Excepting a few short outings here and there, I’ve basically been holed up in my house since last Wednesday. That’s a long time to be stuck inside a less-than-2000-square-foot space with unlimited access to baking supplies. Totally unrelated piece of trivia, did you know that it’s possible to gain five pounds in a week?

I would have thought that being housebound this long with the kids would have made me Homer-Simpson-something-something crazy by now, but it’s been . . . well, I do so love to complain, but truthfully it’s been kind of nice. Really nice, actually. The boys seem to have reached some kind of awesome stage where they aren’t so enormously different in ages and abilities, and I keep catching them just sort of contentedly hanging out. I can’t quite describe how it makes me feel to see them playing together or listen to Riley’s happy chatter interwoven with Dylan’s babbling. There needs to be a whole new language for that sort of joyous, heart-expanding goodness; it eclipses all things.

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Before this snowbound business I had been feeling kind of sad about Dylan, about how he’s growing so quickly and entering into the realm of knowing what he wants and not being afraid to complain about it, often at ear-splitting levels. Where did my good-natured little baby go, I kept wondering, but oh, he’s still here. It’s easier to see it when life isn’t so rushed, that’s all. When we don’t have to run around all crazy in the morning getting everyone out the door, when evenings aren’t a stressful mess of hurried meals and tired kids and exhausted parents.

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My mother and aunt were going to come for an early Christmas last Saturday, but we had to take a snow check. Now it’s unclear whether JB’s parents will make it, they’re battling their way up I-5 but last we heard they were in Salem and going about 30 MPH. We may be on our own for the holiday, and while that’s a bummer, we’re certainly not the only ones — I have coworkers and friends all over the place here in town whose family plans have been completely derailed by the weather.

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We remain optimistic about the possibility of hosting a big family meal, though, and have picked up our Giant Hunk O’ Ham. No matter what, we’re certainly not lacking for food around here (see also: five pounds). And thus it’s time for that classic holiday game played throughout many cultures this time of year . . . CAT OR HAM?

Which weighs more, our cat?

Or a bone-in ham?

The rules are simple: you place your guess in the comments, I’ll randomly pick a winner from the correct guesses, you win an Interesting Prize.

You should know that 1) we did get Cat to stand on the scale with her full weight, and 2) my scale only measures to the pound.

CAT?
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OR HAM?
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** Comments closed! CAT OR HAM data being compiled now . . .**

Comments

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Beth
Beth
13 years ago

cat LOOKS bigger, but the ham is denser. i say HAM

samantha jo campen
13 years ago

Well, okay. Visually it looks like the ham wins. But I’m thinking you wouldn’t play this game if you weren’t totally floored that Cat weighs more. So, I guess I’m going with Cat.

Yes, yes. That’s my final answer. Cat FTW!

wordygirl
13 years ago

I will go with CAT.

Sean
13 years ago

CAT.

justmouse
13 years ago

ok… as beth said, cat looks bigger, but ham is denser…but i also know that cats look deceptively slinky at times, and yet can be a total dead weight when you go to pick them up.

hmmmm….still, i’m going to go with HAM.

Laura
Laura
13 years ago

Ham. Totally.

Dana
Dana
13 years ago

Ok I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that they’re the same….??

Sande
Sande
13 years ago

I am going to go with Cat. I have a cat with long hair who looks like she weighs very little, but she just carries her weight well and it is hidden with all the fur. Unfortunatly with Cat, I don’t think you cannot use the “It’s all fur” excuse.

Cari
Cari
13 years ago

We have snow here in MN, too, but yours looks prettier. Hmmm.

I’m going to say Ham is heavier; this is a fascinating game.

Kristy
13 years ago

Ham

If you said “male brain” or “female brain” this would be a no brainer to figure out.
;-)

Gaby
Gaby
13 years ago

I’m going to guess cat, just because it would be just like a cat to weigh more than a meat product–Cat would be all like, “Heh. Humans will never guess I weigh more than than meat. FOOLS! Muwhwahahaha!”So, yeah, Cat.

Merry Christmas to you and your family. Sorry to read that the weather screwed up your plans, but I hope you and your boys have a wonderful holiday. Thanks for being such a great writer and sharing your family with the world–reading your blog and hearing about your life is highlight of mine.

kris
13 years ago

This is an awesome game.

Ham. Totally.

Maxine Dangerous
13 years ago

I’m going with ham. Mental note: Buy scale. Buy ham. Here, kitty kitty… ;)

Shelly
13 years ago

I think you would want us to say cat, because that seems like the opposite of what would seem to be right….does that even make sense?! You would think that the ham weighs more, but its a trick, so that people will think to say cat. But I am going to stick with the ham.
That makes no sense. But I say ham.

OmegaMom
13 years ago

Har! I’ll have to vote for CAT this time. That’s a hefty-looking cat, and he doesn’t have a lot of fur (some cats end up being really skinny under all their fur).

I love the look of fresh snow! Ours is all old and tracked up…

Leeann
13 years ago

I love a good game… I say CAT.

Penne
13 years ago

I’m assuming it’s a bone-in cat. Therefore, I guess CAT.

Also – please send snow our way (colorado) so I have an excuse to stay home. Pretty please?

