This isn’t the exact design of our card (I hemmed and hawed over card layouts and naturally found the one I like the best a couple weeks after ordering and mailing out the ones I originally chose), and the Festive Family Newsletter has been altered a bit, but if I could afford more than two damn books of stamps this year, and I had all your addresses like the good little stalker I am, this is what I’d have sent you:

holidaycard2009

—-

Hello family and friends!

What a busy year it’s been at our household! Why, it’s almost impossible to know where to start—but let’s begin with this very card you hold in your hands. We are very happy with this image, which took a mere three hours, 4928105 digital photos, two sobbing children, and the eventual threat of bodily harm to capture! Gosh, there were SO MANY options featuring a child with a vacant, drooling gaze, or an adult whose facade of happiness slipped for a moment to reveal the desperate, sweaty desire for escape burning deep within their soul . . . but we felt this one was the best representation of Team Sundry!

Go team!!!

2009 has been very exciting for John, what with the launch of his new business Vioguard and his new title of ENTREPRENEUR! It was a hard decision to say goodbye to Microsoft, but we all feel confident this was the best choice for him. Unless of course the company runs out of money, in which case we sure hope you have an extra room in your house for us! Ha ha! Don’t worry, only one of us still wets the bed! Whoops, make that two!

Linda continues to enjoy life at Workplace, where she is very proud of the fact that after nearly eight continuous years of employment with the same company, she finally knows how to replace the water jug—all by herself!

We couldn’t be more proud of our kids and their many achievements in 2009. Riley had a fantastic day recently at school where he received not one, but TWO separate Injury Incident Reports for running headfirst into doorways! We were so thrilled! One more and he gets Preschool Head Bump Bingo! AIM HIGH, RILEY! Dylan’s second birthday is in February, but we’re convinced he’s a gifted child because he’s been in the terrible twos for months! Watch out, MENSA! Dylan’s also talking up a storm these days, and his favorite word to say is “horse”. Can you imagine how adorable it is to hear a toddler say “horse” all day long? “HORSE. HORSE. HORSE. HORSE.” Oh, it never gets old!

It wouldn’t be a family update without some news of our pets! Sadly, our cat Meercat went missing this year, but as Riley said, maybe she’s not really on a cat vacation, maybe she’s DEAD! So that’s a comfort! Our elderly dog Ashley is still going strong, despite having the breath of a bloated, rotting walrus corpse left on a beach in the height of summer! Way to go, Ashley!

Well, happy holidays to one and all! Here’s to 2010 and even MORE heartwarming memories!

—–

Happy holidays, friends. You have been a huge part of my year, and I thank you for being here.

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Lindsay
Lindsay
12 years ago

Oh my gosh, that part about Riley and Cat, although terribly sad, also kind of made me laugh. Um, hysterically. I’m a terrible person. But could you maybe write my holiday letter next year?

Kristin
12 years ago

This was the best Christmas letter I’ve received, ever.

You’re hella inspiring, lady. We have to plan this Vancouver Seattle meetup thing (you should come here, I think) It’s one of my goals in 2010.

Happy holidays to you and your sweet, gorgeous fam.

Anyabeth
12 years ago

My mind is totally blown by knowing Dog’s name.

Alexa
Alexa
12 years ago

dying, just dying. Happy holidays Team Sundry.

Lola
12 years ago

You are so cute! You know what I’m dying for you to do? That end of the year questionnaire thing. Can’t wait.

Kari
Kari
12 years ago

This totally reminds me of the last scene of Sex in the City, when Mr. Big’s real name was revealed.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Donna
Donna
12 years ago

I have been showing your picture and letter to everyone that gets within 10 feet of me, and you are the big winner of the best xmas letter ever!
Ya’ll ROCK!

ginger
ginger
12 years ago

You outed your pets’ names to the Internet! Linda, I am shocked.

Merry, merry HORSE HORSE HORSE HORSE!

amanda
12 years ago

Can’t think of a better way to kick off my Christmas Eve than with reading this. Awesome. Merry Christmas!

