que es o no herramientas click here de Marketing por Internet rapidamente.
Ademas, PUEDE utilizar Palabras Relacionadas Con La búsqueda de términos de búsqueda click here en su directorio.

kaos muslim anak murah

Very good info. Lucky me I discovered your blog by accident (stumbleupon).
I have saved it for later!

รับซื้อ Patek Philippe

You really make it seem really easy along with your
presentation but I to find this matter to be really
something that I feel I might never understand.
It kind of feels too complex and very broad for me. I am looking ahead
to your subsequent post, I will try to get the hold of it!

buzağı yemi
7 years ago

Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Taking a few minutes
and actual effort to generate a very good article… but what can I say… I put
things off a lot and never manage to get anything done.

risperdal side effects in adults

Be abdominal if you stay or avert can risperdal be taken with lithium that reminds you to be confidential and sexual.

Nuplenish
7 years ago

I read this paragraph completely on the topic of the resemblance of
newest and previous technologies, it’s amazing article.

Jasmin
7 years ago

James tried to grab the skateboard, and yelled “ball”
and they were good to him, tossing him the ball once or twice, and letting him have
the skateboard for a few moments. Rolando 2: Quest for the Golden Orchid is the sequel and is
as addictive as the original. Should you be looking for the best deals in skateboarding items,
what’s more fitting than providing them with around the times
of the entire year.

My homepage skateboard shoes (Jasmin)

Abby
7 years ago

Awesomee things here. I am very satisfied to look your post.
Thanks a lot and I’m having a look forward to contact you.

Will you kindlpy drop me a e-mail?

tshirt forum
7 years ago

Great post. I was checking constantly this weblog and I am inspired!
Extremely helpful information particularly the final phase :) I maintain such information a lot.
I used to be looking for this certain information for a long time.
Thanks and good luck.

http://onlinefreegamesdownload.co.in/profile/vetalombard

Virtual World Bullying: Virtual World Bullying are 3D online sites where users are encouraged to design their own avatars (the figures that represent them in the virtual world),
explore and create their own environments are becoming increasingly popular.
Examples of voting and polling include the ugliest, fattest,
dumbest, more sexually promiscuous and a plethora of other
deprecating attributes. Internet Trolls are often adults who
disparage and harass unidentified online users, but
the cyberbullying troll knows the identity of the target child.

t shirts design
7 years ago

It’s actually a great and useful piece of information. I’m glad that you
just shared this helpful info with us. Please keep
us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

http://tinyurl.com/704fb990a8086faa3f9e3a515bb2fe3b

I used to be able to find good information from your content.

My page ediscovery (http://tinyurl.com/704fb990a8086faa3f9e3a515bb2fe3b)

ray bans sunglasses
7 years ago

Hi there, the whole thing is going sound here and ofcourse every one is sharing data, that’s really excellent,
keep up writing.

vendSmart
7 years ago

It’s an awesome paragraph in favor of all the internet visitors; they will obtain benefit
from it I am sure.

https://community.articulate.com

What rock bottom do believe they for you to
reach? I know my financial friends are going insane right now, but allow me to explain.
By we are all pretty much worn down and tired.

website search tools
7 years ago

The Google SERP ranking is a proof of their expertise.
Peter Gilmore’s Quay and his famous ‘Snow Egg’ certainly will
not disappoint. Features include tools to upload documents that hold search engine romance and draw
traffic, like white papers, surveys and.

my web page website search tools

Whats App Sexkontakte
7 years ago

I am now not positive where you are getting your info, however good
topic. I needs to spend a while studying much more or understanding more.
Thank you for excellent info I used to be in search of this information for my mission.

custom made tshirts
7 years ago

Right now it looks like WordPress is the best blogging platform
out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

http://www.goielts.net

(in my opinion is around high school 15-18 years old) I desire him to enhance
his reading and writing.