Christy
Christy
13 years ago

Hmmmmm I’ll guess CAT! I bet weighing the cat was a good time! HA :)

Miz Robyn
13 years ago

I’m going to guess HAM. But only by a little.

Jules
13 years ago

I betcha it depends on whether or not Cat wants to be picked up. If she’s doing that floppy-cat thing where they increase their weight by a factor of ten, then Cat totally wins. Ham no longer has a choice about being picked up, so is a constant weight. Cats are not a constant weight.

Stephanie
Stephanie
13 years ago

I guess CAT.

Samantha
Samantha
13 years ago

I say cat.

Beth
Beth
13 years ago

I’m going to go with Cat. I’m impressed that you got the cat to stand on the scale. We have to go with the “weigh yourself, weigh yourself holding the cat, subtract” method.

Kellee
13 years ago

May Cat forgive us: I say cat to.

Naomi in Oz
Naomi in Oz
13 years ago

Ah, but you didn’t show us the ham. Presuming its a full leg’o’ham, from a full growed pig, then I’d say the ham. If its a wussy bit’o’leg from a mini pig, then it’s the cat.

Donna
Donna
13 years ago

I think it depends on what cat’s support staff wants you to say.
Ham ain’t talking. (It may the apple in it’s mouth)
Cat says he weighs less. Support staff’s eyebrows are raised.
Cat says he is wearing a fur coat, and the camera adds ten pounds.
I say it depends on how much of the ham cat ate while he was waiting to be weighed.

I say exactly the same.

amanda
13 years ago

I’m gonna say cat, too. S/he looks kinda chunky, whereas a thinner cat may weigh less than the ham. But yeah, cat.

Susan
13 years ago

I’ve had to shove my much smaller-looking cats about when they’re sleeping, so I know the enigma that is cat-density.

Did that even make sense? Whatever, here’s my guess:

CAT.

Dianna
13 years ago

First, the house on the hill with the snow is so pretty. Second, I’m at a toss up with the cat/ham. The cat is bigger, but the ham looks to be a bit more solid. I think I’m going to have to say the ham weights more. Hope your imlaws are making it safely up I-5. At least it’s stopped for now, we’ll see what tonight brings. Oh joy.

Sam
Sam
13 years ago

CAT. My cats weigh 12 and 16lbs.

Sunny
Sunny
13 years ago

Cat is clearly built like the proverbial brick shithouse. Cat is going to rock the competition.

Merry Christmas! I hope your inlaws make it. We’re about to embark on our cross-state trek to see the families. The usual 4 hour drive can take up to 13 hours when the roads are crap. “Oh what fun it is to ride…..” ah, bullshit.

Donna
Donna
13 years ago

Also cat is totally cheating with one foot on the floor. Busted!

Maggie
Maggie
13 years ago

Ham!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to your ADORABLE family! :)

cbrks12
cbrks12
13 years ago

Gonna go with HAM!

Ter
Ter
13 years ago

Cat looks deceptively small, especially at that “I’m going to claw your soul out for this” angle, but I’m going to wager that Cat is only slightly heavier than the ham.

Also: we got slammed two weekends in a row, once with ice then with snow (sorry for the rhyme, I was just doing my own version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas on my blog and now I can’t seem to stop!). I feel your cooped up pain. While it’s all very pretty and holiday card outside, my exact thoughts while trying to get out of the alley yesterday were, “This sucks-diddly-ucks, Flanders!” (just to keep your Simpsons theme going, hee!)

Michelle
Michelle
13 years ago

100% Cat.

Merry Christmas!

Lorraine
Lorraine
13 years ago

HAM!

Jamie :)
Jamie :)
13 years ago

HAM!! We all know how you like the meat! ;)

Kristin C.
13 years ago

HAM.

jenny
13 years ago

Cat. Only because I recently weighed my cats-after watching a show on a 25lb CAT!-and.. yea cat gets my vote!

Sorry about the snow, here in Indy we just keep getting more and more ICE. It sucks. You totally have to go to work with ice.

Justin
Justin
13 years ago

Ham

Rhea
Rhea
13 years ago

CAT!

Libby
Libby
13 years ago

Cat totally looks afraid that you will peek and see the number on the scale. I say CAT. And that second picture of Dylan is adorable!

emily
emily
13 years ago

cat.

Georgia
13 years ago

Hmmm…I’m gonna go with Cat.

I’d also like to request some video footage of Riley Chatter/Dylan Babble play-time as that sounds absolutely adorable.

Valria
13 years ago

HAM.

Mary O
Mary O
13 years ago

I’m gonna say CAT!

Jane
Jane
13 years ago

This sounds like a puzzle fit for “The Princess Bride’s” Vizzini–how should we read your game? Which do you WANT us to think is the heavier? So, I will flip a coin. The winner is: Ham.

Hope your family makes the trip safely and you have a great holiday Linda. Thanks for your humor and honesty–you’ve helped make a really hard year a little better for me.

Maral Sassouni
13 years ago

My money’s on CAT.

Marie Green
13 years ago

I’m going to say Ham, because Cat looks like s/he is petite.

Also, perhaps for New Year’s we could play Toddler or Dog?

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