Crys
Crys
12 years ago

Too funny!

Em
Em
12 years ago

Hi Linda,
I’ve never left a comment here before but I have been reading for a long tme. I just wanted to say thank you for making my day – I am stuck at work on Christmas Eve and that post made me laugh, which is hard to do when you are stuck at work on Christmas Eve. :)
Merry Christmas, and all the best to you in 2010!

Tia
Tia
12 years ago

Hey Linda, Happy Holidays to you too!
Can’t wait to see what adventures are in store for 2010.

kate
12 years ago

love the card, and the letter is hilarious. merry Christmas and thanks for the laughs all year!

Nicki
Nicki
12 years ago

I think this may now be my favorite Christmas letter. Sorry to my family, they need to step up their game apparently. Happy Holidays to you and yours as well, and I hope the new year is a good one for you.

Michelle Whitehurst
Michelle Whitehurst
12 years ago

Merry Christmas!!! I check your blog everyday and enjoy reading it VERY MUCH!!! Thank you so much for writing and sharing.

Maria
12 years ago

I guess I figured they had actual names, but I always imagined that your pets were truly called “Cat” and “Dog”…in a Holly Golightly kind of way.

Your tweets and your blog keep me laughing on a daily basis. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas.

suzr
suzr
12 years ago

Happy Holidays to the…the…um, Sundry’s?
:)

Thanks for all the laughs and intimidating fear of future parenthood. Did I say “indimidating fear?” I meant honesty and encouragement!

Here’s to happiness in 2010!

Cheers (with the non-alcoholic beverage of your choice)!
Suz

suzr
suzr
12 years ago

and i can spel to :-D

Emily
12 years ago

Your posts always make me laugh out loud and this Christmas letter was no exception!

statia
12 years ago

That sounds like a Christmas newsletter that I would write.

Claire
12 years ago

By far, better than any family update letters I ever get. Merry Christmas!!

Carrie
12 years ago

Wow. You score BIG TIME on the Swistle scoring system! Best card I’ve NOT gotten all year!

Anonymous
Anonymous
12 years ago

Best holiday letter ever.

Also, what a beautiful family. We haven’t attempted a family photo yet. Mostly because of my fear of a total meltdown (mine, not Alex’s).

Shawna
Shawna
12 years ago

Merry Christmas Team Sundry! Thanks for a year of great blogging! (!!!!)

jody
12 years ago

Thank you for making me laugh out loud when I’m at my computer late at night. Thank you for giving words to so many of my frustrations, and for capturing the beautiful mess that can be life with a husband and two little boys (no matter how wonderful they all might be–and mine are wonderful!) I am so glad I found your blog. I look forward to every new post. =0)

Leah Rubin
12 years ago

Great card, beautiful family! Your year-end letter is terrific! I’m still working on ours (for 2007). Maybe I’ll get there soon?

Merry Christmas to you all!

Jem
Jem
12 years ago

haha yeah, Cat, Dog and JB’s names have been mentioned a few times over the years…that’s what I get for stalking you since the Diaryland days though! WAY TO GO, JEM!

Kelly C
Kelly C
12 years ago

How can I get on your Christmas list? :-)

kat
kat
12 years ago

he! i loved this newsletter. i’m all for the funny and less of the boast. merry christmas!

Michelle
Michelle
12 years ago

I’ve been hoping you’d share since reading all about it on twitter. Thanks!!!! And, like someone mentioned above, I was most excited to learn Dog’s real name too :)

sheilah
sheilah
12 years ago

Hehehe…this is so totally funny. I am so tempted to copy parts of this as a counterpoint newsletter to all the sappy letters we usually get (“…Jimmy has been elected President of the Planet while Janey is now the Queen of all Creation…”).

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Salvatore
6 years ago

Very sweet pictures. I’m goign to try again, but Benjamin thghuot looking down at the grass was good. Or as soon as he see’s the camera he zero’s in on it and just stares but won’t do his cute smiles, I definetly need to be the one getting him to smile not snapping the pictures I guess, or soon he will come around I’m sure.

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